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Friday, March 25, 2011

Will Be Back

4-6 weeks, same url, same ignorant attitude, they told me to chill on the racism but I probably won't. see y'all in May.

Wednesday, March 23, 2011

Hanging Them Up - The Last Ever Entry

Before I get into it, I thought I'd dip into it one last time so there's a blog below. After you read that come back here or after you read this go there lol.

Bittersweet moment. I knew this day would come but never in a million years did I think so soon. As most of you know I started writing for the bleacher report like a week ago. 3 articles in and as of write now, 1715 reads. I have no idea what that means but someone clearly thought it was good. I got an email in my inbox a few days ago and they showed clear interest in working with me long term. To make a long story short, I'm now going to be working with a prominent company as a paid writer covering the Miami Heat among other things pertaining to the NBA. I think I'll be doing other teams but my first assignment is the Heat, they loved the LeBron article and said I shouldn't be doing this for free. I have to fly to New York soon but I signed all the contracts today. I'm a smart dude, I know if this blog gets out, it potentially jeopardizes the contracts I signed today and everything like that. This sportswriting stuff is my dream and my mom reminded me today how she laughed at me when I would tell her about it as a kid. In her words "now look."  So the way I see it, as painful as this is, this blog means more to me than it does to y'all, unfortunately I have to close it down. 

I'd tell you more about the whole NBA thing but I know there are a couple of fuckheads that would do anything to ruin that so I'll keep that quiet for now. I got a few things to say though. I'd like to truly thank each and every one of you for your support. Every click made a difference, literally. I think I mentioned this once before (like a year ago) but everything I received from the blog (ad revenue, donations after good picks, the google cash etc.) it all went to sponsor a kid. 100% went to I paid plenty out of my own pocket and when the blog blew up I just upped the monthly payments. Shameless plug but if you feel the need to donate, foodforthepoor is the place. 96.9% goes to the kids and only 0.7% is spent on administration. The rest is spent on fundraising. They've also kept me up to date with the kid's progress etc, so I want to thank you for allowing this to happen.

I met some of the most amazing people as a result of this blog. I'm glad a lot of you let me into your lives and I hope y'all continue to stay in contact with me. Don't hesitate to email me. Even if I've never spoken to you it would be great speaking to you. Just a quick note to some specific people: to all the people I talk to from the prisons and to the people from the hood who follow this or just anyone in general, if you take nothing else from the blog I want you to listen to this: 

Don't conform if it changes who you are inside. Because of this blog I've been able to see people near death turn their lives around. Don't ever be one of those folks that defer everything or blame someone else. It takes more than just belief, it takes hard work but trust me, I've seen it done. In 22 years I've lived more than most. 95% of people in this world are designed to be gas station attendants and flip burgers. If that makes you happy then I'm sincere when I say congrats. If it doesn't then you must be able to differentiate from the rest. You can't blame your childhood or other people for reasons as to why you haven't done shit. You got to get up and give it all you got. There's 24 hours a day and for the past year I've been sleeping 4 hours a day, if that. Make shit happen, the power of the individual is huge, trust me when I say that. So long as your alive then there's still hope, when your world comes crashing down then remember, you aren't at rock bottom. Rock bottom is for people who are dead, once you breathing you have the will to change, I never believed this til I saw it with my own eyes multiple times.

To the folks in jail who fuck with me, you're fucking lucky. Remember that. Most of y'all who I talk to will get out at some point. I know a million people who haven't gotten that chance. If you get out that means you got time on this earth to change. Thanks for the support I can't believe they let you guys read this shit in prison programs but I won't stop emailing y'all. Just remember once you're living, the clock hasn't stopped. You still got that chance to make things right.

Thanks to all the "Ragers." It was a pleasure having you. Y'all have all me held me down and thanks to Gabriel Morency etc. for allowing me to plug my shit. I hope y'all make money and do it big in whatever it is that you do. You guys will still get daily picks.

I'll still have my weekly appearance on so check that out every Monday morning. Still check me out at bleacher report my new articles will still be published from there as well I believe, they'll just also be in newsletters etc. I'll still respond to every email I ever get and I'll still be working with the various programs that I work with.

I intend on having a new blog, once I figure it out I'll throw a link up on here. But how do you write something that can't jeopardize a job. Lmao it'll be some gay ass pg-13 bullshit. I haven't even begun to think about it but when I do I'll throw a link up. I intend on keeping this up for about 2 weeks, then I'll post a link to the new, gayer blog once I find out what I want to do. Then after about a month I'll delete this page. In the 15 months that I've done this I hope I kept you entertained, I hope you won money and I hope you figured out how to obtain happiness in life because it's the only thing that matters.

Before I go just a quick note if you believe in this sort of thing then help me out. Someone I know (about the furthest dude from a friend I could think of) is about to start his prison sentence for 25 years tomorrow in Ohio. Kid is 19 and has no idea what he's about to endure, please say a prayer, let the law and the man above deal with him and may dude find peace. I ain't shit to judge. 

Salute, I'm out.

Contact Info:
May the winners be ours. Taking over the world one step at a time. In case you haven't gotten the memo my name is Julius James and I'm the fucking shit.

Tuesday, March 22, 2011

Why Blacks Shouldn't Use Social Networks

My boy is a real street dude he ain't down with this social network stuff. He doesn't understand it and I'm pretty sure he recently got the fucking internet. He stays on street corners doing whatever it is that he does. He's been harassing me to teach him how to use twitter so he could follow celebs and kiss their ass and tell the hot white girls that he wants them. In other words this dude really thinks he could get celebrities to bang him off twitter. So I helped him out, well tried to. I spent hours telling him what I use twitter for, what it means to follow someone, what it means to have followers and the benefits of this shit.

Now let me explain something, dude works at futureshop, he wants to start a twitter name @futureshop and tell people to come to him when they enter the store. That's what this black dude wants to do, try to use twitter to get extra commission. When I told him he's wasting his time he got pissed off at me. Now he's mad because he realizes that it isn't logical for him to start a twitter account, using futureshop's name in an effort to tell people to look for "Dwayne" to "hook them up"  so he creates a basic account and adds all his favorite celebs. You know this dude gets mad when celebrities don't respond to him. He thinks that 50 Cent or J.Lo should stop from their busy ass day and respond to his every message. The fuck is wrong with black people. Then it gets worse. 

