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Wednesday, January 12, 2011

Dear

Don't mind me y'all, back on the regular shit tomorrow. I hope. 

Dear Zoloft,

You and I had a divorce months ago after I realized I didn't need you. Well now I do. I spent the last hour and 35mins looking for you, it'd be greatly appreciated if you made an appearance, albeit a guest appearance. Deep down I know I tossed you in the trash but surely there's one of you left. Once again I'd appreciate it.

Dear God,

I don't know what I did, but it's exactly one month to this day since you placed me in that situation and if I did anything wrong please let me know. Nothing has changed since then and I'd really appreciate it if you helped me out on this one because I'm all out of answers and if I'm being honest I got no clue what to do.

Dear LeBron,

Your last tweet has cemented you as a permanent faggot.

Dear Hairline,

Please give me another decade. 

Dear Professional Golfers, 
I hope y'all get busted for roids or fall in a golf course lake or something lmao.

Dear Nathan and everyone that supports you,

I directly blame you for everything that has gone wrong in my life in the past month. I'll give you props, you did change me that's for sure. However let's get one thing clear, with every day that passes I hope you wake up, eat your fruitloops and be thankful I haven't found you yet. If I ever see you, words won't even begin to describe what I'd do. That ain't me talking shit, that's a motherfucking guarantee. I'll put this on everything I love and the graves of all my loved ones that have passed away, you're lucky right now.

Dear Sleep,

Its been exactly 1 month since I've gotten more than 3 hours and I'd really appreciate it if you came back to me. I know this is all related to the predicament I was in one month ago but you have no fucking idea how it feels to be up at 5am wide awake watching D-League basketball on NBA Tv. So sleep if you're listening, it'd be greatly appreciated if you came back into my life.

Dear Jersey Shore,

Go away.

Dear snow,

Please melt, like right the fuck now. It's 3am and the snow-blower won't start and I don't have the energy to do it right now. The stamina, the energy I got nothing left in the tank, in the next half hour I hope you can miraculously melt because I don't want to be out there. 

Dear Salad,

You know when someone's life turns to shit, they always have food to rely on to at least give them 5 minutes of pleasure. You can't even fucking do that. What fucking purpose do you serve in life? Please, I'm dying to know. 

Dear Happiness,

Let's be honest, you haven't been here recently, where can I find you? If you're in Abercrombie and Fitch please tell me cause I will walk my ass in a snow-storm to that faggot ass place just to find you.

Dear my rapper friend from the West-Side,

I know you can't do anything about this and neither can I but I can really use that G-13 right about now. Or whatever the fuck that was, I could use it. Or another album would suffice. 

Dear black people,

This: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZprNwUFCHpM is the reason why we'll never amount to shit. 

Dear white girls, 

Thank you. 

I'm out to watch more D-League basketball and to jerk off to those phone sex infomercials. Such an amazing life. Peace.

22 comments:

Scott said...

D-league basketball on NBA-tv. We've all been there

BronxBomber said...

it's the worst. a month of half empty arenas with washed up athletes is not something I wish on anyone.

Scott said...

You near where that snowplow was?

BronxBomber said...

Nah I'm in Scarborough, east end of Toronto but that shit was crazy.

FAGGOT PUMPER said...

did you say you have a snowblower?

faggot, your driveway isn't even that big.

BronxBomber said...

2 car garage then a normal driveway, it's big enough you're just a faggot that likes to work out with the Sri Lankans at YMCA so you can observe them wash their balls.

actuallly. said...

they don't work out.... they just talk to each other, hit the sauna and shower in their underwear.

i however... flaunt my dick so they can tell their dirty girls what they're missing.

HIDE YOUR DICKS IN SHAME! DRINK JOHNNY WALKER AND BECKS LIKE YOU INVENTED IT!

king of the coin toss said...

Looks like Phuckwad has pulled his Facebook page LOL. Maybe he's is just 'upgrading servers to handle the increase in traffic'.
Phucker throwing out like 14 pics that he wasn't even play WTF - he's like 3 - 6 and 1 with 4 underway.

Emotional roller coaster, part happy the prepubescent Jersey Shore wannabe is gone and yet sadly disappointed at not being able to rip him a new pie hole every time he opens his shitbag puckerbox.

BronxBomber said...

Dude said he wasn't even betting the games. Shit I knew it was only a matter of time but it didn't even go on a week. He said he stopped giving a fuck, wonder if he killed himself?

king of the coin toss said...

Probably best he learns his lesson now, before actually going to Vegas to 'set up shop'. Within a week someone would find his naked ass hanging in a closet with a gag ball stuffed in his mouth and a 20 inch dildo shoved up his ass.

BronxBomber said...

He hasn't learned. Strangest kid I've ever met. Lets look at the facts:

-20 year old who says he dropped out of highschool.
-Claims to work at McDonalds only for the 50% discount
-Says he's going to be a millionaire in 2 years.
-Says he's better than everyone else.
-Posts various pictures of himself in the nude.
-His haircut........
-Says he doesn't count Pushes.
-Says he's going to start charging us for picks in a few months.
-Drops in the matter of a few days to under 50%.
-Says he doesn't give a fuck about life anymore.
- I didn't even mention the fact he calls himself Angel.


ya man something ain't right.

king of the coin toss said...

Yep that about sums it up - Kids got some wires crossed somewhere.

Call me crazy, but I'm taking the Heat +3.5 in game - don't see the streak ending to the Clippers

BronxBomber said...

I tried to add him as a friend, let's see if he accepts.

I agree, I'll take it once it opens up on bet365. Not available right now for whatever reason.

king of the coin toss said...

Sportsinteraction had it a few minutes ago, now they got -9 second half (down by 10 points) and +/- 96 points ... tempting seeing how there was 126 points in the first half, but it smells like a trap.

BronxBomber said...

94 on bet365. I'll take the over just on logic.

king of the coin toss said...

Looks like a good call - haven't seen no d-fence in the game yet and Miami ain't known for playing a shutdown game (I didn't even know Juwan Howard was still alive til they put him in for 2 min. of court time).
Heat -9 and > 96 2nd half- lets get it.

You look at NFL yet... Brady special? -9 is a bit much for a playoff game. Hoodie loves to run up the score on teams just to be an ass.

BronxBomber said...

I'm still thinking about it. I want to know how mad the Pats are. I'm worried about the backdoor cover but the more Rex talks, the more I think Pats will pound. It's 8.5 on bet 365 I'll buy down to 8 I think.

Ravens, Seahawks, Falcons are my other leans.

king of the coin toss said...

Yeah lets hope Rex runs his mouth some more. Injuries for Jets a factor as well - New England got the week of R & R.

I have a hard time betting against Pitt. when Polamalu is playing. The under maybe even tho it's low - maybe Pit and under 7 point teaser. Have to wait on the weather as well.

king of the coin toss said...

Heat and over looking like shit.. fade my ass LOL- Good thing I finished high school won't have to work at McD's at least.

BronxBomber said...

no worries a couple a grand over these last few days means I could afford it haha.

I have a feeling I scared dude with what I said yesterday bout finding him LOL

king of the coin toss said...

Phuck, smelled the trap but walked in to it like a rat anyway - 'Snap' busted.
Maybe Angel got spooked and decided to pull the plug - a tranny jerking on him at work just wasn't worth it Lol.

BronxBomber said...

Who are we kidding he'd enjoy that sort of nonsense lmao.