Support my Family

For all your hip hop and lifestyle needs please visit:

If you're looking for a restaurant in the downtown Toronto area look no further:

For all your catering needs in the Nova Scotia area please email:, website will be up in the near future

Tuesday, August 31, 2010

Complaint #5828292 about Cable Companies/TV

It's Sunday afternoon, the birds are chirping, the alcohol is flowing, there isn't a cloud in the sky and I for a change am loving life. You only get so many days like these where everything goes right before you fall in the pile of crappiness once Monday kicks off and everyone goes back to being an asshole. It's a rare summer day that I'm enjoying so I sit back on this broken futon, open a Stella and watch something (I forget what) on Global TV without a complaint in the world. Then the commercials kick in. Is it fucking necessary that on a Sunday afternoon when everything is going good and I don't have one complaint in the world, I'm now watching a starving kid in Africa who is about 10 years old who know has to take care of his brothers Mustafah, Abdi, Nafasi and Mercedes (parents wanted the last one too be rich). Why is this starving kid taking care of these 4 kids all younger than him? His parents died of aids and world vision wants me to send money while they're playing that gay ass song "Heart of an Angel."

Thanks for fucking up my Sunday afternoon World Vision and Global TV. You rape me up my ass in gay ass fees, please don't fuck up my day with that non-sense. Instead of asking me for money to help those 4 negros whose parents are dead and they are now starving, why don't just have warlords and witch-doctors in Africa advocate using condoms and pay those twisted fucks to do it. Everyone in Africa believes in that non-sense, it's a simple solution. Pay leaders, warlords, witch-doctors, tell K'naan to get his ass down there and tell the people if you put this on your cock it won't fall off and Mustafah,  Abdi, Nafasi, and Mercedes would be raised by parents, not their starving ass brother. Ever since I was born Africans have been fighting aids and the government funding that goes to advocating awareness has always been a waste so fuck it, why should I have to watch starving kids and hear these sad stories. Use a fucking condom or die.

Same thing goes for Pakistan. Since this flood disaster my phone been ringing off the hook with people begging for money. If you didn't use all your money for supplying the Taliban and fighting a 10000 year war with India, maybe you could help your own people. Stop fucking calling me, especially when I'm in a good mood to hear how much bodies have been washed away and how much kids need shelter, I don't give a fuck. I do what I can to make small changes in the world but helping African people who all got aids and giving money to Pakistan so they could fund their military isn't high up on the list. Stop playing the gay ass "children of God" type music and if want to really help Africa then World Vision should show them that putting a condom/doritos bag/cling wrap/sock on your cock would make those problems go away quicker than me sending money.

Recapping the Night:

$500 Inter Milan -175 (L)
$400 Rays -140= Return of $685.71 (W)
$200 Yankees -125= Return of $360 (W)
$200 Cards -120 (L)
$200 Giants -125 (L)
$400 White Sox -135=Return of $696.30 (W)
$400 Phillies -140 (L)
Play of the Day:
$600 Angels -120=Return of $1100 (W)

Total Wagered: $2900
Total Returned: $2842.01
Total Loss: $57.99
Total Earned to Date: $2983.72

Contact Info:

May the winners be ours. Taking over the world one step at a time. Incase you haven't gotten the memo my name is Julius James and I'm the fucking shit.

Sunday, August 29, 2010

Being Mindfucked by Topanga

Everybody remember Topanga from Boy Meets World? If you don't click here so you could grasp what I'm going to say. My friend and I hit the pub on Saturday night for UFC 118 (which sucked asshole by the way). Nearing the end of the night we both meet a chick, one who looks like the link you just clicked. She introduces herself as Sonya (just what I need, another Euro bitch) and we shake hands. Only one problem, it's a well known fact I got soft hands. All I do is wank, no hard labour, not much to use my hands for besides jerking my cock so don't give hard handshakes. Topanga's drunk broken down ass (she was with a negro who was definitely going to get some that night) decides to relate my soft handshake to my sexual orientation. She is convinced I'm bi-sexual/homo/Adam Lambert/gay/whatever. No biggie, little Miss Humpty Dumpty butt is joking around (I think?) for like 15 mins thinking I'm bi-sexual and keeps asking me to seek help, I'm sober (I think) so I think nothing of it. Then the gin and tonic kicked in.

So now I'm walking home, about an 8 minute walk from the pub to my house and I can't help but think about Topanga's strong belief that I'm a faggot. Her evidence being the weak handshake and she sees me as the type that is so "into myself." During the walk, I decided to have a convo with myself which was sort of like the shit you see on cartoons, a devil and angel are both on my shoulder giving me conflicted evidence to assess whether I'm gay or not. Angel says " you've never touched cocked, kissed a dude, gotten butt raped, fucked someone from the ass, listen to gay music or wear skinny jeans." Score 1 for JJ not being gay. Then the devil kicks in " Well, you do watch porn about 8 times a day, don't you think all that cock you see, subconsciously fucks with your mind" So now there is evidence on both worlds (no pun intended)

As I'm walking I stumble upon a house party and get wasted, I come home, fully convinced I'm not a faggot, then I turn on Jersey Shore. Wait what? See what I mean, everytime I convince myself that I'm not gay, I do something that is questionable. After Jersey Shore ends, it's about 4am, and I decide to pop in the dvd of Six Feet Under (a show I'm now getting into) 17mins into the 54 minute episode, these two fags start kissing. Fuck me I can't escape the gay shit. After soul-searching for an hour, the mindfucking stop and I come to the conclusion I am not gay, I was never gay, and I will never be gay. However, Topanga's bootleg ass really mindfucked me. But to make sure I took the gay test. gay test here and it told me I was 15% gay (guessed on the Liza Minelli question) and it said I don't have a gay bone in my body. So despite the inevitable comments,emails, and Topanga's fucked up thought process, I AM NOT GAY because the certified gay test from a gay ass web site, told me so......( I hope)

Recapping the Night: This is gay

$200 Yankees/White Sox over 9.5 -110 (L)
$200 Rays -140= Return of $342.86 (W)
$200 Padres +100 (L)
$200 Dodgers +106 (L)
$200 Nationals/Cards over 7.5 -105 (L)
$200 Marlins -105 (L)
Play of the Day
$400 Tigers +115= Return of $860 (W)

Total Wagered: $1600
Total Returned: $1202.86
Total Loss: $397.14
Total Earned to Date: $3041.71

Contact Info:

May the winners be ours. Taking over the world one step at a time. Incase you haven't gotten the memo my name is Julius James and I'm the fucking shit.