I sent him a message calling him a faggot privately on twitter, the first thing he does in the morning is send me a text calling me disrespectful because all the celebrities he follows saw that message. Then insisted he was right and believed that 50 cent and J.LO saw me call him a faggot and that's the reason as to why they don't respond to his messages. Blacks, get the fuck off social networks. We make great chicken, we could dance, we're excellent at making babies and then leaving them, we're good at spending money we don't have and we make great music. We have no reason to be fucking around these social networks, if you don't know how they work, kindly stop using them. You're embarrassing the good folks who know how to use it.

Reasons As to Why The World Thinks I'm An Asshole.

 As always, my bleacher report article in case you haven't checked it out: Big East Misery. and my weekly article on March Madness Recap Thus Far

I had something good planned today but due to a recent convo with someone it just slipped my mind lmao and I can't remember it so here's something while I watch Intervention. Reasons as to why the world thinks I'm an asshole:

- I watch Intervention to laugh at the addicts and then laugh at their familie's letters during the intervention and then laugh when the crackhead relapses. 

-When intoxicated, if I feel wronged, I have a strong tendency to steal (think pubs and stadiums)

-I watch those obese shows to laugh at fat people blame their father's death or divorce as the reason for them being 470lbs.

-I was wasted in Summerhill train station once. Shorty (who also had a few too many) and I decided to have a boxing fight. We were play boxing but then I punched her in the throat by accident (was aiming for chin) and she started crying about how she couldn't breathe. I waited with her til she was okay. If you ask me I'll tell you it was one of those " I forgot my strength and my hand slipped" scenarios. After that day she never was the same with me again and if you ask her I'm some sort of "domestic abuse loving asshole."

- I laughed when my grade 7 principal informed us that our teacher had committed suicide. The fuck you want me to do. Dude was depressed and all these motherfuckers crying about their "dogs and great grandma" so they could go to grief counseling. I ain't going to cry unless I feel it.

-When drunk, I'll piss anywhere I simply don't give a fuck.

-There's a girl who is in love with me but strongly denies it. In return I put her in uncomfortable situations everyday to see how far I could push it. Her reactions makes my day. 

- I've hired alcoholics to do shit, then paid them in alcohol.

-Every three days I ask my mom about her worthless ass brother so I could have a laugh. She knows this but tells me anyway.

-If either of my parents tells me something and tells me not to tell the other one, I will just to watch shit go down. But yet they tell me anyway. 

- I steal grapes every time I go grocery shopping or chocolate from places like the Bulk Barn. Don't blame me my mom taught me that.

-Given the right opportunity, I'll hop the turnstiles on the subway to avoid paying the $2.75

Recapping the night: It meant nothing, bet 10-15% of a typical unit, don't like anything. 

Pacers -3 -110 (W)
Celtics -1.5 -110 (W)
Utah/Memphis over 202.5 -110 (L)
San Antonio/GS over 209.5 -110 (L)

Contact Info:
May the winners be ours. Taking over the world one step at a time. In case you haven't gotten the memo my name is Julius James and I'm the fucking shit.

Monday, March 21, 2011

Western World Fights Against Tyranny once Again.

 New article up: Big East Misery

Since September 1st 1969 this silly motherfucker has led Libya. Let's think back to 1969 for a bit. My pops was born in 65 so I wasn't even a sperm yet. In 1969 Butch Cassidy and the Sundance Kid now came out, the Miracle Mets won the world series and the Looney Toons came to an end. For 42 years no one cared about this crazy Libyan president. The motherfucker still rocking the same shit from 42 years ago, hairstyle and all but no one had a problem with it back then. They say he's evil, he's corrupt, he kills people and blah blah, so why the fuck didn't you do something about it 42 fucking years ago? 

42 years later, some Egyptians who probably wanted to watch Rebecca Black's hit song "Friday" and watch "The Situation" on Thursday nights decided they didn't want to live the way they did . Why? we'll never know but then the Libyan Arabs said, if those motherfuckers get to watch Jersey show and gay viral videos then we should have that right. So the Libyans started making noise. But this Gadaffi dude isn't a pussy. There's a reason he has those motherfuckers still watching "Leave it to Beaver." Garyounis University in Libya, is ranked 3748 in the world. Let's go down the list: Arkansas-Pine Buff: 4460. University of Tampa: 3073, University of Charleston 4131, Missouri Tech 7591, Prairie View 5895. I'm not saying Gayounis is Harvard but I'm saying it's not as bad as we think. So these Arabs are crying cause they want to watch MTV instead of re-runs of All in the Family and Taxi.

 Gaddaffi says fuck it, I gave you motherfuckers a decent life for 42 years and now you want to cry, he defends himself. After his back is against the wall he starts shooting back. Now the western wants to intervene because they won't allow a "tyrant." to stand. Here I did the research for you. Click this link: now research St. Louis, Philly, Newark, or Flint and tell me if someone put a gun to the head, based on what you saw where would you pick? These Libyan folks got nice tourist parks and shit, wonderful beaches, museums and cathedrals. I'm not saying Libya is Disneyworld but it isn't what the majority perceive it to be. Philly has Eagle fans and the stairs that rocky ran up. So now all these motherfuckers are going after the Libyan guy who controlled a place for 42 years without much conflict. If he's such a bad person like everyone is making him seem, then where the fuck was the intervention for the past 42 years? You mean to tell me in 42 years, things suddenly changed overnight in Libya. 

So now, you got Western countries + Europe wasting limited resources in the midst of an on-going economic crisis, in the midst of the hardest times people have seen since the Great Depression. Innocent folks will die, endless money will be spent and the Libyan landscape will be ruined and take decades to rebuild. If things were so bad, they would have fucking intervened 42 years ago. I hope y'all remember this on November 11th, it's all good, we're now safe from the tyrant and our freedom is being fought for as we speak.

