The Trip That Was

I'm still not myself but getting better, let's try this tonight. I can't speak on everything haha but I'll do my best to give you the details I can. Amazing time. Shout out to Slick, Leland, Sheldog, Jaz, Gabriel Morency, Richard Garner, Pieman, GM, Jorge Gonzalez, Teddy Covers, T-Bone and anyone I missed. Let's go. 

Philly and Cops:

Philadelphia, you suck. Such a beaten city, I fucking hate you. I missed my connection because of a delay in Pearson. So the chick, black starts laughing as she prints out my ticket. I couldn't take it. I just say "Fuck you and your weave." Another employee pulled me away, white girl, go figure, gives me a ticket that would see me out of Philly and tells me don't take her on. Next thing I got cops in Segways and this black bitch wants me arrested. White girl took my side, I'm on a plane to Phoenix. Fuck you Philly. 

White Girls:

I give y'all a tonne of love but man I'm starting to change my mind. A trillion hours later I'm in Phoenix and it's 12:30am. Haven't eaten since Monday and nothing is open in the airport. I lay my bag on the seat and try to sleep. For starters, Phoenix sucks too, it's impossible to sleep. Every 30minutes there is an announcement of leaving your bag unattended. So I'm sleeping for 30mins and CNN is on tv. So I'm sleeping next to this middle aged white girl. CNN announces Borders is closing 150 stores and going bankrupt, this bitch, while I'm sleeping yells "OH NO This is Terrible." I woke right up. I'm like, mam do you work at Borders. "No I just shop there once a week" Everytime she slept I kicked the fuck out of her chair so it'd rattle to where she was sleeping. When she got up I'd pretend to sleep or say "what was that?" Her reply: "they're probably testing for terrorists." Fucking unreal.

Vegas: 

Beaten down Wednesday. Lost more than I could ever anticipate, had a few dollars left over. It was bad, started replacing meals with Sunflower seeds, started riding public transport and drinking Bud. Friday, lost a little and things were still bad. Saturday, I slept 18 hours on Saturday, missed the UFC, cashed every motherfucking ticket I laid and I was back in action. Sunday, cashed 3 tickets in the morning, missed the UFC but thanks to an inside tip I made back just about every dollar I lost. Thing that sucks is I was broke til Sunday then all of a sudden when Gabe leaves I'm drinking Razzarittas and just about everything that wasn't the $14 dollar Vodka bottles I was drinking during the week. 

Miscellaneous: 

-felt the thighs of a Playmate/Lingerie Bowl athlete...fucking steel. Those Playboy models were amazing. Looks and personalities were great, intelligent, sexy and we were too beaten to attend the after party that we were invited to. Imagine that, so beaten down you can't even attend parties with girls on the cover of Playboy.

-when coming back they stopped the belt which my bag was on. Lets just say there were many things that could have fell in, I was sweating bullets, the guy says "you're free to go sir" and grabs some deaf dude and pulls him aside. Lucky me. 

-Lingerie bowl = 100000x better than the Superbowl, especially when you got VIP seats. I can't explain it, what a game, hot ass chicks who the each other and beating the fuck out of each other. Unreal. 

-Celebs that were spotted: Charles Barkley, Rampage Jackson,  Steven Seagull.Too many other MMA guys to name.

- Gray Maynard is fucking class, had a blast with the dude on Thurs. and Friday.

- Melvin Guilliard aka Young Assassin is a bitch who got his body guard to tell me I was too close to him at a craps table. Who the fuck cares about your bitch ass, I was trying to win money and didn't understand the game. Hope the fucker loses his next fight.

-Woke up one morning to a bin filled with shit and diapers, I was kicking down doors and shit so I guess my neighbours were pissed.

-The Luxor was great, they tolerated us haha and things could have gone south many times.

-Goat sniping was out in full effect. 

This blog sucks doesn't do justice to what went down but it'll do, I'll try to adjust numbers and post picks tomorrow, emphasis on try, still beaten down but loads better from yesterday. I ain't even re-reading it so if it's filled with mistakes and you're upset then eat a dick with spam and olives. I'm out, Peace.