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Wednesday, March 31, 2010

Google, Tell me How My Ass Tastes (Going to be a long one)

Check out the gem I got in my inbox today:

While reviewing your account, we noticed that you are currently displaying Google ads in a manner that is not compliant with our policies. For instance, we found violations of AdSense policies on pages such as . Please note that this URL is an example and that the same violations may exist on other pages of your website. Publishers are not permitted to encourage users to click on Google ads or bring excessive attention to ad units. For example, your site cannot contain phrases such as "click the ads," "support our sponsors," "visit these recommended links," or other similar language that could refer to the Google ads on your site. Please make any necessary changes to your webpages in the next 72 hours.We also suggest that you take the time to review our program policies( to ensure that all of your other pages are in compliance. Once you update your site, we will automatically detect the changes and ad serving will not be affected. If you choose not to make the changes to your account within the next three days, your account will remain active but you will no longer be able to display ads on the site. Please note, however, that we may disable your account if further violations are found in the future.
Thank you for your cooperation.

The Google AdSense Team

Google, suck my big black dick. First of all I feel wronged, greatly. I defended the Jews a while back and and now you (google is owned by jews)  come around and give me this bullshit. C'mon son. You think the $40 or so a month you pay me is enough for me to stop swearing. Google fuck you, you need to fucking grow up, stop being so goddamn fucking childish and come back to me when you fucking realize you're all just a bunch of fucking shitheads and fucking apologize. Fuck you. If you've seen blank spaces all over this page, it's because google is acting like children and taking away their ads. They don't want me to swear, they don't like the content I bring, they don't like their ads being affiliated with me so they are giving me a length of time to clean up my act or they'll kick me out. Google, when I was talking about ads/ wasn't your bum ass program I was talking about real sponsors like Jaktapparel.

Seriously where do these people get off giving me 72 hours to fix my shit. I'll do whatever the fuck I want, google you should know that by now. Your wives will still be staring at me when they pull up at a red light and I'm at the bus stop waiting for the 95. Don't get mad at me because your wives are dreaming of that young, strong pipe and all you're good for is 30 seconds, foreplay included. Google I try to not bite the hand that feeds me but I'm not playing the game by your rules and that $40/month you give me ain't going to hurt me in the slighest. In 72 hours I expect to get an email telling me I've been kicked out of google adsense because I wasn't following the rules. Take those rules and shove them you your ass. I'll fucking cuss when I fucking feel like it and ain't a fucking thing you could do to stop me. Yahoo has the better search engine anyway.

I'm currently in talks with Sports-Interaction, Bodog, and a few dvd/electronic companies and even if those companies decide to stay away from me I'll still find more companies to do business with. Not to mention an offshore casino that loves me to death.  These fucking cunts pay you $40 a month and think they could tell you what the fuck to do. Bitch, on a crazy weekend I spend 5 months of your cash on urine, alone. This isn't going to hurt me. If the people your affiliated with don't like me swearing then get the fuck off my page you faggots. Google's headquarters are located in Mountain View, the San Francisco Bay area...I wonder why??

Recapping the Night:
$100 Inverness -118= Possible return of $185 (W)
$100 AFC Wimbledon +100= Possible return of $200 (L)
$100 Man. Utd +150= Possible return of $250 (L)
$100 Lyon +110= Possible return of $210 (W)
$100 UNC M/L -105= Possible return of $195.24 (W)
$100 Mississippi -105= Possible return of $195.24 (L)
$100 UNC/Rhode Island over 151 -110 (L)
$100 Grand Salami (prop) under 52 (W)

Total Wagered: $800
Total returned: $776.82
Total loss: $23.18
Total Earned to date: 897.56

May the winners be ours. Taking over the world one step at a time. Incase you haven't gotten the memo my name is Julius James and I'm the fucking shit.

Tuesday, March 30, 2010

Solving World Issues.

Amidst me shitting the bed, losing all control and just getting screwed by this gambling shit tonight, one of the world's biggest mysteries has now been solved. It's bigger than solving cancer or aids or wondering how people are born with both a penis and a vagina. It's something no one could have ever imagined. It's bigger than Watergate, 9/11, and Pearl Harbour combined. Today we learned something we would have never discovered in a million years. Ricky Martin revealed that he's a homo. Ricky Martin is gay people how must life go on? Like seriously yahoo, when I go on your page to check scores or stocks, why the fuck are you telling me this shit.

For beginners, the guy's name is Jose Enrique Martin Morales for fucks sake. Am I supposed to lose sleep at the fact that he's an ass-pirate, why the hell do people tell me shit I don't give a damn about? Yahoo, I just wanted to know how much money I lost today why the hell did you have to make my day 10x worse. The guy hasn't had a hit in like 10 years and even when he did people could tell he was getting it up the ass. You know it's bad when you come out with a hit record, win a grammy, and an average fuck like me still gets better tail than you. Ricky Martin really who gives a fuck. Didn't you learn anything from John Amaechi? You revealing your gay won't help you sell any more records. You revealing you're gay won't help you re-start your career and try to make more money. People all over the world hold the same reaction, tell me something I don't know. While you're at it why don't you tell the world that OJ committed killed Nicole and got away with it?

I don't understand why this guy can't just go live in the Canary Islands off the millions he's made and just wait til it's time for him to die. 10 years ago he made some shitty song about chicks living the life and even then we knew this dude wasn't getting no pussy. Now he comes out revealing he's gay and  says he's the happiest guy ever to get it off his chest and he's loving the fact that his kids love and accept him. Bitch, shut the fuck up and choke on a dick. I lost 7 bills today betting on these dumbass teams that make no fucking sense and when I go to check scores I'm forced to see your Mexican looking ass talk about this gay shit that I'm supposed to care about. Go get aids and die.

Recapping the night: Fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck. Google adsense is mad at me but I don't give a fuck today I'm going to swear all I motherfucking want. Somethings in life are in-explainable, yesterday's losses are one of those things. The soccer went fine I was up 100 and everything was setting up good for the night. Then the NCAA begun. Plenty of value in the 9.5 St. Louis was offering but what the fuck they go and lose by 12 and an over that should have covered easily went under by 3 points. Then the Raptors/Bobcats. This motherfucking game had 36 points after one quarter, how the hell it goes over 196 is beyond me. Then the Lakers, could never win on the road but they've always had NO's number. Nope they get blown out. What's worse is this shit was going under all motherfucking game but Phil Jackson/Kobe has too much fucking pride. They start intentional fouling from about 2 mins left to go. They were down about 12 at that point but I seen something like 14 points in the last 1.5 minutes. Eat a fucking dick with crabs. Finally I marked this down as wwin but I'm checking the scores and I'm just flabbergasted. I had the over in the Utah/Knicks game at 213.5. After the first quarter the score is 30-44. 74 fucking points scored in the first quarter I'm thinking finally, I get a W on the board. Now guess how many points were scored in the 4th.....27. 27 fucking points scored in the 4th combined. Unreal, the gambling world owes me picks posted throughout the day....let's calculate the damage:


$100 Pirin Blaoevgrad -120= Possible return of $183.33 (L)
$100 Timisoara -110= Possible return of $190.91 (L)
$100 Banik Ostrava +110= Possible return of $210 (W)
$100 Lehavre +110 = Possible return of $210 (W)
$100 Newcaste United -150= Possible return of $166.67 (W)
$100 Manchester City -300= Possible return of $133.33 (W)
$100 Raptors/Bobcats under 196 (L)
$100 Utah Jazz/Knicks over 213.5 (L)
$100 Lakers -6 (L)
$100 Lakers/Hornets under 201.5 (L)
$300 St Louis +9.5 (L)
$100 St Lous/VA Commonwealth over 128 (L)

Total Wagered: $1400
Total Returned: $720
Total Loss: $680
Total made to date: $920.74

May the winners be ours. Taking over the world one step at a time. Incase you haven't gotten the memo my name is Julius James and I'm the fucking shit.