Recapping the night: Ya I lost a total of 1.1 units, hope y'all didn't lose more. Hate to say I told you so but today was a crapshoot day and I knew there was no way in hell I could make money so I did the recreation thing. 

Play of day: Knicks -1 -110 (L)


V-Tech/Witchita State over 129 -110 (W)
UNC -4 -110 (L)
Duke/Michigan  over 135 -110 (W)
Ohio St/George Mason over 135 -110 (W)
Syracuse -4.5 -110 (L)
Notre Dame -5 -110 (L)

NBA: Heavier plays but I won't be giving back what I made yesterday

Nets/Washington over 194 -110 (L)
Suns/Clippers over 208.5 -110 (L)
Raptors/OKC over 210 -110 (L)

Contact Info:
May the winners be ours. Taking over the world one step at a time. In case you haven't gotten the memo my name is Julius James and I'm the fucking shit.

Sunday, March 20, 2011

I'm Drunk as Fuck Tho So I'll Just Talk to Myself

I'm drunk and I've can't type so bless the spell checker. If you don't have "Fast Car" or "Smells Like Teen Spirit" in your top 25 of all time then you're a faggot. Dudes out here quoting fucking Prodigy. In 1988, dude was 14 years old. At 14 years old I was banging the fuck out of this chick on her 3rd floor apartment on 6 Glomorgan ave. Prodigy as you can all see was in fucking ballet school. But nahhhhh " P Gunna, shots stay a come-up. Out them hammers at light speed make it a hot summer...metropolitan of the world, I'll show you where I come from by how the cash stacks, and how I make my gun bust." Yea get this ballerina loving asshole the fuck out of here. Tracy Chapman > Prodigy. To me, if you blatantly lie in your raps as often as he does, you belong in the same fucking category as Officer Rick Ross. No one who went to ballet school, who resides from Queenbridge should be talking about making a gun bust. The lesbian wins.

You know who else is a a faggot, the guy at the bar. Shit went down,  he wanted to take it outside, I was more than willing. So we step outside, dude ran back in. So unnecessary, why the fuck would you pop your mouth off and run back in when I go outside? Fucking faggot. Another dude at the bar today shit his fucking pants, I know who it was too it was that weird motherfucker who told me he loses the girls because he's annoying. 

But check this email my boy received from a dude he hasn't spoken to in a year: eh bucko. i dont appreciate what you covet or dream of my dad. i know that you have some homosexual tendencies to dream of and ejaculate queer as folk esque stuff, so fuck off. i am not your friends friend or your enemy. you are a coward, and a mule. and we dont appreciate your kind of fun.
My nigga he called you a mule though. Who the fuck refers to people as bucko. Alright I gotta be up in 3.5 hours, peace. Steer clear of my picks tomorrow, I'll be hungover.

Recapping the night: 8-3

Play of the day:
Florida/UCLA over 131.5 -110 (W)
Richmond -3 -110 (W)
San Francisco/Hawaii over 135 -110 (W)


Northwestern +5 -110 (W)
West Virginia +4 -110 (L)
Charleston +4 -110 (W)
Western Michigan -1 -110 (L)
Florida -5 -110 (W)
Temple/SDST over 125 -110 (W)
Gonzaga -1 -110 (L)
UConn -3.5 -110 (W)

Saturday, March 19, 2011

Blog Below, My Hotmail Isn't Working

Gotta post my plays here, my hotmail refuses to work. Everything is light but I smashed those 3 POD's. Best of luck and yes I know I'm stubborn with the overs but that's just me being an idiot:

Play of the day:
Florida/UCLA over 131.5 -110
Richmond -3 -110
San Francisco/Hawaii over 135 -110


Northwestern +5 -110
West Virginia +4 -110
Charleston +4.5 -110
Western Michigan -1 -110
Florida -5 -110
Temple/SDST over 125 -110
Gonzaga -1 -110
UConn -3.5 -110

Why They Deserve to Be In The Kitchen

 New article for those interested: Meet the Future: Jimmer Fredette

My girl (she said that's how she wants to be referred to on the blog so you jealous heaux fight her, not me) wonders why the hell I disappear from life for 13 hours a day for the last few days. When I told her I was watching March Madness she asked if she could watch. Now I got a decision to make, do I watch the games while eating Mexican chips and drinking Kool-aid Jammers by myself bitching at all the terrible picks I'm making. Or I can invite her, she asks me a billion questions and keeps me company. Now to be fair she warned me she was going to be asking a lot of questions but I'm a smart dude, I know that this will benefit me at some point so I say sure let's watch it together. Big mistake.

See when shorty said she was going to talk a lot during the game, I figured she would be commenting on uniform colors, secretly fantasizing about the athletes, and bitching about cheerleaders. Nope I was completely wrong. The game starts off and I say "nice bucket." What's a bucket? So I spent 5 minutes explaining what it means. Then with every 3-pointer I'd say "wet." She caught on, it got annoying really quick. I then spent 20 minutes explaining what a "charity stripe" is and why athletes foul other athletes. Then it kept getting worse. She kept asking why the camera keeps showing Bruce Pearl and how the hell do I explain NCAA-sanctions and athletic directors to someone who has never watched basketball before. She was adamant too. By the second set of games she did the unthinkable. She started getting the hang of it all, even I was impressed at how quickly she was picking up on things so I figured for the second set of games things would go smoother.

Before the game tips off (I had to repeatedly explain what a tip off is) she went and got a pen and a paper and started taking notes. I'm dead ass serious she was analyzing everything, including every second off the shot clock. Then things fell apart. See she thinks she's an expert now, she starts drawing up plays in which the center and the power-forward stay at their own end when the ball is in their possession. Thus, her idea was basically to have 2 bigs guarding the basket on each side throughout the game, like a safety in football. Then you have the other 3 on offense. So basically you're playing a 3 on 3 with 2 defenders on each side. See what I'm saying, I'm fucking confused just describing that and I know you're lost as well and it makes no fucking sense but she was being adamant. Babe you know you're the best and seeing as how we had such a great time I'm going to send you a gift. I'm going to give you a free first class ticket to any one of these destinations: Trivoli Libya, Tokyo Japan, or Newark New Jersey. I love you so much that I want you to pick a place and have a great time.

