Support my Family

For all your hip hop and lifestyle needs please visit:

If you're looking for a restaurant in the downtown Toronto area look no further:

For all your catering needs in the Nova Scotia area please email:, website will be up in the near future

Sunday, October 31, 2010

I'm still fucked up from last night

Ugh. I'm just going to post Saturday's picks here and recap them when I'm sober. Crazy night. Will post picks soon.

Early Pick:
$200 Tenn/South Carolina over 48 -110= Return of $381.82 (W)
$200 Syracuse/Cincy over 46.5 -110 (L)
Scott's Play:
$100 Bruins -120= Return of $180 (W)
$100 Charlotte +190 (L)
3pm games:
$300 Stanford -7 -110= Return of $572.73 (W)
$300 Georgia -110 (money line) (L)
$300 Miami-Ohio -2.5 -110= Return of $572.73 (W)
$300 Cal/Oregon State over 54 -110 (L)
Total Wagered: $1800
Total Returned: $1707.28
Total Loss: $92.72
Total Earned to Date: $2982.43

Saturday, October 30, 2010

What A Fucked Up Week

Don't mind me I'm going to sit in my shrink chair and vent/complain/bitch/soak it all in. Therapeutic entry for yours truly.

I had to write a paper this week on the argument from evil. The argument states that because there's evil in this world, there is no God. My response to that was that there is some sort of good to be found in all evil, it helps build the soul. Yet not even I could believe in that. What fucking good is there when a mother has to bury her child? Then it made me think of all the suffering in the world, why do we have to suffer. I mean right now there's kids starving and dying and there isn't shit they did to deserve that. I believe in God and even though my faith has taken a beating, why is it wrong to question God? Why can't I ask, why is it that I have all these things, yet halfway around there's a kid my age, with nothing. Yet that dude is probably a better person than me. Shit I just don't get it.

Then I watch my parents and even though they could be the biggest assholes at times I just keep watching them thinking shit they've been beaten down. On the outside they look fine but you could just see the stress tear them apart. Like these people haven't seen happiness since the ball dropped on Y2K and the world didn't end. The whole 9-5 think has really caught up to them. My pops is 45 and my mom is 48 and they just look tired and hopeless. It isn't the money it's just the fact that they've worked 5 days a week for the past 25 years and its taken its toll. Is that what I'm going to be once a graduate? Sitting in a fucking cubicle working making money for some twisted jackass and before I know it I'm 55 years old and life has passed me by and I just become a lifeless dude whose soul purpose in life is to have enough change for the pizza delivery guy and a couple of cans of beer.

My friends are going through some shit and I feel helpless. I try to steer people in the right direction and I know I wouldn't give them bad advice but to see people suffering, my own people still fucks me up. I pray for all of them, I know they'll get through whatever it is they have to fight but life's a struggle and when people finally overcome it, it sucks them back in. My neighbour back in Trinidad dude was living in an abandoned slave barrack. He spent years, literally on his old hands and feet building his house. I watched this dude every summer I came to visit, he had bomb ass weed because he was a rasta and we'd smoke and listen to Bob Marley or Peter Tosh. Dude would tell me "yuh see dread, nex year dis house go be complete." Every year I went back it wasn't complete but he got a little more done. Dude finally finishes building his house, about 12 years after he laid the foundation. 6 months after, this past week, he passed away due to prostate cancer. He spent a lifetime saving for his house, he spent 12 years building it, and he got to live in it for 6 months til he died. Fucked up.

I used to think money would make it all go away but it really doesn't. Money doesn't even put a dent in suffering. I know a chick, whose pretty much a millionaire, multi-millionaire. Yet she has an immediate family member who suffers from M.S. Everyday she has to be at home, or make sure someone is home and lift the person, clean the person, keep the person company, give the person medication. It's worse than a full-time job and she tries to play it off like it's nothing but you can tell it eats her away. She does it because she wants to and the other options aren't great for the person, those nurses don't do a good job but it's tearing her apart. My pops used to pray his Grandmother died and I never understood why but it's all starting to piece together. Seeing people suffer is sometimes worse than enduring suffering.

I been thinking about quitting the whole blog thing for a minute. At first I was just doing this for the fuck of it. Then the hits wernt up and I got companies messaging me and calling me and shit. The money came in but it wasn't even money I could spend. If you wonder why I gamble so much it's because it's all the money earned from this blog. Those assholes tax me and despite my mom's denial, I know she has access to my bank account (works for TD) so I just tell companies to credit my gaming accounts and I keep it all in there. I don't get taxed and my mom will never be asking why I have so much money in my bank account. Yet I was thinking of quitting it all, on the business side of things people can be real assholes, thinking they own you because they cut you a cheque. They wanted me to pump products subliminally in each entry, stop cursing and post once every 3 days. I said get the fuck out of here. Somewhere along the lines I stopped having fun doing this. But today I was just cleaning out my inbox and I kept re-reading emails. I've been able to travel to places I probably never would have been. I kept seeing shit like "man reading your shit help me get through so much I'm just always laughing my ass off." I got people from Romania and Figi sending me emails, I couldn't point to these places on a map. 

Somehow I felt that life isn't just about the suffering endured, it's about living and doing whatever you fucking feel like. Don't mind this emo ass entry, next week I'll be more ignorant than ever. Thanks for all the love and support and if you want to add me on facebook, twitter, msn, email, Skype (if you're a chick) wherever just to shoot the shit hit me up at or leave your details in the comments section of the blog and I'll get back to you. Next week will be a better week. 

Recapping the Night: What a night. 
Play of my day/life:
$2000 Denver Nuggets -1 -110 (L)
$2200 Lakers/Suns over 207.5 -110= Return of $4200
$100 Pens -1.5 +210 (L)
Total Wagered: $4300
Total Returned: $4200
Total Loss: $100
Total Earned to Date: $3075.15

Contact Info:
May the winners be ours. Taking over the world one step at a time. In case you haven't gotten the memo my name is Julius James and I'm the fucking shit.

Thursday, October 28, 2010

This Can't Be Real

R.I.P. Norman Krates, never knew you but you were fucking talented. It's a shame that people with such talent who are fathers, husbands, and contribute to the world get recruited by God and we're left here with mechaplines. I'm so fucking pissed off today especially after that 2nd and goal fumble that ruined any hope of pushing the over but I won't complain, not when there's kids in this world wondering why they'll never see their father again.

Today I was in the zone and it was a long ass day. To get through the day I found an old classic posted by someone on facebook. Supertramp's "The Logic Song." Such a fucking masterpiece the way Roger Hodgson captures life. If you haven't heard it check it out here: The Logical Song. We start off as innocent beautiful kids then we're programmed into units, machines which strips of any personal identity, of any feeling. Such a fucking good song I swear nothing was going to ruin my day, til somehow the youtube playlist went to a "remix" of the song where you can listen to here. What the fuck Scooter. The only Scooter I know is my friend in Salford who likes to do a lot of ketamine and wake up naked in other people's houses. Fuck you Scooter, fuck your gay ass techno music fuck Hamburg because that's where your from and fuck your bitch ass parents who somehow contributed to that gay ass music.