Monday, March 29, 2010

White People Can Jump

When God made black folks he had a few things on his mind. He didn't want to give the girls real hair, forcing them to use horse-hair (weave). He made sure they had big cocks (no homo) to get the white girls. He made sure they had great dancing skills because they surely weren't going to get girls based on their bank accounts. Finally, he made sure they were good at sports, particularly basketball. White people are better at everything else. They got nice homes, live in the suburbs where there is always a neighbourhood watch and they stay protected in their homes with an alarm system. The one thing they didn't have that us black folks could shove in their face was basketball, until now.

While white people were out getting degrees and working part time jobs, the black folks said fuck that, I'll stay on welfare, have 3 kids that I'll never care for, and play basketball. Yet things took a turn for the worse on Sunday night. We even gave them basketball. For those that don't know the Duke Blue Devils are a predominantly white team. A school in Durham, North Carolina with an excellent medical reputation, the black kids can't dick around in places like these. So when black basketball players get recruited, they go to schools like Kansas, Kentucky, and Tennessee, schools where they don't give a fuck about academics and as long as you know how to play basketball everything will be fine. You could go around campus starting brawls, like the Kansas basketball team did earlier this season. Or you can drive around campus drunk with guns and weed like 4 Tennessee basketball players were found earlier in the year. Now, for this year's march madness, the white people have won.. They beat us in fucking basketball, the one thing we were great at.

Sure Michigan St, Butler, and West Virgina remain but things just aren't the same. Duke is filled with white boys who shoot 3s and do what it takes to win. The black schools, now eliminated all have a bunch of hood negros who like to dance on the court, smoke weed and use the status they have to break the law and get away with it. They don't "try" at basketball, most of them are naturally talented. Yet they all got eliminated before Duke. In the future, what am I supposed to tell my kid when he tells me he wants to be the next Prime Minister/President. I had the intention of telling him he should light up the spliff and don't goto class because he's going to be the next Tyler Smith, John Wall, or Demarcus Cousins. Now I'll have to tell my son that he has to goto class, do his homework and stay away from drugs because we don't even have basketball going for us anymore and soon we'll have to start finding real jobs. Thank you very much society, do you have any idea how hard it is to tell a kid that they have to try in order to be successful?

Recapping the Night: Successful Sunday.


$100 Lorient -105= Possible return of $190 (W)
$100 Fiorentina -138= Possible return of $172.73 (W)
$100 Kavala +175= Possible return of $275 (L)
$100 Iraklis +115= Possible return of $215 (W)
$100 Tavriya +130= Possible return of $230 (W)
$100 Chicago +2 (W)
$100 Suns/T-Wolves over 228 (L)
$100 Portland +4.5 (W)
$200 Duke -5 (W)
$200 Tennessee -1.5 (L)

Total Wagered: $1200

Total Returned: $1517.37
Total Profit: $371.37

Total Earned to Date: $1600.74

May the winners be ours. Taking over the world one step at a time. Incase you haven't gotten the memo my name is Julius James and I'm the fucking shit.

Sunday, March 28, 2010

I'm Telling On Myself

Today I hooked up with a chick well above the threshold of chicks i should be banging. You know the few where you think to yourself, no way a dude like me should be plowing a chick like this, she's too good. Then you realize the effects of alcohol. Being a bartender it's fairly easy to pick up chicks if you have a little game, look just the slighest attractive and give them exactly what they asked for when they're ordering drinks. The only way to make sure you've sealed the deal is something we called the "Wait for You" stage. Almost all events and venues that serve liquor I have a partner. We each have the exact same drinks, he takes one side of the bar, I take the other and we do our job. The " Wait For You" stage is when your side of the bar is busy cause 5-10 people all want to do shots together and the next side is empty. Yet the chick at the back of the line is waiting for you because she "likes the way you pour her drinks." I've been a bartender for a few years now and every event there are always multiple chicks that would wait for you to serve them.

Today I had this chick waiting for me to serve her. The whole night I'm contemplating if I should hit it or not. I notice the ring on her finger ( she has a fiancee golfing in Scottsdale) and at the end of the night when she tells me she lives just across the street, I knew where I was going. Only one problem, at that stage of the night she was looking like the girl in today's display picture. She was ordering vodkas with cranberry and a splash of orange juice on top all night and I guess after a while the drinks added up. I didn't purposely pour her drinks heavy or anything like that she just got real tipsy. Needless to say, I still tapped it.

That's my confession. I tapped a drunk girl I probably wouldn't have hooked up with if she was sober. Government, I'm warning you now, y'all need to get on this and make laws preventing this from happening. If it's illegal to sleep with a drunk girl despite her giving consent then have no fear this blog will be deleted. I'm too pretty to go to jail. Tomorrow she'll wake up, try to get out of bed and realize every step she takes is followed with a high intensity of pain. When her man comes home he'll be wondering why is it so wide. Was it my fault the chick got so drunk she needed me to help her stand? Fuck no, hoes you need to realize the dangers of alcohols. I'm begging the LCBO to put warning labels on their bottles. Warning: May come with 9 inches and excruciating pain the 12 hours after consumption.

Recapping the Night: Sorry about the Mir pick, just was wrong with my inside info, we'll get her back:


$200 Kentucky -4 (L)
$200 Butler +4 (W)
$50 Dallas/Houston tie +220 (W)
$50 Chicago/New York tie +220 (L)
$50 KC/DC tie +225 (L)
$50 San Jose/Real Salt lake tie +220 (L)
$50 LA/New England tie +220 (L)
$300 Frank Mir -150= Possible return of $500 (L)

Total Wagered: $950
Total returned: $548.82
Total loss: 408.18
Total Gained to Date: $1229.57

May the winners be ours. Taking over the world one step at a time. Incase you haven't gotten the memo my name is Julius James and I'm the fucking shit.

Saturday, March 27, 2010

No Entry Today

Im trying to get back onto the online poker scene. I entered one of those 6000 people tourneys for $1000 bucks. I placed 4th but that motherfucker took like 5 hours. It's 4am, I'm going to bed, and when I wake up I'm going to watch March Madness and then I got work (yes I work a real job, I think) So basically I have no time for you degenerates. I'll post picks in the morning. And G&H has been up for 3 months exactly today, glad the internet hasn't shut me down yet. We return Sunday.

