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Saturday, February 19, 2011

Strip Club Etiquette Part 2

Let's get right back into it. 

Punk Rocker White Girls:

Top Songs: Marilyn Manson- Tainted Love, The Doors- 5 to 1, Top Song: Nirvana- Smells Like Teen Spirit. 

If you're a real shady dude then head straight for the goth/punk white stripper, you won't regret it. They are underrated dancers, they get the least amount of money in the club, and they don't care for money. They want drugs. They live life high, never sober and are stripping to basically buy drugs and pay rent. They aren't even addicts. They just say fuck life, they love the Roddy White or pills. On slow days they ask around so it's very easy if you're a dirtbag lmao. They don't want your approval, they don't want compliments, they want drugs and maybe some honey nut cheerios. I'm dead serious, they don't eat well balanced meals, buy them a box of Captain Crunch and you're smiling. 


European White Girls:

Top Songs: Anything generic. 

The most obvious girls in the strip club are these ones. They come from Poland and Russia and Hungary and they can't fucking speak english and they are insecure but they're a huge tease. They have set prices and they won't bend unless they're really bored. Avoid these types if you can, sometimes if you even attempt to try something they'll have their "people" deal with you. They can't dance, they don't complete the dance til the end of the song, some of them got a bad  odor, some of them don't shave, their hair is never real, they couldn't tell you the capital of Canada, they often don't brush their teeth but they wear the sexiest shit in the club, best accessories and a lot of make-up and thus they bring in the most dollars. If you think I'm kidding then wait until the lights come on....

Miscellaneous Girls:

Natives- If they have a dream catcher tat. or some Eagle or some shit then chances are they're Native American. I've only come in contact with one of these girls and she seemed fucking needy, almost like she was stripping for the sole purpose to make herself seem desirable. The insecure girls make the best strippers so if you find one, you're in luck. 

Indian- Every now and then the strip club might have an Indian or two. They can't dance but they aren't built to be strippers and with that comes some great humanistic qualities. Be careful though, the chicks from India are rebelling against their dad or brother or some shit and they don't care about money so unless you spit some outrageous price, you aren't getting shit. Pretty generic dances though. However, you'll come across a chick once in a blue moon who is Indian but from the UK or Belgium or South Africa. Those like a challenge, keep challenging her, act bored, act disinterested, then spit a price but when you do, make sure you don't over-commit. Acting disinterested is the key, the better you do it, the more likely she'll be to accept your first offer. 

Bartenders/Waitress- Make so mistake, in this Vagina flea market everyone has a price. These come at a higher price but you're paying for quality here. You have to be a semi-high roller to hang with these ones and if she likes you she'll construct a fake relationship with you so that you could buy her shiny things. However, there's a lot of suckers in this world, the later you arrive and the better you tip, the more they'll be willing to do you. At the end of their shift they are beat and tired and are starving for cock, the key is to act like you aren't a creep. "My friends brought me here and I hate it!" usually works. They hate their jobs, they hate their lives, but once again they make excellent money and they're not exactly college material. They get horny once the club is about to close, work your magic then. 

NBA:
$300 Rookies +6.5 -110= Return of $572.73 (W)
Play of the Day:
$600 UCONN +4 -110 (L)

Total Wagered: $900
Total Returned: $572.73
Total Loss: $327.27
Total Earned to Date: $13101.93

Contact Info: Moneyhungry45@hotmail.com
May the winners be ours. Taking over the world one step at a time. In case you haven't gotten the memo my name is Julius James and I'm the fucking shit.

2 comments:

Genieus said...

Talking about strippers and strip clubs my boys getting married the bachelor party already passed so the other night he says bro im going to watch some tits and ass you should come with. So the degenerate that i am says bro to tired watching the game then im going to crash. Anyways he ends up going to the club with another one of his boys. So a couple drinks in they decide to go in the back and touch some titty, but what did buddy forget to do before going to the back and have some sweaty dirty grind up on his shit. He forgot his keys so long story short buddy comes out and his Lincoln Zephr is gonzo and the cab ride home cost 60 bones. Moral of the story always bring your keys into the champagne room. :)

Anonymous said...

play of the day......st johns WINS outright........bet your moms fine ass on it brother..love the stripper write up..keep up the bood work.......also parlay that with bologna----palmaro---draw.....evenly matched teams with 2 coaches that are happy for one point.....GOOD LUCK