Why Couldn't We Get Mexicans To Do It

The other day I'm sitting down watching The Office (good show if you haven't checked it out) My Aunt rings me up and tells me she needs a new Computer desk. She's the type who hasn't gotten laid since 1985 and is just swimming in money she enjoys by herself so any opportunity I get to earn a few pennies off her I take it. We arive at IKEA (my first time in the store, ever) and the first thing I notice is the $1 hotdogs. You know me being black and all I had an erection at that price so I grabbed about 3, chowed down and went to meet up with her. There are fucking arrows on the ground like I'm some sort of disabled fuck and everyone around me looks like the typical Euro gay guy. You know those types that wear scares indoors ( If you are wearing a scarf indoors then you need to analyze your purpose of existance...) So she chooses the one she wants, I load it up in the car and we're on our way.

I carry it to her front door and I figure alright it's time to collect my fat cheque. She alerts me that it needs to be assembled and it's from IKEA where they have a Do It Yourself mentality so it's really easy. I say okay this should only take about 10 minutes and all I'm going to do when I go home is wank (masturbate) anyway so everything should be fine. I open the fucking box and out come 1000 screws. 1000 bolts. parts I have never seen in my life and 1 fucking allen key. What the fuck Ikea we arent all sophisticated Swedish cunts like you. To make a long story short after an hour of trying I gave up, called a handy-man and he got the job done (took him about an hour) Ikea stop ripping people off. Fuck your socialism and hire some fucking Mexicans to make this shit easier.

I've never changed a lightbulb in my life yet you expect me to assemble something that NASA would have trouble assembling. Just cause you sell your hot dogs for $1 and got arrows on the floor doesn't mean your store is the shit.  A quick bit of research and I just realized Ikea was founded by some pro-Nazi dude by the name of Ingvar Kamprad. This shit just writes itself. So Ikea, which 5 seconds ago I discovered was founded by a Nazi, is ripping people off by forcing them to assemble shit that is near impossible assemble to your average Joe. But fuck the assembly now I'm wondering how large are their ovens....

Recapping Picks: I can't say I wasn't worried after I dropped my Katrina line yesterday that karma was going to get me and she has. 1-3 on the night and 3-5 on the month. Terrible but considering I was dangerously close to going 0-4, I'll count my blessings.

Today's Picks:

Leeds Utd vs Tottenham (soccer)...................Tottenham -120
Chicago Bulls vs Philadelphia 76ers................Bulls +1
OKC Thunder vs New Orleans Hornets........Thunder -1
Toronto Raptors vs New Jersey Nets............Over 203
La Lakers vs Charlotte Bobcats....................Over 193.5


All lines provided by: http://www.bet365.com/





May the winners be ours. Taking over the world one step at a time. Incase you haven't gotten the memo my name is Julius James and I'm the fucking shit.