Recapping The Night: For fuck sakes. I won the "GIC" pick and I made sure I got it out on time but fuck sakes if the Bucks hit that 3 we are in a world of trouble. Dwayne Wade has a dumb habit of playing Harlem Globtrotter basketball and turning the ball over.

$50 Chivas Usa/Colorado tie= Possible Return of $170 (L)

$100 Lakers -1 (L)
$100 Denver -3.5 (L)
$100 Utah -5 (L)
$100 Detroit +1.5 (L)
$100 Cleveland -1 (L)
$100 Michigan St. -1 (W)
$100 Ohio St. -4.5 (L)
$100 Duke -8.5 (W)
$1000 in game- Miami Heat -10.5 -120 (W)
Total Wagered: $1850
Total Returned: $2215.15
Total Profit: $365.15
Total Made to Date: $1637.75

Friday, March 26, 2010

Heat in Game -10.5 1000 down

read the title 5:57 left... hit it hard bucks are tired.

Getting Conned by A Kid With Autism: Priceless.

I'm not sure if you guys have heard but there's a 17 year old teen with Autism who had a perfect bracket after rounds 1 and 2 in NCAA March Madness. The odds? 1 in 13 million. The kid had Purdue winning the entire tourney, so being the degenerate I am, I sprinkle just a little on Purdue to win the entire thing. I thought it was God giving me a message. Autistic kids have proven that they're smarter than the rest of us. There was that high school basketball team manager who had autism. He came on the court for the team's final game and drained 6 three-pointers and had 20 points in less than a quarter. There are always these kids with autism who are in University at like age 14 and considered brilliant. For the most part they share specific qualities that that give them a true "gift" to have a different perspective and it isn't just a word we give to them to make them feel special.

So you hear about this kid who has the perfect NCAA bracket and you're looking at your shitty bracket thinking damn I wish this dude handled all of my gambling. It was a great story until today. I find out this kid, though his parents deny it, is full of shit. Not just dog shit, or goat shit, he's filled with that nasty Biggest Loser Contestant shit. You know the dude who eats like 6000 cals a day and claims he doesn't know how he gained the weight, that sort of shit. This motherfucker made me lay it down on Purdue and it appears as though it's all a lie. The CBS bracket which he filled out, was not one of those "for-money" brackets instead it was a "for fun" bracket mostly used by bookies to keep track of things. What this means is that the kid could change his picks before and after every game. CBS' bracket manager allows the one who is running the pool, in this case autistic boy's brother to change picks even after the result. The family however is insisting that nothing was changed.

The boy is a Cubs fan, needless to say no one should believe his ass. I just got conned by a dude with autism. If it was impossible to change a bracket, I'd be more inclined on believing this story but 1 in 13 million? C'mon Son you are not that special. Instead of making this issue any bigger than it is why don't you come out and state the truth. It ain't like your parents built a balloon, launched it and said you were inside. I thought the lowest point in my life was the one time I religiously cheered on the Canadians Men National Soccer Team but this tops it.  I wonder if I could trick the world like this boy did If I had autism. For my next birthday, when I blow out the candles and make a wish, I'm going to wish for autism. When someone asks me what I want for Christmas, it'll be autism. You can't go wrong in a world where everyone believes everything you say.

Recapping The Night:

$50 Seattle Sounders/Philly Union draw +260= Possible return of $180 (L)

$100 Miami Heat +1.5 -110 (W)
NCAA: (all bets -110)
$200 Syracuse -6 (L)
$100 Kansas St. -4.5 (W)
$100 Syracuse/Butler over 138 (L)
$100 Kentucky -8.5 (W)
$100 Washington +4.5 (L)

Total Wagered: $750

Total Returned: 572.73
Total Loss: $177.27
Total Earned to Late: $1272.60

May the winners be ours. Taking over the world one step at a time. Incase you haven't gotten the memo my name is Julius James and I'm the fucking shit.

Thursday, March 25, 2010

They've Done It Again

Congrats TLC, you've earned another entry on the blog. It's 3pm and I'm losing a shitload of money and my former lady friend refuses to get on skype these days so I'm reduced to watching whatever is on tv. Once again, UK wifeswap is showing a re-run so I start flicking before I land on TLC. The show? 19 and counting. It's a reality show about a 2 people who have have 19 kids and they all live in this big ass house and live happily ever after. Before I start talking about the show let's talk about the lady who has had 19 kids. Doing a little math she's had 19 kids x 9 months of pregnancy /12 months in a year,  this bitch has been pregnant for 14 years and 3 months. What the fuck? How could people live like that. Another thing I'd like to know is what the hell does her vagina looks like? I'm sure after 19 kids you could fit like 12 Asians in that thing, put up dividers and rent it out.

But back to the show, my attention span is pretty low so I only gave it 14 minutes but why the hell would anyone watch this shit. They are Conservative Christians and have the most fucked up ideology I've ever witnessed. There kids aren't allowed to date and everything requires the parents permission. All meetings must involve a chaperone and in order for the older kids to get married they got to ask the parents permission. Could someone tell these clowns we aren't in Dubai. I love God just as much as the next person but he isn't going to get mad if you light a spliff here and there or get head from some drunk teen at a party. This family, for the 14 minutes I watched stressed perfection. They spoke in a light tone, never stopped smiling and didn't go 30 seconds without preaching about God. Chick, you've had 19 fucking kids and your pussy is probably out of commission, you're entitled to vent some rage. After 19 kids I wouldn't sit around in a circle talking about how amazing Noah was for saving animals I'd be hitting the Absolut every minute of every day.

Reality television is supposed to display some sense of reality. It's supposed to encompass some form of life that has a "reality" aspect. There should be something involved that has no script, no prompt, no "right way to act." This shit was faker than Michael Jackson's nose. The typical family doesn't sit around in circles every night talking about how great the world is. The typical family consists of the kids doing fucked up shit and parents beating their asses. Where were the cusswords? The drugs and alcohol? The sex? The midget that likes to have broom handles stuck up his ass...wait nevermind was thinking of something else. But that shit is not real yet somehow people are tuning in. I've never been annoyed by the perception of perfection as I was when I was watching that crappy television show. Surely the father probably hangs out at queer bars when the cameras aren't rolling. The mother probably has some weird fetish where people pay her to stick their heads in her vagina. Where's the drama? TLC once again you've contributed to fucking up television by showing these gay ass Conservative Christians, why couldn't you be like fox and show real reality tv, Who Wants to Marry a Homeless Hermaphrodite?

