They've Done It Again

Congrats TLC, you've earned another entry on the blog. It's 3pm and I'm losing a shitload of money and my former lady friend refuses to get on skype these days so I'm reduced to watching whatever is on tv. Once again, UK wifeswap is showing a re-run so I start flicking before I land on TLC. The show? 19 and counting. It's a reality show about a 2 people who have have 19 kids and they all live in this big ass house and live happily ever after. Before I start talking about the show let's talk about the lady who has had 19 kids. Doing a little math she's had 19 kids x 9 months of pregnancy /12 months in a year,  this bitch has been pregnant for 14 years and 3 months. What the fuck? How could people live like that. Another thing I'd like to know is what the hell does her vagina looks like? I'm sure after 19 kids you could fit like 12 Asians in that thing, put up dividers and rent it out.

But back to the show, my attention span is pretty low so I only gave it 14 minutes but why the hell would anyone watch this shit. They are Conservative Christians and have the most fucked up ideology I've ever witnessed. There kids aren't allowed to date and everything requires the parents permission. All meetings must involve a chaperone and in order for the older kids to get married they got to ask the parents permission. Could someone tell these clowns we aren't in Dubai. I love God just as much as the next person but he isn't going to get mad if you light a spliff here and there or get head from some drunk teen at a party. This family, for the 14 minutes I watched stressed perfection. They spoke in a light tone, never stopped smiling and didn't go 30 seconds without preaching about God. Chick, you've had 19 fucking kids and your pussy is probably out of commission, you're entitled to vent some rage. After 19 kids I wouldn't sit around in a circle talking about how amazing Noah was for saving animals I'd be hitting the Absolut every minute of every day.

Reality television is supposed to display some sense of reality. It's supposed to encompass some form of life that has a "reality" aspect. There should be something involved that has no script, no prompt, no "right way to act." This shit was faker than Michael Jackson's nose. The typical family doesn't sit around in circles every night talking about how great the world is. The typical family consists of the kids doing fucked up shit and parents beating their asses. Where were the cusswords? The drugs and alcohol? The sex? The midget that likes to have broom handles stuck up his ass...wait nevermind was thinking of something else. But that shit is not real yet somehow people are tuning in. I've never been annoyed by the perception of perfection as I was when I was watching that crappy television show. Surely the father probably hangs out at queer bars when the cameras aren't rolling. The mother probably has some weird fetish where people pay her to stick their heads in her vagina. Where's the drama? TLC once again you've contributed to fucking up television by showing these gay ass Conservative Christians, why couldn't you be like fox and show real reality tv, Who Wants to Marry a Homeless Hermaphrodite?

Recapping the Night:
NBA: (all bets -110 unless otherwise noted)

$100 Orlando Magic M/L +100= Possible Return of $200 (L)
$100 LA Lakers M/L +110= Possible return of $210 (W)
$100 Memphis -1.5 (L)
$100 Cleveland -5.5 (W)
$100 Sacramento -1.5 (L)
$100 Utah -3.5 (W)
$300 GS/Grizzlies over 232 (W)
Soccer:
$100 Sigma Olomouc +110= Possible return of $210 (L)
$200 Dukla Banska -200= Possible return of $300 (L)
$100 FC Basel -150= Possible return of $166.67 (W)
$100 Cardiff -110= Possible return of $190.91 (L)
$100 Man City +110= Possible return of $210 (L)
$300 Aston Villa -162= Possible return of $484.62 (L)
$200 Valencia -225= Possible return of $288.89 (W)
$20 Hadjuk Split +475= Possible return of $115 (L)
NCAA:
$100 Rhode Island/Virginia Tech under 145.5 (L)
$100 Dayton/Illinois over 131 (W)
$100 Illinois -3 (L)
$300 Princeton/St. Louis over 106 (W)


Total Wagered: $2620
Total Returned: $2383.75
Total Loss: 236.25
Total Earned to Date: $1449.87

May the winners be ours. Taking over the world one step at a time. Incase you haven't gotten the memo my name is Julius James and I'm the fucking shit.