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Tuesday, November 30, 2010

But I love Her

I typed in "black mom" in google images and a picture of Alicia Keys was the first thing that came up so that explains that. For the past month or so my mom has been coming down to the basement til 3am because she can't sleep. It really cuts into my wanking time but I can't say it's all that bad; it's scary how similar we are. She tells me who is banging who in her office, she tells me which one does cocaine, which dude is cheating on his wife, I ain't gonna lie I love mindless gossip so I dig this shit. Then she tells me about her crazy ass family, which also happens to be my crazy ass family. For starters I got a cousin, that negro is like 8 years old, he might still be 7 but I think dude got a late birthday. His name is Kyron and that dude is still getting titty-milk. That's just the start though here's a funny ass story which isn't supposed to be funny but is to me. She also has a cousin David, who was deported and while I loved that crackhead it was amazing to see how she'd deny everything. "Mom that nigga got 18 charges on his rap sheet including attempted murder and some say he raped someone." Her response was always "ya but no one saw anything, they lying on the boy." Yup, people lie about 18 charges over a decade. Then she'd bitch at me for not going to church for the past 5 years so I'd drop it.

However, the reason she hasn't been sleeping for the past month is because of another cousin back home in Trinidad. This useless negro's name is "Fat-Man" (I don't know his real name, since I have been 3 years old I only know him as fatman even though that dude is fucking skinny, it's fucked up). He got no money, no house, no job and he's currently trying to fight a case for having sex with someone between the ages of 14 and 16. In Trinidad homos are sentenced to 25 years in jail if they are caught having sex (only enforced on the men) but if you bang a minor you're only facing 12. So this dude is 35 years old and being accused of banging a 15 year old and he lost everything trying to fight this case, which is still on-going. My mom thinks he's innocent because her brother and sister, who both live in Trinidad told her so. They claim the girl's family knows "Fatman" and are trying to exploit him for land and money.

No one knew about Fatman's whereabouts because he was in jail for a bit then I assume he got enough money to pay the judge and got out until his trial began. So for the past month my mom can't sleep because once again a family member is being accused for a crime they didn't commit in her eyes and she's tight with these people. She comes down to the basement, interrupting my skype-sex and she tells me of how the good die young and people are always trying to hold people down and he's innocent and he'll fight the case because it's in the Lord's hands. I just nod my head and picture having sex with with some of my female blog readers (yup I said it and you know who you girls are too) so it makes the whole ordeal pretty fun. Finally today around 6pm Fatman called to let my mom know he was home from jail. The first thing my mom said was "the devil will deal with those who lied and made up stories about all that nastiness." Here was Fatman's response " No, No, No I love her and want to be with her the rest of my life. She was going to run away with me and we were supposed to get married, then the family called the cops." I was listening to this phone convo because he was screaming so he said this before she hung up " But I still love her..." I have never cried so hard while laughing and the look on her face was priceless, if I never see another happy-moment in my life I don't need one because this was the funniest thing I'll ever get to witness, ever. (I don't condone that nasty shit either but the phone convo was truly amazing. )

Recapping the night: I'm bitter the fucking Heat. Up 20 with 2:30 left and then the bench comes off and the bum-ass Wizard score 11 to cover, with a meaningless dunk with 12seconds left and the shot-clock was out.

Play of the Day:
$600 SF 49ers -1.5 -110= Return of $1145.55 (W)
$500 Real Madrid/Barcelona over 2.5 goals -140= Return of $857.14 (W)
$400 over 28.5 grand salami -110 (L)
$400 Miami Heat -13 -110 (L)
$200 Minnesota/Virginia over 133 -110= Return of $381.82 (W)
$200 St. Peters/Seton Hall under 122 -110= Return of $381.82 (W)
$200 George Washington/NC Wilmington over 130 -110= Return of $381.82 (W)
$400 TCU/USC over 128.5 -110= Return of $763.64 (W)
Total Wagered: $2900
Total Returned: $3911.79
Total Profit: $1011.79
Total Earned to Date: $7143.56
 Contact Info:
May the winners be ours. Taking over the world one step at a time. In case you haven't gotten the memo my name is Julius James and I'm the fucking shit.

Monday, November 29, 2010

Just Strange

I took the last few days off in an effort to complete a bunch of papers and start studying for exams. Within 5 minutes I said fuck this shit and spent the last week or so watching daytime television. While I'm about to crack on a specific network let me say that anything shown during the daytime trumps that bullshit-ass Grey Cup I watched. As a matter of fact, everything on tv, ever, even the CPAC channel is loads better than any CFL game. Anyway so for one reason or another I decided to join my people in being an unproductive black dude. I'd wake up, brush my teeth and just watch tv and gamble til 4am. One channel I watched over the last few days was OLN because they have some interesting shows, specifically Man vs Food, Mantracker, and Survivorman.

Let's start with Man vs. Food, I heard about it before but never really took the time to watch it. It's about some dude who goes to different diners and eats 6lbs of burger and fries within an hour for a t-shirt and to have his picture in a wall. It's kind of like watching Midget porn, you want to look away but you're desperate to see the ending, you stick around. (or am I the only one that has seen midget porn) That white dude is fucked, I did a bit of research and he does get checked out by doctors and starves himself for a bit before each challenge but the human body isn't meant to consume 6lbs of food in one hour. 10 minutes in he's sweating and shit, talking about how he's enjoying the food. This dude never takes a bite all he ever does is swallow that shit, then look like he's about to puke. Finally he'll get a "burst of energy" and will either eat it or fail. Either way that shit was fucking strange.

Then there was Mantracker. Some redneck motherfucker on a horse trying to catch people. It's fucking easy when you're on a horse-old man, come to Scarborough and try that shit. Either way I had seen this shit before but never did I watch it continuously like I did this week. The first 3 episodes, it was fucking boring as shit. Dude is on a horse, he sees the people within 10 minutes, but will drag it on for another 50 minutes and catch people near the finish line. However, the last episode I seen was the most fucked up shit ever. These 2 guys who were trained in the forest decided to just walk in circles to fuck this Mantracker guy up. He was thoroughly frustrated because he had no idea where they were. They keep walking in circles setting up traps and shit. Finally there near the finish line, only a km away. All of a sudden, a motherfucking dog barks. Your in the dead ass woods in Northern Ontario and you're expecting me to believe that a friendly ass dog right at the end of the finish line just doing its own thing waiting for an owner. The dog barks and he catches them in no-time. That shit is fixed man.

Finally there was Survivorman. Another white dude who goes off in various places with nothing but a camera to teach people how to survive. I don't know about you but I can't wait til I get stuck in the Northwest territories because Survivorman says it can happen at any time. This shit, indicative of my week just kept getting worse and worse. In 4 episodes I seen this guy drink his own urine, drink muddy ass water which he stated "probably has urine and animal feces but I'm willing to take the chance," he ate all sorts of nasty shit like hornets, ants, and grass. He played his harmonica for Buffalos and pretended to catch planes by pointing a magnifying glass at the sun.

