Before I start, to the person who sent me my Christmas gift today, thank you. Not the first part (the first part was great by the way)...however the second part, hands down best gift I'll receive this year. That is all.
Karma is going to get me for this blog but it just has to be done, this is for my dickhead friends who say I never do anything blog-related pertaining to them. To understand this story I gotta take you two years ago for New Years Eve. A friend, let's call him Foreskin, and I were pub crawling getting fucking wasted. Now I've said a tonne of shit while drunk, most of you know my drunk-texting immunity policy so I have no problem when someone wants to say something to me while intoxicated. However, it's 3am on New Years Eve morning and Foreskin says to me " I'm never having sex again." Uh, what the fuck, I know you're drunk but chill on that gay shit. " It hurts so much to have sex, I always have to flip my foreskin back and it pains man." Uh ya what do you tell someone who tells you that, all one can do is blankstare and hope they change the topic.
Fast-forward 2 years later to last weekend, foreskin comes to the pub where I'm with some dickheads. I'm wasted out of my mind and tell them the story. I'm not sure what's worse, the story itself, or my friend, let's call him "Crazy ass Croatian" who then tells us he knows someone who got circumcised at 30 and was in the hospital for a week. What the fuck. I'd also like to say the pub we were at had a special $5 martinis. I seen a black person drinking this from the gay ass glass and had to get one. So we ordered a round and chick was upset that she had to make it, so we ordered martinis all fucking night just to piss her off. The shit ain't gay if you down it like a shot, which is what I did.
UFC is over so we drive around doing fuck all for a bit, I had some vodka on me but I was ready to puke at this point. Anyway Foreskin tells us to drop him off at his house, he has some bomb ass weed. I'm so drunk I spend the whole car-ride blabbing about his sister. I only seen her once but Foreskin's sister has an ass like no tomorrow man. However I don't remember her face, she could very well look like foreskin for all I know. Also, maddddddd props to Foreskin even though I don't quite remember the face, he showed me a picture of his sister on his phone. Not many dudes do that man...but who keeps a picture of their sister on their phone? Anyway thanks man.
So now me, Crazy Croatian, and Foreskin are behind some highschool smoking up. The fucking guy pauses the fucking rotation to tell us how amazing his papers are. Like really foreskin unless we're smoking from $100 bills, just puff puff pass. As we're driving back around because foreskin left his car in some parking-lot, he gets a text from his hot ass sister (I think she's hot I just explained the story above lol) He's getting nervous cause he thinks she found his stash, it's pretty suspicious when someone walks in the house, grabs something from his room and walks back out. Then he says "Phew she didn't find anything she just was texting me....nevermind." So I'm just enjoying my high listening to my mp3 in the car but Crazy Ass Croatian isn't having any of this. Dude stops the car and says, what the fuck do you mean nevermind. Foreskin says don't worry about it. Then, one of the funniest things I've ever heard anyone say, was said. Crazy Ass Croatian says: " Dude, Dude, Dude, You know who you are man. You're like the chick. You're like the chick I called over to my place. She comes over to my place, she takes off her clothes, then she puts it on and she leaves" Nigga what the fuck. I was in fucking tears after that story was read. Dude I get what you're saying...but really? Foreskin told us what the text was about and it was really nothing, just some personal family stuff. I still can't believe the dude said that.
Contact Info: BustaBusta_2001@yahoo.com
May the winners be ours. Taking over the world one step at a time. In case you haven't gotten the memo my name is Julius James and I'm the fucking shit.
10 comments:
The story is funnier when stoned. A sober judgement just sounds like nonsense. Foreskin is a little tease though.
your story is a little mixed up, but generally it works
B+
hahah
I mixed it up because if I were to explain it in its entirety (Sue's Place, Man yelling in wheelchair about bathroom line, someone smacking the alcohol and coke out of my hand) it would take days haha.
Crazy croatian stopped the car and said that chick shit because Foreskin couldn't decide whether he wanted to ask for vegetarian gravy or not.,,,, or some shit in the drive-thru.
wouldn't make up his damn mind haha.
did i or did i not see 3 picks up their last night i believe the selections were capitals -1.5 over in lakers and indy and the over in the atlanta tampa bay over 6. seems like your were 1-2 last night but yet your money seems to stay the same. correct me if i am wrong.
You're right but I've already stated they aren't my picks. they were user-suggested in the comments section I was just relaying (is this even a word) to people who don't read comments.
Said I got exams and shit and couldn't be bothered with calculations etc etc so I'm just posting user-picks or play of the day til Saturday when everything returns back to normal and I get a chance to make proper picks.
Im partially circumsized. I tore my shit once while fucking and blodd flew out the tip of my cock like piss. I covered the bitch then yelled at her screaming how she cut me!
I got that shit removed soon after....I was 21
you know who this is faggot!!
Why am I not surprised. K?
lol it was her bbm picture that she put up. Lick my potentially ripping foreskin.
The story is a little fucked, but close enough...I got a shoutout...holla
Il semble que vous soyez un expert dans ce domaine, vos remarques sont tres interessantes, merci.
- Daniel
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