I'm at a bar (suprise, suprise) and I'm trying to take a leak. I'm pretty hammered and when in that state of mind I just like to be left alone. So I unzip the fly, roll out the 9 inches of magic and I start to do my thing. All of a sudden I start hearing sirens and this guy yelling at me so I'm thinking its a cop and I jump and piss all over the floor. I was half-asleep at the time but that shit woke me right up. It wasn't a cop, for fuck sakes it wasn't even a person. It was the monitor in front of my face, just above the urinal displaying ads. Technology, what the fuck. Every single day of my life I'm bombarded with ads whether it be on the bus, on the television, hell even when I visit my own site. (please support the ones on here, they're better) However, now I don't even get the privacy to piss in a fucking bathroom without getting bombarded by people trying to sell me shit I'll never fucking buy. No, eat a dick I don't want your fucking security system I live in Scarborough for fuck sakes what will they take, my white tees and my new era fitted?
I got no problem with certain ads because hell they even pay me for blogging. However, there are some techniques that just don't fucking work and companies need to realize that these ways are not effective. While taking a piss or beating off in a public bathroom, no one is going to view an ad in its entirety or think hey what the fuck I need a security system let me re-watch this ad just above the urinal. When I'm trying to beat off to Latin Lover or any other cable late night television show (usually on Showcase) I'm not interested in seeking ways to lower my car insurance. The worst fucking ads is when your trying to watch a Serie A game on TLN and they change the screen to Bad Boy furniture. Fuck those hepatitis disease carrying homos that ruined the fucking city. People who buy into this shit need to be taken out back and given the " Old-Yeller" treatment.
However because it's 2010 and people for one reason or another have gotten more stupid, companies are finding new ways to trap the dumbasses in our world. Infomercials meant shit back in the day because they were filled with hidden costs and the shit they were selling were never as good as they once appeared to be. Now infomercials are reaping the rewards because they have people like Billy Mays (RIP) and Vince the Shamwow Guy (soon to be RIP) doing their ads. One was a coked up loser from the south and the other is an inbred-looking hooker craving motherfucker that sleeps with chicks that would have to pay me in order to fuck (that says a lot). Vince the Shamwow guy was recently arrested because he bit some hooker in a hotel room and to be entirely honest I rather bang a Paralympic athlete than to bang a hooker like that. However, because half the world is "challenged" he's making millions of dollars selling shit that could be substituted with Bounty Paper Towels. With that said, please click my ads!
Recapping the Night: I must say that venting that hate felt good today. I was pissed off with the result of the Raptor game, those fuckers stole it. However my "GIC" picks have been coming through when needed and maybe my luck will change. We wagered $950 and came back with profit of $63.64. I intend on hitting the board hard with all the March Madness. Can't wait for noon. Overall the total we're earned to date is $1015. 27
May the winners be ours. Taking over the world one step at a time. Incase you haven't gotten the memo my name is Julius James and I'm the fucking shit.
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