Strip Club Etiquette Part 1

As degenerates lets face it, most of y'all don't get laid. This question always pops up in my inbox now and then: "hey how much do you pay for sex?" Alright let's clear things up a little, when you have a blog like this and a brain that works like mine, I could be a fucking heroin addict and I still wouldn't have to pay for it. Do y'all know where Årdalstangen, Norway is? Me neither but there's a chick that loves me out there. Every single month she sends me a packaged box thingy filled with this Norwegian food called "Krumkake." I don't even know if it's spoiled by the time I get it but I eat that shit and it's fucking great. She also sends me pictures of herself (told you I'd give you a blog mention), that's the life I live, but this life ain't for everybody. So I'll help y'all get laid and of course I'm going to lose some long term vagina in my life but oh well, the things I do for y'all, lets go. For the record I don't condone this shit lmao I ain't 15 anymore but if you're going to do it then you may as well do it right. Plus strippers have to pay bills too.

 For starters the best place to pay for sex is the strip club. There's a bed(s) in every strip club and for the right price you could have whatever you want. But here's the main idea: everything is negotiable. I'm obviously generalizing but the only girls that will fuck you for free is the white chick who has had a rough day, or the Latin birds if you get close to them. $100 and she'll toy with your dick, $300 and you'll get everything you ever wanted, $1000 and we're talking multiple partners. See you have to remember, a strip club is a flea market for vagina where you're expected to pretend it isn't. Treat them as humanly as possible and not as holes where you want to deposit your cum and you'll get what you want. They are there to fuck you, you're telling me high rolling celebs go to strip clubs so some 18 year old chick could politely press up on their dick?? Please, everyone in the club got a price and if your a degenerate and want the low-life pussy that isn't off the street then this is your best option. How do you lower prices? Song selection. It's all in motherfucking song selection. For 4-6 hours a day she's robotic, if you're able to find the human in her and not just try to get in her pants...then you'll get in her pants. Let's break this down by races/personalities. 

 The Asians

Songs: Barbie Girl- Aqua, Hollaback Girl- Gwen Stafani, Top Preference: Yummy-Gwen Stefani

If you want an Asian bird ( I don't know why anyone would want this) then you have to realize that they've had hard lives. You're either going to get an Asian that doesn't speak english at all, fresh off the boat from Taiwan. Or you'll get a chinese chick that lived in North America her entire life. Either way, her parents don't love her. How many Asians kids struggle in North America? None. If daddy loved her then an Asian chick wouldn't be stripping. She has fucked up parents who kicked her out when she brought home a black guy. If you got an Asian that doesn't speak english then you're fucked, give her what she's asking and get on with it. If you got an Asian that does speak english then your in luck. Request one of the songs I suggested, they love that pokemon sounding shit. Make her laugh, tell her she's beautiful, tell her how much of a long day your having but she's brightening it up. See what the Canadian-Asian chick really wants is a compliment because she lives a lonely ass life. Feed her compliments, make her smile, let her know that she really brightened your day and she'll give you whatever you want at a cheaper rate.

Black Girls. 

Top Songs: This is How We Do It- Montell Jordan, Rush Rush- Paula Abdul, Top Preference: Usher- You Make me Wanna. 

Once again, I don't know why anyone would want a black stripper but hey different strokes. When dealing with a black chick she isn't like an Asian, chances are her life wasn't hard at all. She's either a single parent because Jo'hovain left her ass or she's fucking lazy. There's no morality involved, she wants to buy her kid's diapers and keep her Iphone, or she just doesn't want to work at Best Buy because she ain't smart and Best Buy is the best job she'd get besides stripping. Prices are hard to negotiate with black chicks, she'll negotiate if she's a single parent but then you're an asshole and should pay her whatever she wants. If she's not a parent then you have to break down her price. Request the songs I suggested because it takes her out of the Robotic "Justin Timberlake" bullshit that people request. Act poor but make sure you make her know that she's desirable and she might break. Or just give her some fake jewelry, black people love materialistic shit. Give her some shit from Claire's accessories, give her some lipstick (she won't even ask where you got it) give her a stolen cell-phone and the plane will be ready to land.

Alright, shorty just woke up and she says she'll be up all night, which means I'm going to be jerking off on skype til 4am, will do part 2 tomorrow night, will recap in the morning, peace. 

Recapping the night: 

Play of the Day:
$600 LA/Cavs over 202 -110=Return of $1145.45


Profit of $545.45, total: 13021.02


Alright, shorty just woke up and she says she'll be up all night, which means I'm going to be jerking off on skype til 4am, will do part 2 tomorrow night, will recap in the morning, peace.