So while you people were at work, fucking your significant others, earning money, pissing time away in traffic and paying taxes. I was watching OLN. I live the good life.

Recapping the night: Lost a grand on 2 half points. It just shows how significant points can be. Should have bought it down for the CFL game though. Nothing to say about that Indy/Chargers over though that was painful. Oh well I won't go ape shit crazy, tomorrow is another day.

1pm NFL:
$400 Steelers -6 -115 (L)
$200 Skins +2 -110 (L)
$200 Jags/Giants over 44 -110= Return of $200 (P)

4pm NFL:
$300 Eagles -3 -110 (L)
$300 Raiders/Fins over 38 -110= Return of $572.73 (W)
$400 Colts/Chargers over 50.5 -110 (L)

$600 Hawks -1 -110= Return of $1145.55 (W)
$200 Knicks +2 -110= Return of $381.82 (W)
$200 OKC -2 -110 (L)
$200 Denver/Phoenix under 220.5 -110 (L)
$200 Trailblazers -4.5 -110 (L)
$300 Lakers/Pacers over 203 -110 (L)

$200 LSU -3 -110= Return of $381.82 (W)
$200 UNC -13.5 -110 (L)
$200 Penn St. -12.5 -110= Return of $381.82 (W)

Play of the Day:
$600 Alouettes -3.5 +100 (L)

Total Loss: $1636.26
Total Earned to Date: $6131.77

Contact Info:
May the winners be ours. Taking over the world one step at a time. In case you haven't gotten the memo my name is Julius James and I'm the fucking shit.

Sunday, November 28, 2010

New Day

I'll post picks in a bit. I'm done trying to make money off this. I got to stop forcing shit and let it come (that's what she said). Let me know if anything sticks out for you guys

Saturday, November 27, 2010


Just to put things in perspective Boise St. is up 31-24 with 4 minutes left. I got the over (68) for 3 dimes and I got them on -17.5 in game for 3 dimes. Lost the latter bet. So Nevada score with 13 seconds left. It's now 31-31. I need 6 points and I'm 13 seconds away from OT. With 9 seconds left, Boise St. launch the motherfucking ball and dude catches it (spectacular catch at the 7). Now I'm near-tears thinking. What. The. Fuck. 

Kid, who is one of these near perfect kickers, misses from the 26 yard line. Into OT we go. Boise get the ball, 4th down. Kid misses another one from 29 yards. 31-31. Nevada get it and score a FG. I'm sitting here shaking like a leaf wondering what the fuck just happened. Won't ever forget this game, worst defeat of my life. 

Friday, November 26, 2010

The Journey is Better than the Destination

You know they say the journey is always better than the destination. Hell of a pick don't get me wrong but shit I was dying for 2.5 hours. Now I look at my account, almost 10k and I'm thinking now what. Still something inside of me still not satisfied, can't explain it. Good win though let's keep it rolling. Full day of college football tomorrow and I'm going to hit a lot. I'll be aggressive but not suicidal. NBA, NCAAF, NCAAB, I want my groove back. Few changes, won't post units anymore under play of the day cause I got 46 units today and adding that up would just be unfair.

Also, I'm adding a User Submitted Picks section. This shit has taken off, everyone's input is welcome. Some people might not have the chance to sift through comments looking for picks so if you have any picks, regardless of what they are, please post them because someone is always looking. Best of luck, let's get it tomorrow. 

Blog returns on Monday I've managed to consistently drink since about 7am this morning, now 1am and I'm a mess lol. 

$5168.97 Patriots -6.5= Return of $9868.03 (W)

$800 Saints -3.5 -110 (L)
College Football:
$800 Texas/Texas A&M over 47.5 -110 (L)

Thursday, November 25, 2010

Happy Thanksgiving down South

No blog today I'm trying not to fuck up my bet with negative shit. Karma's a bitch when she wants to be. Happy Thanksgiving to everyone celebrating. Will post a few other picks in the morning with the loot I made today! Best of luck to everyone, I hope I come out alive. Will post picks throughout but because I'll be drunk for the next few days, no blog til Monday. Peace.

Wednesday, November 24, 2010

Unlikiest Man in the World

White people, who are never shy of showing how fucked up they can be ,have done it again. The chick on the left is Rachelle Friedman, she was supposed to get married next month. However, Rachelle surrounds herself with dumbass friends who thought it was a good idea to push her into a pool. She fucked herself up by hitting her head at the bottom of the pool, broke her entire body and now she'll never be able to walk again. She has no feeling beyond her neck and takes a shitload of pills to deal with the unbearable pain. After all that, this bitch ain't even mad at her friends. Any of you cock-sucking faggots ever break my back and I'm hiring some Russians to make sure you no longer exist. 

However I'm not here to talk about Rachelle, I'm here to talk about her man, Chris Chapman. He still plans on getting married to her. I know love is great and blah blah, but dude you ain't ever going to hit that. I don't mean to be rude but if I'm in my 20s and some chick breaks her neck, I'm going faster than a black dude in front of a positive pregnancy test. There's only so much oral someone can do before it gets redundant, it ain't like she can even move her hands to jerk you off. The only way this story makes any sense is if she let's him fuck whoever she wants. If this chick is marrying the dude and he's expected to be faithful to her, then wow. He's a better man than me. Never mind the chick has use of a thumb, how the fuck can she jerk you off with one thumb? That's besides the point.

In this story where the media paints it as though this chick is determined to walk again, I want to know more about her man (no homo.) She was an aerobics instructor so clearly she had one of those white-girl-asses where you  can bounce a dime off of it. He can't hit that again and these two are playing it off like everything is great. It's bugging the shit out of me because it sounds too perfect. First of all the girl needs to release a statement where she says " Fuck the bitch ass hoe that pushed me in a motherfucking pool, I hope she loses a limb." Then her man needs to come out and say " Listen I love you and all but I need more than head, let me fuck other hoes or I'm going to walk in the other direction (I chose walk for a reason)" Instead we get these Romeo and Juliet stories and we all knows how it ends, either way I know I'd love to see how this couple would do it. There's a market for paralyzed porn stars, don't judge me you know you'd like to see it as well.