If you listen to "Scooter" from Hamburg please never return to this page again, I won't miss the hit. How the fuck do you fuck up a classic like that is beyond me. It's taken every bone in my body to not find out who the fuck this band is and start sending death threats. Hell I even took the time to check out for flights to Hamburg so I could find out who the fuck these people are and who listens to this garbage. I got turned off when I saw the $993 dollar price (not a bad price by the way but fuck Hamburg.) I hope people who listen to this shit never have kids, they never find a real job in their lives, they live from pay cheque to pay cheque until one day they get fired. Then I hope their house gets foreclosed or they get evicted. Then, because they're already closet gays I hope they become male prostitutes. Then I hope they get caught on drug possession of ecstasy and they have to go to jail. Then I hope in prison every day, 5 black guys who all weigh over 290lbs rapes them, over and over for their remaining 3 year sentence. So if you listen to "Scooter" beware, someone's bound to rape you.

Recapping the Night: Oh what a night. Terrible. Disgusting. Disgraceful. Pathetic. 24-28, Florida St. has the ball with 53 seconds left on the NC State 4 yard line. I really need the touchdown to save the day. 2nd and goal so you figure I got 3 chances to get 4 yards and get the push. The fucking Florida St. QB drops the fucking ball. No pressure or anything, it hit the back of his RB and he drops the ball. NC State recovers. I'll recap once the Suns game is over, fucking hell.

$200 Giants/Rangers over 7 -105= Return of $390.48 (W)
$300 Columbus/Edmonton over 5.5 -120 (L)
$200 Phoenix Suns +7 -110= Return of $381.82 (W)
$400 Florida State -3.5 -110 (L)
Play of the Day:
$600 Florida State/NC State over 59 -110 (L)
Total Wagered: $1700
Total Returned: $772.30
Total Loss: $927.70
Total Earned to Date: $3175.15
Contact Info:
May the winners be ours. Taking over the world one step at a time. In case you haven't gotten the memo my name is Julius James and I'm the fucking shit.


While normal people wake up and turn the tv on to their local television channel or CNN I have a different routine. I get up and read various newspapers around the world. The Jamaican Gleaner, the Trinidad Express, the UK telegraph, the UK sun, the Botswana Herald and the Croatia Times are all in the rotation. I do it, not because I care of what's going on in the world around me but I like to see how fucked up people are in various parts of the world and what's the country ideology for these other places. Yesterday I came across the strangest shit I have ever heard of in my life, mechaphiles.

Some dude from Yelm, Washington is claiming to have sex with over 1000 cars and a helicopter. That isn't a typo, dude is having sex with cars. He's never had a relationship with human beings, since 15 years old he's been having sex with cars. The journalist dug deeper and found out that there is an increasing population of mechaphiles in the world, all who like to bang the shit out of cars and share their stories on forums. What. The. Fuck. Call me naive and I know that weird shit exists but there's about 10k people in this world that has relationships with cars. They marry them, dump them, cheat on them, have anal with them, give them oral, etc. I'm fucking lost. 16 years ago when I was attending Sunday school the teacher would be telling me "the world is such a beautiful place, God has given us everything we needed, he's preparing us for heaven and the world is a wonderful place to begin" Is this the fucking world she was talking about?

I'm not buying the excuse these people are "sick" either they work perfectly fine jobs they drink, smoke, watch sports like the rest of us, this isn't one of those things where they're secluded from the world. After the 9-5 is up they go home and fuck the shit out of their cars. The bible told me to love my neighbour, how the fuck am I supposed to love someone who bangs the exhaust pipe of a Ford Escort? Then the bible told me that we're all brothers and sisters. If my brother or sister was banging cars I'd shoot them in the face and be happy with whatever jail time I got. I can't wrap my head around this, mechaphiles. Everytime I get in a car for the next week I'm going to be wondering if the driver has had a sexual relationship with the car, thanks world.

Recapping the Night:
$300 Rangers -125 (L)
$300 Rockets/Warriors over 212.5 -110= Return of $572.73 (W)
NHL (Scott's Pick):
$200 ATL/NYR over 5.5 -115= Return of $373.91 (W)
Play of the Day:
$600 Knicks money line +105= Return of $1230 (W)
Total Wagered: $1400
Total Returned: $2176.64
Total Profit: $776.64
Total Earned to Date: $4102.85

Contact Info:
May the winners be ours. Taking over the world one step at a time. In case you haven't gotten the memo my name is Julius James and I'm the fucking shit.

Wednesday, October 27, 2010

I'm Scared, Real Scared.

Today's video is not safe for work but click it anyway and if you get fired just get a good lawyer to sue them claiming ageism or some shit. If you've viewed the video then you'll understand at what I'm getting at. I have a deep fear of something that has been disturbing me for a very long time. Death, unwanted children, the fear of being unemployed forever are all legitimate grounds to be scared. However, in my world I'm scared that I'm going to be forced to become a slave again. These hands aren't meant for picking cotton, the most strenuous activity they do is massage my dick. I like to drink pints of beer, sleep with mediocre girls, and gamble on sports, no where in there am I built for cheap labour yet I'm afraid that soon enough it's going to happen. Yes Massa!

It was only like 400 years ago they started moving us to the West Indies and American colonies where we worked for the white people and got our asses kicked. We were innocent then, look how things have changed. It's 2010, and we're jumping off rooftops to dry hump white girls and then we're ripping off her clothes. Martin Luther King, the lady who sat at the front of the bus (I forgot her name and don't feel like looking it up) and Gary Coleman have all died for our rights and freedoms. (the white people loved Gary and it made their perceptions of us change) So instead of getting a job or going to school and becoming something we've now decided to dry gang-bang white girls and act like savages. If they made us slaves when we were fucking innocent what the fuck will the white man do when we're guilty as shit?

You have a gay black dude telling people to hide your kids and husbands because they're raping everybody out here. The fuck? He has made at least 6 figures off that dumb shit. You have these Jamaicans humping the shit out of the white girl in today's video. You have Bishop Eddie Long who supposedly is homophobic sending pictures of himself to little boys. You have Plaxico Burress shooting himself in the foot and lastly you have Somalian pirates who live in huts stealing millions of dollars from ships. It's only a matter of time before white people get pissed off and start whipping us again to pick cotton. Is this all fucking necessary? Why can't we just get normal 9 to 5 jobs, watch sports and for our release we line-up on Friday's outside Popeyes Chicken and Biscuits and get ourselves the 3-piece instead of the 2. However, we much rather entertain ourselves by jumping on a white girl in the hood. It's coming and when it does I'll be here to say "I told you so."