Saturday, August 28, 2010

Friday, August 27, 2010

Rebecca Romano and General Throughts About Last Night

Sorry if this seems scattered or blurred, I'm still fucked up from last night. Last night I went to check out a hip-hop show which happened to be at a converted restaurant/bar in Little Italy. As you've probably already read, I've been having trouble with my hoes as of late so I set out to find my future wife, I wanted a Wop. There she was, the bartender who definitely spit in my veal cutlet. She was a rare breed. You could tell she doesn't care about materialism, cock, sex or any of that, she isn't the type. I'm not even sure this type of chick enjoys sex. Instead, she's lived her life being mediocre. A mediocre job, a mediocre body, a smile that makes her face look akward. She just had no interest in herself. I formulated all these opinions based on looking at her for 90secs. and I may have voiced a few of them out loud, hence the saliva and veal.

That's the problem with me. I don't want hoes, I want a wife. She must have amazing oral skills. (I don't care if intercourse is terrible, as long as the head game is proper) Quality time would include getting drunk at the neighbourhood pub and watching ESPN. She should never complain that I watch too much sports. She should be able to support me with her income because I don't care to work a real job. She must have a wild imagination when it comes to sex (I'm game for anything that isn't gay or saddistic) She should be able to clean especially scrubbing the toilet because I hate to do it and she should also isolate herself from society like I do. Is that too much to ask? Surely there's a desperate 30yr old out there reading this thinking, "well I can do much worse," hit me up.

Back to the show, I have a friend who gets up at like 4am almost every morning and pisses off his Jamaican neighbours by playing cowboy music. I never understood why until last night. That shit had me jerking off at 4am wondering why the hell can't I feel my dick listening to Marvin Gaye's "Heard it through the Grapevine." On nights like these you learn a lot about the world. White people still support hip-hop and are about the only ones, minus the content that keeps it alive. Also, if you want to get that non-committal vagina, Uzbekistan is the place to go. That's what my life has become, beating my meat while listening to Marvin Gaye and thinking about visiting places like Uzbekistan.

Recapping the night: shit shit shit and more shit. Fuck.

$200 Liverpool +162 = Return of $524 (W)
$200 Celtic +220 (L)
$400 Jays -150 (L)
$300 Rangers -160 (L)
$200 Marlins +100= Return of $400 (W) 
Play of the Day:
$400 As -115 (L)

Total Wagered: $1700
Total Returned: $924
Total Loss: $776
Total Earned to Date: $3038.85
Contact Info:
May the winners be ours. Taking over the world one step at a time. Incase you haven't gotten the memo my name is Julius James and I'm the fucking shit.

Thursday, August 26, 2010

The Conversation with Wifey, Different Wife, Different Solution

Anybody that knows me knows I'm not a one women guy, my life is like a typical middle-aged white dude in Salt Lake City. I keep various girls around for all different things like advice, sex, emotional support, sex, friendship, sex, and sex. We all know what happened when I got back from NYC and the dumb ass whore went through my stuff so I kept it low key for a few hours before I went back on the grind. One of my various girls looks exactly like the girl on the left, Jenna Fischer. A 30-something year hold hot chick who always gives the best advice and she has a decent ass, decent tits especially around the time Oktoberfest rolls around and all the girls wear that costume that make their tits look massive. Besides the chinese tats and the addiction that will one day leave her broke, she's a quality chick with a lot to offer.

So I'm back from my 12-hour "low-key" period and yesterday we were having a chat. It was around dinner time so I told her: "damn I ate too much bran flakes today but they were just so good." That was the biggest mistake I ever made in my life. She asked me if I ever had a colonic (sp). To which I said no and if it involves someone playing with my asshole, it's a definite no. She then goes on and on about how every so often, she goes to the doctor and she bends over and they shoot water up her ass, I'll spare you what she said after this and will just say "to clean you out." *Blankstare* Really white people, is this how far we're taking it. It's one thing if your at risk for colon cancer or your ill and have to get this procedure done but who in their right mind goes to get water shot up their ass for the benefit of being cleaned out.

Now I'm wondering how do I look at this person again. She's fairly normal I think, she lives a normal life without handcuffs, sybians, whips, golden showers and she's one of the few who I know that isn't bi-sexual. Then you find out she gets water shot up her ass for fun, what the fuck is going on with me and my women? I got one who is a retard and goes through my things and I got one who likes water penetrated in her asshole but she'll never stick anything solid up there. White people I don't get it. You got the hottest women, the nicest houses, the best jobs, you eat bland ass food but hell ain't nothing wrong with frozen pizzas and chicken fingers. You got great benefit plans, kids that graduate highschool and you avoid jail. You have great lives compared to mexicans, blacks and everyone else. Yet you guys are so discontented with those near perfect lives that you want water shot up your ass because it completes you? Welcome to the world I live in.

Recapping the Night:

$100 Rockies +115= Return of $215 (W) 
$200 Cubs -105= Return of $390.48 (W)
$200 Dodgers +104= Return of $408 (W) 
$300 Yankees -130 (L)
$200 Rays +100 (L)
Play of the Day:
$400 Mariners/Red Sox game 2 over 7 -120 (L)

Total Wagered: $1400
Total Returned: $1013.48
Total Loss: $386.52
Total Earned to Date: $3614.85

Contact info:

May the winners be ours. Taking over the world one step at a time. Incase you haven't gotten the memo my name is Julius James and I'm the fucking shit.

Wednesday, August 25, 2010

Dr. JJ's Class is in Session

As you probably already know, I was away in NYC this weekend. While I was away, I had a disgruntled piece of shit hoe, someone not worth any of my time go through all of my business emails. She got lucky on the password and went through everything. She then flipped out because she saw credit card statements that had my name in places like Orlando, New York etc and she decided to confront me. Little did she know, my credit card only has a $500 limit and my parents use my card for almost all small transactions to avoid any damage in the event of identity theft. So now after explaining it to the hoe and deleting her from my life, permanently cause this bitch aint worth shit I'm figuring out ways to get back at her.

