This weekend was supposed to be my "kick back on the futon and watch MASH/Hogan's Heroes weekend." Fuck was I wrong. See my parents are going away for a bit, next week I got the house to myself. Being the responsible man I am, I went to Bed, Bath, and Beyond (no homo). I picked up scented candles, silk sheets, and this kick ass soap dispenser. I withdrew some blog money so it didn't really matter, I went all out. See for the upcoming week I was planning on having something I'd like to call "United Nations Week" I was going to have a chick from like every country and I'd just be plowing right through and onto the next one. Uruguay, Portugal, hell even Senegal was invited, it was going down. To make matters worse I also got midterms/exams so it was going to be a busy week.
So Saturday morning came around, a week before my parents were expected to leave, my mom comes down to the basement and says "Hey do you remember my second cousin from NJ." I said oh ya ( I haven't seen her in 2+ years). My mom replies " Well her husband's on vacation and they have no place to go so when we are in Mexico they asked if they could come over with the kids, oh and they're bringing a friend or two." (Insert the most grotesque, vulgar response you could think of here) See, for the past 6 weeks they have drilled me on how to take care of the house. Now, during exam time and what was supposed to be United Nations Week, I have to take care of people I don't even know. After all this they have the audacity to say " This works out better for us because we'll be in Mexico so we don't have to take care of them and they'll take care of themselves so you don't have to bother.
Okay, so my entire Thanksgiving weekend, it was on. If you thought the Vietnam war was fucking bad you should have been in my house. Not even white people do this to their kids. See I might have actually calmed down and not slammed my hand in a wall if they had admit they were wrong and just said "we understand your point of view." But no, for 3 motherfucking days, 72 fucking hours I had to hear about how I'm selfish and they tried to throw morality down my throat "God would have wanted it." So fuck it, I didn't want to do this but I am. Enjoy, I know you will, admit it: (An Open Letter to my Parents):
Dear Mom and Dad,
Do I look like MOTHERFUCKING MARY POPPINS TO YOU. Do I walk around in a fucking black dress and an umbrella saving people. I'm not TIM FUCKING TEBOW, I don't care about bible verses and I don't fucking save Filipino Orphans. I don't give a fuck about what is right or wrong. You continuously asked me "what to do if you were in our position." Well you know what I would have said " Fuck you, I'm not running a motel 6, I'm not home and my kid wants to bang Taiwanese strippers all week long so go to the fucking Holiday Inn." I'd like to fucking thank you mom and dad. You showed me what not to do in life. You trusted everyone and everyone practically fucked you over. You helped out your broke ass brother and what did he do? He fucking went and blew it on Lakeport. For fuck sakes the man didn't even buy premium beer. He drank Lakeport until he fucking went bankrupt and you thought he was going to use the money to take care of his kids. Don't think I forgot about you Pops. You worked 1 fucking long day in the last 10 years, 1 fucking day of overtime and everyone has to hear about how "hard your job is." You've been coming home at noon for the past 10 fucking years but the 1 day you work overtime and it's the end of the world. Everything you two have done I've done the complete opposite. You went to church, I went to the Woodbine Racetrack and gambled with the old Jamaican pensioners. You told me to wait until marriage to have sex, I banged that upside down lips girl when I was 14 and jumped from the second story balcony when her mom came in. You told me not to do drugs, I'm going to smoke a fat spliff tomorrow. You told me you wanted me to become a doctor or a lawyer, I'm going to be making minimum wage serving bullshit ass soup and crackers at CULTURES. You hate your lives, I love mine.
Baseball:
$300 Braves/Giants over 7 -120 (L)
CFL:
$300 Montreal/Calgary over 56 -110= Return of $572.73 (W)
$300 BC Lions +3 +110 (L)
NFL:
$400 Jets -4.5 -110- Return of $763.64 (W)
Play of the Day:
$600 Jets/Vikings over 38.5 -110= Return of $1145.45 (W)
Total Wagered: $1900
Total Returned: $2481.82
Total Profit: $581.82
Total Earned to Date: $2544.10
Contact info: BustaBusta_2001@yahoo.com
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