Recapping the Night:
NBA: (all bets -110 unless otherwise noted)

$100 Orlando Magic M/L +100= Possible Return of $200 (L)
$100 LA Lakers M/L +110= Possible return of $210 (W)
$100 Memphis -1.5 (L)
$100 Cleveland -5.5 (W)
$100 Sacramento -1.5 (L)
$100 Utah -3.5 (W)
$300 GS/Grizzlies over 232 (W)
$100 Sigma Olomouc +110= Possible return of $210 (L)
$200 Dukla Banska -200= Possible return of $300 (L)
$100 FC Basel -150= Possible return of $166.67 (W)
$100 Cardiff -110= Possible return of $190.91 (L)
$100 Man City +110= Possible return of $210 (L)
$300 Aston Villa -162= Possible return of $484.62 (L)
$200 Valencia -225= Possible return of $288.89 (W)
$20 Hadjuk Split +475= Possible return of $115 (L)
$100 Rhode Island/Virginia Tech under 145.5 (L)
$100 Dayton/Illinois over 131 (W)
$100 Illinois -3 (L)
$300 Princeton/St. Louis over 106 (W)

Total Wagered: $2620
Total Returned: $2383.75
Total Loss: 236.25
Total Earned to Date: $1449.87

May the winners be ours. Taking over the world one step at a time. Incase you haven't gotten the memo my name is Julius James and I'm the fucking shit.

Wednesday, March 24, 2010

What The Hell Is Wrong With Society

Apologize in advance for the lack of the ignorant shit but today's entry will have a more serious tone. I woke up late and was in a real shitty mood but I read something courtesy of yahoo that changed my day. 8 children were brutally stabbed at a school in China by some freak. Before I start I'll say this. I have nothing to complain about. My typical "terrible" day involves me getting some terrible grade, losing some money, missing out on a booty call or watching the Yanks or Manchester United lose. That's pretty much as bad as it gets for me. I could only imagine what it's like for a mother who just dropped her child off at school see the unthinkable image of her child being murdered by the hands of someone whose only purpose is to slash a child's throat.

I won't limit this to a geographical region because it happens everywhere in the world but why the hell is it that anytime something catastrophic happens they offer an explanation but never a solution. "The suspect had a history of mental illness" So why the hell is he walking out and about on the streets and why the hell is he near a school. This guy should have been locked up in a mental institute somewhere and left there for the rest of his life. Ideally, I wish he spends every single minute of every day in some sort of solitary confinement but I'm not one to judge, the damage is already done and there are now 8 children who will not get to see this world or live up to their full potential. Parents who will never see their children again have to live with this pain in their hearts while some dude who was apparently "mentally ill" will get off with a slap on the wrist in some mental institution.

This unfortunate event has made me realize that I don't do enough. I have everything in the world and more yet I know I'm guilty of taking it for granted. I've decided to sponsor a child. Normally I wouldn't mention this but 100% of the money generated thus far from this blog and a portion from my own pocket will be going to sponsor Alexander Lester Guardados. An 11 year old boy from Guatemala (hopefully the next Ronaldo or Messi) the child has had a tough upbringing and with the help of y'all we've just made it somewhat easier for him. Here's a portion from what I was told: One day, his mother and stepfather told him they wanted to take him for a walk. They drove to the outskirts of the city and parked the car. They then sent Lester to a nearby store to buy some snacks. When the boy emerged from the store, the car and his parents were gone. Lester’s parents were eventually identified and summoned to court. When Lester saw them, he pulled away from them. During the court proceedings it was discovered that Lester had been abused at home. The boy told the court that his parents had kept him tied up in a dark room. They would occasionally throw him scraps of bread. There were also visible signs of physical abuse.

Of course the cynical side of me says this could all be BS and I'm just giving it all to some rich slob in Florida but they've provided a tonne of info, are a legit organization and if someone wants to take a monthly sum of cash from me and lie about it then they obviously need it more than I do. I'd provide updates on Alexander but I accidently misspelled my email when I was filling out the form. Whatever I get in the mail I'll share with y'all. Thanks to everyone who views this page, the sponsors, and the people who spread the world, this was made possible because of you!
Recapping the Night: I don't know why I didn't do this earlier but here are the stats:
$150 Ancona +105 = Possible return of $307.5 (L)

$100 Empoli +100= Possible return of $200 (W)
$100 Dumfermline -133= Possible return of $175 (L)
$150 Cowdenbeath -200= Possible return of $225 (W)
$100 Denver Nuggets -6 (L)
$100 Indiana +4 (W)
$100 Pacers/Pistons under 206.5 (W)
$100 Texas Tech +9 (W)
$100 UNC +5 (W)
Total Wagered: $1000
Total Returned:$1188.64

Total Profit: $188.64
Total Generated Thus Far: $1686.42
May the winners be ours. Taking over the world one step at a time. Incase you haven't gotten the memo my name is Julius James and I'm the fucking shit.

Tuesday, March 23, 2010

My Open Letter To Canada

Dear Canada,

You know for the last 2 decades I've been on this earth I have always thought you were lame. You gave me hockey ( something I really don't care for), Celine Dion (someone who is missing the full package) and Corey Haim (look at what happened to him) You let the Tamils run on the highway to protest in an effort to save a globally recognized terror organization, the Tamil Tigers. You rape me every single time I go and pay for a pint yet I know those just 90km south are paying 50% less than I pay when it comes to booze. You fought your fucking ass off and gave your own children for the benefit of another fucking continent, twice, (Europe) and you still let those faggots in speedos walk all over you.

However, today I'm here to take back all of these things. I'm here to accept Brent Butt. As lame as that fucker is, I'll always cherish him (no homo) I'm here to tell you today Mrs. Canada that I love Elisha Cuthbert and 10 minutes with her, she'll never be able to stand up straight again. From the hicks in Newfounland to the stoners in Vancouver I love each and every one of your children. Even the cunts over in Quebec that are always wanting to seperate. They don't love you like I do. You may be a cold ass country with nothing to look forward to but hockey and Tim Hortons but it's okay. The only reason the rest of the world likes you is because you have all those glaciers so when Global warming starts fucking people over they can come to you and beg for water. Everyone laughed at you but I'm here today to defend you.

When that motherfucking tax-man told me you were giving me 11 cheques because of GST,HST and another refund I probably didn't deserve, how could I have been mad at you? You're the only country that would allow me to sit on my ass all day and gamble and wank and pay me for it. When I feel like going to school, I go and even then you make others pay 65% of that too. How could I complain. Tomorrow I'll wake up at 10:41 am, take a piss, brush my teeth and turn on the tv to TBS for the Cosby Show and  you'll have Revenue Canada send me a cheque in 5 business days because of your unconditional love. I had to sit back and think when the accountant broke the news that I was going to get back so much money. I thought about the fact that I haven't worked an honest hour in the last year. Most of the shit I buy is bought in the States and most of my day is spent doing unproductive shit over the internet. Why the heck was I getting money? Then I realized, why the fuck does it matter how I got the money. Canada, I've done nothing to earn it but just keep in mind, I love you and take back all the hurtful things I've ever said about you. I'll root the hell out of that hockey team in 2014, EH-OH-CANADA-GO.

Recapping the Night: Yikes it boiled down to the Suns game and I was on the wrong end of things. Since when does Steve Nash miss freethrows. I also don't care whose playing but if I see a 244 O/U in a 48 minute basketball game, I'm taking the under every single time. We lost $80.41 on the night giving us an overall total of $1497.78.

May the winners be ours. Taking over the world one step at a time. Incase you haven't gotten the memo my name is Julius James and I'm the fucking shit.

