The Legend of D.C.

Note to self, I have to stay away from gin for a minute. What a weird buzz it gives. I've known this chick for about a year now (no Tasha slander you fags) and she's fucking hot. If you're a virgin, or you don't get laid often, she has those kind of tits that will make you go home and start jacking off right away. She tells me a lot of these stories but there's one in particular that stands out. She's a bartender at my local pub and I always call her "Alka-Seltzer" and no one knows why, she rarely tells people why. However today she got a little tipsy and was ready to tell people the story. So we're gathered around like it's story time and she begins to tell the story:

"I had a boyfriend for 3 years who had a small cock and I hated fucking him. I'd read about ways to enhance an orgasm in Maxim. So I read about sticking alka-seltzer in your vagina and I did it. It burnt the shit out of my pussy and there he was with a knife trying to take it off"

But that's not what I want to talk about. As she's telling the story there are 5 of us gathered around. 4 of us are acting normal just enjoying her tits and enjoying the story. There's one guy "D.C" (Drunk Chink) who just couldn't control himself. Dude was having a fucking orgasm while she was telling the story and he couldn't keep it in anymore. I whisper to my boy "yo dude check where his glass is." See DC was holding his glass normally and all of a sudden he put it right over his cock, to presumably hide the boner. As Tasha finishes the story another guy starts talking about how he has stuck ice up a woman's pussy and she had the best orgasm ever. DC can't hold it in anymore, he's getting uncomfortable and then it happened.

"Troo fingas up the bum." That's the first thing DC ever said. So now I'm intrigued and I'm asking him " Yo what the fuck?" He says " I like to stick troo fingers up my bum" and dude starts laughing like this shit is normal. Then he goes on and on giving hand signals about things he's had women done to him. He mentioned "cream-pie" and I don't know what the fuck he was talking about, however it was hilarious watching this guy try to fit in. Here he is, some mid 40s Chinese guy who can barely speak a word of english talking about how he gets girls to play with his asshole and he was getting excited like a little child. If you have a kid, and you tell the kid that you're taking him to Disneyworld, now imagine his reaction. That was DC's reaction during the entire time at the pub once the pussy talk came up. I'm not sure the guy has ever had sex and I know this blog doesn't do justice to exactly how funny it was but fuck "Troo Fingas up the bum," I was in tears.

I'll recap later, bullshit night, picks up before noon, peace.

NCAAF:
$400 Georgia Tech +3 -115
NFL:
$400 Saints/Cardinals over 49.5 -110
NBA:
$300 OKC/Dallas over 203.5 -110
$300 Twolves/Hornets over 200.5 -110
Play of the Day:
$600 Georgia Tech/Air Force over 56 -110
Total Wagered: $2000
Total Returned: $572.73
Total Loss: $1427.27
Total Earned to Date: $12646.69

 

Contact Info: BustaBusta_2001@yahoo.com

May the winners be ours. Taking over the world one step at a time. In case you haven't gotten the memo my name is Julius James and I'm the fucking shit.