Recapping the night: 6-9 was a blessing today. 


1) Michigan +2 -110 (W)
2) Michigan/Tennessee over 127.5 -110 Play of the Day (L)
3) Notre Dame/Akron over 135.5 -110 (L)
4) Villanova -1 -110 (L)
5) Florida St +1 -110 (W)
6) Florida St/Texas A&M over 122 -110 (L)
7) Ohio St./Texas-San Anotnio over 137.5 -110 (L)
8) Kansas/Boston U over 136 -110 (L)
9) Purdue/St. Peters over 119.5 -110 (L)
10) Marquette +2.5 -110 (W)
11) UNLV -1.5 -110 (L)
12) Georgia +5.5 -110 (W)
13) Georgetown -5 -110 (L)
14) Syracuse/Indiana St. over 129 -110 (W)
15) Airforce/Santana Clara over 130.5 -110 (W)

Contact Info:
May the winners be ours. Taking over the world one step at a time. In case you haven't gotten the memo my name is Julius James and I'm the fucking shit.

Friday, March 18, 2011

The Japanese Does Not Care About The Japanese People.

Before I start, if you haven't already, fuck with my Bleacher Report Article. Decline of the NBA. Also, I've picked an official song for the blog. Play this shit right here: Official Song of the Blog. Light one up and bang that one hard, I'm not playing I bang that shit loud as hell.

I haven't really focused much on this Japanese thing because if I were to sit there and cry about all these natural disasters and shit I'd be listening to Evanescence and cutting myself at least 8x a day. But I must say, these motherfuckers are stupid. That tsunami and earthquake stuff fucked up the nuclear power plant. Everybody and their mother knows that the Nuclear shit is serious, that will kill you and if you ain't dead it will have your kids looking like Sloth from the Goonies. The world does not need any more motherfuckers walking around looking like Sloth, even an ignorant fuck like me knows this shit is serious. So what do the Japanese do to address the issue? They ask for "limited" support. Alright now I know they have a huge economy and they got all the money in the world and shit so when a country asks for "limited" support you figure they'd just take care of this nuclear shit on their own.

What do the Japanese do? They tell the world that 50 motherfuckers are risking their lives. What are they doing? They are fucking shooting water guns at a fucking power plant and expecting the shit to go away. Really Japan, these motherfuckers are taking buckets of seawater and shit and trying to splash it on the plant, the fuck is wrong with you people. 50 dudes out their risking their lives and over the past few days, nothing is getting done. It just keeps getting worse and worse and the Japanese keep smiling saying they got everything under control, they got excellent water guns. Everybody in that country is going to start looking like Sloth with multiple heads and shit and the Japanese government is to blame. If I were them I'd call Obama and tell that dude to bring everything and his ugly ass wife to come and stop this shit. 

See and the problem is we already know how they are. They marry computers, robots, they have sex with virtual game characters, they make weird porn, they don't shave, they have sex in public places in front of kids, they're into that sadistic shit and they got an infatuation with cartoons. Those are normal Japanese people. Now that they're being introduced to insane amounts of radiation, could you imagine how more fucked up they'd be? What could be worse? I could see these dudes trying to scientifically impregnate animals and shit. Their own people are being fucked up and instead of begging for help like any other rational human being with no other option, these people decide that they'll take matters into their own hands and shoot water guns at a big ass plant and say a prayer. It's a shame too, among all the people that will now either be fucked up or dead because of the irresponsible actions of the Japanese government, in all of this we're forgetting the most important thing, we all lost Ramen Noodles, it's a sad day. 

Recapping the Night: I hope y'all made loot. 8-4. 

1) West Virginia -1.5 -110 (W)
2) Butler +2.5 -110 (W)
3) Butler/Old Dominion over 121.5 -110 Play of Day (L)
4) Penn St. +2.5 -110 (W)
5) Vanderbilt -2.5 -110 (L)
6) SD st/ Northern Colorado over 130 -110 (L)
7) Florida/ UC Santa Barabara over 127.5 -110 Play of the Day (W)
8) U Conn -10 -110 (W)
9) U Conn/Bucknell over 132 -110 (W)
10) UCLA +2 -110 (W)
11) St. Johns -1.5 -110 (L)
12) Utah St./Kansas St. over 128 -110 (W)

Contact Info:
May the winners be ours. Taking over the world one step at a time. In case you haven't gotten the memo my name is Julius James and I'm the fucking shit.

Thursday, March 17, 2011

The Story of White Chick and ForeSkin.

Before I get into it and I don't ask for much but I'm going to need y'all to push this one if y'all like it. I told y'all I was on the grind. I'll be doing daily blogs, sports handicapping, I'll write for once a week and now onto a new venture. Bleacher Report accepted my black ass so if y'all could push this shit it'd be greatly appreciated. My first article right here: The Declination of the NBA. I'm either going to succeed or fail but there's no way I'm going to be stuck in the middle. Far from the best thing I've ever written but it's a start. Also let me know what y'all think either on here or in the comments section of my articles cause you guys represent the few opinions I actually give a fuck about. I'm going to promote the hell out of these for now so be warmed, now it' time to transform from Professional Aaron to Degenerate JJ, let's go.

I hate to do this to dude but I just have to, most of y'all know my friend foreskin, well after this you'll know him some more. When I first met Foreskin we both worked a shitty job at BMO Field. I actually thought dude was asexual (google it if you don't know what it means) because he'd often tell me how the concept of oral sex disgusts him. Fast-forward  a few years later and he changed his tone and actually wasn't the weird freak I thought he was to be, well he was but at least dude is cool. Foreskin was digging this white girl, I forget her name and the only reason I remember her is because I got wasted for American Thanksgiving and just started whipping peanuts at her. Eventually Foreskin decided to ask her "out."

Now the chick was pretty hot but there's a few things I can't understand. To me, when someone says "we're going out." it means boyfriend/girlfriend and the chick is putting out or at least giving you some form of action. Foreskin asked her out, then changed his mind and withdrew the offer. (Who the fuck does that.) Then after more deliberation, he asked her out again and she said yes. This, to me means that they were a couple. Now, I'm not sure the length of time they went out, but lets say 5 months. The most he ever got out of this was one accidental boob grab. He's 23, she's 21, and that's all that happened. He ain't get head, he ain't get to finger her, he ain't get to see her tits, he felt her, accidently, one time. To make matters worse this chick lives like 45 miles away. 

