A Motherfucking Tree

I'll talk about Strip Club etiquette tomorrow I need to speak on something today. So I decide to hit the tread today and the thing kicked the shit out of me. So I'm laying on the couch, semi-dead, eating a Burger King Spicy Chicken sandwich because that shit is $2.25 on Thursdays. For whatever reason the channel is on CNN and then I saw some shit I still can't believe is real. Now white people I cut y'all a lot of slack. Some of you folks eat your own cum. I said alright. Some of you folks kiss your girl in the mouth after head. I said alright. Some folks think it's okay for your 61 year old mother to have the birth of your child. I said alright. Some of y'all wanted Mike Vick executed for killing a few Poodles. I said alright. But this is the final straw: 

As I'm watching CNN today they are talking about some dude who poisoned a few 130 year old trees at the University of Auburn. Of course CNN, on a slow day has nothing to talk about so they say "we are now live at the University of Auburn press conference for an update on the trees." I'm thinking this can't be real right now. So of course they go to the press conference and there is a University of Auburn Professor taking questions. So one chick asks "as of today we're being told the trees have a 1-2% chance at survival is that accurate?" The dude answering the question, his name is Stephen Enloe, says "I will never give up hope." Then this white dude starts to fucking cry. He's crying to the point where he can no longer take any more questions and they shut down the press conference. Check from the 5 minute mark of this video: Grown Ass Man Crying For A Tree.

Then the reporters on CNN are sympathizing with him. What the fuck. My nigga you are a motherfucking Professor. You went to school for like 10 extra years than what was required. Go to your motherfucking class, find the hottest girl and tell her if she wants an A she has to suck you off and make you Hamburger Helper. Instead your on motherfucking National Tv crying about a motherfucking tree. I can't even conceptualize it. A tree doesn't give head, a tree doesn't make people any money, a tree is a big ass brown thing, with a big ass green thing at the top. Yet this nigga is crying his ass off saying shit like "I'll never give up hope."  2011 and people out here crying real fucking tears over wood (no homo). This shit makes me want to go outside and poison trees for the fuck of it just to make grown men cry over nothing. Like dude you got all your limbs, you got a job, you're making good money, why the fuck are you distraught over a fucking tree. White people, the Europeans didn't beat the fuck out of the Natives and the Mexicans so y'all could cry over trees, get your shit together. 

Recapping the Night: 

Play of the Day:
$600 Mavs -1 -110= Return of $1145.45 (W)

NBA:
$300 Mavs/Spurs over 206 -110= Return of $572.73 (W)

NCAA:
$400 Washington/Arizona St. over 145 -110 (L)

Total Wagered: $1300

Total Returned: $1718.18

Total Profit: $418.18

Total Earned to Date: $13439.20

Contact Info: Moneyhungry45@hotmail.com

May the winners be ours. Taking over the world one step at a time. In case you haven't gotten the memo my name is Julius James and I'm the fucking shit.