Recapping the night: As terrible as the night was I find solace in the fact that I would have had a pprofitable night if I had gotten 3 more points in the Suns game. Brutal and it's something that is unmeasurable when betting on NBA, a team's ability to quit. 31-11 in that last quarter and I lost the over by 3 points. Oh well, hockey limited the damage any further, thanks Scott . 
Ncaa Football:
$300 over Boise St/LT 64 -110= Return of 572.73 (W)
$400 Boise St. -37 -110 (L)
$300 PHX/Trailblazers over 200.5 -110 (L)
$300 Lakers/Rockets over 195.5 -110= Return of $572.73 (W)
Scott's Pick:
$100 Leafs -1.5 +200= Return of $300 (W)
Play of the Day:
$600 Heat -105 (L)
Total Wagered: $2000
Total Returned: $1445.46
Total Loss: $554.54
Total Earned to Date:$3326.21

Contact info:
May the winners be ours. Taking over the world one step at a time. In case you haven't gotten the memo my name is Julius James and I'm the fucking shit.

Tuesday, October 26, 2010

My First Voting Experience.

Before I get into it I'm going to confess this is going to be ignorant as shit but it's how I feel so if you don't like it I suggest you take up mining in the Chilean mountains, funny how we forgot about those wannabe Mexicans already.

I'm 21 so I've been able to vote for a while now but I usually don't give a fuck about these things, it's like picking the lesser of two evils. However in today's mayoral election I actually did give a fuck so I went out and voted and dragged my mom with me. In the line to vote all I could see was black folks like this was the line outside KFC during toonie-Tuesday. Unfortunately I knew most of them and they were telling me "only pussyhole fi vote battyboy." The fuck? Okay so I lay my vote and in my ward there is a black counselor who held shit down for the past 90 years. However he's the negro who wishes he were white. I didn't want to vote for him but when I looked at the ballot and all I saw were names I couldn't pronounce I was like " fuck these refugees, let this negro take it."

But back to Rob Ford, why the fuck wouldn't I vote for the guy who has a DUI, Pot conviction, got ejected from the ACC, makes sure politicians gets taxed and donates 5 figures to high school football. I don't give a fuck what he plans to do, I identify with the blond John Candy. So I'm sitting here watching it all unfold and within minutes the KFC Double Down addict wins. I'm actually really pumped cause he's been to the "hood" a few times and I won't tell you anymore but the guy is cool, let's leave it at that. However, I'm watching the opposition, George Smitherman who is up there and he's crying like a bitch but he has his son with him who happens to be black. In my head I'm saying "shit dude fucks a black wife and got a black kid, I should have given him by vote." Then I wikipedia the guy to see how hot his wife is and wonder if I could get a wank off her, big mistake. Dude is gay and the black kid is adopted.

Now I know people are born like that and blah blah blah but personally, I wouldn't vote for someone who takes it up the ass and sucks dick. That's just me. Now those Jamaican comments were starting to make sense. I'm intrigued because everyone is bitching about how terrible Ford is, yet dude won by nearly 100k votes. This is where the real fun happens, I check the trending lists on twitter and there it was. Cyclists bitching about Rob Ford along with refugees and hippies who are afraid of what he will do to their art. I have never been on a bike and I don't know how to ride one because I grew up in poverty and owning a bike was never an option so fuck cyclists. I don't care for art unless it's that nude shit I used to jerk off to on fashion TV so fuck art. I wish all refugees would settle in Nunavut or Yukon so fuck them too.

I'm starting to think that this is the best thing that could happen to Toronto. All those pretentious assholes that line up at Nuit Blanche and hold vigils for gays who died from aids and like to play the Bongo will now leave the city. Rob Ford calls the Chinese "Orientals" and he's promised to stop letting them into Toronto. He's an alcoholic so I'm sure he'll do something with the crazy alcohol prices and we don't have to deal with cyclists or streetcars. What the fuck is there not to like about him? We've all made mistakes in our lives, I highly doubt the guy is going to get behind the wheel again while plastered, he represents the good of the working man. Fuck taxes, fuck cyclists, fuck art, fuck refugees, and fuck the suits who decide everything. I want the guy who doesn't give a fuck about anything but saving my ass money and keeping me entertained by his realism and individuality. Strangely, a lot of people in this city share the same feelings as I do but will never admit it, scary. Go democracy!

Recapping the Night:
$300 Giants money line +170= Return of $810 (W)
Scott's Pick (NHL):
$200 under 5 Mtl/Phx +110= Return of $200 (Push)
Play of the Day:
$600 Giants/Cowboys over 45 -110= Return of $1145.45 (W)
Total Wagered: $1100
Total Returned: $2155.45
Total Profit: $1055.45
Total Earned to Date: $3880.75
Contact info:
May the winners be ours. Taking over the world one step at a time. In case you haven't gotten the memo my name is Julius James and I'm the fucking shit.

Monday, October 25, 2010

Let me Bore You.

Sorry y'all I got another midterm. It starts at 12pm, it's now 9:22am and I really haven't studied yet. Time to speed read. In the mean time here's an article I wrote for a magazine in Manchester that was supposed to cover the Wayne Rooney situation, then the fucker changes his mind making the whole writing a waste. Enjoy (I'll recap and post picks when I get back:

Dejected, disgusted, disgruntled, and deflated. These are the words that captivated every Manchester United supporter’s emotions the day we found out Wayne Rooney no longer wanted to play for Manchester United. Eight years ago almost to the day we witnessed a 16 year old boy from the economically deprived Merseyside council estates score his first goal for United. Today, it has all come to an end. His lips are no longer implanted on the Manchester United badge he once kissed at Goodison Park. His voice no longer echoes the sentiments of signing a lifetime contract and retiring as a United player.  His body, mind and heart are no longer with us; they’re no longer with the ones who have supported him through hell and high water. He is fixated on something just six kilometres from Old Trafford, the City of Manchester Stadium. Eastlands which lacks the tradition, the trophies, and the culture that Old Trafford represents offers Wayne something we cannot: a gigantic, inconceivable  lucrative contract. We’ve dubbed him the “White Pele,” we’ve regrettably turned our heads every time he went to the ground without any contact and we’ve stood by him despite the endless unethical scandals that have followed him ever since he joined the club. He may have been born in Merseyside, he may have abandoned his childhood club and he may have went to ground easily on more than one occasion but he was one of us, at least that is what we thought. We were warned by Eric Cantona that this situation was always a possibility but we ignored the obvious signs using the justification “This is Wayne we’re talking about, his heart bleeds red.”  Instead we discover that his heart bleeds money and nothing else. He hasn’t found his world class form since March however the minute he walks through the door his desire to be striker will suddenly find its way, conveniently, into his heart. The rumours are pouring in that he wants to join Manchester City. The fact that his sister-in-law is terminally ill suggests that he would want to stay at home without the hassle of moving therefore it’s not far-fetched to hold the assumption that he goes to the Eastlands.  If I were a Manchester City supporter I’d be cautiously optimistic about the entire situation. There is no doubt Wayne will score goals and make your team a force that could compete with the best in Europe. He’ll play his heart out, fight until the final whistle and he will make you feel as though he is going to play for your club for life. Then there will be a time where he gets injured. The goals will stop pouring in, he’ll no longer kiss his badge, he will be distant, removed, and unmotivated. Then you will come to find out that he has been offered more money elsewhere and will deny this and state he has a strong desire to win. Then he’ll leave and shut the door on his way out. He has done it to Everton, he did it us and he will do it to you. Brace yourself and enjoy the ride because when it comes to an end you will question everything wondering where it went wrong. The answer: camouflage is used for a reason.