Then things kind of fell apart. I don't exactly know or understand why either of them would agree to this, I mean ya she's hot but it's the equivalent of being at a peep show on demand, except the hot ass girl ain't taking her clothes off. So you're left there starring at a perfectly hot chick alone in a room but you can't do anything. So eventually they broke it off. Then Foreskin started noticing their mutual friends were distant. After 6 weeks he asked them what the fuck was going on. They told him that white chick had said he was stalking her and he wouldn't leave her house and blah blah blah. See the story just gets more weird. First of all I could have understood if she did that when he rescinded the offer the first time but they went out after that. Let's look at the facts. She lived 45 miles away, he spent a shitload of gas. He had to drop his crew, that was 5 people because they all took her side. He probably spent money on her as well on food at the very least. This dude spent all that and what did he get out of it? An accidental boob grab. In situations like this one I'd be hitting the refresh button on that craigslist casual encounters page over and over. Only you man, only you.

Recapping the Night: I told y'all fuck with the play of the day and toy with everything else, and voila: 

Play of the Day:
Alabama St/ Texas San-Antonio over 129 -110 (W)

VCU/USC over 127 -110 (L)

Denver/ Hawks over 202 -110 (L)
Celics/Pacers over 193.5 -110 (L)
Charlotte/Houston over 200 -110 (L)
Sixers + 1 -110 (W)

Contact Info:
May the winners be ours. Taking over the world one step at a time. In case you haven't gotten the memo my name is Julius James and I'm the fucking shit.

Wednesday, March 16, 2011

I'm Blessed.

I told my queen today I said "babe, if I had like a micropenis, so let's say I was 3 inches, would you want to leave?" She dead ass serious said no and I could tell she wasn't lying. (for the record my cock isn't 3 inches but some of y'all already know that, I just wanted her to feed my already inflated ego). So then I started thinking, what the fuck is micro-penis. I know my boy sent me some Howard Stern clip but I don't care to watch another dude's junk all that much unless it's porn and I block it out so I never really understood what a micro-penis was. Today I said fuck it, I'm going to research. So I typed in "micro-penis" in google and I was greeted with endless pictures. I backspaced the fuck out of there and then I got into some forum where dude was bitching. You know I read it and felt fucking sorry for these people. It was a fucking micro-penis support group, these dudes walking around with 1-2.75 inch cocks while erect. Hitting 3 is a dream for these folks.
Read this y'all : Depressing Ass Shit. I read that shit and started immediately thanking God. I read another one where dude was married and after kids his wife couldn't take it anymore (understandably) and he was crying and shit. What the fuck could you do with a 2 inch cock? Do these dudes jack off with their thumb and index finger? How the fuck do you even penetrate with a 2 inch dick? There's no sensation in that. Anytime my day is going like shit and I'm losing bets and nothing is going to right, I'm going to say thank you, I didn't end up like those dudes. The fuck did they do to deserve a small dick? Let's be real even a chick who loves you with all her heart is going to change her mind and want some satisfaction.
There's no country for these dudes with microdicks. The Red Cross should be helping these people. You can put me in an earthquake, a tsunami, take my house, my car, I could lose my job, I could lose everything I've ever owned but at least I got my dick. These dudes out here born this way, they're lucky to get one sexual experience in their lives. It's so bad I don't even think prostitutes with crack addictions want to hit that. It's some really sad shit, these dudes born pretty much with zero to a slight chance of getting laid in their lives.  Sorry I'm distracted as I'm typing this I'm watching Piers Morgan and they're showing footage of this Japan shit and some motherfucker is taking pictures and walking and shit while the wave was washing him up. Dude really rolled out his camera and started snapping from different angles and shit while everyone took their asses up a hill. The fuck is wrong with these chinks. Back to the dudes with micropenises, if you got one or if you know someone with a 2 inch dick, just tell them/yourselves this: It can't get any worse, you were born at rock bottom, it takes people years to hit rock bottom but you started there, so be happy and realize it really can't get any worse. Pray for these people y'all, they never had a proper wank in their lives.
Recapping the night: After the fact, I know but I forgot to mention, if you're breaking the bank over the NIT, CIT, whatever the other tournament is called, then you shouldn't be gambling lmao. These are light ass plays because the tourneys are equivalent to your son's grade 8 tourney. The real shit starts Thursday.

Plays of the Day:
Alabama/Coastal Carolina over 127 -110 (L)
Clemson -4.5 -110 (W)

N.C. AShville -3.5 -110 (W)
Dayton +5 -110 (L)
James Madison +2 -110 (L)
Vermont/Cleveland St. over 128.5 -110 (L)
Furman +4.5 -110 (L)
Jacksonville/East Carolina over 131 -110 (W)
Hofstra +2 -110 (L)
Air Force/ North Dakota over 124 -110 (W)
Hawaii -1.5 -110 (game not over yet)

Mavs -1 -110 (L)

Contact Info:
May the winners be ours. Taking over the world one step at a time. In case you haven't gotten the memo my name is Julius James and I'm the fucking shit.