I spent a lot of time today, contemplating how the fuck do I ruin her life, just as much as she tried to ruin mine. Going through someone's personal things is a whole different degree of homicide. Then I thought fuck it, I'll be the better person. So piece-of-shit-good-for-nothing hoe whose virginity I fuckin snagged, here's some advice. Tomorrow morning, when you get up, look in the mirror and realize how shit you are, I want you to take the bus. Take the 165 bus all the way to York Mills, when you get to York Mills station please walk down the stairs to the subway platform. When you're at the platform, and you see a bright light coming, just jump down onto the platform.

It's the best advice I could give you baby. You're nothing more than scum who doesn't deserve to live. There's a reason why your parents think you're a disgrace and wish you had nothing to do with them. There's a reason why all your cousins and family despise you. There's a reason why I refused to see you all these times because your can't fuck for shit and throughout the 3 years that I've known you the only thing you have going for you is that Dizzy Gillespie blow game. If it wasn't for that perfect cock sucking mouth, you wouldn't be any use to anyone. If you don't take my advice and decide to continue living your piece of shit life, please be advised that the next guy, and the one after that, and the one after that is going to be exactly like me. He's going to come to you for oral, he's going to cheat on your ass, and he's going to live under the false hope that he got it made because you're a millionare. But what's the point of being a millionare when no one wants to be with you, no one likes you, and you're a joke to everyone you know. With that said, eat a donkey dick and die bitch.

Recapping the Night:

$200 Werder Bremen +240 (L)
$200 Toronto FC/CD Arabe Unido over 2.5 goals +105 (L)
$200 CSKA Moscow +100= Return of $400 (W)
$200 Wigan +100= Return of $400 (W)
$200 Yankees -110= Return of $381.82 (W)
$200 Cubs +122= Return of $444 (W)
$200 Marlins -120 (L)
$200 Rays -105= Return of $390.48 (W)
Play of the Day:
$400 As -110= Return of $763.64 (W)

Total Wagered: $2000
Total Returned: $2779.94
Total Profit: $779.94
Total Earned to Date: $4001.31

Contact info:

May the winners be ours. Taking over the world one step at a time. Incase you haven't gotten the memo my name is Julius James and I'm the fucking shit.

Tuesday, August 24, 2010

They Did it Again

Toronto is once again displaying their true colours and once again I'm apart of this gay fiasco. Toronto is one massive asshole, not the persona but an actual asshole. Millionares and billionares who are all scum come to Toronto and they stick their cocks in the asshole. Clearly we like it because we keep coming back over time to get raped some more. Despite all the bitching and moaning, none of this hides the fact that we always come back. The latest rape involves a new PPV sports channel, Sportsnet One.

We have TSN, TSN2, Sportsnet East, Sportsnet West, RDS, Sportsnet Ontario, Sportsnet Pacific, The Score, ESPN Classic, Leafs TV, and Raptors TV. 11 sports channels. Yet if you want to watch the remaining Blue Jays game, 25 Raptor games among a shitload of NHL and EPL, in October you will have to pay for sportsnet one. Those who don't have Rogers right now, can't watch the Toronto Blue Jays (I'm not sure why anyone would willingly want to watch that crap) but Rogers owns the fucking team and have isolated people who don't have Rogers tv. So you got 11 channels that you pay for, which previously showed everything available, but now for the most part those 11 channels are useless and if you want to watch the good shit you will be forced to pay for Sportsnet One. That's right, 11 channels worth of darts, fishing, the Westminster Dog Show, and the other night when I was flicking channels they were showing the movie Rudy.

Yet, despite all this complaining, I'm well aware of the fact that I now must order this channel. Sports is a huge part of my life and if I "protest" this decision, I'm only hurting myself. Therefore on October 1st when the free-preview of sportsnet one ends, I'll be on the phone making sure I grab the channel. It's rape that I have no choice but to like. Rogers sticks their small shrivelled cocks up our asses and we are forced to take it or continue on with our shitty lives missing things that make our lives more tolerable. Fuck all this talk about sports channels and we don't even get ESPN because the gov't said no. Oh well, in 5 years we'll have 15 sports channels and everything will then be on a PPV channel, Sportsnet 3, and the gov't won't step up to intervene because they are all a bunch of ass-eating, animal-pedophile-loving, thong wearing pieces of shit.

Recapping the Night:

$100 Manchester City +150= Return of $250 (W)
$300 Rays -140= Return of $514.29 (W)
$200 Twins +140 (L)
$200 Yankees +111 (L)
$300 Cards -125= Return of $540 (W)
Play of the Day:
$500 Yankees/Jays over 9 -110 (L)

Total Wagered: $1600
Total Returned: $1304.29
Total Loss: $295.71
Total Earned to Date: $3221.37

Contact info:

May the winners be ours. Taking over the world one step at a time. Incase you haven't gotten the memo my name is Julius James and I'm the fucking shit.

Monday, August 23, 2010

Afer spending the last 2 days in New York City (where I got to watch my Yanks rape the shit out of the Mariners) I've become familiar with this Mosque/World Trade Center issue and people's general reaction. First of all what a dumb fucking idea. Having been down to the WTC site numerous times there has never been a time where I didn't see families of a victim(s) and it's always heart-breaking to watch. Now, because a bunch of Taliban twats bought the building right opposite the site they want to pray. Fuck democracy and fuck them, I wish some politician told them to eat a dick and get the fuck out.

This isn't a knock on Islam, (my grandfather had converted 40 years ago and ) from the little I know, Islam is a sound religion. However, there are people who used Islam as an excuse to carry out a personal agenda and no person should go to a place of mourning and be reminded of the justification as to why they lost a family member because it was "seemingly Allah's plan." Nah fuck that, I got no problem with mosques, Imams, or Muslim folks but New York City is a big ass place there is no need to build a fucking mosque next to a site where people mourn and try to seek consolation from the world. This is about a stupid idea as the Toronto to Rochester ferry that no one ever used or the people who commit crimes and post pictures on facebook.