Monday, March 22, 2010

Gotta Give Credit Where Credit Is Due

I'd like to spend this column congratulating the University of Toronto for a job well done in its manipulation of retards. For those that don't know my school recently held a referendum as to whether or not the students should pay for the new Aquatic Facility that will Host the Pan Am games. Before I get into it, I'd just like to ask...what the fuck are the Pan Am games? When in NYC I always stay at the Pan American hotel and all I see are a bunch of Mexicans and wannabe Mexicans (yes there is such a thing). So are the Pan Am games basically the Olympics for people who are Mexicans. Why the fuck is Toronto hosting this shit. Anyways I forgot this was supposed to be a congratulatory response. For the past 3 years the University of Toronto has been hyping up the bid for these Mexican Olympics. It turns out, Toronto won its bid. Let me ask you this, when you're competition is Bogota, Colombia and Lima, Peru did you really win anything? Toronto or Peru or Colombia....yup I really had to bust my balls to pick the winner.

Now, they promised a new "Aquatic Centre" to these Mexican athletes who are going to come over here in 2015 to mow our lawns, I mean compete. Now, faced with a bill high into the hundreds of millions of dollars, the Universtiy basically said, fuck you we ain't paying for this shit. Fuck the Mexicans. They wanted to make sure the students were paying for it, not the University. So some students said no, it went to a referendum and of course the Students have agreed to pay for this Mexican pool that supposedly costs millions of dollars. It's fucking criminal that a highly recognized institution like the University of Toronto could exploit the 1400 retards that voted yes. A) You won't fucking be in school in 2015 so it ain't like you're ever going to use the piece of shit facilities. B) The fucking city won the bid do you not think they have a "plan B" as to who is going to pay for it. If you say NO, the Pan Am Games still continue you bunch of fucking pansies. I'm loving the fact that interest on student fees have increased, for those that can't afford this shit I hope you graduate university and you're slammed with debt to the point you spend the rest of your shitty lives serving fries at McDonalds making minimum payments on your debt.

So starting next year, I have to pay $80 a year on top of my tuition so the Mexicans have a pool when they come over in 2015. Rest assured, I'll get my justice. I'm going to leave traces of my unborn kids all over that fucking pool, the changeroom, the bathrooms, the showers, every student that enters that fucking piece of shit facility will be forced to interact with my fucking sperm at one point or another. If I'm paying for that overpriced, piece of shit for Mexican athletes then rest assured I'm doing what I want with it. Once that shit gets build in 2013, it should be named, the Next Black President because that's exactly what's going to be littered all over the fucking place. Students have no concept of value or money management, they just spend spend spend and once they step into the "real world" they get raped up the ass harder than what does on in a prison shower. The campus is filled with Chinese and Indians who can't speak a word of fucking english but were probably forced to vote yes. It's all good when the time comes I'll make sure every kid who voted yes will have so much of my unborn kids in their system there will be a spike in the black population in the city of Toronto.

Recapping the Night: Slaughtered. 10-6 and I finally crossed the $1300 mark. We wagered $1650 to start the day, came back with $1985.64. A profit on the night of $335.64. That gives us a cumulative total of $1578.19

May the winners be ours. Taking over the world one step at a time. Incase you haven't gotten the memo my name is Julius James and I'm the fucking shit.

Sunday, March 21, 2010

Russia, The Country Where Winners Are Born

The Winter Olympics were about Nationalism and Unity. Despite Visa making sure that everyone who purchased anything had a visa and the countless sponsors, ads etc. the Olympics weren't about money. They were about the pride we should have in our athletes and the feeling of joy we should have in our hearts everytime our Nation is participating in something. Alright, enough with the gay shit. The Olympics were a big waste of fucking time however one thing stood out, the constant complaining from the Russians. Russian athletes were complaining that were scared to eat the food prepared at the Athletes Village because they believed it was tainted. Russian coaches were complaining about the unfair times given to their athletes for training and felt Canada was fucking shit up. They even drew comparisons to the games that Hitler ran. It was complete commotion.

Then Russia decided to use a different strategy. They decided to call out their own athletes because plain and simple, they sucked harder than a Tori Black film. Russia was worse than Jose Calderon's defence, Toronto FC's strikers and the New Jersey Nets inside presence combined. However, it was a case of too little too late, you can threathen someone's family all you want but if they are just complete shit then you won't get the results you desired. However, I'm pleased today to announce that Russia is back on the top of things. With 30 medals, 7 more than 2nd place, Russia leads the total medal tally at the Paralympic Games. Give yourselves a pat on the back Russia you have the greatest retarded athletes out of any other nation.

For a country that exhausted itself moaning and bitching about Canada for 3 weeks because you straight up sucked ass isn't it great to finally win. Aren't you happy Russia that you train the "challenged" ones to become winners. I don't know about you but I was just glued on to my tv when paralympic snowboarding was taking place. Or how about that sledgehockey, such an amazing sport I just can't wait to go out and play sledgehockey. The paralympic games are so amazing I wish they were on 5x a year, every year. Russia, you should have taken a page out of Canada's book and just admitted you suck. No one's going to fault you for it, you live shitty ass lives in the middle of nowhere, most of your women are ass ugly and the ones that are hot all sound like Shaq. When the Paralympians come home with the 30+ medals throw a big ass parade and talk about how great you are. Then go home and wank each other you ungrateful little pansies. The only ones allowed to make fun of Canada are Canadians and their strong handsome brother down south, the Mexicans.

Recapping the Night: Blah, a half point here and a half point there would have made this day MUCH better. Yet who am I to complain any day of profit is a good day. Left the house with $1450, came back with $1600.46, that gives us a daily total profit of  $150.46. Overall we're sitting at $1393.01. Picks coming up throughout the day and as you already know by now, if we're having a shitty day look out for the GIC pick.

May the winners be ours. Taking over the world one step at a time. Incase you haven't gotten the memo my name is Julius James and I'm the fucking shit.

Saturday, March 20, 2010

The Gay Tendencies Are Coming Out Again

Once again I've come to realize that society is all a step away from being a bunch of gays. I've spoke on this before but it just has to be said again. Let's start with March Madness. 65 teams playing for a shot at the National Championship and only 12 or so have a realistic chance at winning. Yes, there were many first round upsets but teams like Ohio and Cornell don't stand a chance to win. So now you have athletes who get paid nothing giving it their all. It's the first round of games what the fuck are you crying for? Like seriously I could understand if it were the Sweet 16 and you were a Senior and you lost in a close fought back and forth game. But it's the first round of games and I see a dude from Wofford (ya there's a fucking school called Wofford) and dude is crying louder than a junior kindergarden classroom on the first day of school. Negro get your black ass up go steal and sell drugs like everybody else you're from fucking Wofford it ain't like you were going to win anyway. Be thankful you could use you "athlete" status to get some tail.

Of course now the weather is nice the layers are starting to come off and the tits and ass are looking nice. Parents are still being irresponsible and letting their boys wear size 1 skinny jeans. However I'm starting to notice a new faggot trend, men in capris. This shit is better known as manpris. What the fuck is this shit we ain't in Barcelona or France where everyone gets bummed up the ass speedos and manpris and shit like that have no place in North America. If you want to wear this shit goto Europe where fags are "trendy". This isn't about creativity or a new sense of fashion these are about men who deny being gay yet they are a step away from being bummed.