Recapping the Night: It's always a matter of when. You know it's coming, you know you'll click one day and it will be wrong from the get-go. But you do it anyway. It happens, time to move on, I got one last thing up my sleeve. 
$200 Cavs/Pacers over 199 -110 (L)
$200 Knicks -2.5 -110 (W)= Return of $381.82 (W)
$400 Hawks -3 -110 (L)
$400 Lakers/Bulls over 201.5 -110 (L)
Scott's Pick:
$100 Real Madrid/Ajax over 2.5 -130= Return of $176.92 (W)
$100 AC Milan +125= Return of $225 (W)
$100 Real Madrid +115= Return of $215 (W)
$100 Arsenal -110 (L)
College Basketball:
$300 Washington -3 -110 (L)
$300 Marist/Wake Forest over 140.5 -110 (L)
$300 Marquette -2.5 -110 (L)
$300 Duke -5.5 -110= Return of $572.73 (W)
Play of the Day:
$600 Temple -6.5 -110 (L)
Bail-out special:
$2500 Lakers/Bulls over 201.5 (L)

Total Wagered: $5900
Total Returned: $1571.47
Total Loss: $4328.53
Total Earned to Date: $6168.97

Contact Info:
May the winners be ours. Taking over the world one step at a time. In case you haven't gotten the memo my name is Julius James and I'm the fucking shit.

Tuesday, November 23, 2010

Time to Get The Fuck Out of Here

It's that time of the year again. While everyone gets warm and fuzzy because Christmas is just around the corner I'm sitting here left wondering what the fuck my parents were thinking moving up here. It starts getting dark at 3:30pm, it's cold as shit and the girls look like the Michelin man with all those layers. To make things worse I was watching Sportscentre the other night and they were showing Saskatchewan Roughrider fans partying after the team won. It was something stupid like -35 and there were a considerable amount of black people there, had me wondering what the fuck is going on.

Yet I'm watching Monday night football in San Diego and while it probably gets dark early as shit there around this time of year these motherfuckers are all in t-shirts and shorts. So I did a little research, despite the hundreds of thousands of Mexicans they have, it seems like a kick ass place. The median income for males were 36k so the shit was affordable, the housing was cheap because the recession hit and the broke Mexicans were forced to leave, and there are beaches and hot white hoes. When shit gets boring because it does seem like a fairly dull place, Tijuana is less than 10 miles away, Los Angeles is 2 hours away and both Phoenix and Nevada are 5 hours away. Perfect for either day trips or a one night get away. Why the fuck am I not living in San Diego?

Look at this shit: click here. That's Downtown San Diego. All I need is a motherfucking job that doesn't stress me out and preferably work from home and I'm set. I hate this motherfucking cold. Every year I put up with it for like 6 months and it's fucking gay. If someone told me I'd get to move to San Diego with job security and all I had to do was sleep with Betty White I'd strongly consider. I know one of you motherfuckers are reading this from Cali, hook a brother up. Hell I'd even move to Fresno however San Diego is my first choice. Let's make it happen. (waits for the tumbleweed to roll by)

Recapping the Night: Misery followed by success. Fitting for my life. 
NCAA Basketball:
1pm: $200 Alabama -11.5 -110 (L)
3pm: $300 UConn -2 -110= Return of $572.73 (W)
4:30pm: $300 Wisc-GB -1.5 -110 (L)
4:30pm: $300 Iowa -1.5 -110 (L)
5:30pm: $400 Boston/Hampton over 124.5 -110 (L)
7pm: $600 Wake Forest/Winthrop over 130 -110= Return of $1145.45 (W)
$400 Celtics/Hawks over 192.5 -110 (L)
$400 Nuggets -2 -110= Return of $763.64 (W)
Scott's Picks:
$100 Sunderland +160 (L)
$400 Boston/Tampa over 5.5 +110 (L)
$200 Sunderland/Everton over 11 corners +100 (L)
Player Prop:
$200 Phillip Rivers over 307.5 yards -110 (L)
Play of the Day:
$600 Chargers/Broncos over 50 -110 (L)

$2500 Virginia/Washington over 145 -110= Return of $4772.73 (W)

Total Wagered: $6900
Total Retuened: $7254.55
Total Profit: $354.55
Total Earned to Date: $10,497.60

Contact Info:
May the winners be ours. Taking over the world one step at a time. In case you haven't gotten the memo my name is Julius James and I'm the fucking shit.

Grueling, Long day

I'll blog before noon I hope. Cashed the Bail-out special though, hope some of you did as well. I'm going to bed and I look like a 83 year old Urban Meyer. Peace.

Monday, November 22, 2010

I have A Dream

I'm at a very weird spot. My gambling account has 10 grand profit. Pretty fucking cool for the average Joe but for someone like me I can't even fucking touch it. I'm convinced my mom has my bank account details, I'm also getting a sweet deal with TD because she works with them. If I withdraw, the questions will be asked and ya, in other words I got 10 grand I can't fucking touch. So instead of saying the Lord has blessed me blah blah, I'm going to fucking vent, particularly at my mom. Fucking parents. 

While I was in Cleveland, my cousin had a kid. Some baby named Alex. Who the fuck names their kid Alex, it rolls off the tongue like a homo (sorry if any of my readers are named Alex, I know what it's like to have a gay ass name. My real first name is Aaron) So my mom comes down to the basement the other day and tells me " Your father and I are going to see the baby on Saturday morning, get dressed for 12." What the fuck. Obviously, I'm going to object because I much rather be at home drinking diet Mountain Dew and watching college football so I respond with "enjoy but I ain't coming." She goes on and on about how I need to go and have a heart. Have a heart? You think the fucking 6 day old baby gives a fuck about me? Does the baby have some sort of magical powers I need to use? If I walk up to the shitting, drooling, future homo and say "Hey kid give me a winner Chargers -9 or Broncos +9 " is he going to give me a fucking answer? Of course not, so why the fuck do I need to wake my ass up on a Saturday morning to see some 6 day old that I don't give a fuck about.

Of course, I didn't go see the kid, instead I won a couple grand (she doesn't know that.) Now my mom refuses to talk to me. Was I that fucking wrong? Should I have gotten up, gone to see the shitting puking batty-bwoy named Alex. Of course there is always going to be the awkward "my kid needs titty milk so I'm going to take my top off right here in front of everyone and make the entire room go silent as the little shithead sucks my tits." My cousin's wife is fat too so those things are sagging for sure, not a sight I want to see. I don't see the big deal but now I get the silent treatment for a few days unless her curiosity bugs her and she comes down to say "How are my stocks doing." Fuck that, if I ever have a kid and knowing me I'll have a couple, I'm going to be a bomb ass parent. I'll go to parent teacher interviews telling the teachers to fuck off, I'll make sure my kid knows to never get high on his own supply, and I'll make sure that fucker never wears skinny jeans. Fuck respect, it's all about living for the moment and doing whatever makes you happy. You white folks got it easy, your mom gives you the silent treatment and all you gotta tell her is "Fuck off you whore," and things are well again. One day I'll grow the balls to try it.....I can dream right.

Recapping the Night: Oh Lord Gamblor how I love you, I won't say a bad thing about you again, I promise. Truthfully if you're ready to hop on the bandwagon, don't. Nothing sticks out for me on Monday and I sense a minor losing streak. We'll see though, I've been wrong before.

