In an effort to save money I've packed it in the last few weekends, decided to stay inside and just gamble my life away with my bankroll. Of course there are only so many horses you can bet on, sporting events you could get on, and skype sex you can have before you decide you need a break and focus on the tube. Over the last little bit I've been watching all-sorts of shit and today's entry will be a run down of shows that are a fucking waste of time. If you watch this shit you need to do what Chris Henry taught us best: jump out of a moving vehicle.
Hoarders: Is this what the world has come too? We get to view people who claim to be "sick" and they just keep collecting crap upon crap to the point where their house is barely livable. How the fuck does this weird shit interest people?
Mantracker: The concept is great, adult cops and robbers out in the wild. There's only one problem: Mantracker gets glorfied for having such great "skills" yet he's on a fucking horse. No shit, of course he's going to catch them. Have his ass follow 2 black people who have guns and then I'll applaud him for his great "skills"
24: I'm guilty of this one though I only do it because I've invested too much time into it already. Jack Bauer will get tortured, his wife/daughter/dog/friend will all get raped up the ass, he'll be faced with a problem impossible to solve, yet somehow every fucking episode he gets out of the jam. It's like over the last few years I've been watching the same shit over and over with the sense of hope that the next episode will be different, sounds like Leafs fans.
Two and A Half Men: Same shit different toilet. We get it, Charlie Sheen is a pimp and could tap anyone he chooses. Does it really need to be replicated each episode? It's a bad episode of Frasier that just repeats itself with no end. I'm hoping one of these days Charlie gets aids and dies, would make for a great Series Finale.
My Name Is Earl: I'm a big believer in karma but does it have to be depicted as explictly as its done on the show? Oh I robbed this trailor-park cunt 20 years ago so I better take my list and repent or else karma will be the reason a car knocks me out. While I'm at it what's the deal with Randy, he's more retarded than a grade 4 austistic class, combined.
Deal or No Deal: Mr. Washed up, I mean Howie hosts this gameshow with a great concept. The models are great and there are certain appealing things about the contestants. The only issue is the fact that the show's pace is slower than a 80 year old dude wanking. There are commercial breaks every 4.5 seconds, Howie annoys people within 4seconds, and I've never seen anyone win so what's the fucking point? Should be re-named to who wants to be a millionare 2.0.
Cabbie on the Street: If you're one of those people who watch the score to see Cabbie on the Street then there is no word to describe your life other than lame. Here's a dude that has gotten famous by touching people. His questions are stupid, his persona is stupid, and the concept of the show is stupid. However, because his fat Pillsbury Dough Boy self touches people his segments are seen as brilliant. If you enjoy those segments you have worse taste than a Dominos Pizza.
Survivorman: OLN does it again, more irrelevant programs for an irrelevant channel. If I wanted to watch someone drink their own urine I'd just google "fetish porn." Instead we get to witness a man, who is so infatuated with the outdoors, that he'll drink his own urine, feed off his nails, and put his body through a tremendous amount of pain to prove a point: You can Survive anywhere. After watching a few episodes I've arrived at the conclusion: I rather die.
Today's Picks: 38-33 on the month.
Miami Heat vs Philadelphia 76ers..............................Heat +2
Phoenix Suns vs Memphis Grizzlies...........................Suns +1
Dallas Mavs vs OKC Thunder..................................Mavs +3.5
Utah Jazz vs Houston Rockets..................................Jazz -2.5
Boston Celtics vs Sacramento Kings.........................Celtics -5.5
Cincy vs South Florida.............................................Cincy +2.5
May the winners be ours. Taking over the world one step at a time. Incase you haven't gotten the memo my name is Julius James and I'm the fucking shit.
1 comment:
Excuse me while I go look for Chris Henry
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