Then you got a new trend which is starting to take shape in society. Jesse James recently cheated on Sandra Bullock with a tattoo model. Dude, why the fuck don't you just admit your gay already and start taking it up the ass. You left your beautiful wife for Bif Naked on meth. Same shit with Tiger Woods he left his sexy Swedish wife who was probably giving him pussy on demand for lama looking old ass british ladies. If you're going to cheat at least have the decency with to do it with someone that is a step-up from your wife. Now that the side-chicks are getting more and more ugly it's only a matter of time before they all start doing it with men and use the excuse, we aren't gay we just wanted to explore another body. Fuck off you bunch of twisted fags, if you leave Sandra Bullock for a Bif Naked looking ass freak then you're gay as those 2 fags in Brokeback Mountain. Notice how one's dead and the other was never heard from again after that movie came out, it's only a sign. God hates Fags.

Recapping the Night. I've calculated this shit at least 6x and it turns out we didn't lose or gain a thing. The GIC pick came through in what was turning out to be a terrible 5-10 day. I woke up late today so no soccer but we'll hit the bball hard and hopefully we don't have to use a GIC pick today because one day we're going to get screwed.

May the winners be ours. Taking over the world one step at a time. Incase you haven't gotten the memo my name is Julius James and I'm the fucking shit.

Friday, March 19, 2010


L'ville Cal under 149.5 11:35am

throw 6 bills down.

12:26am......check the score. Thank me later. I erase a shitty day.

To Serve and Piss People Off

Everybody has one group of people who they just hate. It could be a racial group (fucking racists), it could be a group specified by ages (old people), or it would be a group of people who all work the same job. At the end of the day you just hate the fuck out of these people and see no good in them and wish they'd fall off the Grand Canyon and land straight on a cactus stuck high up their ass. Or maybe that's just my sick, sadistic mind. Reflecting on any time in my life where I have been considered a trouble-maker, it all boils down to fucking Security Guards. These toy cops who have nothing better to do but  have caused some major grief in my life because the only interaction they have with people is due to the fact they look like cops.

Security guards, eat a dick. You serve no real purpose in life. At least cops serve a great purpose in this world. When your drunk without any money they'll drive your ass home and when your stuck at the side of the rode they'll help change your tires. What the fuck does a security guard do? Sits there for 8 hours and dreams about girls he'll never sleep with and when he gets bored he'll pop one off in the bathroom. Then when a drunk arrogant fuck like me comes along they'll try to enforce the zero authority they hold on me and that's when shit gets ugly. I was recently given a banning pass to an elementry school (no I'm not a pedo) because I was pounding a pint back as I was walking home at like 2am. I cut through the back of the elementry school to get to my house but some toy cop motherfucker with a flashlight and handcuffs wants to show me how tough he is. " Listen Asshole I could have you arrested but because it's 2am I'll issue you a notice of trespassing. You enter this property again and you're going to jail." Then he hands me a yellow paper.Why don't you suck my ashy cock you John Candy fat as a whale looking motherfucker.

This chances of this guy getting laid is about the same as the Leafs winning the Stanley Cup this year. His right hand must have an imprint of his cock. These dudes are  two months away from playing bingo at a senior citizen home yet because they have that gay little uniform they think they could talk to people in whichever way they please. I don't like to knock people making a living but when your job consists of you sitting down at a desk with a flashlight and handcuffs every single day for the rest of your fucking life do you really have to drag down other people with yo?. Why not search the craigslist romantic encounters section and buy yourself some pussy from time to time. Security guards your a step up from Mexican landscapers, pipe down and just beat off in the dark somewhere instead of harrassing my life and everybody else because you have a light blue uniform and a fake ass badge. You're not fooling anyone, collect your $9.45/hr and be thankful your not working as a male prostitute.

Recapping the Night: Finally, it feels good to win three figures again. I don't know how long this will last but I'm going to beat the board again tomorrow so stay tuned. Last night we had $1300 wagered and came back to the house with $1527.28. That gives us a daily total of $227.28 and an overall total of $1242.55.  Stay tuned, another busy day tomorrow.

May the winners be ours. Taking over the world one step at a time. Incase you haven't gotten the memo my name is Julius James and I'm the fucking shit.

Thursday, March 18, 2010

Leave Me The Hell Alone

I'm at a bar (suprise, suprise) and I'm trying to take a leak. I'm pretty hammered and when in that state of mind I just like to be left alone. So I unzip the fly, roll out the 9 inches of magic and I start to do my thing. All of a sudden I start hearing sirens and this guy yelling at me so I'm thinking its a cop and I jump and piss all over the floor. I was half-asleep at the time but that shit woke me right up. It wasn't a cop, for fuck sakes it wasn't even a person. It was the monitor in front of my face, just above the urinal displaying ads. Technology, what the fuck. Every single day of my life I'm bombarded with ads whether it be on the bus, on the television, hell even when I visit my own site. (please support the ones on here, they're better) However, now I don't even get the privacy to piss in a fucking bathroom without getting bombarded by people trying to sell me shit I'll never fucking buy. No, eat a dick I don't want your fucking security system I live in Scarborough for fuck sakes what will they take, my white tees and my new era fitted?

I got no problem with certain ads because hell they even pay me for blogging. However, there are some techniques that just don't fucking work and companies need to realize that these ways are not effective. While taking a piss or beating off in a public bathroom, no one is going to view an ad in its entirety or think hey what the fuck I need a security system let me re-watch this ad just above the urinal. When I'm trying to beat off to Latin Lover or any other cable late night television show (usually on Showcase) I'm not interested in seeking ways to lower my car insurance. The worst fucking ads is when your trying to watch a Serie A game on TLN and they change the screen to Bad Boy furniture. Fuck those hepatitis disease carrying homos that ruined the fucking city. People who buy into this shit need to be taken out back and given the " Old-Yeller" treatment.

However because it's 2010 and people for one reason or another have gotten more stupid, companies are finding new ways to trap the dumbasses in our world. Infomercials meant shit back in the day because they were filled with hidden costs and the shit they were selling were never as good as they once appeared to be. Now infomercials are reaping the rewards because they have people like Billy Mays (RIP) and Vince the Shamwow Guy (soon to be RIP) doing their ads. One was a coked up loser from the south and the other is an inbred-looking hooker craving motherfucker that sleeps with chicks that would have to pay me in order to fuck (that says a lot). Vince the Shamwow guy was recently arrested because he bit some hooker in a hotel room and to be entirely honest I rather bang a Paralympic athlete than to bang a hooker like that. However, because half the world is "challenged" he's making millions of dollars selling shit that could be substituted with Bounty Paper Towels. With that said, please click my ads!

Recapping the Night: I must say that venting that hate felt good today. I was pissed off with the result of the Raptor game, those fuckers stole it. However my "GIC" picks have been coming through when needed and maybe my luck will change. We wagered $950 and came back with profit of $63.64. I intend on hitting the board hard with all the March Madness. Can't wait for noon. Overall the total we're earned to date is $1015. 27

May the winners be ours. Taking over the world one step at a time. Incase you haven't gotten the memo my name is Julius James and I'm the fucking shit.