Fuck democracy and fuck this free society that politicians talk about. We're controlled via taxes so that excuse goes out the window. More people need to start calling it like it is. I don't think this Mosque plan will ever take off (they've only raised 18k out of the 100 million needed) however the fact that it's being discussed is fucking stupid. People have died on the site and those responsible have used the religion to justify the action. Out of respect and consideration, no one should be subjected to re-live the events of 9/11 after they witness a Mosque being built fuck that. Tell the Talibans to build it Montana or South Dakota and fuck off.

Recapping Friday Night:

$100 Nationals +300 (L)
$100 Padres +133 (L)
$300 Yankees -150 (L)
$300 Jays/Red Sox over 8.0 -110= Return of $572.73 (W)
$300 Angels/Twins over 8 -110 = Return of $572.73 (W)
$300 Rays/As over 7 -110= Return of $572.73 (W)
$200 Argos/TiCats under 54 -110= Return of 381.82 (W)
Play Of the Day:
$500 Argos -2.5 -115 (L)

Total Wagered: $2100
Total Returned: $2100.01
Nothing gained.
Contact Info:
May the winners be ours. Taking over the world one step at a time. Incase you haven't gotten the memo my name is Julius James and I'm the fucking shit.

Saturday, August 21, 2010

No Blog Til Monday

I'm about to fly out to NYC to take care of my charity, FEED THE STRIPPERS. Have a great weekend and we'll be back Monday. Take care and have a great weekend.

Friday, August 20, 2010

Stop Being So Fucking Tolerant

Yesterday I had a law exam to write and a few days prior to this exam I found this in my email inbox:

Hi all,

A number of students have requested that they be permitted to bring food to the exam as it is the month of Ramadan and they would like to break their fast around 8:30 or so. I've checked with the Dean's office and there is no policy in place that would prevent me from permitting students from doing so. So, I am hereby granting all students permission to bring food into the exam. Please choose food that will not disturb your fellow students - i.e. don't bring food with loud wrappers or food that is excessively crunchy.

Best, DM.
What the fuck. So wait, I have to write an exam, one that is fucking amazingly hard and while I write I'll be subjected to the nasty ass smell of indian/pakistanian food. Now I'm not trying to be racist or anything but one of my former side-chicks used to be this hot Indian bird and even she'll tell you, their food smells like ass mixed with piss. Here's what I don't understand, the students are asking if they could eat at 8:30 because that's when the sun sets and thus they are now able to eat. The exam lasts from 7-10. So what they saying is that they are so fucking retarded and weak, they can't last 1.5 hours without eating. Well I got my revenge.
Me and my other various negros that were forced to write the exam under the existance of grotesque smelling indian food decided to take matters in our own hands. 12 coke zeros, a massive container of jerk chicken, rice + peas, and of course, shrimp chips. You know the real nasty smelling shrimp chips that could stink up a whole room in seconds, those ones. Throughout the exam we devoured all these things and often times we'd interrupt the exam asking others if they would like to join in. In hindsight, it might not have been a good idea with the dirty looks the profs was giving us, or maybe he was gay. Either way the message was sent loud and clear. If you're going to be all democratic and expect this indian food to fuck up things for everyone else because a bunch of pussy ass kids who can't speak english can't last 1.5 hours more without food, then expect the blacks to exploit the shit out of these rules.
Recapping the Night:

$100 Cubs +147 (L)
$200 Marlins -105= Return of $390.48 (W) 
$200 Rays +113 (L)
Play of the Day (CFL):
$400 Bombers/MTL over 56 -110= Push

Total Wagered: $900
Total Returned: $790.48
Total Loss: $109.52
Total Earned to Date: $3517.08

Contact Info:

May the winners be ours. Taking over the world one step at a time. Incase you haven't gotten the memo my name is Julius James and I'm the fucking shit.

Sorry Computer Problems

Choppy internet right now, I'll try to post as soon as I get everything to work

Thursday, August 19, 2010

I've Found the Right Person For Me- The Complex Bartender

I had to let you guys in on something, I've fell in love. She's everything I could ever ask in a women. A 30-something year old Russian bartender that makes my fucking dick hard. Nevermind the fact that everyone else has fallen in love with her (including my good friend despite what he says, by the way I owe you a tenner, I only brought 40 with me and I didn't think we'd spend 5 hours drinking and I haven't activated my credit card yet) but this girl is the one for me. There is only one problem, well there's a bunch of problems surrounding the love of my life.

For starters, she's bi-sexual. Nothing wrong with that, I actually encourage this sort of stuff, the problem is I think she loves girls more than guys. Secondly, we have opposing views on sex. Be sure to comment if you differ from what I'm about to say. So you're with a girl and you're fingering her and she's soaking wet, you stick your cock in and after about 4 strokes, this girl reaches and is uninterested in continuing or it would just lead to awful sex. The bartender thinks its a great thing, yet everytime you nut, you have to nut in her mouth. See that's where we differ but there is more. If I were to marry this chick (yes it's a pipe dream but dreams are cool) then everytime I'm hitting it, I'd be asking her "whose pussy is this?" because I know she'd be fucking Jon and Kate Plus their 8 kids. That's how loose this girl is, she sticks alka-seltzer up her pussy when she can't get any cock.

That's the girl I've fallen in love with, a pale girl from Siberia with massive tits who sticks antacids in her vagina when she can't get cock. Could you imagine going home from a hard day's work and you're just starting to plow her and the only think you could thing of is "I wonder how many dudes/girls she banged today and whose pussy is this? Is it mine or the mailman's? That represents the complexity of the one I love, she's nothing more than a glorified prostitute. There's also the last problem, she intimidates the hell out of me. I would cum in 5 seconds around this girl and I've never said that about any chick before. She literally scares the living shit out of me and I know I'd just fuck up everytime we have sex. Therefore I need a new love, if you think you're the one for me, make a lot of money and have an addiction to Starbucks, please call me ASAP :)

Recapping the Night:
Play of the Day:

$500 MLB total runs (grand salami) over 130.5 -110= Return of $954.55 (W)

Total Wagered: $500
Total Returned: $954.55
Total Profit: $454.55
Total Earned to Date: $3626.60

Contact Info:

May the winners be ours. Taking over the world one step at a time. Incase you haven't gotten the memo my name is Julius James and I'm the fucking shit.

