Before I start, dumb ass of the week award goes to Yours Truly: This entire day I was pissed off acting emo, pissing everyone off. See I thought I have to go back to school tomorrow. Little do I know, I start on the 10th. I'm going to fucking behave this week. No alcohol, no Russian bartender, no breaking things, no pissing people off, no Mexican Chips. Ya fucking right, I lied. Brace yourself this is going to be a long one, my New Years. (almost all of this story, as unrealistic and fucked up as it sounds, can be verified by people) Let's start:
Fuck all that New Years Eve countdown shit, my new years eve started at 12:30am January 1st. I was beaten the fuck down. I had a little bit of Smirnoff left, I hit Main Event. For those of you know don't know anything about Main Event, it's a dive spot for British people. So I get in and everyone is wasted out of their minds. A British Person is like the one kid in Kindergarten who everyone, including his parents, knew he wouldn't amount to shit so they let the kid do whatever. That's a fucking British person. Within 30 mins I had 3 people ask me for Smack (heroin), I seen a guy getting a blow job on a wheelchair and some chick fell down the stairs. My boy GM hits me up, tells me he's outside. I say fuck this let's walk around.
I had the little bit of Vodka in my pocket, We mixed it with some Gatorade he had and he starts pissing in front of the Yonge/Eglington Center. We walk next door to this Mexican place called "Chimichanga." Inside the party was bumping but GM made a good point, no one wants a Mexican chick. Plus the DJ thought it was a good idea to play Maroon 5. No man should ever stick his penis inside a girl that likes Maroon 5. If your girl is listening to Maroon 5, I bet you her pussy either stinks or she's a terrible fuck. Prove me wrong. So we leave the Mexicans and we decide to walk to downtown. Yes, 8 miles away, we say fuck it we're walking. GM saw a skyscraper and thought it was a 5 minute walk. So we start walking and 10 minutes later we're in the rich Jewish area. As we're walking we see this restaurant and the party looks insane, we decide to crash it.
Let me fucking tell you, you are not living right unless you party with rich white people. On the walls of this place were glass cases with hundreds of thousands of dollars worth of alcohol enclosed. I walk in with the Yankee fitted, Nike Tee, Sagging Jeans and fresh Jordans, here are all these white people all over the age of 35. They're dressed in those designer ass suits and girls are dancing on the bar and this shit is out of control. Now, if you go to the strip club with a grand in your pocket, you're the life of the party. You ain't shit nigga. These people were dropping $100 tips on motherfucking water. The music wasn't in English, the bathroom signs weren't in english. They played that Euro trance shit and some Hebrew stuff and they fucking partied. They welcomed us with open fucking arms and before you know it we are dancing this Jewish stuff. Guys were dropping thousands upon thousands down, money was no fucking object. No guns, no bouncers, no heauxs, no heroin, just people wasted having a good time. The bartender comes up to us and I'm thinking "great we're about to get thrown out." He says "these ladies bought you this but had to go..." he went on and on, said a phone number but he was speaking whatever Jewish people speak (I assume it's Hebrew but haven't bothered to check). These were shots I never tasted in my life, different color shit, these people got shit you ain't ever seen before. The bathroom sink was a big ass fountain with elegant music. No paper towel, hot motherfucking towels. This shit was out of control.........
This is only the beginning, Part 2 comes tomorrow. I'll recap in the morning. Note to self: Don't bet while intoxicated. Peace.
NCAAF:
$500 SMU -7 -110 (L)
$300 Kansas St. +1 -110 (L)
$400 Tenn/NC over 50 -110= Return of $763.64 (W)
Play of the Day:
$700 Nebraska/Washington over 52.5 -110 (L)
NCAAF:
$300 NorthWestern/Texas Tech over 60 -110= Return of $572.73 (W)
$300 Penn St. +7 -110 (L)
$500 Wisconsin/TCU over 56.5 -110 (L)
Play of the Day:
$600 Michigan/Mississippi St. over 60 -110= Return of $1145.55 (W)
NBA:
$300 Hawks -1.5 -110=Return of $572.73 (W)
$300 Celtics -5 -110=Return of $572.73 (W)
NFL:
$400 Steelers -5 -110= Return of $763.64 (W)
$400 Chiefs -3.5 -115 (L)
$400 Texans/Jags over 46.5 -110= Return of $763.64 (W)
$400 Jets/Bills over 38 -110= Return of $763.64 (W)
$400 Rams -3 -110 (L)
Play of the Day:
$1000 Giants -3.5 -110 (L)
Total Wagered: $7200
Total Returned: $5918.30
Total Loss: $1281.70
Total Earned to Date: $9874.08
$500 SMU -7 -110 (L)
$300 Kansas St. +1 -110 (L)
$400 Tenn/NC over 50 -110= Return of $763.64 (W)
Play of the Day:
$700 Nebraska/Washington over 52.5 -110 (L)
NCAAF:
$300 NorthWestern/Texas Tech over 60 -110= Return of $572.73 (W)
$300 Penn St. +7 -110 (L)
$500 Wisconsin/TCU over 56.5 -110 (L)
Play of the Day:
$600 Michigan/Mississippi St. over 60 -110= Return of $1145.55 (W)
NBA:
$300 Hawks -1.5 -110=Return of $572.73 (W)
$300 Celtics -5 -110=Return of $572.73 (W)
NFL:
$400 Steelers -5 -110= Return of $763.64 (W)
$400 Chiefs -3.5 -115 (L)
$400 Texans/Jags over 46.5 -110= Return of $763.64 (W)
$400 Jets/Bills over 38 -110= Return of $763.64 (W)
$400 Rams -3 -110 (L)
Play of the Day:
$1000 Giants -3.5 -110 (L)
Total Wagered: $7200
Total Returned: $5918.30
Total Loss: $1281.70
Total Earned to Date: $9874.08
Contact Info: BustaBusta_2001@yahoo.com
May the winners be ours. Taking over the world one step at a time. In case you haven't gotten the memo my name is Julius James and I'm the fucking shit.
2 comments:
Forgot to say yesterday that Favre's a prick.
At the end of the game he stormed off and a shitload of ppl waited to see him get on the bus and he justed ran on. Like what r u running from old man.
GM notation. Drank on the plane today for free (got upgraded to business class cause they like my swagger). Its early in the year, but I haven't gone a day sober since 2010.
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