Wednesday, March 17, 2010

100 Things.... Part 2

Enjoy the pic it's from my personal collection. Before I get into it I'd like to point out we finally have real, true fucking sponsors and not the bitch ass cunts that tried to tell me how to run my shit. Visit they got some pretty cool gear especially if you like MMA.

My entry yesterday was suprisingly one of my most famous ones, most of you really loved it. As promised here are the other 50 things about me you probably didn't know before:

50) I have a big collections of Trolls.

49) I've burst out laughing at a funeral and caused a scene
48) Best Rapper of All of Time: Notorious BIG
47) Best Band of all time: Oasis
46) Growing up, I scanned my report card/changed the grades at least 6x
45) If I have any say, If I ever have a son his first name will be Fidel
44) I cried during ET ( I was 6 I think)
43) I've done more than a few prostitutes in the past
42) The classiest restaurant I have ever eaten in is probably Moxies Bar and Grill
41) I think Rajon Rondo is better than Kobe/Lebron combined
40) Tom Brady over Peyton Manning any day of the week
39) I've used the death of my Grandmother to get out of school/work at least 7x in my life
38) I've never held a 9-5 job in my life for longer than 3 months
37) I'd sleep with Linda Mcmahon
36) I've busted a nut to Kelly Ripa more than any other chick I could think of
35) I think the war in Iraq was/is justified
34) I'm losing my fucking hair
33) I've popped one off to Annika Sorenstam
32) Before I was a teen I tried on my jeans backwards like Kris Kross did in "Jump Jump"
31) In terms of pop music I think Madonna > Michael Jackson
30) I've hit it while she was on her period ( she said it was light and virtually non existant...wasn't the case)
29) I've prank called "Kids Help Phone" more times than I've masturbated
28) If I had the power to bring back anyone to this world it would be Janis Joplin.
27) Everytime I take a dump, I have to shower after.
26) I never use public bathrooms for dumps unless it is an emergency
25) LOX > Wu Tang
24) Jay-Z > Nas
23) Last year my income according to revenue Canada was $28.70 for the year
22) I've been to a Beyonce concert (it was free)
21) I have actually ate a piece of Dog once. (not the dude the animal)
20) I was an emotional wreck (and probably still am) the day I found out wrestling wasn't real
19) I've taken a dump in the Atlantic Ocean
18) I've taken a dump in Wasaga Beach
17) While the other kids were outside enjoying recess I would pretend I forgot something and steal from their desks
16) I've never been suspended, never had detention, and never had a phone call placed to my parents but I have been thrown out of a highschool.
15) I'm a big Survivor fan.
14) I've travelled 9 hours for a booty call.
13) If I ever have a daughter I'm designing a contraption that creates a padlock around her vagina
12) I once ate a bottle of lipgloss for $10
11) I once downed a 2L of chocolate milk in highschool in front of 100 kids during a bet (puked it all up shortly after)
10) I hate lettuce
9) I've asked a homeless person for a toonie and he was in such awe he gave it to me
8) My bedsheets and pillowcase have Dragon Ball Z characters on them (despite me never watching the show a day in my life)
7) I hate the Fresh Prince of Bel-air
6) The first person I ever bust a nut to was Kelly from Saved by The Bell
5) Growing up as a kid, I wanted to be a Janitor ( I thought it was cool that dude slept in the scool)
4) From grade 6 onward I dreamt of being a doctor ( that dream didn't last long)
3) Last year, I shit myself
2) I used to love the fake Spice Girls tatoos you'd get with gum. (my parents beat me thinking I was gay)
1) I've once been on the giving end of a golden shower.

Recapping The Night: Another day, another bunch of failed picks and another "GIC" that kept us treading that water. Overall we made a big whopping $27.27 last night but I must say I'm loving the hell out of the fact that I slaughtered that Minny/Suns over pick. Hate the fact I lost the Laker/Kings game on a free throw. Picks will be up shortly if you're looking for NCAA picks check about around 6:30pm, I need some help with those.
May the winners be ours. Taking over the world one step at a time. Incase you haven't gotten the memo my name is Julius James and I'm the fucking shit.

Tuesday, March 16, 2010

Another Day Another Loss

Going to Find a "GIC" that we could make our money back. Stay tuned...

9:56 pm 800 on Suns/Twolves over 225.5 -110.

100 Things...

For the record I'm not 15, especially in that pic I was hammered and giving backshots to a chick at Saputo Stadium in Montreal. Someone brought up the idea a few days ago that I'm so open I should do a blog based on things you might not have known about me. Chances are the things I list today, some of them might never make you want to shake my hand again. Brace yourself:

100) I masturbate at the very least 5x a day.
99) Given the oppurtunity, I'd beat the breaks off of Eva Braun
98) I watched the Chyna Sex tape almost in its entirety (didn't enjoy it )
97) I watched 2 Girls 1 Cup in its entirety (didn't make me flinch)
96) In 2010, I'll probably wake up in my own urine and vomit at least 3x
95) I have no problem banging music from Sheryl Crow
94) When I was in Grade 8 me and my boy watched Beastiality Porn ( we thought it was a myth)
93) I've watched every Spongebob Episode out at least 2x
92) I have a terrorist-ass last name despite not being Muslim or anyone in my family for that matter.
91) I choked up during Ice-Age (I wasn't even intoxicated)
90) I pissed my pants in Senior Kindergarden and blamed the kid who didn't know english
89) I once humped a cop on duty and she liked it (Caribana)
88) I rather lose a finger than cheer for Liverpool
87) I rather lose a toe than cheer for the Red Sox
86) I hate Steak, Porkchops, and Ribs. (apparently I'm 1 in a million)
85) I'm hooked on The HIlls
84) I'm hooked on The Real World
83) I'm hooked on anything that is on MTV
82) I'm a member of the 220lb club (once banged a chick around 220)
81) I don't find Nickleback as bad as people make them out to be
80) In my spare time I like to read Authobiographies (Jeff Archer's, The Prison Diary is the best. Get it!)
79) I have a thing for light skinned Indian girls (google them)
78) I've done it in the movie theatre
77) I've done it on the TTC
76) I've taken virginities in the back seat of my car
75) I never have or will view anything pertaining to Lord of The Rings, Harry Potter, or Twilight
74) I have the nastiest "hitchhiker thumb" you'll ever see.
73) My right food is about a half-size smaller than my left (reconstructive surgery + compartment syndrome)
72) Columbus ranks up there in terms of cities I've visited
71) I'm addicted to Coke Zero
70) If they were sold in Canada I'd be addicted to Mountain Dew Code Red
69) The only reason I eat at Wendies is because the drive thru chick/manger is smoking
68) Despite one time, I don't eat vagina
67) I think Barack Obama is an idiot (Hilary all the way)
66) Multi-culturalism annoys me
65) I once rode the on the TTC (public transit) for 5 hours straight (wasn't sleeping)
64) I've cut my balls shaving
63) I've repeatedly tried to sell my foreskin on the internet ( I hear they make great wallets)
62) I'd sleep with Nancy Grace
61) I once thought Glenn Beck was intelligent ( his CNN days)
60) I've been to a pro-Nazi/Hitler/fascist club
59) I grew up a Niner fan but because of their blatent racism (Chinese tourist video) and Mike Singletary I fucking hate them. (Still love you Steve Young)
58) I once tried to fight Chris Bosh ( we were at a club, he bumped me, I didn't think the due behind me was a 6'9 NBA player.)
57) Despite not following it religiously, I'm still a pretty big WWE fan.
56) If I hear that Jay-Z/Alicia Keys "Empire State of Mind" song one more fucking time I'm going to become a Red Sox fan (just kidding)
55) I'm a big fan of the show Reba
54) I'd sleep with Beth ( Dog The Bounty Hunter's Wife)
53) I sometimes enjoy the smell of my own farts ( Bean Burritos I think it was, smells just like the inside of a taco bell)
52) I once had a 12yr old kid as me if I was going to rape her. (being black in the Midwest = problems)
51) I think British Cuisine is the shit.

