I been in school for 4 years now. I should graduate, but one summer I fucked around and spent 3 grand on alcohol and partying and had no loot so I'll be there for another semester. I'm starting to realize how useless it all is. I mean I got a triple minor for beginners, after 2008, triple minors don't even exist. I just tell people I'm an English major, I ain't major in nothing but vagina exploration. Basically, in order to get a minor you need 8 courses in that particular subject. So I took 24 courses I actually needed. I minored in history, english, and philosophy cause I can't do math for shit and everything requires math. These days you need majors to graduate but when I entered school all you needed was a triple minor.
So lets look at the numbers. I needed 24 courses to get all the shit that's mandatory. I need 40 courses to graduate. So for the last 2 years I been taken nonsense courses like water and wind. Like children's literature and detective fiction. But in the long run it isn't useless because you need that paper that said you went to school. So now I'm thinking about what I'm going to do with my life. Ideally I'd work for the government for 30 years and I know I could get in. That means sitting in a cubicle starting at 40k a year and playing online flash games and watching youtube videos all day. But I still need shit like a resume. I'm 22 years old and still never wrote a resume or a cover letter. The only time I needed one was for that Bullshit job at BMO and I used my cousin's shit for that.
So in December I'm done school and start working. I've spent the last 4 years of my life doing shit I'll never do again. Like analyzing Shakespeare and reading about Plato. But even if I were to get something practical, let's say marketing or math, those fields are so competitive I know dudes with math degrees cleaning banks and shit during the night. Back to my career path, I spent 4 years doing fuck all really because society told me I had to. Now I enter the work force and have to wear Dockers and golf shirts all fucking day while listening to people talk about how they found their kid smoking a "joint" and grounded them for 6 weeks. Then I have to deal with a boss, someone who will probably go "by the book" and time my bathroom visits and shit. Then every other Thursday I get my paycheck and I see how much the government takes from me for bullshit like the Royal Wedding. Why am I mentioning all of this? because I have a sound solution.
I know 4 girls whose father are millionaires. Rebecca, Lindsay, Britney, and Isha. I wonder if Isha would let me have any of that loot, paki people are cheap as shit. Ya there's no country for me in her world, scratch the last name out, I got Rebecca, Lindsay and Britney. Rebecca, let's look at it for a minute. Your pops is so loaded you never have to work a day in your life. Even though your half white, I'll convert to Islam or whatever the fuck you want me to convert to. I'll sweep the house, scrub the bathroom, give you the best sex ever and I won't even use all that money. Just share the loot honey, you can be the independent woman that Beyonce always talks about.
If that don't work, how about you Lindsay. You always say " I'd be with you forever," why don't we put this theory to test. I'm willing to stay with you forever all I ask for is that you manage the household. We both know when you apply yourself you're smart. But then you do this with your spare time: What Lindsay does on her spare time and you kind of lose the plot. However, your pops is rich and I don't think you'll get another dude in this world to make you laugh the way I do. Fair trade no? I make you laugh, you take me under your wing financially for the rest of our lives.
Finally there's Britney. The girl studying pre-med who is also a model. Your dad is worth more than anyone I know. You're about the only girl I know that could get anything she wants. How about you take me, I give you 4 kids and raise them while you're a doctor. Your friend and I have discovered you have some autistic tendencies (I'll explain later) so I can't see any dude sticking with you for long. How about you and I stick together forever, you really can't do worse so why not see what rock bottom feels like.
One of y'all please say yes. Oh and if anyone wants to get angry at me, I chose today to ask these questions because tomorrow and Friday are roadrages then UFC on saturday. Thus I won't be around except during the day when everyone has school, so try finding me :) Peace.