Wednesday, August 18, 2010

Sex No Longer Sells.

I think in a few years, with the world becoming more and more gay by the second and this whole "digital era" fucking things up, I'll have to give up porn and just settle for the real thing on a more consistent (hourly) basis. Laurence Fishburne aka Morpheus' daughter is setting goals for herself and achieving those goals. Most girls who had privileged childhoods end up aspiring to be something special Laurence Fishburne's daughter Montana is no different. She doesn't want to live in the spotlight of her famous father, she wants to get out there and be known. Be known as the daughter of someone slightly more significant than the rest of us, who gets pounded by black cock for a living. That's right folks, Montana Fishburne aka Chippy D. is an aspiring porn star and at 18 years old, has already starred in a few films and has collected a few prostitution charges on the way.

Oh by the way, today's pic isn't Montana Fishburne. It's just a girl who deleted me from her life (for good reason) but I'm still going to piss her off. Back to Chippy D, see naturally I would promote this sort of thing, more and more women should sell themselves for the benefits of a busted nut. No one could accuse her of living off her father, at 18 years old she's doing her own thing. There's only one problem: she fucking sucks (no pun intended). I've watched about 3 minutes of the tape and I kept thinking to myself, what the fuck is this crap. She's getting plowed by a retarded dude the hip-hop world vaguely knows as Brian Pumper. The whole tape, the one they pushed so hard talking about how amazing it was, was as awful as "One Night in Chyna" (and no I didn't see it, you don't need to see it to know it was awful)

Chippy D has a lot of ass acne which she likes to sell as "leopard spots." No bitch, you got massive ass pimples on your ass and they are fucking disgusting. Secondly, the dude she's plowing, Brian Pumper is full of himself so he's in there posing and shit, negro get your fucking wack steroid inserting ass off the motherfucking screen. From there it just continues getting terrible until I had to shut it off and load up that Daisy Marie video. The main point of this blog is that sex is like everything else in life, for every one success story there are 10 failures. Just 'cause you have a vagina, people aren't going to be interested. In 3 weeks Chippy D is going to become a wack ass hoe and she'll be nothing more than a laugh to everybody. VIVID, step your game up, no wack ass hoes on the screen please.

Link here: (even if you aren't interested in porn, please click it, the intro is hilarious, NSFW) 

Recapping the Night:

$200 Cruz Azul (vs Toronto FC) +160 (L)
$100 Giants +138 (L)
$200 Padres -115= Return of $373.91 (W)
$200 Jays/As over 7 -105= Return of $390.48(W)
$200 Twins -120= Return of $366.67 (W)
$100 Angels +130 (L)
$200 Yankees/Togers over 7.5 +105= Return of $410 (W)
$200 Orioles -125 (L)
Play of the Day:
$500 Blue Jays -105 (L)

Total Wagered: $1900
Total Returned: $1541.07
Total Loss: $358.93
Total Earned to Date: 3172.05

Contact Info:

May the winners be ours. Taking over the world one step at a time. Incase you haven't gotten the memo my name is Julius James and I'm the fucking shit.

Tuesday, August 17, 2010

When Black People Visit Ikea

It's Saturday afternoon and I'm doing fuck all. I live in my parents basement, sorry what I meant to say is I have my own apartment which happens to be in the basement of my parents' home and I don't pay any rent. I have a futon that is a complete piece of crap. With all the wanking, sex, and crazy actions during gambling, the poor thing has taken a beating. The fact that the basement is very small, my parents suggest we head out to Ikea where we could build our own fucking couch.

I've only been to Ikea once before and I was being paid to be there (aunt wanted me to carry some things) so thus I never really had an experience worth mentioning but this time around, it was definitely memorable. The first thing that sticks out is the fucking parking-lot. The thing is like a motherfucking airport with signs everywhere, wide lanes and to top it all off, a complimentary shuttle bus. What the fuck? After the 7 mile walk through the parking-lot, we enter the store and are shocked with the first thing we see. "Damn black people shop here???" was the question being asked. See the first thing you see when those automatic doors open up is a group of negros like this is Sudan. I thought IKEA originated from Sweden. Well, when the furniture store with the 7 mile parking-lot and complimentary shuttle busses also has a restaurant where pasta is 1.99, hotdogs are 50 cents, fries are 2.99 and beer is being sold, black people will congregate like church on Sunday morning.

As we're walking through the store, we come across the furniture section. Everything is gay, but not like Elton John or Ellen Degeneres gay, I'm talking Perez Hilton and Adam Lambert gay. Everything is small, made of crap and would not last a day with the way I wank. Within 5 minutes I come to the conclusion I want nothing and we head out. Only one problem, see the Swedes aren't as dumb as they sound, they get you sucked in and then they force you to walk the whole store. In order to get out of that fucking bathhouse, you need to walk the entire fucking store because the entrance is sealed off once you are inside. No word of a lie this place took us 20 minutes to successfully navigate. At the end of the journey, we come in contact with another restaurant. I just spent about 40 minutes walking when you combine the hike in the parking lot with trying to exit the fucking store and now I'm going to sit the fuck down in this white-ass place and get me a fish and chips for $4.99, my brother does the same.

Finally after about an hour combined, we successfully leave the store. 40 mins being forced to look at crap we'd never by, 15 mins eating and 5 mins doing actual shopping. The entire car-ride home was filled with intelligent conversation which was eloquently crafted. Mom: " I told you not to go to Ikea, we've never been here and everything is for gay Europeans who don't believe in the Lord, Jesus Christ." Dad: "Why do you people have to act like black people everywhere you go, that store gave me some good ideas. Why do you trash everything that isn't what you consider to be normal." Me: " Man what are you talking about, that shit was gay as hell." Mom: "I'd have to agree with the boy, there ain't nothing in that store for us." Brother: " At least I got a meal out of this family vacation." Akward silence filled the air the remaining drive home.