1pm NFL games:
$400 Jets/Texans over 46.5 -110= Return of $763.64 (W)
$400 Cowboys -6 -110= Return of $763.64 (W)
$400 Packers -3 -120= Return of $733.33 (W)
$400 Bills/Bengals over 41.5 -110= Return of $763.64 (W)
$400 Jags/Browns over 43.5 -110= Return of $763.64 (W)
4pm NFL games:
$300 New Orleans/Seahawks over 44 -110= Return of $572.73 (W)
$300 ATL -3.5 -105= Return of $585.71 (W)
$600 Colts/Pats over 49.5 -110= Return of $1145.45 (W)
$300 Argos +10 -115 (L)
Late NFL game:
$500 Eagles/Giants over 47.5 (L)
$700 Celtics -5.5 -110 (L)
Play of the Day:
$1000 Eagles -3 -130= Return of $1769.23 (W)
Total Wagered: $5700
Total Returned: $7861.01
Total Profit: $2161.01
Total Earned to Date: $10143.05

Contact Info:
May the winners be ours. Taking over the world one step at a time. In case you haven't gotten the memo my name is Julius James and I'm the fucking shit.

Sunday, November 21, 2010


Blog Returns tomorrow, well done Scott and I did okay as well. Picks posted soon.

Scott's Picks:
$200 Rangers +105= Return of $410 (W)
$200 Capitals/Flyers over 6 -130= Return of $353.85 (W)
College Football:
12pm: $400 Wisconsin -4 -110= Return of $763.64 (W)
12pm: $400 Pittsburgh -3 -105= Return of $780.95 (W)
12pm: $400 West Virginia -4.5 -110= Return of $763.64 (W)
3:30pm: $400 Virginia Tech -2 -110= Return of $763.64 (W)
3:30pm: $400 Cal/Stanford over 49 -110= Return of $763.64 (W)
3:30pm: $400 Ohio State -3 -105= Return of $400 (P)
$200 Arkansas -3 -115= Return of $373.91 (W)
$200 Nebraska -2 -110 (L)
$100 Rampage +200= Return of $300 (W)
$300 BJ Penn -175= Return of $471.43 (W)

Total Wagered: $3600
Total Returned: $6144.70
Total Profit: $2544.70
Total Earned to Date: $7982.04

Saturday, November 20, 2010

Some Positivity Shit Today

Don't mind me just one of those days where I saved a bad bet so I don't feel emo or pissed off and I'm just going to talk about nothing. I need to learn fucking self-discipline, betting 2 dimes when the account has 6 dimes on anything doesn't make sense. I got myself out of it and I know a few of you did as well but fuck that was a grueling 3 hours. Pat Burns died today and even though I don't really care for hockey I've had the pleasure of meeting him once in my life. Such a class guy, he'll be missed. For any of you guys interested me and my boys will be doing an American Thanksgiving football get-together somewhere in the city. I figure most of y'all work or got kids who will probably turn out to be assholes like myself but if you're free, join us. We're leaning towards Real Sports but just shoot me an email and I'll get back to you. 

Fuck thinking of positive shit is hard when Wendy's just gave me the saltiest fucking fries I've ever had. Maybe I could be a preacher, that's positive right? Jesus loves you and so does your family but Jesus will love you more if you send me a small donation for the blog building fund. Real talk before I stopped going to church I was there pretty much every week for like a decade. Yet every week they had a "building fund or "heat bill." Negro what the fuck are you building that takes a decade and it's fucking 40 degrees out and this dude wants money for heat. In 10 years this dude built a few steps and a deck. 4 Mexicans probably got the job done for $500 everything included but hey they needed the money.

Shout out to my bro he got honor roll this week for what I assume was last year. Told me he was the only black dude in his grade to get the award, well done. Shout out to the girl that did that thing for me today (get your mind out of the gutter it was work-related). I won't say what it is or who you are because you never know who is reading but I appreciate it, slut. Shout out to all y'all that come here and read my shit on a daily basis, without y'all I wouldn't be betting thousands of dollars on stupid ass games and taking years off my life. Shout out to all the people who hate the shit out of me and the blog but check back in daily, you get love too. Shout out to Lester, this kid I sponsor in Guatemala. He told me they got him in school and even though he hates it he loves gym and will fuck any of you up in soccer. This kid is going to become the next Messi and I'm going to cash in. If he doesn't it's all good, I hope the day he turns 18 he gets the opportunity to fuck a hot Guatemalan model, it's good consolation for not becoming a pro-athlete. Alright that's enough positivity I'm starting to feel gay, I'll post picks and recap in the morning (taking it slow as hell tomorrow.) Peace

Play of the Day:
$2000 Boise St./Fresno State over 66 -110 (L)
College Madness I can't resist:
1pm: $200 Coastal Carolina -12 -110= Return of $381.82 (W)
2pm: $400 Georgetown/Wofford over 132.5 -110= $763.64 (W)
1pm: $400 West Virginia/Vandy over 141 -110= Return of $763.64 (W)
5pm: $200 Illinois -4.5 -110 (L)
College Late Basketball Games:
$300 Texas/Pittsburgh over 147 -110 (L)
$300 UNC -6 -110 (L)
$300 Kentucky -6.5 -110= Return of $572.73 (W)
Scott's Pick:
$200 Sabres/Kings under 5.5 -120 (L)
$200 Houston -1.5 -110 (L)
$200 OKC +9 -110= Return of $381.82 (W)
$400 Utah/San Antonio over 202.5 -1102.73 (L)
$3000 Boise St. to win by 25+ -150= Return of $5000 (W)

Total Wagered: $8100
Total Returned: $7863.65
Total Loss: $236.65
Total Earned to Date: $5437.34
Contact Info:
May the winners be ours. Taking over the world one step at a time. In case you haven't gotten the memo my name is Julius James and I'm the fucking shit.

Friday, November 19, 2010

I'll take the Fat Kid over the Glee Lover Anyday.

Another stupid stupid play has me pissed off again so fuck it, going to take it out on the dumb people that buy dumb shit. You can't go 2 minutes without seeing this dumb ass commercial. It starts off with the gay ass song "Evacuate the Dancefloor" then there are faggot Asians and white people who are probably professional  sculptors dancing by themselves. All this is supposed to represent some motion controlling bullshit where you don't need a controller to game anymore, your actions dictate what happens in the game. This is the dumbest fucking shit I've ever heard: video game systems without any controller. 99% of the people who play video games on a consistent basis (4+ hours a day) are fat kids who will never get laid, never get a decent job and will be living off their Grandma's pension for the next 30 years. You think these motherfuckers want to get up and dance and have their action control the video game? They want to sit the fuck down on a big ass couch with a bag of Doritos and a big ass package of oreos, put on a headset and escape. Escape into a world that is the only thing left preventing them from suicide. Some fictional Call of Duty world, not some dumb ass shit where they have to move their ass to play the game.