Tuesday, March 15, 2011

More Faggotry

So I got a BlackBerry. I didn't want to do it but I did, now I feel like a faggot. For starters, I did it so I could access my email 24/7 so when my future baby mama in 2019 hits me up I could respond in a timely ass fashion and so I could get scores when I'm not at a computer. Peep this though, due to some flaws in the system I've been paying $7 month for my plan since 2003. I think that's 50 weekday minutes, 250 texts and unlimited received texts. Now I'm paying $37/month and got mbs and kbs and shit. Nigga I just need this shit for pussy, to help my friend and in case I'm being shot at.Oh before I forget, any of y'all could fuck with me now here's my pin: 2607FC8C

I'm an old fashion dude I grew up on that shit where you had to put your finger in the hole (get your mind out the gutter) and spin that shit around and around. Now I'm dealing with SMS, MMS, BB Pins and email. I don't care for none of this shit. Why are people addicted to it, it don't suck your dick, most of y'all don't use it to make money so it can't be that. This shit won't get you pussy cause my 12 year old cousin got one, I just can't see the infatuation. I'm trying not to be cynical but I wake up in the morning and some chick from the American midwest sends me an e-greeting card almost every single morning and that makes my day. I grab some oatmeal and laugh at people with my boy Razza that makes my day. I tease Abi about her mom in a bathing suit, that makes my day. I holla at my girl Hope and she tells me she milked a cow and how she'd straddle my cock and that makes my day. Then my twisted nigga Cheebs will tell me how his piss smelt like period blood. Lastly my friend Mouse will hit me up and try to make me jealous cause she wants my dick and I'll tell her to fuck off and I have fun doing that, it makes me happy. It's beneficial to me, this blackberry shit ain't shit. I don't get it, niggas lose their wife and kids over it, shit's real.

All it is, is a motherfucking phone with internet. Big fucking deal. As I'm typing this right now I bet you there are 5 dudes losing their wives over this because they're addicted. It's the lights, the instant email access, the applications, the ability to instantly pay bills, man that don't mean shit. I've had it for 7 hours now and I barely fuck with the thing. I just don't understand how people are addicted. What's so good about it. We're so compartmentalized, so structured, so addicted to social norms, it's like people are consistently hiding something. What is it? What are people avoiding all the time. You see people on the bus fucking around with this shit. I been to business meetings and there's a dude there pissing life away talking to people about nothing on this shit. You sit in the back of class and there are always 30 people doing all sorts of shit with this thing. Now that I have one I don't get it. You'd swear this thing is crack to some people and people lose so much shit with intrinsic value because of it. Yet like the dude at the store said, by next year everyone will have to fuck with this Data shit that costs $30+ a month, the only people winning right now are corporations, fuck technology.

Recapping the Night:  3-4, Sixers had it, this one stings a bit.

Buffalo +1.5 -110 (W)

Clippers/Grizzlies over 202 -110 (L)
Denver +3 -110 (W)
Spurs +4.5 -110 (L)
Suns +7 -110 (W)
Sixers -1.5 -110 (L)
Golden State +1 -110 (L)

Contact Info:
May the winners be ours. Taking over the world one step at a time. In case you haven't gotten the memo my name is Julius James and I'm the fucking shit.

Monday, March 14, 2011

A Eulogy For A Friend

For starters, I'm always on the grind, check my article on the website if you're interested : Concussions and Trauma.

So another installment of the fucked up life of yours truly. I have this alcoholic friend who hates the world (shit, he sounds similar to me minus the alcoholism part) and he swears he's going to die in the near-future. A few months ago he asked me to write his eulogy and he insisted I speak at his funeral. I never gave it much thought but he's progressively gotten worse and it's only a matter of time before organ failure sets in so tonight I figured i'd give it a go. If he wants me to speak at his funeral these are the exact words that would come out of my mouth: (everything I say is 100% accurate)

Dearly beloved we are gathered here today to mourn, or celebrate, (depending on the side you're on) the death of Nate. Let's call a spade a spade. Nate was a failure in life. He knocked up a chick at 18, made her get an abortion. He often thought about killing his parents. He hated the world and chances are, if you're listening to this, he wanted you dead. I could get up here and talk all this bullshit about how he was a great person but he was alright. Dude was funny as fuck and if not for the alcohol and drugs I'm conviced he'd be an excellent sitcom writer. Instead he spent days lurking various webcam sex websites and cried about past girlfriends. He sucked at video games and spent all his money on hookers or booze. He often said the hookers he plowed didn't allow him to do anal because he was too big so there's an accomplishment for our loved one (no homo) Nate. He didn't take much victories in his life but at least he wasn't a toll booth collector or a border guard, he at least tried to succeed.

He banged some hot heaux without paying them but he was the type of dude that wanted to pay so he didn't have to converse with them. He was a decent cook and if you got to know him like I did, he was a good friend. Deep down he wanted to change he just didn't feel he was worth it. I also contributed to his death. At first I was like "ay nigga slow down." After a while I knew it was false hope so I started telling him to drink more and speed up the inevitable process. He went from beer to vodka and cranberry juice. Sometimes I'd join him. After that he spent most of his money on a variety of alcohol and would make Long Island Ice Teas at 5 shots per drink. He'd have a few of those, then some weed, then some pints. By midnight he wanted us all dead and often gave me elaborate descriptions as to how he was going to kill people. Because I'm an asshole, I encouraged it. He even told me, when he shot people up, he'd be wearing my blog url on a t-shirt so I could get publicity, that's how considerate the guy was.

He had mental problems (as do most of us) so who are we to judge. He enjoyed threatening people and even had a brief rap career under the name "B.O.B." (Bend over Bitches). At this point I bet some of you think I'm lying so here, I'm going to play/link his hit song Peaches In A Can. He tried to seek help on a few occasions but they told him that generic shit that no one wants to hear and the meds they gave him stopped him from getting erections so he said fuck it. But he's still my homie. He spent his nights crying to love scenes in various movies and everyday him and I would bang this song called "Dance Wiv Me-Dizzee Rascal" and laugh at British people. Don't cry for this nigga cause right now he's in Purgatory listening to Lady Gaga and Fall Out Boy eating Cheese-Strings and Vienna sausage in a can. He wasn't shit, but realer than most, so I'm going to do a line off a hooker's ass tonight. I suggest you all do the same. Peace. 

Recapping the Night: Thank you NBA, once again. 

 Play of the Day:
 Kentucky +2 -110 (W)

 Raptors -1.5 -110 (L)
 Raptors/Bobcats over 198 -110 (L)
 Milwaukee/Boston over 179.5 -110 (L)

 Dayton/Richmond over 125.5 -110 (L)
 Penn St/Ohio St. over 126 -110 (W)

Contact Info:
May the winners be ours. Taking over the world one step at a time. In case you haven't gotten the memo my name is Julius James and I'm the fucking shit.