Recapping the Night:

$200 Marlins -110 (L)
$100 Dodgers +142 (L)
$100 Mets +110= Return of $210 (W) 
$300 Padres -110= Return of $572.73 (W) 
$200 Blue Jays +117= Return of $434 (W) 
Play of the Day:
$400 Rays +100= Return of $800

Total Wagered: $1300
Total Returned: $2016.73
Total Profit: $716.73
Total Earned to Date: $3530.98

Contact Info:

May the winners be ours. Taking over the world one step at a time. Incase you haven't gotten the memo my name is Julius James and I'm the fucking shit.

Monday, August 16, 2010

Top 20 Lies Part 2

Uni life has me busy so this one is going to be terrible but theraputic for me. Continuing from Saturday:

11) Jesus Died for our sins
I'm not crushing faith or God with this one, I have faith in God but what a load of crap this is. If God is all powerful then why the fuck would he send his kid to get slaughtered. Cmon Son, the Austrians invented this concept so people would continue believing in the Holy Roman Empire.

12) You need 8 glasses of water per day.
Another misconception. You need the equivalent of 8 glasses of water per day but you could get that in food or bay. 8 glasses is bullshit.

13) Mother Mary was a Virgin.
Cmon son again. Another lie made up by the homo Austrians. She was putting in work like every other chick out there but she was young and her parents would have beaten her ass so she made up the world's most brilliant lie: "God came to me in a dream and told me I'd have his son vicariously through this alcoholic bum ass carpenter Joseph who spiked my drink "

14) Hand-Sanitizer Prevents Sickness
It don't. A lie made up by Johnson and Johnson to get the sucka ass white people to buy that crap and believe it kills 99.9% of germs. You're going to get sick one way or another, if you're going to buy that Johnson and Johnson crap. Drink it and get tipsy, white people.

15) Black people like watermelon
I hate that shit. Fried chicken is another story.

16) Spinach Makes Your Penis Large.
While I have a massive cock, I'm convinced my mom used this as a scam to get me to eat spinach. I hated that shit and she kept telling me it's to get a big healthy penis, something to do with blood vessels. I don't think spinach had anything to do with my $5 footlong, what a lying ass bitch.

17 )What goes around comes around.
While I do believe in karma, in this life you have to bend/avoid rules to get what you want. The asshole mentality is the best way to go about this. However I hope karma doesn't fuck with me, if I have a daughter I'd slit my wrists. Odds on her becoming a hoe: -4000.

18) Aspartame is bad.
Addicted to it and I'm still healthy. My uncles have lived on that shit for years (both diabetic) and they were fine (though one did die at 49, no correlation though....I think)

19) Obama is a negro.
He's more white than the leader of the KKK, people who visit the Calgary Stampede, people who center their lives around Hockey Night in Canada combined.

20) Unicorns are fake.
Fuck that, I seen them a bunch of times. Get on that codeine and you'd be amazed at the wonders this world has if you just look hard enough.

Recapping the night: Sorry can't calculate (busy) and post it here but I'm up $250 over the weekend. Will post picks tonight.

Back After Noon- Cramming for this Modern German History exam

Saturday, August 14, 2010

Top 20 Biggest Lies/Misconceptions People Offer (Part 1):

People always love the lists I do so here is one more. Today, during my reflection time I was thinking about all the lies I was fed throughout my life and general misconceptions people often believe. Forgive me for being real this time around, ignorant shit returns next week.Time to burst your bubble, here goes.

1) All man and women are created equal
Babies are brought into this world poor, neglected, rich, privileged, deformed, with gifts, etc. One thing is certain, we aren't created equal, we are either brought in rich, poor, or in between.

2) Everyone is created in the image of God
Hitler, Manson, Timothy McVeigh, etc. people are created for all different reasons but the image of God is not high up on the list for most people.

3) No one wins in the gambling world
Tell that to Phil Ivey among others. Gambling is just like everything else in this world. There are 95% who suck and will fail and there are 5% of people who are amazing and will cash in. I'm just trying to be in that 5 percentile.

4) I don't give a fuck what people think about me
Selected people, okay but no one in the world can honestly say they don't give a fuck about what all people think about them. Our only measuring stick for our self-identity is through the eyes of others. Whether you like it or not, most of what people do is for the benefit of other people. (wife, kids, boss, etc.) Without others, we are virtually nothing and we need people in this word because they give us a good indication as to who we are as individuals.

5) ______ was a good man (insert whatever name of someone you know have died)
21 years in this world and I've come to the realization that the world's population is 90% greedy, processed bastards and 10% good. If you knew someone who is now dead, chances are they were in the 90% category and were just like the majority of humanity, terrible.

6) I don't need anybody's help.
Whether you like to admit it or not, we all need other people's help. Not necessarily financial help, but emotional guidance, sexual companionship etc. If someone said they made it without the help of anyone then they're just a liar. Life's filled with breaks and backstabbing, you're bound to get a helping hand sometime.

7) Money Ain't Shit to Me
Say that when you're homeless with 3 kids living from shelter to shelter and doing whatever is in your control to make it until the next morning.

8) I'd take a bullet for my boys.
In order to "die" for one of your friends, you gotta be a really fucked up person. Basically what you're saying is: "your life is more valuable than mine because I'm a fucking loser so go ahead and live your life because mine is not worth shit." Loyalty is one thing, dying for another person is a completely different ballgame and too much people talk shit.

9) Where there is a will, there is a way.
Just because you are determined to do something, don't mean the shit will get done. More often than not, it won't get done, because you're just a pathetic loser like most of the world.

10) You can be whatever you want to be.
I want to be pregnant. (thought so motherfucka)

Recapping the Night: More fuckin Garbage.

$100 Dbacks +100 (L)
$100 Mariners +145= Return of $245 (W)
$100 Red Sox +116 (L)
$100 Tigers +140 (L)
NFL Pre-Season:
$100 Eagles -3 -110 (L)
$100 Redskins -4.5 -110= Return of $191.92 (W)
$100 Chiefs +2.5 -110 (L)
$200 Ti-Cats/BlueBombers over 55 -110= Return of $366.67 (W)
$200 BlueBombers -4.5 -115 (L)
Play of the Day:
$400 LA Angels -120 (L)

Total Wagered: $1500
Total Returned: $803.59
Total Loss: $696.41
Total Earned To Date: $2554.25
Contact Info:
May the winners be ours. Taking over the world one step at a time. Incase you haven't gotten the memo my name is Julius James and I'm the fucking shit.