1pm NFL games:
$300 Steelers -3 +100 (L)
$300 Redskins +3 -110= Return of $572.73 (W)
$400 Ravens -12.5 -105 (L)
$300 49ers -3 +110 (L)
$300 Jacksonville +9 -115 (L)
$300 Saints -12.5 -115 (L)
Scott's Pick:
$200 Browns/Saints under 44 -110 (L)
Play of the Day:
$600 Patriots +115 (m/l)= Return of $1290 (W)
$1000 Patriots -110= Return of $1909.09 (W)
$400 Vikings/Packers over 43.5 -110= Return of $763.64 (W)
$200 Vikings money line +130 (L)
Total Wagered: $4300
Total Returned: $4535.46
Total Profit: $235.46
Total Earned to Date: $2825.30
Contact info:
May the winners be ours. Taking over the world one step at a time. In case you haven't gotten the memo my name is Julius James and I'm the fucking shit.

Sunday, October 24, 2010

Go Buy this Album

He might be a deranged Serbian degenerate with no hope at ever accomplishing much in life but he's one hell of an artist. I never promote shit and you know when you have songs on your album like " Coke to the Kids" "I smoke crack" and "White Van full of Mexicans" it's nothing short of a masterpiece. It costs $3 to purchase (if you think the album is worth more then you could literally buy it for more) and you get to listen to it first before purchase. It's one of those digital things. 

NCAA 12pm games (all -110):
$200 Notre Dame -6.5 (L)
$200 Penn St. -9.5= Return of $381.82 (W)
$200 Ohio State -23.5= Return of $381.82 (W)
$200 West Virginia -13.5 (L)
$200 Arkansas/Mississippi over 58= Return of $381.82 (W)
NCAA 3:30pm games:
$300 Cal -3 -110= Return of $572.73 (W)
$300 Louisville -3 -115= Return of $560.87 (W)
$300 Georgia Tech +4 -110 (L)
$300 Ok St/Nebraska over 58 -110= Return of $572.73 (W)
NHL (Scott's Picks):
$200 Montreal +105= Return of $410 (W)
$200 Chicago/Columbus over 5.5 -115 (L)
Play of the Day:
$600 Brock Lesnar -150 (L)
Total Wagered:$3200
Total Returned: $3261.79
Total Profit: $61.79
Total Earned to Date: $2589.84

Saturday, October 23, 2010

National Fuck You Day

Fuck you Joe Girardi you dumbfuck, yes we were outplayed all series but why the fuck would you put in Robertson. I would rather have seen Latroy fucking Hawkins. Fuck you A-Rod. $33 million for fuck all and Betty White would have been more productive. Either get back on the needle or start shagging Kate Hudson again because you were dire this post season. Fuck Ron Washington you Demond Wilson looking coke head. Congrats to you and the other slave masters Republicans that love your team. Fuck the Jays and there fans who were all over my twitter, facebook, and cell phone. Your team is fucking shit, your stadium is fucking shit and you won't win shit, ever again. So continue harping on the fact that you won 2 titles 90 years ago and how it was great to live that bitch ass experience. I hope you enjoy having the Red Sox pitching coach as your manager next year, he's done a great job on Dice K and company.

Fuck me for eating that piece of shit fries supreme from Taco Bell, that shit was fucking nasty and does not make me feel any better. Fuck Rogers for forcing me to see Greg Zaun's bitch ass face every time there was an innings break. They should pay me for dealing with that bullshit. Fuck USF who haven't scored an offensive touchdown since the slaves were freed and all of a sudden put up 38 points today. Fuck Wayne Rooney you dumb ass Scouse. We're well aware that City offered you $22 million and you were lobbying for more money but gave your bullshit "ambition" excuse. You tried to make Sir Alex a liar, you disrespected the club and you proved that you're a liar. Score goals and you'll be forgiven or I hope they transfer your ass in the Summer. Fuck you Pitbull, Usher, and all that other pop garbage. Your music sounds worse than the hoes who sang "God Bless America" all MLB postseason.

Fuck the cast of Jackass who were once relevant but just put out the crappiest movie since Reno 911. Fuck the View and people who watch the View. That shit is garbage and I rather spend time picking dandelions out of my yard than watching that bitch ass Tracy Chapman wannabe Whoopi talk shit. Fuck the parents who thought "Plaxico" was a good name for a kid. Fuck the NFL for not taking better care of the players who have an average lifespan of 55 years, and linemen who have an average lifespan of 52 years. Fuck Rochester Resources Minerals Company who didn't reach 0.12 cents today on the stock market and I have to wait til next week to make a pretty penny. Fuck the CFL because they allow a point (rouge) for no reason at all. Fuck the NFL for making games last over 6 hours because of all the timeouts, reviews and commercial breaks. Fuck Julia Roberts because she hasn't come out with a good movie since Erin Brokovich. Fuck people who wear scarves indoors. Fuck people who wear crocs. Fuck Neil Diamond. Lastly fuck every company that turned me down because of explicit content on this site. Rihanna has songs about killing herself and that's alright for the kids but If I say "fuck" it's the end of the world. Fuck you. 

Recapping the Night: My 6-0-1 play of the day record comes to an end, nonetheless a good run. 
$300 MTL -2 -110 (L)
$200 Tampa Bay +100 (Scott's Pick)= Return of $400 (W)
$200 Yankees/Rangers over 9 -115 (L)
Play of the Day:
$600 Cincinnati -8 -110 (L)
Total Wagered: $1300
Total Returned: $400
Total Loss: $900
Total Earned to Date: $2528.05

Contact info:
May the winners be ours. Taking over the world one step at a time. In case you haven't gotten the memo my name is Julius James and I'm the fucking shit.

Friday, October 22, 2010

Fat/Ugly People Should Not Have Any Authority

I've recently been hired to write a few fantasy football articles for a company based in the UK. Basically I let them know what's going on with injured lists, who to start, who to bench, who might have a break-out game etc. Now I'm not sure if the rest of society works like me but I work based on the cash. If I'm getting a lot of loot, expect me to work my ass off. If I'm getting fuck all then you might as well have hired a Mexican because I won't be doing shit. With that said this company pays well and in every article I write I make sure it's sufficient and beyond satisfactory for the audience who has to apply whatever I write, if they choose.

