Crazy ass Day + Me Being A Dumbass + The Goat Snipe.

Today was one fucked up day. Where do I begin? I take the car to school only to realize that the parking-lot is full. My lecture was only an hour and the other lot charges a $10 flat rate so I drove my ass back home. As I was driving home I made some sharp turn and hit a snow bank or some shit. Then I leave my phone in the car, it's like fucking frozen and won't work. Then I decide I'm too lazy to cook so I drive to Burger King to get that Tender-Grill salad. The drive thru isn't working so I had to come out to the car. I was in shorts and a tee. Finally, to conclude this fucked up day I'm talking to my Abi Titmuss friend and I'm telling her how lonely the house is with my parents not around this week. Her response: "I can be your mom." Nothing sexually attached, she really wanted to be a mother-figure to me. Blankstare. Ya let's just forget the fact that you're hot and you got a nice behind and I want to do you, other than that you can be my mom....

So something was bothering me and it pertains to this bad karma I have been experiencing lately. "Lilith" one of my friends had told me I attacked her. I'm a lot of bad things for sure but attacking a chick, I just can't see it. Yes at the time I was trying to tap it but I thought I told her just to leave and we can go our separate ways. The problem is, we had this convo while I was intoxicated which means it falls under "DTI" Drunk-texting immunity. Whatever happened in that convo is supposed to stay in that convo. But I did the unthinkable, I wanted to know what I said that was so bad that made her feel like she was being attacked. So for the first time in my life, I went back and checked drunk messages again as opposed to deleting them. Uh wow, I didn't just "Jackie Chan" her, I did enough damage to have her looking like Brett Favre the day after a game. I think to myself, what the fuck, in all honesty December was one of my greatest months, ever and she played a role in that. Yet I destroyed that and it just gets worse. 

Here's how good karma is to me. 99% of females would have said "fuck you" and be gone forever. After re-reading that shit, I could have had the swag of Michael fucking Buble and it wouldn't have matter. But she asks me the next day "So do you still want me to leave." Bam, it's right there for the taking. All I have to say is yes, I'm sorry and it's all gravy. You know what I reply back with: "I dunno." The fuck is wrong with me. I might have been still drunk and you know how nasty a hangover is, I was pissed off with the world. Even then she said she enjoyed talking to me, after all that bulllshit I put her through. To be fair I put her through bullshit since we met each other but after ALL that this chick still tells me I make her happy and asked one last time and I reply back with: I dunno. 

So back to today, I'm convinced that this is the reason my life has gone to shit. I looked through like a thousand emails and I kept asking myself, what the fuck is wrong with me. I wasn't even running game, I was just like "meh" for most of them. She's long gone now, she's around but the holidays are over and she's back on the grind and she's actually doing productive shit with her life as opposed to me which you'll find out now. I don't blame her either, if somebody spoke to me like that, I would have punched them in their fucking mouth. So after re-visiting the situation and realizing I fucked everything up, there's only a few options left. I can apologize. I can ignore her. I can beg for her forgiveness. Or I can act like an asshole even more. What do I do? What do you do with the person who has put up with your entire false bullshit, has helped you through hell and back, and has given you chances after chances. I goat snipe her. 

You're probably wondering what the fuck I'm talking about. See I got this friend Snickers and we both suffer from insomnia. So for the last couple of days, we've been practicing goat and sheep sounds because we don't know what the fuck they sound like. Once we perfected it, I created the goat snipe. To goat snipe someone is to instant message or email someone with a clip of you making a goat noise, then you tell them they've been goat sniped. Yes when I'm not having sex with fictional South Park characters I'm doing this with my life. I spent hours trying to perfect a goat noise, then I goat sniped her. If you don't believe me, have a listen yourself: The Goat Snipe.This is not what God had planned for me, I need help. 

Recapping the night:

NCAA:
$800 Auburn -1.5 -110= Return of $1527.27 (W)

NBA:
$400 Celtics/Rockets over 198 -110= Return of $763.64 (W)

Play of the Day:
$1000 Auburn/Oregon under 75 -110= Return of 1909.09 (W)

Total wagered: $2200

Total Returned: $4200

Total Profit: $2000

Total Earned to Date: $17301.52

Contact Info: Moneyhungry45@hotmail.com

May the winners be ours. Taking over the world one step at a time. In case you haven't gotten the memo my name is Julius James and I'm the fucking shit.