Friday, August 13, 2010

Not Cut from the Same Cloth

The other day I'm bored out of my mind so I'm wondering about my old facebook account. I bagged a lot of chicks off that one and was wondering what happened to not only those hoes but the people in highschool that I knew. (for the record I'm not big on twitter,facebook etc unless it is directly beneficial to me) So I log onto this account (after 24 months) and I start looking at all the people I chilled with in highschool. I'm now well aware why the world hates 21 year olds. All these fucking faggots in skinny jeans and sweatered vests listening to Soulja Boy and the only thing they'll be doing for the rest of their lives is pushing carts at grocery stores. This is when I realized it's as if I was born in a different era because one thing is for sure, I got nothing in common with these people.

They love Dave Chapelle, I love Jackie Gleason. They love Pitbull, I love Leonard Cohen (exposing my 1% white side). They aspire to be fashion designers like Alexander McQueen and Pauly D from the Jersey Shore, I aspire to be Bernie Madoff (before the conviction) and Benny Binion. How long can one stay banging the same ugly Asian and white girls before they come to the realization that there is more to life. People in my demographic are all a bunch of dick sucking faggots and I'm trying not to be an elitist but it's simply the truth. I feel sorry for the world if they are depending on us to go forth and take society to new heights. The world is fucking stupid. Would Steve Jobs or Bill Gates hire Lindsay Lohan or Paris Hilton? Fuck no. So why all the hope and faith on these skinny jeans-wearing homos.

Reality tv, music, tv shows, everything this 21st century has provided is so fucking weird and twisted. Yet no one says anything about it as though we've come immune to this faggot ass shit. I'm finally coming to the realization that my parents were right in a lot of stuff they did (like forcing my ass to get a good education). Everyday I'm surrounded by a bunch of homos who spend 3 hours a day dressing up and taking pictures of themselves in front of a mirror so they could post on facebook, myspace or twitter and have some ugly Snooki looking hoe tell them how sexy they are. Then they'll throw on a tight purple sweater and stand outside in the rain all day pushing carts in and out of Metro or Food Basics. That's what my generation has become, a bunch of good for nothing homos who look about as normal as the girls who act in beastiality porn. Yet the world is trusting this group to help them progress, good luck.

Recapping the Night: Fuck. My. Life. But before that, fuck Johnathan Papleasslicker, Dallas Cowfaggots, and the BC Pansies. Fuckin brutal and for the most part I had my shit down perfectly.


$100 Rockies +140 (L)
$100 Padres -1.5 +110= Return of $210 (W)
$200 Marlins -105= Return of $390.48 (W) 
$100 Phillies +111= Return of $211 (W) 
$100 Orioles +125 (L)
$300 BC Lions +8.5 -110 (L)
NFL Pre-season:

$200 Saints +1.5 -110 (L)
$100 Ravens -4.5 -110= Return of $192.93 (W)
$300 Dallas Cowboys -3.5 -105 (L)
Play of the Day:
$500 Boston Red Sox -105 (L)

Total Wagered: $2000
Total Returned: $1004.41
Total Loss: $995.59
Total Earned to Date: $3250.66

Contact Info:

May the winners be ours. Taking over the world one step at a time. Incase you haven't gotten the memo my name is Julius James and I'm the fucking shit.

Thursday, August 12, 2010

Taking you Back: London, England

The last of the 4 part series, my trip took me to London, England. It's dark, always cloudy, everyone is pissed off, and everything is so damn expensive but no one works. They enter the pub at 7am, drink the first Blue Moon, while listening to Blue Moon, and they'll watch darts or cricket or soccer. Then they'll leave the pub at noon, pick up something disgusting at the side of the road like curry and chips (fries with curry) or a nasty looking stew, then they'll go back in the pub and watch more darts til 8-9pm. The next 2 hours they'll spend quality time with their wife and kids and then back to the pub again the next day. That's the typical life of someone in England. The gov't gives them money for fuck all (called giro payments) and they live in subsidized housing. Very easy to survive on one income over there. My sort of life.

London was nothing short of a spectacular city rich in history, culture, and women. Something about those accents gave me erections throughout the 2 days I was there. London is one of those cities you don't even have to drink much to get drunk, everyone is drunk as though alcohol clouds formulate around the city limits. I found myself one morning at like 5am, pissing on the Stamford Bridge Walls yelling "God Save the Queen" and this is just the typical life to everyone around me, they all joined in. London is a laid back, big city where people don't seem to give a fuck about anything. School is free, the housing is virtually free, the food is cheap and free, and if you're black with a North American accent like moi, the pussy is free. If you live your life with no ambitions or goals and your just a walking cock that will live life day to day fucking anyone and anything and just getting high/drunk, London is the place for you.

Those with direction in their lives end up living in the nice areas of London which will cost you an arm or a leg and they are usually immigrants. Yup, London is a reverse sort of city. The immigrants are the ones who went to school, did their homework and said no to drugs and they are the ones who achieved the most and run the city. The white people did fuck all, instead of going to school they watched soccer, they knocked up an ugly broad at the age of 15, and they just live gov't cheque to gov't cheque in not-so-nice areas. Basically what I'm trying to say is in London, the white people are really black. They inherit the Carribean mentality of "let's do fuck all but drink or smoke all day and the Lord will provide a way." If you want to become anything in London, avoid the whites, they'll drag you down. In this complex city, somewhere between the 8th pint of Boddington and the Indian Biochemist girl I was talking to at the pub (I told her I was studying at Kent Med. school and becoming a pediatrician and the bitch still wouldn't let me hit it) I realized that this place is home and I can't wait to get back.