Every now and then I get a call which is basically a glorified ass-kissing session telling me how awesome I am and how subscriptions are up ever since I joined the team. I look forward to these calls because the woman who calls, my "boss", sounds fucking sexy on the phone. She could tell me "good morning" and that's enough for me to wank, it feels great having this chick ring me up bi-weekly and tell me I'm the shit, it's a minor victory in my life which is often filled with losses. Then I started thinking about the pussy. If ever I'm in the UK I could secure a place to crash, hot cooked meals and vagina on demand if I seal the deal with this hot voice on the phone so I start being flirtatious trying to get the keys to that vagina. It was fairly easy "hey I'm tired of talking to someone so beautiful who I can't see, could you send me a picture." I'm thinking this chick might be the British Jessica Alba or hell I'd even take Elizabeth Hasselbeck. Fuck me I wish I never asked. 

This girl sends me a picture and she looks like a real life Cartman with tits that sag to her ankles. It was so bad all I could do is stare in disgust. I'm trying to piece things together and she was very open about her sex life and all the guys she fucks and this chick has never gotten laid. There can't possibly be a dude out there that hit that I don't care if her vagina spews pounds of gold. Houston we have a problem, I'm no longer motivated to work. Knowing that Cartman is my boss has really tarnished things. I have no choice by the way, it's my brain it ain't me. I really do want to act like I give a fuck but my brain is telling me I shouldn't be motivated to work for Cartman, it's a really difficult situation. Then I think to myself, if there was an unwritten rule, none of this would occur. If the world didn't hire fat or ugly people and just let them pump gas and be greeters at Walmart then the world would be a much better place. So if you're in a position of authority please force the fat asses to quit so I could be motivated to work in the future, thank you. 

Recapping the Night:
$300 Phillies/Giants over 5.5 -125= Return of $540
$200 Islanders/Lightning over 5.5 -120 (L)
Play of the Day:
$600 Oregon/UCLA over 60.5 -110= Return of $1145.45 (W)
Total Wagered: $1100
Total Returned: $1685.45
Total Profit: $585.45
Total Earned to Date: $3428.05

Contact info:
May the winners be ours. Taking over the world one step at a time. In case you haven't gotten the memo my name is Julius James and I'm the fucking shit.

Thursday, October 21, 2010

Canadians are Fucking Crazy

I'm generalizing here and I'll upset some people but I don't care, y'all white Canadians are fucking crazy. The guy on the left is a Canadian serial killer, pretty fucked up right. Then you hear about how he broke into 82 homes, dressed up in a bra and panties, jerked off in little girls' hairbrushes so that they would be stuck with his semen, then killed women for fun. Nothing is funny about that but how can you not laugh after starring at that picture for more than 5 seconds. Where the fuck do you begin? Okay you like to jerk off in people's hairbrushes that's pretty fucked. Then you like to break into people's homes and dress up in their undergarments, that's more fucked. Then you like to rape women, okay that's more fucked. Then you kill people. I think this dude defines the word fucked up and  from now on when I want to describe something fucked I'm just going to call it Colonel Russell Williams.

It didn't end there for crazy Canadians this week. Rick Rypien, a Canadian hockey player who plays for the Minnesota Wild decided to take out some of his roid rage the other day. The only problem? He tried to beat up on some fans who didn't even do anything to him. What the fuck? You're an undrafted player from Coleman, Alberta. You've never played a full NHL season until you were 25 years old which means you fucking suck. When you die the only reason people will know you is because you put up some impressive numbers for the Regina fucking Pats. Now you want to ruin all this by beating up on fans, great job.

Then I read an article the other day about how the Canadian tourist minister "promises to attract more Chinese tourists to Canada" What the fuck? There is no such thing as Chinese tourists, they come by the dozen and share a little corner of people's basements permanently. There's like 1 billion of them living in Toronto alone and they have nasty ass restaurants, they have bad hygiene, they don't know how to drive and they can often be seen jaywalking on the freeway thinking this is Bangkok. Yet this motherfucker is promising to attract more of them. We don't fucking want more of them we want less. Needless to say between the Colonel who likes to jerk off on hairbrushes and kill people, the hockey player that beats up on fans, and the tourist minister who wants to bring more Chinese people over, I no longer have the desire to live here. I have a chick in Utah who I'll ask to live with and I hope she adopts the polygamous ideology shared in that region. It's a win-win.

Recapping the Night:
$400 Inter Milan -160= Return of $650 (W)
$200 Valencia +110 (L)
$400 Phillies/Giants over 8 +125= Return of $900 (W)
Total Wagered: $1000
Total Returned: $1550
Total Profit: $550
Total Earned to Date: $2842.60
Contact info:
May the winners be ours. Taking over the world one step at a time. In case you haven't gotten the memo my name is Julius James and I'm the fucking shit.

Wednesday, October 20, 2010

I don't Know How You Do It

With the parents gone this week I'm doing my best impression of being a single parent. Only difference is that because he's the youngest my parents spoiled his ass so I'm taking care of a guy who is more than capable of doing things on his own. The guy woke me up on Sunday at like 9am because he wanted to visit the Halloween store. You're 15 fucking years old, a grown ass man and you want me to take you to the Halloween store? I really don't know how you single parents do it and I'm dealing with a 15 year old cock, I could only imagine what it's like with a 2-year old or some bed-wetter that just started Kindergarten.

I have a full day of school, I come home and find a recipe off the net and I try my best to cook a hot meal. I'm fucking incompetent though so it takes me an hour and a half with preparation to complete any dish. Then I spend 30 minutes cleaning the kitchen and even though he's capable of making his own lunch for the next day, the dude makes a mess so I do that. I throw in a load of laundry and finally get a chance to watch my Yankees get raped. I barely have anytime to wank. Who the fuck wants to do this for the rest of their lives, the reward will never match-up to all the time you spent raising the kid. It's a lose-lose situation for most of you  single parents out there and that fucking sucks. 

Unless you're raising the next Hannah Montana or Justin Bieber and that kid could make millions of dollars you're pretty much fucked. The kid's going to grow up then blame his father for not being there and just live life all fucked up and make excuses every step of the way. Or you might have a kid who goes to University for art history and lives in your basement for the next 30 years and you have to do everything for them because they went out and got a shitty ass degree and they're now working at Michael's arts and crafts store talking about how great life is. Single parents, if I were you I'd be on craigslist personals, lavalife, e-harmony, plenty of fish, fuck if I was a single parent I'd be looking at this: Russian Brides for a Fee. I wouldn't be looking for Mr. or Mrs. Right either I'd take what I could get and the world is desperate enough out there to help you out because you're pretty much screwed if the kid turns out to be a shithead. 

Recapping the night:
 Lost $150

Contact info:
May the winners be ours. Taking over the world one step at a time. In case you haven't gotten the memo my name is Julius James and I'm the fucking shit.

Monday, October 18, 2010

No blog today

I want to do one but I spent the last 3+ hours watching the Yankees shit the bed and probably blow the season so it's time to cram for my Reason and Truth midterm tomorrow. Wish me luck. I'll post picks when I get back, around 1-2pm tomorrow. Good luck.

Recapping the Night:
Play of the Day:
$800 Jags +105= Return of $1640

They're Worse than The Jersey Shore Cast

Before I get into it today let me ask that you keep a few people in your thoughts and prayers. A friend of a friend lost her 7 month old child this past week, please say a prayer and also keep Rutgers DT Eric LeGrande who is now paralyzed from the neck down after the game vs. Army in your prayers. We take all this stuff for granted but God is always recruiting regardless of the age and you never know when something  or someone could be taken away from you.Then there's the kid who will never move again and all he wanted to do was play football and get an education. God bless them.