Thank you Microsoft, you just killed fatty Brenden, now whose going to fucking open the change room doors at Walmart? Are you going to open those doors Bill Gates? You just made some poor soul kill himself because he was forced to get up on his ass and move. The other logical argument for this dumb ass shit is "what about house parties?" If I go to a house party and I see a bunch of people like this: click here playing a video game. I'm either going to roll out the chloroform or get the fuck out. If you're hosting a party and all you got is gay ass dance video games or motion sensor crap then you live a life not worth living.

What's worse is that I just went to their site and it said "see a ball? Kick it" What in the flying fuck. Ain't nothing in this world that gives me more satisfaction that standing in-front of my television and kicking a fictitious ball for my entertainment. I didn't fucking graduate from Everest or Brown Mackie college, stop trying to feed me this stupid shit.. If you want to play video games you sit your ass down, put the disc in the system and then you play away accepting the fact that you might never get laid, get a high paying job or have a body-mass index of under 30. You don't fucking stand in open space looking like a fool. Yet once again there are going to be the people who work at a Zellers distribution center, shop at Abercrombie and Fitch  and spend their nights watching Glee buying this shit and inviting people over for "Kinect parties" where they all get to play with fictitious items and talk about how awesome it is. Meanwhile fatty Brenden is dead because Bill Gates fucked up his gaming experience. Well done you fucking prick.

Recapping the night: It's never the money, always the fucking way you lose that stings. That Nuggets/Trailblazers game was a heart-breaker for anyone who laid the +2.5.....that was a definite foul.
$1000 Bears +1.5 -110= Return of $1909.09 (W)
$400 Bears/Fins over 39 -110 (L)
$400 Nuggets/Trailblazers over 203 -110 (L)
$300 Suns/Magic over 205.5 -110 (L)
College Football:
$600 UCLA +2 -110 (L)
$600 UNLV/Air Force over 56.5 -110 (L)
Scott's Pick:
$300 Flyers/Lightning over 5.5 -120= Return of $550 (W)
College Basketball:
$300 North Carolina -14.5 -110= Return of $572.73 (W)
$300 Michigan -12.5 -110=Return of $572.73 (W)
$600 Georgetown/Coast Carolina over 131 -110= Return of $1145.45 (W)
$300 Vandy/Nebraska over 132.5 -110 (L)
Total Wagered: $5100
Total Returned: $4750
Total Loss: $350
Total Earned to Date: $5673.69

Contact Info:
May the winners be ours. Taking over the world one step at a time. In case you haven't gotten the memo my name is Julius James and I'm the fucking shit.

Thursday, November 18, 2010

Fuck You Insignificant Cunts

I'm pissed off today and I'm well aware that most of you have smart phones so if you're a sensitive fuck, hit the back button and get the fuck off the blog. I had a long day today and lost money on a dumb fucking quarterback. So what better way to relieve stress than to put on Bob Dylan's "Mr. Tambourine Man" and jerk off to a Jenna Haze lesbian scene. Things were going good until I was interrupted by someone hitting me up on msn messenger with a useless ass message. So of course this is fucking up my wank session, I pause the video and look to see what the fuck this person wants. The message read "Yo Send Me Your BBM." Really bitch, you interrupted my one time to myself to ask me about some dumb ass shit that I don't even have. Why the fuck would I have BBM? The only reason I have a motherfucking phone is because one day I might be late, dying, or horny and need to contact the 3.5 people that give a fuck about me.

So now my fucking wank is ruined and I log onto facebook to play some bejeweled. Fucking hell it just got worse. Forgive my ignorance because I don't know much about this shit but Blackberry has this application where you could post on facebook where you are during that particular time and what you are doing. For example: "Shawn is at Sheppard Station waiting for a bus." WHY in this motherfucking world do I give a fuck about where people are at. Unless your my brother, mother, or father or your getting raped in a motherfucking jungle in Congo I couldn't give a shit about what you fucking do in your spare time or anything that has to do with anyone's location. Facebook and twitter somehow make people think others give a fuck about them. Yet on my facebook page were all these status messages from people posting their location. "Library," "Boston Pizza," "School" is what all these location messages read. Fuck you for wasting the 5 fucking seconds that it took me to read this useless ass shit.

That's what this world has become. A bunch of fucking faggots that dress up in fucking tight ass clothes rocking man purses and working at Bed Bath and Beyond and telling people where they are located at all hours of the day. I don't BBM, I don't have a smart phone, I don't give a fuck about 90% of my "facebook friends" and if it weren't for Mafia Wars or Bejeweled I'd delete the thing. You could be fingering the ass of the Queen of England and I wouldn't give a fuck so stop telling people what you are doing and where you are located. I don't care if your smart phone can perform a prostate exam I still wouldn't fucking want one.  Unless your name is Bristol Palin and you tell me your going to have a bunch of dudes run train on you and I get to be the first one then that's the only way I'm RSVP'ing to a facebook invite. Fuck I-Phones, Fuck Blackberries, and fuck facebook all these things make people feel important and have you believe people actually give a fuck about you. Well your motherfucking wrong, your going to live a shitty life, then your going to be collecting pension from a retirement home where you wait to die, then you'll finally die and end up in Purgatory watching re-runs of Buffalo Bills games, eating egg salads and listening to Coldplay like everyone else. So fuck you and your unimportant ass, take all your gadgets that give you some sort of social status and stick it up your ass.

Recapping the Night: I'm pissed off at this bullshit.
$300 Mavs/New Orleans over 191 -110= Return of $572.73 (W)
$300 Raptors/Sixers over 207.5 -110 (L)
$300 Heat/Suns over 208.5 -110= Return of $572.73 (W)
$300 Miami-Ohio/Akron over 48 -110 (L)
$300 Bowling Green/Toledo over 54 -110 (L)
Play of the Day:
$600 Miami-Ohio -9.5 -110 (L)
Total Wagered: $2100
Total Returned: $1145.46
Total Loss: $954.54
Total Earned to Date: $6023.69
 Contact Info:
May the winners be ours. Taking over the world one step at a time. In case you haven't gotten the memo my name is Julius James and I'm the fucking shit.

Wednesday, November 17, 2010

Back to My Routine.

I'll be graduating in December of 2011, this shit is scary. It means I'll probably end up in a cubicle for 35 years while the asshole next to me listens to Maroon 5 all day and tells me about how he likes to BBQ his steaks. Yet I've come to the conclusion that in an effort to prepare myself for this lifestyle I have to start doing different shit. I can't be sitting at home on this recliner masturbating all week and then when Friday comes I go out and get the Big Crunch combo with the Fries supreme. I figured it was time I did something different, it's time I stop living in the bubble and step out of my routine. What better way than to go to an extreme, indian food.

