The Mystery Woman

If none of this makes sense it's because I'm going through these gay ass exams and don't sleep. A lot of people want to know about the mystery woman so here is the long ass story. (While some of y'all don't give a fuck about this one and rightfully so, I'll have some kick ass blogs coming up later this week, I also take requests now because I'm that fucking awesome)

So I got wasted on Saturday, get home around 3am and I start fucking around the chat sites again. There's this girl Jen who is from Illinois and 5 days older than me. I'm just telling her the dumbest shit ever (she reminded me after). 2 hours later she goes to bed but before she goes I tell her I'll have something blog related in the morning, if she likes it I get an email. That night, as I'm going to bed I go to take a piss and fall in the fucking bathtub, I might have been wiping my ass though, I don't remember. It's now Sunday morning and I'm hung over and feeling like shit. I re-read the blog and I think to myself, yup you fucked this one up good. Sometime during the day she sends me her email and I'm stunned. 

We talked all day on Sunday and it was just a regular ass convo. Now it's Monday and she's leaving hints everywhere that she's getting wet but I don't read between the lines well. So I put on my thinking cap and I draw up this complex maze with 2 solutions. One leads to her wanting my cock and the other leads to her saying this is just the internet. This girl picked no option but still completed my complex charts and questionnaires. How is that fucking possible, she's mindfucking the person doing the mindfucking. This was on some Inception shit, eventually she told me that she wants my cock. Then came the second hurdle, she's Jewish. 

Now a lot of you know I watch a lot of those bride shows and I thought to myself, Jewish people are never with negros, chinks or terrorists. They are those people who don't fuck outside of their race. Yet she made it quite clear she isn't really religious and it's still a possibility. I wasn't finished mindfucking her though. I threw everything and the kitchen sink at her to try and make her discouraged and she didn't bite. I told her I get all my clothes from footlocker and Champs, she said "I go for the more professional types but that's okay." I showed her the ugly ass picture of me wasted humping someone in Montreal and she still stuck around. Clearly I'm doing something rightm I don't know what it is though but it's something. Yet I still didn't believe it so I told her " I have a girlfriend." Let's just say, I paid for that dumbass lie. Then came today:

Jen aka Jen Bauer (a 24 reference for you slow fucks) is just kicking my ass and I'm giving her everything she wants. She's stalking the blog, she's demanding shit, she's on a roll. This is essential to any relationship, you HAVE to take the loss many times. Then we started talking about sacrifices and things like that and Jen Bauer decides to say "I could go online less...?" For any of you dumbfucks out there that don't know what you're doing this is where you go in for the victory. The response she expects is " no please don't" instead the response I give her is " no no I could go online less..."...her response " No, you shouldn't...." Let her have the minor victories, take the big ones. 

I know what most of you're thinking, it's an online thing and I'm wasting my time. For starters, time isn't wasted when you're having a great time. The only issue with online relationships is that you need to make sure the person looks like their pic/video and isn't a fucking dude. I've verified that she is hot female and I sent her the ugly ass pic of me so it ain't a problem for her. I'm not putting in any work, I'm not trying to get in her pants, I'm just being me and as of right now I got more accuracy than Tom fucking Brady. Illinois, while far away ain't a big fucking deal especially when my friend's sister Tree-Hugging Katie flew to Australia for the cock. Here's the way I see this: Jen is outside my house right now and in a car that leads to 2 different destinations. If I get in the car there is a 99% chance she strands me in Detroit. Lost, confused, broken and battered. There is also a 1% this car goes to San Diego...maybe this is God's way of saying thank you for all the good shit I did this last year or maybe this is Satan saying "take that you bitch ass." Either way, I'm a gambling man, I'm getting in the motherfucking car.

Watch out though, Jen has like 7 different majors and is only my age. She doesn't eat fried food, she doesn't smoke or drink. She talks like she's Condoleesa Rice and she will kick your fucking ass at everything. I ain't defending your asses either, she's white and I ain't going to blow my one shot at a white girl for you fucks. This is going to be fun. 

Recapping the night: No research = $1000 loss. I really need you guys to start posting picks lol 

Contact Info: BustaBusta_2001@yahoo.com

May the winners be ours. Taking over the world one step at a time. In case you haven't gotten the memo my name is Julius James and I'm the fucking shit.