Stay Tuned The other 50 come Tomorrow!

Recapping the Night: Still a loss but at least the picks are starting to take shape. Fucking Denver Nuggets and Billups unaware of the fucking time on the clock cost us. $900 wagered and $755.15 returned. We'll take a loss of $144.85 on the night. Hopefully March Madness is kind to us. Overall we're sitting on the profit end of $924.36

May the winners be ours. Taking over the world one step at a time. Incase you haven't gotten the memo my name is Julius James and I'm the fucking shit.

Monday, March 15, 2010


Before I get into it you might want to check out the link above. While many think this is a bad idea, I think it's one of the hottest things out there. A perfume that makes you smell like pussy. Why the fuck would anyone want to smell like a fish market?? Apparently you buy this perfume which I'm sure is vastly overpriced and you spray this shit on you and you'll be smelling like your lady's vagina in no time. You're probably asking yourself why the fuck would anyone buy this and it's the worst idea you've ever heard. It's time to think outside the box. Whoever came up with this fantastic idea is a genius and will make a tonne of money.

First you have you have to think of virgins. Not only do virgins miss out on getting vagina, a lot of them only know what it looks like from a screen. The counter-strike loving fucked up people this world produces has never touched, smelt, or fucked a vagina in their life. Somewhere in this world there are a bunch of people aged 18-45 wondering what a vagina smells like. If you tap what I tap then a trip to Spadina (china town) would suffice but to get a more accurate sense, virgins all across the world should be lining up to purchase this shit. The second greatest use and one more helpful for the rest of us, especially myself in trying to dump someone. Unfortunately, in this fucked up city of mine there are not many hoes. This isn't Montreal or NYC where girls are contented with a one-night stand.

In Toronto the girls, regardless if they are hot or not all have the personality of zoo animals. There is no compromise because they won't let you hit it on the first night. A bunch of fucked up, pretentious bitches (remind you of someone?) So if you're like me then you have about 6 relationships going at once in an effort to tap multiple vagina. It's a rotation similar to to the 5 disc changer one has in their car. Eventually you get tired of listening to the same cd over and over and you just want to get rid of it and add a new one. I have the same problem with the ladies. (I'm not bragging by the way I'm not exactly banging 5 Heidi Klums) So now Vulva has given me a simple solution. If I want to get rid of one, I spray this shit all over me before a date. Eventually they would clue on that I either have a weird fetish or I've been banging someone before the date. That's when I say "sorry I know I told you I was committed and ready to marry you because I love you but I am not a one women guy." Then I get the fuck out before the tears flow. Surely I could just be honest with them but I'll leave the honesty for Nuns. Vulva, you just helped the break-up process ten-fold.

Recapping the Night: Everything wrong once again minus a push. However with the Raptor game 93-97 late in the 4th I could see it slipping and we bet $2000 on the -350 on the Blazers. This isn't exactly fucking ideal and one day we'll get burned but insted of losing $600 by my fucked up picks all we lost was $28.57 overall we're at $1069.21. Rainy days I'll leave my March Madness picks today but I'll add more throughout the week if I like anything. 

May the winners be ours. Taking over the world one step at a time. Incase you haven't gotten the memo my name is Julius James and I'm the fucking shit.

Sunday, March 14, 2010


Blazers  money line watch. i'll tell u when to hit it asap:

11:04 am -350 2000 go hit it

11:14 Thank me fuckin later what a day LOL now I'm going to check myself into the hospital. smooth sailing from here...

You Immigrants Need To Shut The Hell Up

Sorry for the being late but ya blame the Rickard's Red. Also would like to note, I graduated highschool with some fancy letter that says I'm amazing because throughout the 4 years, I held an 80+ average. I got accepted into a prestigious university globally, at an earlier date than most yet with all that I still don't fucking understand day-light savings time. Anyways it's Saturday night and I'm doing what I do most weekends, drowning my sorrows at the bar. I'm there to see Pacman and Clottey a punching bag go at it. So the fighters are about to come out, everyone's getting excited and the tension is building up, then the National Anthems come on. The Ghana National Anthem comes on and despite a few very dark people at the bar, they sang a bit but it was quite respectful and humble. Then the Filipino national anthem comes on and the fucking bar erupts.

Then it hit me, these people are fucked up. By this time I wanted Clottey to beat the shit out of Pacman and if he wasn't so fucking pussy, he might have. I could understand Filipino people proud of Pacman and proud that he put them on the map but for all the shit I give Canada, this time I'm going to defend them. Why the fuck are you cheering a country that you left? If you want to see a typical upper-class city in the Philippines then you don't need to watch OLN or other tourist channels, check out today's display picture, it's a lavish city in the Philippines. Why the fuck do so many people bitch about Canada then when their shitty country which is 100x worse gets displayed, they're all fucking happy. The gov't needs to get on it and start deporting people left, right, and centre because they make a mockery of Canada. Cheering on the national anthem of the Philippines is equivalent to cheering on the toilet bowl after a meal at an Indian restaurant.

This is real talk, you know what people aspire to be in the Phillippines? While most kids in the world say they want to be doctors or lawyers or athletes if you're in the Phillipines you say you want to be a waiter or a maid in Japan or China. I couldn't even make that shit up if I tried. In Filipino culture you are seen as successful if you got the fuck out. They all live in landfils and are on those cheesy send us money, World Vision commercials. Such an amazing place to live I bet. Yet you got a bunch of ugly looking short ass cunts cheering on the country like it's the greatest thing invented since Hamburger Helper. You should have sang your National Anthem people like the purple looking negroes did and cheered on the athlete. Instead you chose to scream and chant with tears in your eyes. What the fuck are you so happy about? Wiping the asses of rich, spoiled Japanese and Chinese children. These short ass motherfuckers need to know their role and when grown folks are talking, close their mouths.

Recapping The Night: Nothing to Recap but I'm going to lay a few down. Check the board out.

May the winners be ours. Taking over the world one step at a time. Incase you haven't gotten the memo my name is Julius James and I'm the fucking shit.