Another Illusion: Talent

I had a million and one things I needed to do today. Cleaning, assignments, working-out, it's as though my day was just going to be a huge commotion. Instead, the black in me told me to say "Fuck it" and do what I love to do, sit on the couch gambling on sports and doing fuck all. Today, through the 15 hours of tv I watched I noticed something re-occuring that annoys me. A lot of television is filled with no-talent personalities that continuously pollute our screens. It pisses me off to realize I'd do a better job on the television than most of the people I watch. Thus, here are some people on television that need to hit the unemployment line, hurry, hard.

Nancy Grace: This loudmouth gorilla needs to get the fuck off my screen. Back in the day she used to have a weird sex appeal about her. (You're reading this from a guy who didn't flinch while watching 2 girls 1 cup.) Nancy who has a horrible, forced Southern accent gets an audience because she is a loud cunt that guys just want to fuck in order to shut her up. You're not saving the world Mrs. Grace, your ruining it.

Pierre McGuire: The hockey guy for TSN and NBC, Pierre McGuire makes an already tough sport to watch, unbareable. If he had the chance, Pierre would say fuck the game and just talk about how awesome he is for two and a half hours. He shares no insight whatsoever despite being right next to both hockey benches. Pierre your terrible and I hope soon enough the world agrees with me and soon you'll be reporting from the Westminster Dog Show.

Everyone who works at CNN except Robin Meade: Today, as you all probably know there was an Earthquake in Chile which was expected to bring a tsunami to Hawaii. For the entire day CNN had their cameras fixated on the shores of Hawaii and even brought in experts to assess the situation. Once the expert revealed nothing big was going to happen, the reporters at CNN got upset and started screaming at him, forcing him to tell the viewers a massive wave was going to wipe out North America. The end result? A 3ft 2 inch wave.

Jamie Campbell: I thought once he got demoted from Blue-Jays play by play announcer to calling the Olympics maybe he'd learn some of his mistakes and actually improve. I was fucking wrong. His shitty voice along with the fact he has a "Joe Rogan" approach (it sounds like he's wanking to whatever he's watching)makes him terrible. The fact of the matter is, Jamie Campbell sucks. He's not going to improve, he's not going to realize his mistakes, he's just going to suck the rest of his life.

MTV VJs: In the 90s video jockeys were employed to introduce music videos to the world. Sounds simple enough doesn't it? However it's 2010 and there are no more music videos or good music for that matter. So one would think this job would become obsolete? Nope. MTV VJs will sit on some fancy couch and analyze a 30 minute show with70 crying fat females with acne and bad hygene along with 10 males all over the ages of 35 but dress like they're 18 trying to get some action. These VJs talk about nothing at all. Seriously why the fuck are people getting paid for this shit?


Recapping the night: When you have 2300 circulating often times it's either going to be real good or real bad. Only JJ knows how he could possibly gamble 2300 and come out with a loss of $11. I can't even get mad, all I can do is shake my head. $108.64 overall. I feel like a turtle stuck in its shell. Only a matter of time before something happens. Stick around to find out.

May the winners be ours. Taking over the world one step at a time. Incase you haven't gotten the memo my name is Julius James and I'm the fucking shit.


 
This Entry Has Been Sponsored by: