Only In The Hood

The other day I had to go pick up something at school and my mom was heading in that area so I tagged along. Of course when I get to school the fucking terrorist bitch I needed to see for my books was on lunch, who the fuck takes their lunch at 2:30 pm. So now I had 45 minutes, my mom thought it'd be a good idea if we killed it in the mall, Malvern Mall to be exact. If you know anything about Toronto you know to stay the fuck away from Malvern. The shit that goes on in this region of Scarborough is equivalent to any other hood in North America, it's a fucking mess. So we decide to head to the mall and have lunch in the food court. You know you're in the hood when you order chicken fried rice, 3 items on the side (fried wings, sweet and sour chicken, stew pork) and the total comes up to $3.73. So we ate while watching the struggling black people do unproductive shit.

My mom starts telling me how I need to find a girl with money because they have everything materialistic, they don't "need" more. Poor people on the other hand will see an opportunity and go crazy like an alcoholic at an open bar. As ignorant as that sounds, she made a good point, broke motherfuckers always leech on to someone with more wealth. Anyway she wants to check out some clothes in this store called "Labels." 20 minutes later I'm bored out of my mind but then I did some real faggot shit. See if any chick tells me "What looks better?" I have no problem answering honestly. Hell the other day my boy asked me that question and I bypassed the gayness to help them out, I don't know why people ask me about fashion, I get all my shit at Footlocker or Champs. So my mom starts asking me the "What looks better?" question and that was cool but then I open my fucking mouth and start telling her about "What would really look well" and I'm pointing at racks and shit telling her this would match with this and so forth. Nah, that's too gay for Richard Simmons, I had to fall the fuck back. 

So I'm walking around trying to "un-gay" myself and I come across these nice ass chairs near the changing room, I have a seat. There's another dude, black like tar sitting in the other seat and he's about 45. All of a sudden his girl comes out the changing room and starts asking him for an opinion. She was some Asian bird and had to be no older than 22. I'm sitting here wondering what the fuck she's doing with this dude, it has to be money. The dude noticed me watching her as well, as soon as she goes back in the changing room he tells me: "You see that, anything can be achieved with money. First class flights, the finest clothes, the best meals, she loves it all and it's because I got that money." I wanted to ask..."So why the fuck is she shopping at labels for??" but I kept my mouth shut, dude had to have money to get that. She comes out the changing room again and things finally started to make sense.

I actually heard her talk this time and this Lucy Liu looking heaux can't speak a word of english. Now it makes sense, she's using him to get that permanent resident status. She'll sucker him into marrying her, she'll get her papers so she doesn't get deported and then she'll leave him. Then this ashy Bernie Mac motherfucker opened his mouth again. He said "step your game up, get that paper and you can have what I have." By fucking coincidence his phone went off. He looked embarrassed but he brought it out, a motherfucking flip phone. Then I look at his shoes and I couldn't hold in the laughter anymore. He had those basic ass running shoes that light up with every step. You know the ones most of us wore when we were 7 years old, this dude had a grown-ass pair of shoes that light up. So now I'm having a laugh and tell him "I hope she enjoys the public transit monthly pass, you're really getting that cash." He mumbled some Jamaican shit, grabbed Lucy and they got the fuck out of the store. Only black people.....

Recapping the Night: Tonight was like dating a fat chick. You go out with her, you don't want to be with her, everything is going wrong. Then as the night is winding down, she invites you in for a drink, gives you that "fat girl head" and sends you $200 and tells you  she had a great time. Started off horribly, ended off great. I'm talking it easy now, this bail-out shit ain't good for my high blood pressure lol. 

Play of the Day:
$2000 West Virginia -11 -110= (L)
$6701.54 on Golden State/Indiana over 213.5 -110= Return of $12793.85
$1000 On Twolves/Clippers over 213 -110= Return of $1909.09
Total Wagered: $9701.54
Total Returned: $14702.94
Total Profit: $5001.40
Total Earned to Date: $14702.94

Contact Info: Moneyhungry45@hotmail.com

May the winners be ours. Taking over the world one step at a time. In case you haven't gotten the memo my name is Julius James and I'm the fucking shit.