On a much lighter note, I'm on the bus Friday going to see Jackass. Of course because I live in Scarborough and white people refuse to sit at the back where the blacks sit, I get an empty seat at the back near some Jamaican girl. We got the whole backseats to ourselves because the whites are scared and rather stand in the crowded front. I wish I joined them. For about 5 minutes straight she's yelling into her phone. She keeps saying "hear wuh me ah say" and all this other gibberish. It's starting to piss me off and I start wishing I had a KKK costume but eventually she shut up. Then about 10 minutes later she realizes she misses her stop and gets up while the bus is going. I seen this coming a mile away, she gets up but the bus is going like 70km/hr and she's about to fall. I got 2 options, I either support her fat ass and try to catch her or do the smart thing, get the fuck out of the way. I dodged this girl like I was Adrian Petersen and she was a middle linebacker. Bam, she doesn't land on me and lands hard on the seat to which her head tilts back and hits the back, where there is no support.

So the Nutty Professor is now angry and says to me "yuh can't blood clot help me?" Full marks by the way for using a medical condition to express how you feel. To which I say "sorry is your blood turning into a solid state? if you lost a few pounds maybe you wouldn't suffer from blood clots." Now the white people in the front overheard this and start laughing, the female version of Fat Albert is getting mad and she storms off the bus and flips me off. That's when it hit me, Jamaicans are just as bad as the cast as the Jersey Shore. They come here with shitty ass dancehall music that is supposed to supplement reggae legends like Peter Tosh and Bob Marley. They talk about how they have the greatest land in the world and how amazing Jamaica is. So why the fuck did y'all emigrate and they have a version of "fist-pumping" except it's called "Dutty-Wine" and is fucking gay especially when men do it. (I'll post a link to the dance at the end of this entry, it's a must see.)

Besides the good weed these people really don't offer anything to anyone. The music isn't worth anything anymore because like everything else in the world it's a bunch of men in skinny jeans singing and dancing. The food used to be good but now there's a Caribbean store on every corner and most of the time they just microwave it. They used to have good beef patties but the Jamaican guy who runs the store has anger issues so I don't even go there anymore. These people are worse than emo kids who spend all day listening to Adam Lambert and dress up in capes. Always fucking angry thinking the world owes them something. Fuck you, fuck your shitty ass ackee and saltfish, fuck Snow for thinking he was one of y'all when he made up "Informer", fuck your english that no one understands and fuck the government for wasting all the welfare on you guys. I won't hate on Cool Runnings though, still one of my favourite movies of all time. I'm just playing Jamaicans, don't shoot me. 

Here's a video of the dance, watch the whole thing because there's a surprise at the end:

Recapping the night: Arghhhhhhh the push that shouldn't have pushed. Whatever, tomorrow's a new day.
NFL Early Games:
$400 Texans -4 -115= Return of $400 (Push)
$400 Giants -10.5 -105 (L)
$200 Browns/Steelers over 37.5 -110= Return of $381.82 (W)
4pm NFL games:
$200 Raiders +7 -115 (L)
$400 Cowboys +1.5 -110 (L)
Play of the Day:
$900 Colts -3 -115= Return of $900 (Push)
Total Wagered: $2500
Total Returned: $1681.82
Total Loss: $818.18
Total Earned to Date: $1602.60

Contact info:
May the winners be ours. Taking over the world one step at a time. In case you haven't gotten the memo my name is Julius James and I'm the fucking shit.

Saturday, October 16, 2010

Recapping Saturday Night

There's not much worse than thinking you pushed and celebrating. For whatever reason I got buzzed and mixed up Oklahoma St (+3) and South Carolina -5.5. I'm thinking I pushed with the SC game and then I look at my account, it's like a shot to the groin, life goes on blog returns Monday.

$500 Yankees -120 (L)
NCAAF 12pm games:
$200 Maryland +14.5 -110 (L)
$200 NC State -7.5 -110 (L)
$200 Texas A&M -3.5 -110 (L)
$200 Georgia -14.5 -110= Return of $381.82 (W)

NCAAF 3-5pm games:
$200 Iowa -3.5 -110= Return of $381.82 (W)
$200 Iowa/Michigan over 54 -110= Return of $381.82 (W)
$200 Ok St. +3 -115= Return of $373.91 (W)
$400 Arkansas +3.5 -115 (L)
$400 South Carolina -5.5 -110 (L)
Play of the Day:
$600 Pittsburgh (NCAAF) -2 -115= Return of $1121.74 (W)

Total Wagered: $3300
Total Returned: $2641.11
Total Loss: $658.89
Total Earned to Date: $2420.78

My Brother's First Taste of the Real World.

I have a 15 year old brother and I can't figure him out. He's disinterested in every single thing. He knows some hot chicks but I know he isn't getting laid. He hangs around some weed smokers but he doesn't get high. He gets decent grades has no interest in sports, girls, drugs, or anything. All he does, is post up on the wall of a Esso Gas Station after school and just hang. 365 days a year it's all he ever does, hang outside the front doors of an On the Run convenience store and occasionally get a Pepsi squishy with about 3 of his friends.  The kid is weird man usually at that age you're either being super rebellious or being super good but I can't figure the guy out. Anyways for the past month or so he's been talking about this KFC double down sandwich. Something about a sandwich with no bun but instead 2 pieces of chicken and bacon. My brother shows no interest in anything so it was weird seeing him all happy and shit that a KFC sandwich was coming to Canada.

Today I took him to get the combo and I swear I felt as though I was doing charity work for the Make-A-Wish foundation. Dude was so happy he couldn't even put on his seat-belt. We get to the counter, I make sure I get the Big Crunch with orange sauce this time because the mayo at this place looks a bit suspect and could very well be a body fluid I don't want to mention here. After about a 10 minute wait our food arrives (10 minutes because the Chinese girl who works the cash and the Tamil girl who cooks the stuff don't speak a word of english.) If you ever want to a free comedy show just go to KFC where there will inevitably be Chinese and Tamil refugees who try to communicate with various hand signals and seal-like grunts. The food arrives and we drive back home. Dude is racing from the car to the front door and he's the happiest I've ever seen since we went to a WWE event 6 years ago. Then it all fell apart.

He opens his sandwich and out comes this grotesque, rubbery thing.  It's like they took a small piece of a Michelin tire, added rank cheese, burnt bacon and called it a sandwich. I don't know what a colon looks like but if I were to anticipate what a colon were to look like, it'd be this KFC double down sandwich. I'm convinced my scrotum is bigger than that entire sandwich, he finished it in 4 bites. He looks at my mom and says "um this looks nothing like it did on tv" to which I intervene "welcome to the real world." The kid looked as though he just had his cock stapled to a board with a nail gun. Had I offered by brother the option, eat another double down sandwich or stay in a Chilean mine for 69 days he would have surely taken the mine option. Those 33 dudes had it easy, they didn't have to eat a KFC double down. This is what life is about folks: aids, disappointment, and the hope that tomorrow things won't be as fucked up as today. Welcome to the real world. 

