Going to Get Me A Son.

So someone sent me a camera for Christmas. The fuck, I ain't no photographer but I figured it's a good time to make the ladies wet. Nah I'm just playing, this pic was just for the girls that always ask what I look like. If I were a chick I think I'd fuck the shit out of me, just saying. Minus the hairline and Rihanna-like forehead, I got what it takes to get those Heaux. Oh and on an unrelated note, club soda is for the faggots. I've been taking it easy on the alcohol this weekend after Thursday's meltdown and been mixing my vodka with club soda, that shit is nasty. 

So one of my boys knocked up his girlfriend and they have a 6 week old kid. I held the kid today and the little negro wouldn't let go of me. Even an angry asshole like myself was happy with the kid so I figured I want a son. Therefore I need a baby momma. What better way to find a baby momma than on Craigslist. I've posted an ad but incase they flag my shit, I've posted it here as well, enjoy:

Here's the AD: http://toronto.en.craigslist.ca/tor/m4w/2130526850.html

Incase it gets taken down here's what it said: 

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To whom it may concern:


I need one of you Heaux to have my child. I'm 21 and was a bit buzzed today and realized that I need a kid so I'm feeling to smash one of you freaks and get me a child. The fact that I'm unemployed means me and my son, who I've already predetermined will have the name "Fidel," will need to live with you. I ain't marrying you unless you got money though. I'd like my baby momma to be white, though if you got money what does it really matter? I drink heavily on Friday/Saturday nights and often wake up in my own urine but I can change that. I don't do any drugs but if I were to do drugs, I'd like to shoot heroin. I got no criminal record unless those minor incidents come up. (fuck you city of Philadelphia) I'm black and I go to school for something that will never get me a job which is why I need a baby momma to support me. How the hell you expect me to put food on the table with a major in english, heaux? My hobbies include: jerking off, having sex with girls I randomly add on facebook and watching Spongebob. Patrick is my nigga though.


The strangest thing about me is that I once jerked off to an Episode of Oz. Where the dyke-like guard was screwing the prisoner, I must have been 13 at the time and just had to blow it somehow, don't judge me. I have immense faith in God but I don't go to church. If you like the Black Eyed Peas, Bruno Mars, or any other crap then stop reading because you can't be my baby momma. I use Herbal Essences shampoo, I do aroma-therapy here and there from shit I buy at Crabtree and Evelyn, and I love to watch "Love it or List It" and some Bridal shows. I'm not gay though. If you watch Grey's Anatomy then stop reading because you're going to be crazy and won't put out. You're probably wondering why the hell would you want to be my baby momma, well here's why:


From the minute the kid is born he's going to be kicking a football. Everyday, from birth, even on the hospital bed, he'll be kicking a football. He won't learn how to read or write, he'll be kicking a football his entire life. By the time he's 9 he'll be kicking 30-yard field-goals on the regular. He'll get a full scholarship to Alabama (because they know how to forge documents) and will be a black kicker in the NFL. He'll be able to kick 60 yard field goals like it's nothing. He'll be rookie of the year, then he'll make the pro-bowl 10 years in a row, then MVP and a future HOF. He'll be rich, making us rich and you, the baby momma, can buy your expensive weaves and not buy the no-name brand tampons. You feel me? It's a win win, so respond to this message or your ass is going to lose out. Peace.

Recapping the Night: 

NFL:
$400 Tampa Bay -6 -115= Return of $747.83 (W)
$400 Patriots -8 -110= Return of $763.64 (W)
$500 Ravens -3.5 -105= Return of $976.19 (W)
$400 Giants/Packers over 43 -110= Return of $763.64 (W)
NCAAF:
$400 FIU +1.5 -110= Return of $763.64 (W)
NBA:
$500 Pacers/Grizzlies over 197 -110 (L)
TOtal Wagered: $2600
Total Returned: $4014.94
Total Profit: $1414.94
Total Earned to Date: $14073.96

Contact Info: BustaBusta_2001@yahoo.com

May the winners be ours. Taking over the world one step at a time. In case you haven't gotten the memo my name is Julius James and I'm the fucking shit.