There's like a billion people in India and about 999,999,900 of them look like complete ass. Yet the White people always go to their restaurants and love that shit. I figured why the fuck not maybe I'll have something to talk about in my inevitable cubicle life. So I head out with a friend and we decide to try this Indian spot. I step in and the first thing I notice was the weird calming ass ocean sounding music. I was also delighted that this place didn't smell. So this place is a buffet and they got virtually everything. I don't get out the house much and I sure as fuck don't visit restaurants so I let the chick I was with take out food and I just copied her. Hold the fuck up, this chick took out rice, bread, and meat and was eating it all together. So was everyone around her, what the fuck. You take your rice on the side,  then your butter chicken, then your bread. You eat the rice and the chicken and in the same meal your supposed to eat the bread and the chicken. That fucking bread supposedly comes with everything. This shit was fucking weird but then it got weirder. The food tasted like ass and I tried to like it. Buried in 70 litres of thick disgusting sauce was 3 small ass pieces of meat. The meat was good but what's the fucking point when you have to dig through a Chilean mine to get it.

So even then I tried to give Indian food a chance. Everything tasted disgusting, had massive amounts of oil and butter, and made me think to myself "If I'm going to eat bad I rather eat BigMacs and enjoy it" So I said maybe it's the buffet, a few days later me and home girl tried a different restaurant. Ordered something called "Vindaloo" which is supposedly chicken. The shit was good I can't lie again, but once again I had to eat the thing in several hundred layers of sauce. I hate to be rude but how the fuck do you have a meal that consists of bread, rice, and sauce and it costs $14.95. Yet all the white people are enjoying it (mainly because a gourmet dish for white people involves scrambled eggs and hamburger helper.) When I got home I looked up these recipes to try and find out what the fuck I ate. To my surprise, most of what I ate was oil, butter, cream and some shit called cardamom. I rather eat Amy Winehouse's vagina than to go through this "sauce" ordeal again. Going back to my 3 piece meals at Popeyes and Big Crunch Combos and Whoppers, fuck being cultured there isn't anything better than fast food.

Recapping the night: I'll recap in the morning because one game isn't finished yet but for tomorrow thus far I like Miami-Ohio -10 -115 and the overs on both college football games.
College Basketball:
10am: $200 Southern Illinois -5.5 -110 (L)
12pm: $200 Oral Roberts/Tulsa over 139.5 -110=Return of $381.82 (W)
2pm: $400 Baylor/LaSalle over 147.5 -110 (L)
4pm: $400 Kansas St. -6.5 -110= Return of $763.64 (W)
Late College Basketball:
7pm: $400 Syracuse -16 -110 (L)
7:30pm: $200 St. Joes +13.5 -110= Return of $381.82 (W)
11pm: $600 Gonzaga -6 -110 (L)
Scott's Pick:
$200 Leafs -115= Return of $373.91 (W)
$300 Sixers +2 -110 (L)
$300 Raptors -1 -110 (L)
$300 Hawks -2 -110= Return of $572.73 (W)
$300 Trailblazers +115= Return of $645 (W)
$300 Lakers -3 -110= Return of $572.73 (W)
$300 Bulls +1.5 -110= Return of $572.73 (W)
Play of the Day:
$600 Ohio (college football) +7.5 -110= Return of $1145.45 (W)

Total Wagered: $5000
total returned $5409.83
Total Profit: $409.83
Total Earned to Date: $6978.23

Contact Info:
May the winners be ours. Taking over the world one step at a time. In case you haven't gotten the memo my name is Julius James and I'm the fucking shit.

Tuesday, November 16, 2010

The Weekend That Was

A lot of people have been asking about the weekend so here it is. We got there a bit early so we hit a bar in Parma Ohio. It's a real hole with only 2 taps, Blue or Hoegaarden. Went straight for the Hoegaarden and at $3.50 a pint I downed about 6. Time to go shopping at the Parmatown mall at about 10am. We enter the mall and the first thing I seen is Santa and there is no line. Me, being the drunken cunt I am decide that I want to sit on Santa's lap and wish for heroin and strippers. The fucking elves or whoever the fuck you call those people were denying me the chance. So now I'm starting a scene demanding to see Santa and all of a sudden about 4 mall cops jump me and start laying the beat-down. I used to think mall cops were fake but fuck these dudes had badges, handcuffs, the fucking works. I was cuffed and thrown out, they took my info and told me not to come back for 26 months because it's on file and I'll be charged with trespassing if I dare come back. That was that.

We go to Walmart, pick up 2 cases of beer which came up to $36 and hit the hotel. Got more wasted and watched some college football. Met a few "blog fans" I'll leave those details out and let's fast forward to the Cavs/Pacers game. I had been steadily drinking and been doing some drugs all day. We get to the game and I must say I'm surprised at the attendance. Shit was damn near packed, our seats were in the 4th row, level 300 but of course we moved down 5 minutes in. So the Cavs have a promotion where if they hold their opponents to 85 or under or score over 100 everyone gets a free Taco-Bell Chalupa. At halftime I think they had 56 points. They scored 12 fucking points in the 3rd quarter and were scoreless in the first 4 minutes of the 4th. Nah, I'm too drunk/high to put up with that. I go to the usher and basically demand he give me a coupon for a free Chalupa because this shit is fixed. He tried to laugh til he saw that I was being serious. He calls over arena security who once again are all these motherfucking "Deputies." They tell me to sit down or they'll throw me out. I demand my Chalupa. As they are throwing me out I tell them I'm a research student at Cleveland State and my thesis involves different vaginal scents. I told those fuckers they all have strong ones and should get it checked out. I got a kick to the nuts.

The night was followed with more drinking, drugs and women. Shout out to the Crazy Horse, they had no dancers over 21. I get in around 6am, shower and head straight to the breakfast tailgate. Oh, before I went to the Tailgate I figured now would be a good time to start eating/drinking healthy so I went to Dunkin Donuts and bought a Vanilla Chai. Tailgate, the game it was all nuts and I can't describe it with words. The crowd was deafening, we stood the entire time. Mark Sanchez aka Go Diego Go is underrated, the dude could dodge a sack like a black dude dodges his child. He's the reason they won. Colt McCoy surprised me as well, made a few rookie mistakes and doesn't have many good receivers but he played one hell of a solid game. At the border back I told the dumbass I was with we can't go to Duty Free because we haven't been in the States for 48 hours. He insisted on getting a bottle of Grey Goose. Of course, customs made him pay taxes and we had to wait in line for 50 minutes. Fitting way to end the trip, until next year, I love the 216.

