White people, You Folks need Help

Now I know I've defended you guys in the past but upon further review I think all you folks need some serious help. We all get that you run the world and have authority over us but seriously, you are some pretty fucked up people. I don't have  many encounters with white folks but over the past week due to certain circumstances I have been around them for a good part of my day. Damn you folks are fucking crazy. My neighbour's father passed away and we're pretty tight so I headed over to the viewing on Thursday Night. I hate to sound like Chris Rock and make this a black/white thing but from the 100 Caribbean funerals I've attended (ya we don't live long) the one thing  that's common is the crying. We'll fucking cry for days like we just had our cocks ripped off and stuck up our asses. I'll admit Caribbean people love to pound back the alcohol at these things and one thing that is always certain is the gossip spreading around (even about the dead person) and the crying is quite common.


I walked into the funeral home and entered the room and everybody is having a laugh and talking about hockey. What the fuck didn't somebody just die a few days ago? The first thing I hear is "Oh Pronger has to go." There's a dead man lying there in a big box yet all everyone is talking about is fucking hockey. That's when I realized this was some fucked up shit. I walk around, hug the family, scout for any potential fine ass, I mean pay my respects and I hear something in the background. It sounds familiar so I walked closer to the noise and I couldn't believe my ears. Boy George's "Karma Chameleon" was blasting from one of thise IPOD docking stations. So the rational part of me said maybe the dead dude liked this song so I ask the deceased's Grandson if this was one of the songs his grandfather really enjoyed. Nope, they just thought it would ease the tension if they played Boy George at a funeral viewing.


What the fuck is wrong with you folks. You got some fly chicks, growing up u never got a belt to your ass and you make a tonne of money. Yet you act all weird in settings where even black people act normal. At the "reception" of the funeral where everyone grabs a quick bite and just chills out they all bitched about how the service was too long and they were missing the Olympics. I could understand if a new-age version of Hitler died everyone would be disinterested but white folks are funny like that. They'll complain about things like Hot Dogs not having enough ketchup (when it's served at their Sunday dinners) They'll call the city to complain  when the garbage collection was a few hours late and they'll dance the "Macarena" at every party and they'll call it the greatest party every because of that shitty song. They all drink that nasty domestic beer and Don Cherry is their Jesus Christ. They get real patriotic on Canada Day and complain the other 364 days for the year. After closely assessing "your kind" you're no different than the Mexicans, Asians, and blacks. You're fucked up just like everybody else.

Recapping the Night: Shaking the rust off we finally hit it and we hit ir pretty hard. Let's hope we continue this hot streak. $1725 wagered, $2337.68 returned. That gives us a profit of $612.68. Overal we're sitting at a profit of $239.95.


May the winners be ours. Taking over the world one step at a time. Incase you haven't gotten the memo my name is Julius James and I'm the fucking shit.


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