Sunday, March 13, 2011

Blog Returns Monday.

Recapping the night: 5-4-1

Play of the Day:
Kentucky/Alabama over 129 -110 (W)
Dayton/St Joes over 127.5 -110 (L)

Memphis/UTep over 130.5 -110 (W)
Florida -3 -110 (W)
Dayton -6.5 -110 (L)
Ohio St./Michigan over 128 -110 (W)
Arizona +2.5 -110 (W)
Kent St +0 -110 (L)
U Conn/L'ville over 135 -110 (Push)
Princeton/Harvard over 129.5 -110 (L)

Saturday, March 12, 2011

Reasons I Hate The World.

1) Tokyo has a population of 35.5 million people. 1000 of em lost their lives yesterday but I'm wrong for calling that a blessing in disguise. 

2) Just to put it in perspective, 18,000 people were murdered in Johannesburg last year but you won't find 24 hour news coverage on that.

3) New Orleans looks like shit, the midwest-northeast American Manufacturing belt looks like shit but that dumb Terrorist-Nigga-Cracker president will send loot to Japan.

4) Japan is the 3rd largest economy in the world, they'll be just fine. I could name 10,000 places that won't be though and will never get the sufficient help they need. 

5) Charlie Sheen is still alive (yup I said it) 

6) It's March 12th 2011 and there's still fucking snow on the ground.

7) Being sober fucking blows. Yes I need alcohol to have a good fucking time I admit it, enhances everything and makes the ugly and dumb ones much more tolerable.

8) The NFL owners are being irrational with this 18 games season bullshit.

9) When I asked a chick "how much does her pops make?" her response was " I don't know, how much do people usually make?" She wasn't playing either, dead ass serious. Note to self: If they are born after 1992, show them the door. (she's legal age of consent for any of the feds watching)

10) Justin Bieber is still alive (yup I said it) 

11) Curling and Poker are still prominent prime-time shows shown on various sports networks here in Canada

12) This: My Gay Ass School (this video depicts why we won't amount to shit) 

13) I just watched Cast Away again and was envious. Dude was all happy and shit, had his volleyball, did his thing in "splendid isolation" as my boy likes to call it. Came back to the world and put up with bullshit and more bullshit.

14) Black people still make excuses for why they won't amount to shit by the time they can read and white. (My mommy says the white man had us as slaves so as a consequence of this, I'm going to sell drugs and become a shitty ass rapper) 

15) I had a big play over 121 Wisconsin/Penn St. That shit didn't even hit 70.

16) I know someone who has devoured at least 40 cocks in her lifetime; and she'd still make a better wife/mother than most of the people I know.

17) The fact that I know, deep down in my heart, someone reading this blog would hit this given the chance: A Picture That Depicts My Blog Demographic.

18) I was talking to somebody fairly recently and he said "You and I are about the same size, we discussed this before" when talking about my penis. It's not the fact that we discussed it, I remember how that happened, but I don't even know the measurements of my own dick how the fuck does he remember a drunken convo 3 years ago. 

19) While people are buried under rubble right now trying to get out, someone just miles away is having sex with a robot in a shitty Japanese apartment.

20) Katy Perry just doesn't do it for me anymore, she's fucking wack and annoying. However, if you're a chick and your reading this, chances are you aren't wack and annoying and you could have the pleasure of blowing my penis anytime. Unless you're under the age of 17, over the age of 52 (that's a fair number if you ask me, some hot grandma's need loving too)

Not that it means anything but prayers goes out to the families of those who lost loved once in that Japan shit.

Recapping the Night: I knew this was coming, that Wisconsin game was something else though: 7-10

Plays of the Day:
Northwestern/Ohio St. over 138 -110 (L)
UConn/Syracuse over 135.5 -110 (W)
Wisconsin/Penn St. over 121 -110 (L)

Celtics/Clippers over 190 -110 (L)
Pacers +1 -110 (L)
Jazz +1 -110 (L)

Georgia +0 -110 (L)
Boston College +4 -110 (L)
Michigan +3.5 -110 (W)
Michigan/Illinois over 125 -110 (L)
Tulsa/Texas El-Paso over 133.5 -110 (L)
Michigan St/ Purdue over 130.5 -110 (L)
Akron -2 -110 (W)
Arizona +0 -110 (W)
Kent St./Ball St. over 132 -110 (W)
San Diego St. +0 -110 (W)
Boise St. -2.5 -110 (W)

Contact Info:
May the winners be ours. Taking over the world one step at a time. In case you haven't gotten the memo my name is Julius James and I'm the fucking shit.

Friday, March 11, 2011

The JJ Break-Up Plan

So the time has come, she's wack and you can't stand her anymore and you want to kick her ass to the curb. How do you do it? For the record men aren't supposed to break up with women. You're supposed to do dumb shit until she leaves your ass, men don't refuse the box for anything else. I only broke up with one chick cause she was insane and went through my emails and said she'd kill herself or some dumb shit.  I told her "alright well before you off yourself just know that you're doing that as a single person. Then I told her to listen to this: The Break-Up Song while killing herself" Yet I'll admit, sometimes there is a point of no return and you just have to cut the cord. It isn't easy and requires a lot of thought so here's various steps you could take that would make the process easier: 

For the Asshole- If you use social networks such as facebook just change your status from "in a relationship" to "single." It's the one great thing facebook is good for, you never have to speak to the chick in person. When she asks just tell her "it is what it is" and that's that. If you don't fuck with the social networks then call her or text her " It's over, I found someone else, K Thanks For everything, bye!" People perceive you as an asshole for doing this but why the fuck should you put yourself in a position of awkwardness. If you do it in person then ask yourself, what benefit am I getting from this? Will she suck your dick after you drop the news? No. Will she send you money? No. Will She cook you a hot meal? No. She'll cry and/or get physical. The fuck you putting yourself in that position for, I don't care if you were with her for 40 years, don't place yourself in that gay ass position.