Recapping the Night: 
Play of the Day:
$1000 Eagles -3 -125= Return of $1800 (W)
$300 Orlando/Memphis over 200.5 -110 (L)
$400 Nuggets -105 (L)
$400 Jazz/OKC over 205 -110= Return of $763.64 (W)
$400 Eagles/Skins over 42.5 -110=Return of $763.64 (W)
Total Wagered: $2500
Total Returned: $3327.28
Total Profit: $827.28
Total Earned to Date: $6568.40

Contact Info:
May the winners be ours. Taking over the world one step at a time. In case you haven't gotten the memo my name is Julius James and I'm the fucking shit.

Monday, November 15, 2010

Massacre Monday

Blog Returns tomorrow though I'm not sure If I'll be alive. My whole body is numb from the beating it took this weekend.

Recapping the weekend:
$300 Utah/Atlanta over 200 -110 (L)
$300 Orlando Magic -13.5 -110 (L)

$400 Ball State/Buffalo over 47 -110 (L)

Play of the Day:
$600 Boise St./Idaho over 63.5 -110= Return of $1145.45 (W)
$400 Boise St/Idaho over 63.5 -110= Return of $763.64 (W)

$200 Cavs/Pacers over 201.5 -110 (L)
$600 Jets/Browns over 37 -110= Return of $1145.45 (W)

Total Wagered: $2800
Total Returned: $3054.54
Total Profit: $254.54
Total Earned to Date: $5741.12

Saturday, November 13, 2010

Back Tuesday

I gotta run but here's what I'll be playing this week. (only playing cause I'll be at these games) Hope y'all cash in.

$200 Cavs/Pacers over 201.5 -110
$600 Jets/Browns over 37 -110

I'm out peace.

Friday, November 12, 2010

Cleveland Rocks

I'm fucking off for the next few days. Going to see the Cavs vs. Pacers (got tickets for 60 cents thanks to Stubhub) and the Jets vs Browns in Cleveland. I'm going to do a lot of alcohol, a lot of drugs, and a lot of midwestern college girls who are hot as shit but will probably work at Footlocker or Walmart for the rest of their lives. I'm leaving early Saturday morning but too tired to blog so I'll be back Tuesday Morning. Will post picks for Friday. Then Friday night will post a couple weekend ones. I'll also post picks for Monday on Monday morning but I'll be too hung over and possibly near death so no blog. Have a good weekend and I hope y'all had a good remembrance day: Can't forget the heroes like Col. Russell Williams: 

Recapping the Night: The sportsbook bit back, a bit unlucky. In the New, watered down NFL I thought that last Falcons drive was littered with controversial plays. I don't think that was a catch. Then I don't think that was a pass interference. Then Roddy White should have been flagged at the end. Oh well all debatable. 
$300 Lakers -3 -110 (L)
$300 Lakers/Denver over 211 -110= Return of $572.73 (W)
NCAA Football:
$300 Pittsburgh -5.5 -110 (L)
$300 UAB/East Carolina over 67 -110= Return of $572.73 (W)
Scott's Pick:
$100 Trashers/Wild under 5.5 -110 (L)
Play of the Day:
$600 Baltimore Ravens +100 (L)
Total Wagered: $1900
Total Returned: $1145.46
Total Loss: $754.46
Total Earned to Date: $5487.58

Contact Info:
May the winners be ours. Taking over the world one step at a time. In case you haven't gotten the memo my name is Julius James and I'm the fucking shit.

Thursday, November 11, 2010

My True Take On Remembrance Day

Before I get into it and no doubt in the morning when I open my email inbox I'll be shredded to pieces,  I really wish I could post some sensitive shit, paste the lyrics to "In Flanders Field" and call it an entry. But I wont, it isn't real to me. I'm not sure how I feel about remembrance day. On one hand a bunch of dudes around my age were forced to go into a war that they really had no business being in. Europe, the most fucked up continent in the world was unable to handle their own shit. So you take an 18 year old kid, hand him a gun and tell the fucker to go wild. So I think to myself, fuck the kid had it unlucky, he lost his life for the economic benefit of some fucker who couldn't give a damn about his life. This shit happens every fucking day. Whether it's in a Bangladeshi forced labor factory, a mine in Africa, or a bus station in Pakistan, people are always fucking dying for the wealth of others. Nothing has changed since World War 1 to present day, it's just done on a smaller, domestic scale. So why do we celebrate Remembrance day? Why should we remember this shit.

Do you really think those who have died or survived in the war give a fuck if I remember them? Does it make it all better. If I sat here and said "poor little Jimmy died because some greedy immoral fuck put a price-tag on his life and made him die for cash," does it mean anything. I've been reading a narration of a former slave by the name of Ferebe Rogers. In the book she talks about turpentine and salt being poured into wounds as they bled to death because they didn't complete work in time. I've read of Asians being blown up so that railroads could be built. We've seemed to forget about these people and the recipe has worked. To us, it didn't happen and it makes us live each day without the realization that people are senseless, immoral, and inhumane.What exactly am I supposed to remember on Remembrance Day? That the world is filled with inhumane little fucks that use other people to get what they want and lives are replaceable when it comes to the accumulation of wealth? They call it freedom but I call bullshit. These people didn't die so I could be "free." They died because someone with too much power was trying to control too much wealth. 

Yet I'm supposed to remember these war veterans because they are heroes and somehow this all makes it better. You have a conflict between the Turks, Austrians, British, French, Russians, Italians and Germans and a Canadian kid dies and I'm supposed to remember this. Remember what? He died so that one side would have more wealth and power than the other. The world really wants me to remember this? It's too fucking easy, to stick a red fucking poppy on someone, have a moment of fucking silence and go back to the way we were. How about we motherfucking fix it, so this shit doesn't happen. How about everybody sit at a motherfucking table, every single world leader in one locked room and no one gets fed til a solution is reached. So that another poor fuck from Missouri or Nova Scotia or Buffalo or Colombo, Sri Lanka or Iraq doesn't have to die. How about every motherfucking country agrees to stop fucking with everybody else so no one else has to die for the benefit of another person's bank account. Why don't we fucking fix it instead of giving people a red fucking flower and acting like everyone gives a fuck. Because on November 12th the world will be the same greedy, inhumane, immoral, unethical, and unjust world it was the day before when  0.00098% of the population who has all the wealth controls the power and puts a price-tag on people's lives. Fuck it, that's too difficult, let's all sing "In Flanders Field" and have a moment of silence. Lest We Forget.

Recapping the Night: That fog was something else, survived though.
$200 Charlotte Bobcats -105= Return of $390.48 (W)
$200 Milwaukee/Atlanta over 187.5 -110= Return of $381.82 (W)
$200 Houston -2 -110
$200 Miami-Ohio/Bowling Green over 50 -110 (L)
Play of the Day:
$600 Miami-Ohio -2.5 -115= Return of $1121.74 (W)
Total Wagered: $1400
Total Returned: $1894.04
Total Profit: $494.04
Total Earned to Date: $6242.12

Contact Info:
May the winners be ours. Taking over the world one step at a time. In case you haven't gotten the memo my name is Julius James and I'm the fucking shit.