Recapping the Night:

$100 Marlins +108= Return of $208 (W)
$100 Dodgers +123 (L)
$200 Rockies +107= Return of $414 (W)
$200 As -120= Return of $366.67 (W)
$100 Orioles +130= Return of $230 (W)
$100 Yankees +155= Return of $255 (W)
$100 Twins +160 (L)
$300 NYRB (vs TFC) -150= Return of $500 (W)
Play of the Day:
$400 Boston Red Sox +100= Return of $800 (W)

Total Wagered: $1600
Total Returned: $2773.67
Total Profit: $1173.67
Total Earned to Date: $4246.25

Contact Info:

May the winners be ours. Taking over the world one step at a time. Incase you haven't gotten the memo my name is Julius James and I'm the fucking shit.

Wednesday, August 11, 2010

Taking you Back: Dublin and Dundalk Ireland

Welcome to Ireland. Population: 4.4 million. Out of those 4.4 million people, about 2 thousand of them are African refugees who thought they would come to Ireland for a better life but have come to the conclusion that dying with aids in Dafur was probably the better option. Ireland got about 40 chinese people who run Chinese restaurants or as the locals call it (chink food). 95% of the population is ass ugly and should be shipped off to the Falkland islands. These people got no pride, they'll wear just about anything with their belly, cock, hairy ass pussy hanging out. I chose today's picture for a reason. The girl on the left is the equivalent of Miss. Ireland. If you bagged a girl like that then you are one lucky son of a bitch because she represents the 5% of Ireland's "hot" population. Yup, if this isn't hell I don't know what is.

The food tastes like ass. All people eat is stew. When they get tired of stew they move on to better things. A delicious meal that only the finest eat, fucking Bacon and Cabbage. I hope you're following me. If your wife looks like the girl in today's display picture and your weekday meal consists of Bacon and Cabbage, you have it made. You're living the luxurious, glamourous, royality life. When I first found out I was heading to the UK I must admit I was excited. After a week in this place then you start thinking maybe North Korea would have been a better option, at least they eat sweet and sour dog. However not everything about Ireland was shitty, the tropical humidity is something I miss now that I'm home. During the day it gets to 15 degrees and at night it gets to 9 degrees. You never see the sun and when you do, the sun talks and says "fuck you pale, ugly people I'm going to Spain."

It's 2010, I'm 21 years old and getting paid to fly out 7 hours to a continent I have never been to. Fuck I never left the time-zone before. I'm like a kid waiting for Santa Clause to come drop presents. However it's like I go downstairs and catch my dad putting presents under the tree, but he's dressed in my mother's skirt and bra, and sucking off some dude named Blair. To make matters worse, the presents he left under the tree are knitted sweaters 2 sizes too small and they're filled with weird body juices that I can't describe. That is what this fucking trip felt like. I'm just playing Ireland, thanks for the support and I trully did have fun while I was out there (especially in Dundalk). If you are a female and I hooked up with you, please don't email me or show me what you look like, I rather not know.

Recapping the Night:

$100 Marlins +178= Return of $278 (W)
$200 Rockies -160 (L)
$200 Cards +125= Return of $450 (W)
$100 Rays +103= Return of $203 (W)
$200 Jays -125 (L)
$100 Twins +100= Return of $200 (W)
Play of the Day:
$500 Jays/Sox over 8 -110= Return of $954.55 (W)

Total Wagered: $1400
Total Returned: $2085.55
Total Profit: $685.55
Total Earned to Date: $3072.58

Contact Info:

May the winners be ours. Taking over the world one step at a time. Incase you haven't gotten the memo my name is Julius James and I'm the fucking shit.

Tuesday, August 10, 2010

Taking you back to last Week: Airports/Airplanes

I went from Toronto to Ottawa to Newark to Dublin to London to Dublin to Newark to Toronto. That is a shitload of flights and a bunch of airports. I hate to fly and before last week I had never been in a flight longer than 5 hours so this was always going to be a bad experience, first class all the way was expected to soften the blow, it didn't. After my latest flying experience I can trully say I hate another etnic group, Serbians. It's a 7 hour flight from Newark to Dublin and in those 7 hours I had this little 2-year old Serbian shithead named Darko kicking my seat over and over and over. He refused to wear his seatbelt, cried the entire way through, and when the flight attendant tried talking to him (because his parents were about as effective as rehab was on DJ AM) he just got up and kicked the shit out of my seat.

It took everything I had not to get up of my seat and beat the shit out of this little shithead. However the whole airport/airplane experience sucks harder than Laurence Fishburne's daughter (google Chippy D). Being stuck 3 hours in Newark is about as fun as getting a root canal. There is nothing to do but drink, so you cave in and hit the airport bar and pay the ridiculous $7.89 a pint. You get on the plane and you notice there is one hot chick and 3 homos who will be serving you today. You beg that the hot chick is serving First Class but you end up with the repulsive fag. You try to sleep and the Serbian shithead kicks your seat over and over while you hear his parents softly whisper "Darko please behave." Then you land in a foreign place and all of a sudden it's 7am in the morning when it's 2am back home. Just a fucked up experience.

There was only one thing that could have made the airport/airplane experience any fun: plane prostitutes. You hire 2 Asians and 3 Russian girls and create a few tiny little rooms within the plane. For an outrageous price (because I was getting desperate after the 3rd hour) you could take these hoes into the tiny rooms and fuck the shit out of them. Or get a blow/hand job. At this stage any price would be justified because pussy is about the only thing that could alleviate the horrors of flying. $300 for 30 mins. and I would have gladly taken that offer despite the crazy price. So TSA I hope your listening, bring pussy on the plane that is willing to fuck and there would be no such things as terrorists, terror from flying, or pissed off passangers.

Recapping the Night: Thought I had a 5-0 night, things quickly went sour.

$200 Cards -130= Return of $353.33 (W) 
$200 Braves -120 (L)
$100 Cubs +140 (L)
$300 White Sox -140 (L)
Play of the Day:
$500 Rays -150= Return of $833.33 (W) 

Total Wagered: $1300
Total Returned: $1186.66
Total Loss: $113.34
Total Earned to Date: $2387.03

Contact Info:

May the winners be ours. Taking over the world one step at a time. Incase you haven't gotten the memo my name is Julius James and I'm the fucking shit.