Bruno Mars Get The Fuck Out Of Here

Before I start let's kill all these birds with one stone. To my Abi Titmuss looking home-girl that emailed me telling me my lists make her horny, you'll get something similar tomorrow. I didn't email you this cause I figured you'd be sleeping. Chad, you don't even gotta ask man I'll do it first thing in the morning. Any Rager is like family to me, unless your first name is Angel. King of the Coin toss, I fucking lost it when dude said he was going to be a millionaire at 22, some shit you have to see to believe. Let's go:

A couple of weeks ago I was with my boy GM, we were stuck in traffic because of the assholes around Yorkdale mall who think they're the shit by last-minute shopping. We were both severely hung over and pissed off. The radio wasn't even on and he fucking snapped talking about how Bruno Mars is a fucking bitch. Then I turned on the radio and I swear on my life there was that gay ass song "Just the Way you Are." Bruno Mars get the motherfucking fuck out of here with that bullshit. You like girls just the way they are?? Okay you dick-sucking for cocaine loving Colombian fuck, tell this bitch you love her just the way she is: click if you ain't a pussy. Fuck Bruno Mars for talking all that dumb shit, no ladies we don't like you just the way you are. We like your independence, the swag, confidence, a nice ass, big tits, great cooking skills and above all: sensational head game. Fuck Bruno Mars.

But I was relatively calm with this Bruno shit because I figured he was just selling out for some pussy and a few dollars, then it just got worse. It was 4pm the other day and I'm at home watching Spongebob while my mom was sitting down begging me to change the channel. The phone rings and it was her friend telling her to put it on the Ellen Degenerate show because Bruno Mars was going to do a live performance. I guess my mom loves this gay ass faggot. Of course she fucking grabs the remote and changes Spongebob (It was that episode where Patrick meets his parents). So now I'm pissed off and there it was. This Mexican homo starts singing: " I’d catch a grenade for ya.Throw my hand on a blade for ya. I’d jump in front of a train for ya. " The fuck is wrong with this dumbfuck. Is he fucking those Iraqi heauxs? Why would he need to catch a grenade for anyone. Why the fuck would be throw his hand on a blade, this shit don't even make sense. Then I thought about the last one, If you Jump in front of a train, that means she's behind you and instead of trying to save her you told the girl "fuck you bitch let's die together!" He rather die with her than stick his hand out and try to save her cause a train would fuck the both of them up. The fuck??? 

But fine, let's not look into the lyrics, we all know what he was trying to say. He'd die for a chick. Really Bruno? Quit the fucking lying. First you tell the grotesque, obese heaux you love them just the way they are, stink box and all. Then you tell the same fat bitch that you'd catch a grenade for her. Then you tell them you'd die for them. Grow a fucking dick my nigga. If your chick dies, it means she's going to cry for a month and then she'll go out with her friends who want her to stop being anti-social. So she'll go to Boston Pizza on Yonge St one night. Where I'll be, drunk out of my fucking mind. I'll tell her, " I find it truly amazing that your bf caught a grenade for you, you must be special." Then the entire night I'm going to make her laugh. I'm going to give her confidence, I'll make her smile, and I'll tell her that she has a great personality. 50 minutes later I'll be getting it in, plowing her from behind. On second thought, go ahead Bruno, start catching them grenades. Just so we make things clear, if any of you ladies think I'm going to die for you, I'm not. When the guns come out I'm going to say "Honey, you're on your own." and I'll get the fuck out of there like the black people on Muary when they find out they are not the father of the kid. 

I'll recap/post picks by 2pm. Peace. 

NBA:
$300 New Orleans/Denver over 201 -110 (L)
$300 Knicks/Lakers over 211 -110 (L)

NFL:
$800 Packers +3 -125= Return of $1440

NCAAF:
$500 Nevada -7 -120= Return of $500 (Push)

Play of the Day:
$1000 Baltimore -2.5 -110= Return of $1909.09 (W)

Total Wagered: $2900
Totl Returned: $3849.09
Total Profit: $949.09
Total Earned to Date: $15301.52

Contact Info: Moneyhungry45@hotmail.com

May the winners be ours. Taking over the world one step at a time. In case you haven't gotten the memo my name is Julius James and I'm the fucking shit.