Wednesday, November 10, 2010

Once Again I'm Confused

I've been banging this Colombian girl for a while now. She's pretty hot but my word this girl knows how to suck a mean dick. She's filthy rich because her dad probably has Little Pepe sticking coke up his ass and carrying it to different countries but this girl is sexy and rich and loves to swallow my kids. There's only one problem, she's dumber than people who donate to Wikipedia. Is it unethical and immoral to be banging someone who probably wouldn't pass a standard grade 7 math test? At first the head and sex was great and I thought this could very well be the one if I don't fuck it up but I'm coming to the realization that I much rather be doing the chinese girls at the back of Chinese restaurants who spend their days peeling vegetables and nodding at strangers. 

This chick is beyond stupid. She doesn't do anything because she's rich. I'm convinced all she ever does is watch Gossip Girl and sleep. Every time I try and talk to her she's always busy watching Gossip Girl. Is there a motherfucking channel on the television that just plays the show on repeat. However I knew things were headed down-hill when we went out last week. I had shit to do and her ass is too busy watching Gossip Girl to get a license so I told her to meet me at Sheppard Station's subway platform. She texted me 6 times asking me where it was. Bitch you do fuck all look it the fuck up. Then she asked me if she could get back home at 3pm because she wants to bake a cake for her mother's birthday. Uh ya okay bitch I just want my dick sucked in a park you can go home whenever. However my entire day was filled with my phone going off. No matter where I was I would open my phone and see texts like: "Omg I'm on the bus." "Now I'm sitting at the back and there are poor people starring at me." "How do I tell the bus driver I want to get off the bus, does he stop at every stop" "What if I miss my stop, what will I do then" 

Bitch you are 23 fucking years old, if this were 40 years ago you'd be out in the garden and raising 4 kids while I sat at home, drank all day and watched the Three Stooges. I used to think damn this girl is too damn hot to be with someone like me and now I finally know why. It's like being with someone who has the mental capacity of Arnold Jackson in Different Strokes, you guys have no idea how torturous this shit is. When we aren't banging she'll tell me about how her life is so similar to Gossip Girl. Or how her arm hurts because she had had to lift a UPS package from the front door to the kitchen and it was heavy and thus it ruined her day. The other day she made me promise that I'd consider marrying her or she'd consider leaving because she wants someone who is committed. It took every cell in my body to not get up and scream how I wish her ass was deported. I said yes because I wanted head and knew I'd buy myself 3 non-talkative, sex-filled days. I clearly don't wanna marry this Eva Mendez looking ass but I don't want to let her go. 5 years from now when I'm working at Best Buy trying to tell some spoiled kid's parents that their kid needs the best laptop we can offer and I'm going to think back how I could have made it with this Colombian hoe. Yet that's a lifetime of conversations with someone who gets confused by the story-line in Spongebob Squarepants ....decisions decisions.

Recapping the night: Well done Scott. 
$200 Knicks +4.5 -110 (L)
$400 Northern Illinois -10.5= Return of $763.64 (W)
Scott's Pick:
$100 Tampa -1.5 +190= Return of $290 (W)
Total Wagered: $700
Total Returned: $1053.64
Total Profit: $353.64
Total Earned to Date: $5748.08

Contact Info:
May the winners be ours. Taking over the world one step at a time. In case you haven't gotten the memo my name is Julius James and I'm the fucking shit.

Tuesday, November 9, 2010

I'm Not an Asshole....But....

I got a friend who is an alcoholic. Young dude so at first I was trying to help him and try to get him to stop. That worked for about 5 minutes. Of course I just said fuck it, he lives a pretty good life and is happy with himself so why shouldn't he keep drinking til he dies, which at this rate will probably be around May. Yet the guy keeps showing signs like he wants to quit. However I'm the type that comes home after a hard day, gambles and wants to be left alone. So I'm like fuck this and I keep telling the guy "man you shouldn't quit, you seem like you're enjoying it so maybe you should start shooting heroin and shit. I bet it would make you feel loads better." At the end of the day I realized no matter what I say, the guy is still going to drink and slowly kill himself so why not speed up the process, get a better high and die quicker, am I wrong?

However, he's still around and still claims that he's trying to quit. The other day I come home wasted and he's wasted and he's going on and on about how tomorrow he'll quit. Alright Alister (it's the whitest name I could think of) I believe that you truly want to quit. Then the dude threw me a curve ball. He said "bro I can't do this alone, could you stop drinking as long as I can, it'll be motivation." Umm I don't see how me not drinking has any affect on your Ernest Hemingway imitating ass but fine Alister I'll stop as long as you stop" Then it hit me, what the fuck did I just do? For starters, do I look like the type that should be counseling an alcoholic. Can any of y'all see me on Intervention telling families to read their letters to their loved ones and stop enabling people. Here I am telling a guy that he should shoot heroin and end his life quicker and he's telling me he needs me to stop drinking alcohol. 
Today, 13 hours after we made the deal this guy hit the beers. His excuse: "Hey man I had 4 left in the fridge, I had to get them out of there and a little bit of Vodka left over, I wanted to return the empties. Fuck you honky if your ass really wanted to quit you'd either give them away or pour that shit down the sink. However I realized something today, if you know someone suffering and there is no way they can recover, just enable them. This week I'm going to call the dude up and start telling him to drink more, break his old records. (He counts each beer and gets through about 460 per month). I'm going to tell the guy "if you aren't a pussy for the month of December you'll reach 520." I mean there is nothing I can possibly do to help the guy. There's nothing he could do to stop, he clearly can't/won't stop. Why not force the train-wreck and take him out his misery and at the same time have a scary story to tell my grandchildren during Halloween. "Hey kids did you know I once helped kill a man!" Chug another one Alister you could do it!

Recapping the Night: Won't complain I made money but the game did hurt once it was all said and done. Glad I still got the push though. Congrats to everyone that cashed in.
College Basketball:
$200 Pittsburgh -12 -110 (L)
Scott's Pick:
$100 PHX/Red Wings over 5.5 -105 (L)
$400 Golden State +2 -110= Return of $763.64 (W)
$200 Pittsburgh/Cincy over 41 -110= Return of $381.82 (W)
Play of the Day:
$600 Pittsburgh -6 -110= Return of $600 (Push)
Total Wagered: $1500
Total Returned: $1745.56
Total Profit: $245.56
Total Earned to Date: $5394.44

Contact Info:
May the winners be ours. Taking over the world one step at a time. In case you haven't gotten the memo my name is Julius James and I'm the fucking shit.