Recapping the night: 
$300 Toronto +1.5 -105 (L)
$200 Yankees/Rays under 8.5 -130 (L)
$500 Yankees -150= Return of $833.33 (W)
$400 Cincy/L'Ville over 58.5 -110= Return of $763.64 (W)
Play of the Day:
$600 Cincinnati -2.5 -115= Return of $1121.74 (W)
Total Wagered: $2000
Total Returned: $2718.71
Total Profit: $718.71
Total Earned to Date: $3079.67

Contact info:
May the winners be ours. Taking over the world one step at a time. In case you haven't gotten the memo my name is Julius James and I'm the fucking shit.

Thursday, October 14, 2010

Where Do I Sign Up?

Recently there was a soccer match in Genoa, Italy between Serbia and Italy for Europe qualification. The game lasted all but 10 minutes before the traveling supporters, the Serbians stopped the match with their actions. They burned an Albanian flag, they attacked the team buses, they decided to throw things on the pitch and then started promoting fascism. The social networks were buzzing with "oh my God the horror" while other people who haven't thrown a snowball in their lives were talking about how amazing and hardcore the scenes were and just kept on dick-riding (I've been trying not to cuss so I could make more money but I can't help it)

Then you have me, wondering where the hell do I sign up. Do I care about international soccer? Not one bit. Do I care about foreign affairs in Serbia, Albania, Turkey, etc..not really but damn when you look at the whole situation, it's not a bad life at all, heck I even did research. The guy in today's picture is Ivan Bogdanov. A 30 year old Serbian Ultra/hooligan/thug who has a deep military past and leads the supporter group for the Serbian domestic team, Red Star Belgrade. Look at him, who the hell would hire him? I wouldn't trust this guy to deliver my newspaper. Yet him, and his 300 or so followers don't work, they look well fed, they could afford clothes and the most alarming fact, they travel to different countries and voice their displeasure at the world. What the hell. Why the fuck can't that be me. Here I am working my ass off on a paper about Natives and the effects of seclusion and somewhere on the other side of the world there are people my age going to different countries, burning things down and going back home to do it again next week.

Ivan was arrested for about 6 hours then released. Next week he'll probably be burning more things to protest the management of Red Star Belgrade. He probably gets laid by high school seniors that are impressed with his tattoos and military past. Why the hell am I not living that life? I'm not interested in burning flags or doing the Hitler Salute but shit I want to voice my displeasure just like everyone else. Here I am flicking channels and I'm forced to tolerate things like "guidos" "men who call themselves Barbies" "skinny jeans" " Bieber-mania" and "fist pumping." Or, I could travel to war torn countries, burn a couple flags and voice my displeasure for my own race and I get to travel the continent and burn things and not worry about consequences. You be the judge, is Ivan really as immoral as Justin Bieber or the Black Eyed Peas? Who is the real criminal? I'm ready to hand in my degree and burn things for a living come on y'all you know you want too....

Recapping the Night: Bunt singles....When you grab a -3 and the score works out to 59-7 in your favour then it's natural to feel like you want more than the double digits I've earned last night. Patience and bunt singles lol
College Football:
$200 South Florida +10.5 -110 (L)
$300 West Virginia/South Florida over 44 -110 (L)
Play of the Day:
$600 Kansas State -3 -105= Return of $1171.43
Total Wagered: $1100
Total Returned: $1171.43
Total Profit: $71.43
Total Earned to Date: $2360.98

Contact info:
May the winners be ours. Taking over the world one step at a time. In case you haven't gotten the memo my name is Julius James and I'm the fucking shit.


It has been beaten to death but I'd like to get my word in before the chapter closes, it's all I could offer. I was plumped down on the futon watching the Rays/Rangers game last night while listening to music from "Sia" (google her she's really talented.) The game wasn't going as planned so I decided to switch channels and watch the Chilean mine rescue that everyone was talking about. The television was on mute so I don't have to hear "analysts" or "experts" tell me what to think but I just sat there and watched as the first four men were rescued. Naturally, I would have held the reaction "there are 33 Bangladeshi teens suffering while making the Jordans I wear so I don't care about this event" but I didn't feel like that this time. For a rare moment I felt connected to the world. Beneath the ridiculous messages on twitter, facebook, myspace and whatever else people use to make them feel important, I for once felt connected with the majority.

The social networks were out in full force with the standard mindless crap that has enough power to make me jump off a bridge but I tuned everything out and just watched the rescuers. One of them started yelling Chile, Chile, Chile screaming that nationalism crap and I was in awe at the loyalty, the connection that was being displayed for everyone witnessing the event. Beneath it all (no pun intended) I started looking at how these guys managed to survive and it's nothing short of remarkable. I looked back at my life and started to take a mental note of everytime I was unhappy. I got fined in school, I was unhappy. I ordered a Big Crunch sandwich from KFC and it didn't come with the spicy orange sauce, I was unhappy. I had to cut some of my sponsors, I was unhappy. My parents invited some strangers to stay over while they're gone, I was unhappy. I came home from a 13 hour day last week and there was nothing in the fridge, I was unhappy. Yet there are 33 guys in front of me, all ranging from the ages 18-63 who survived on 17 days without food let alone 69 days under a massive rock and they come out looking as though had just stayed at a 4 star Manhattan hotel.

Then it hit me. I finally understood why I felt such a connection to the world I always despised. Every single one of us are those Chilean miners who are trapped under a rock and dying to get out. For me personally, I feel myself trapped underneath the rock of cynicism that often consumes my life. For someone else it's the addiction of crack. For another person it's the fact that they married the one they despise and can't get out of the relationship. Whatever the issue is, I saw myself in every single Chilean miner that was rescued. Then you hear the stories about how they felt the presence of God with them and literally held his hand. Regardless if it's true or not, it's the factor that got them out of a near detrimental situation. In these 33 miners I found hope that just like them, I might be able to get out one day and that's a good enough excuse for living and loving the consumer-filled, financially-possessed, immoral world I live in. Forget the standard facebook messages or whatever Wolf Blitzer is saying or the compassion that the rest of the world feels and be thankful that tomorrow could very well be the day that you get rescued from the rock that is keeping you trapped.

Recapping the night: 
Play of the Day:
$600 UCF -5 -110 (W)
Total Profit is $545.45
Total Earned to Date: $2289.55
Contact info:
May the winners be ours. Taking over the world one step at a time. In case you haven't gotten the memo my name is Julius James and I'm the fucking shit.

