I typed in "black mom" in google images and a picture of Alicia Keys was the first thing that came up so that explains that. For the past month or so my mom has been coming down to the basement til 3am because she can't sleep. It really cuts into my wanking time but I can't say it's all that bad; it's scary how similar we are. She tells me who is banging who in her office, she tells me which one does cocaine, which dude is cheating on his wife, I ain't gonna lie I love mindless gossip so I dig this shit. Then she tells me about her crazy ass family, which also happens to be my crazy ass family. For starters I got a cousin, that negro is like 8 years old, he might still be 7 but I think dude got a late birthday. His name is Kyron and that dude is still getting titty-milk. That's just the start though here's a funny ass story which isn't supposed to be funny but is to me. She also has a cousin David, who was deported and while I loved that crackhead it was amazing to see how she'd deny everything. "Mom that nigga got 18 charges on his rap sheet including attempted murder and some say he raped someone." Her response was always "ya but no one saw anything, they lying on the boy." Yup, people lie about 18 charges over a decade. Then she'd bitch at me for not going to church for the past 5 years so I'd drop it.
However, the reason she hasn't been sleeping for the past month is because of another cousin back home in Trinidad. This useless negro's name is "Fat-Man" (I don't know his real name, since I have been 3 years old I only know him as fatman even though that dude is fucking skinny, it's fucked up). He got no money, no house, no job and he's currently trying to fight a case for having sex with someone between the ages of 14 and 16. In Trinidad homos are sentenced to 25 years in jail if they are caught having sex (only enforced on the men) but if you bang a minor you're only facing 12. So this dude is 35 years old and being accused of banging a 15 year old and he lost everything trying to fight this case, which is still on-going. My mom thinks he's innocent because her brother and sister, who both live in Trinidad told her so. They claim the girl's family knows "Fatman" and are trying to exploit him for land and money.
No one knew about Fatman's whereabouts because he was in jail for a bit then I assume he got enough money to pay the judge and got out until his trial began. So for the past month my mom can't sleep because once again a family member is being accused for a crime they didn't commit in her eyes and she's tight with these people. She comes down to the basement, interrupting my skype-sex and she tells me of how the good die young and people are always trying to hold people down and he's innocent and he'll fight the case because it's in the Lord's hands. I just nod my head and picture having sex with with some of my female blog readers (yup I said it and you know who you girls are too) so it makes the whole ordeal pretty fun. Finally today around 6pm Fatman called to let my mom know he was home from jail. The first thing my mom said was "the devil will deal with those who lied and made up stories about all that nastiness." Here was Fatman's response " No, No, No I love her and want to be with her the rest of my life. She was going to run away with me and we were supposed to get married, then the family called the cops." I was listening to this phone convo because he was screaming so he said this before she hung up " But I still love her..." I have never cried so hard while laughing and the look on her face was priceless, if I never see another happy-moment in my life I don't need one because this was the funniest thing I'll ever get to witness, ever. (I don't condone that nasty shit either but the phone convo was truly amazing. )
Recapping the night: I'm bitter the fucking Heat. Up 20 with 2:30 left and then the bench comes off and the bum-ass Wizard score 11 to cover, with a meaningless dunk with 12seconds left and the shot-clock was out.
Play of the Day:
$600 SF 49ers -1.5 -110= Return of $1145.55 (W)
$500 Real Madrid/Barcelona over 2.5 goals -140= Return of $857.14 (W)
$400 over 28.5 grand salami -110 (L)
$400 Miami Heat -13 -110 (L)
$200 Minnesota/Virginia over 133 -110= Return of $381.82 (W)
$200 St. Peters/Seton Hall under 122 -110= Return of $381.82 (W)
$200 George Washington/NC Wilmington over 130 -110= Return of $381.82 (W)
$400 TCU/USC over 128.5 -110= Return of $763.64 (W)
Total Wagered: $2900
Total Returned: $3911.79
Total Profit: $1011.79
Total Earned to Date: $7143.56
Contact Info: BustaBusta_2001@yahoo.com
May the winners be ours. Taking over the world one step at a time. In case you haven't gotten the memo my name is Julius James and I'm the fucking shit.