Face to Face- Yet because of societal norms, some of y'all insist on breaking up face to face. If you're an asshole then get some head first. Here's how to successfully break-up with a chick in person. You have a 10 minute window of "numbness" before she starts thinking irrationally and acts on her impulses. When you go to visit her, bring a box of assorted cookies or chocolates. Why? because no one hates this shit, even if they hate one, that shit comes with such a big variety that it's going to comfort her. Drop the news and say "I think I should leave." Get the fuck out. You wack dudes that stay to watch her cry and shit, nah, the fuck can you gain from that. She's already formulated opinions about your ass and hates you, get the fuck out. 

The Golden Treasure- Some of y'all are lucky. She's so insecure or she loves you so much that she'll sink to new levels of desperation. If she starts getting desperate, cash the fuck in. Be realistic, it won't last but at least you get to milk the cow (no pun intended). She might say "no no no please don't" and act like a pathetic ass loser, don't get it twisted, she is a pathetic ass loser but cash in. She'll offer to buy you video games, give you sex on demand, give into a 3some, cook you whatever you want and do shit you wouldn't even hire Mexicans for. Cash in, she'll come to the realization that you aren't shit and you're not worth it and will leave your ass soon enough but at least you benefited from the break-up. 

Recapping the night: 11-9 with a crapload of close games.
Plays of the Day:
Knicks +6 -110 (L)
Syracuse -2 -110 (W)

Lakers/Heat over 188 -110 (L)

Miami/Virginia over 121.5 -110 (W)
Auburn/Georgia over 125 -110 (L)
UConn +5.5 -110 (W)
Syracuse/St. Johns over 135 -110 (W)
Northwestern -1 -110 (W)
Iowa/Michigan St. over 130 -110 (L)
Texas/Oklahoma over 130.5 -110 (L)
Notre Dame -2 -110 (W)
Cincy/Notre Dame over 132 -110 (W)
Penn St. -4 -110 (W)
Penn St/Indiana over 129 -110 (L)
Marshall UTep over 137 -110 (W)
Utah/San Diego St. over 126 -110 (L)
Missouri/Texas A&M over 136.5 -110 (W)
Tulsa -5 -110 (W)
Vanderbelt -13 -110 (L)
Air Force/UNLV over 123.5 -110 (L)

Contact Info:
May the winners be ours. Taking over the world one step at a time. In case you haven't gotten the memo my name is Julius James and I'm the fucking shit.

Thursday, March 10, 2011

Things I Admire About White People

I can no longer watch sports that I have big money on, in its entirety. I could watch a bit but then I start sweating and my heart starts to race so I watch nonsense. Today I was watching Teen Mom and even though it is the gayest show on television, it made me realize why I fuck with most of y'all white people. Here's a list of things I like about the white race:

The Bed Sheets- White people sleep with a regular ass sheet, then a blanket over the regular ass sheet. Blacks are lucky if they got any sheets at all and some of y'all ghetto ass fucks sleep on a mattress with nothing on it. But the white folks had the right idea, those 2 sheets make a big ass difference, it's on some warm and cold scientific shit I can't explain. The sheet and the blanket works and it just makes the night so much better, hotels endorse this idea and it feels fuckin great. 

Brand Names- White people don't fuck with the discounted juice, cookies or chips. They don't fuck with the no-name anything. They buy coke that is fucking made by Coca-Cola, none of that "Equality" or "President's Choice" bullshit. White people buy real chocolate chip cookies, not the shit I get at Giant Tiger. Their bottled water is flavored and they don't get the bootleg chips. They get the chips that are so fucking expensive they got the grooves in em, I think they're called Ruffles. Ya us blacks save a few dollars but you aren't living right until everything in your house is the name brand shit and not the discount crap at the end of the isle. 

The Fact That You Have a Good Chance At Hooking Up With Her Mom- Black women don't cheat as much because of the financial ramifications. But white people cheat all the fucking time. They know if they cheat a few dozen times it won't really matter because they're forgiving ass people. It makes a difference. If you're dating a black chick you have a 0.000000% chance of ever smashing her moms and if you even try then the relationship is over. When dating a white chick you stand a 10% chance at smashing her moms and if you try, she likes you even more and will add you as a friend on facebook. Then you could wank to pics of her in a bikini on family vacations because white women wear whatever the fuck they want to wear.

You Never Have to Ask- When dealing with an ethnic ass chick or whatever the fuck you want to call them, you have to ask before they swallow. If they say no then you have to play the "reassuring ass role" where you make her feel like she's the one for you, then she'll swallow. But white people love that nasty shit. They love to swallow and once she's performing the act, it's already assumed that she'll swallow and therefore you skip the entire process of asking, begging, the awkward pause and the chances of her breaking up with you decreases. 

They Don't Know Shit- Despite being highly educated and hot, white people really don`t know shit. Black people have more common-sense and street smarts. White people are naive to the world and live in a bubble. What does this mean? You tell a black chick that a Comet is coming and you need $1000 to stock up on supplies and she'll kick your ass to the curb. You tell a white person that a Comet is coming and you need $1000 she'll say "oh my God I read about this before, here have $2000." Of course you're going to go spend it on hookers and blow and when she asks about the Comet all you need to tell her is " the trajectory changed and the comet isn't coming so you treated yourself to a mini-vacation and everything is safe."  She won`t even know what trajectory is and will just put her hand on her heart and say "thankfully we're safe, I was so worried." White people got money so they don't care, they're just happy that you're happy and they believe just about anything cause they live in a bubble where they grew up watching the Andy Griffith show, Leave it to Beaver, and The Wonder Years and they think the world is perfect.

Recapping the night: 

Play of the Day:
Knicks +5 -110 (W)
USF/Cincy over 120 -110 (W)


Utah Jazz -1 -110 (W)
OKC + 1.5 -110 (W)
Pacers -1 -105 (L)
Spurs/Pistons over 202 -110 (W)


U Conn -1.5 -110 (W)
UConn/Georgetown over 130 -110 (W)
Nebraska -4 -110 (L)
Rutgers/ St Johns over 129 -110 (L)
Hawaii -1.5 -110 (L)
Oregon -1 -110 (W)
West Virginia -1.5 -110 (L)

Contact Info:
May the winners be ours. Taking over the world one step at a time. In case you haven't gotten the memo my name is Julius James and I'm the fucking shit.