Tuesday, October 12, 2010

Telling You How I Really Feel

See, I could easily put up some positive bullshit about life and not only would I be a better person but my picks wouldn't suck so much. Then again it'd all be fabricated bullshit so more hatred for everything that isn't me:

A couple years ago, when I used to make good money I'd go to school and pretty much get wasted. I worked with the school pub bartender at other venues so everything was on the house. I'd go, get hammered and go to class. I have this problem where alcohol irritates my bladder so I'd just be pissing people off in lectures, walking to the bathroom incoherently and often making large grunt noises. These days are long gone. I'm in an effort to become a better person so I try, emphasis on the word try, to become a better person.

Let me take you back to last week. I have an hour to kill and the school decided to jack up beer prices because they know fuck all. It now costs $5 for a bottle of Canadian. So I decide to hit up my friend in the computer lab who is inevitably "sexting" his French girl and listening to fucking T-Pain. I go to the lab, put my bag down and bring out the Fries and Hamburger I got for $4.75. I hadn't eaten all day and I thought why the fuck not. Almost immediately this Aghan looking girl comes up to me and says "Sir you can't eat here." The old me would have told her to eat me but I'm trying to change so I say, "sorry" and I put the stuff back into my bag. She then asks me for my student card. Okay now she's taking it too far because she's acting like a motherfucking border guard and I'm increasingly fighting the urge to ejaculate on her veil while singing "What a Wonderful World." But no, the nice guy in me gives her the card and I bite my tongue. She does something with it it, probably stuck it up her cunt after watching my sexy face (come on now you know I'm sexy) and she gives it back.

Today, one week later, I find out I've been fined $3.08 for some school infraction. Bull-fucking-shit. This clearly isn't about the money, this is about principle. This Afghan should be motherfucking thankful she isn't in Kabul dodging bombs and tossing the salad of the Taliban. She could barely fucking speak english but yet I have to listen to her war-torn, world-vision loving ass. You ain't no NYPD you bitch. Fucking hell ain't nothing worse than losing a bet and being alerted that you have to now pay $3.08 cents because some dumb Afghan refugee who shouldn't even be in the country decided to use the pussy ass authority she has to fuck you over for a half of a pint. The only reason she's a fucking hall monitor is because it's her last ditch effort of finding some freak to fuck her hairy cunt because if she doesn't find someone her father will marry her off to her brother. Yet I'm the motherfucking one that has to pay the fine. Fucking hell this girl should be thankful she isn't married to some 65 year old pedophile in Saudi Arabia who sticks Coke Zero bottles up her butt and films it. However me, the dude who speaks proper english (semi) gets decent grades and didn't ride on a donkey to my high school has to pay a $3 fine because some dumb bitch said so.

Recapping the Night: Was prepared for this, I have to learn to stop hitting home runs and settle for bunt singles, too ambitious.
Loss of $800 on the night
Total Earned to Date: $1744.10

Contact info:
May the winners be ours. Taking over the world one step at a time. In case you haven't gotten the memo my name is Julius James and I'm the fucking shit.

United Nations Week Cancelled

This weekend was supposed to be my "kick back on the futon and watch MASH/Hogan's Heroes weekend." Fuck was I wrong. See my parents are going away for a bit, next week I got the house to myself. Being the responsible man I am, I went to Bed, Bath, and Beyond (no homo). I picked up scented candles, silk sheets, and this kick ass soap dispenser. I withdrew some blog money so it didn't really matter, I went all out. See for the upcoming week I was planning on having something I'd like to call "United Nations Week" I was going to have a chick from like every country and I'd just be plowing right through and onto the next one. Uruguay, Portugal, hell even Senegal was invited, it was going down. To make matters worse I also got midterms/exams so it was going to be a busy week.

So Saturday morning came around, a week before my parents were expected to leave, my mom comes down to the basement and says "Hey do you remember my second cousin from NJ." I said oh ya ( I haven't seen her in 2+ years). My mom replies " Well her husband's on vacation and they have no place to go so when we are in Mexico they asked if they could come over with the kids, oh and they're bringing a friend or two." (Insert the most grotesque, vulgar response you could think of here) See, for the past 6 weeks they have drilled me on how to take care of the house. Now, during exam time and what was supposed to be United Nations Week, I have to take care of people I don't even know. After all this they have the audacity to say " This works out better for us because we'll be in Mexico so we don't have to take care of them and they'll take care of themselves so you don't have to bother.

Okay, so my entire Thanksgiving weekend, it was on. If you thought the Vietnam war was fucking bad you should have been in my house. Not even white people do this to their kids. See I might have actually calmed down and not slammed my hand in a wall if they had admit they were wrong and just said "we understand your point of view." But no, for 3 motherfucking days, 72 fucking hours I had to hear about how I'm selfish and they tried to throw morality down my throat "God would have wanted it." So fuck it, I didn't want to do this but I am. Enjoy, I know you will, admit it: (An Open Letter to my Parents):

Dear Mom and Dad,

Do I look like MOTHERFUCKING MARY POPPINS TO YOU. Do I walk around in a fucking black dress and an umbrella saving people. I'm not TIM FUCKING TEBOW, I don't care about bible verses and I don't fucking save Filipino Orphans. I don't give a fuck about what is right or wrong. You continuously asked me "what to do if you were in our position." Well you know what I would have said " Fuck you, I'm not running a motel 6, I'm not home and my kid wants to bang Taiwanese strippers all week long so go to the fucking Holiday Inn." I'd like to fucking thank you mom and dad. You showed me what not to do in life. You trusted everyone and everyone practically fucked you over. You helped out your broke ass brother and what did he do? He fucking went and blew it on Lakeport. For fuck sakes the man didn't even buy premium beer. He drank Lakeport until he fucking went bankrupt and you thought he was going to use the money to take care of his kids. Don't think I forgot about you Pops. You worked 1 fucking long day in the last 10 years, 1 fucking day of overtime and everyone has to hear about how "hard your job is." You've been coming home at noon for the past 10 fucking years but the 1 day you work overtime and it's the end of the world. Everything you two have done I've done the complete opposite. You went to church, I went to the Woodbine Racetrack and gambled with the old Jamaican pensioners. You told me to wait until marriage to have sex, I banged that upside down lips girl when I was 14 and jumped from the second story balcony when her mom came in. You told me not to do drugs, I'm going to smoke a fat spliff tomorrow. You told me you wanted me to become a doctor or a lawyer, I'm going to be making minimum wage serving bullshit ass soup and crackers at CULTURES. You hate your lives, I love mine.

Recapping the night: I'd say I was lucky but after the BC Lions fucked up by blowing a 21 point lead with 15 mins left, I think it was just payback that I got the pick 6.
$300 Braves/Giants over 7 -120 (L)

$300 Montreal/Calgary over 56 -110= Return of $572.73 (W)
$300 BC Lions +3 +110 (L)

$400 Jets -4.5 -110- Return of $763.64 (W)

Play of the Day:
$600 Jets/Vikings over 38.5 -110= Return of $1145.45 (W)

Total Wagered: $1900
Total Returned: $2481.82
Total Profit: $581.82 
Total Earned to Date: $2544.10

Contact info:
May the winners be ours. Taking over the world one step at a time. In case you haven't gotten the memo my name is Julius James and I'm the fucking shit.