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Sunday, January 3, 2010

Let's All Discuss World Issues and Celebrity Updates Shall We.


In an ever-changing porn industry the new "in" thing is webcam porn, often offered free by various strangers on the net who like to do kinky things. (For the shemales that fool us straight folks, fuck you) So instead of watching fake barbie-looking freaks show off private parts larger than Rihanna's forehead (I'm looking at you Jenna) you can get your alone time staring at real chicks behind the cam. Only one problem, after a while these hoes realize they are essentially virtual hookers and before offering these free shows they decide to justify why they are not hoes. So it's half-time during the NFL game and instead of watching Brian Billick for 15 minutes I decide I want to get a quick wank (masturbate) in. I enter the site and see a girl is now getting started. She takes off her top, off come the pants and she's in undergarments (see I could use fancy words too). But before this chick does the inevitable and stick the wine bottle up her coochie, she decides to show she is brighter than your average hoe and wants to chat about the health care reform. Like seriously? Bitch are you eating play-dough??? What these "intelligent women" need to know is us men just want to get this nut off and go back to whatever it was we were doing. I don't log onto pornography-based websites which boast the label "Hottest Cam Girls Live" to discuss whether or not Obama is doing a good job or to find out who George Clooney is fucking. It's time these hoes realize they are only there to provide 5 minutes (sometimes less) of pleasure and then they are of no use. If I wanted to hear about dumb shit from dumb people I'd just get Fox News and listen to Glenn Beck all day.




Yesterday's Picks: We went 1-2 and overall we are 7-5. I'll lose sleep over that Texas Tech/Michigan State game, not because of the final result but because of the felt Michigan played well enough to cover but all came down with a case of gonorrhea in the final 6 minutes of the 4th. Let's keep it rolling.


Today's Picks:


Dallas Cowboys vs Philadelphia Eagles...Verdict: Over 47.5


Dallas plays defense at home. It won't be enough to stop DeSean, Celek, and Maclin as the Eagles are all about that offense. Expect this one to be a shoot-out, back and forth sort of game like we saw from the Eagles for the most part this season.


Atlanta Falcons vs Tampa Bay Bucs.....Verdict: Falcons -1.5


Sure Tampa Bay is hot right now but they only average 15.6 a game. Atlanta will want this win so they could make franchise history and finish with consecutive winning records for the first time. I don't see it close as the line suggests and I may be totally wrong but I just see ATL going for the kill at Raymond James stadium.


Chicago Bears vs Detroit Lions...Verdict: Bears -3


Jay Cutler, Lovie Smith and company have woken up from their nap. They were supposed to be awake in September, they woke up in late December instead. Lovie will want to keep his job and Detroit is so terrible they couldn't beat a crippled at long jump.


All lines provided by Bet365.com




Almost forgot: My Sobriety counter:


35 days
3,024,000 seconds
50,400 minutes
840 hours
5 weeks




May the winners be ours. Taking over the world one step at a time. Incase you haven't gotten the memo my name is Julius James and I'm the fucking shit.

5 comments:

Anonymous said...

Hey maybe she just wanted an opinion, if she gets it stuck she wants people to go for free health care, when it's free you never get the best, you gotta pay man.

Luken said...

Yay... More BS Shock value statements and over the top sensationalism of the worst kind. Whats next? you've hit up Asians, blacks, whats next native American/Canadians? do tell.

BronxBomber said...

Anon: I was speaking about a new trend in general. More than one chick is doing it. Agreed about the free statement though.

Luken: This is the 3rd blog you've read/commented on. Keep reading I'm loving the support.

Anonymous said...

Great blog as usual!

Anonymous said...

Def. an interesting blog. Your really out there, it's actually refreshing. Keep it up, looking forward t your next masterpeice.