While normal people wake up and turn the tv on to their local television channel or CNN I have a different routine. I get up and read various newspapers around the world. The Jamaican Gleaner, the Trinidad Express, the UK telegraph, the UK sun, the Botswana Herald and the Croatia Times are all in the rotation. I do it, not because I care of what's going on in the world around me but I like to see how fucked up people are in various parts of the world and what's the country ideology for these other places. Yesterday I came across the strangest shit I have ever heard of in my life, mechaphiles.
Some dude from Yelm, Washington is claiming to have sex with over 1000 cars and a helicopter. That isn't a typo, dude is having sex with cars. He's never had a relationship with human beings, since 15 years old he's been having sex with cars. The journalist dug deeper and found out that there is an increasing population of mechaphiles in the world, all who like to bang the shit out of cars and share their stories on forums. What. The. Fuck. Call me naive and I know that weird shit exists but there's about 10k people in this world that has relationships with cars. They marry them, dump them, cheat on them, have anal with them, give them oral, etc. I'm fucking lost. 16 years ago when I was attending Sunday school the teacher would be telling me "the world is such a beautiful place, God has given us everything we needed, he's preparing us for heaven and the world is a wonderful place to begin" Is this the fucking world she was talking about?
I'm not buying the excuse these people are "sick" either they work perfectly fine jobs they drink, smoke, watch sports like the rest of us, this isn't one of those things where they're secluded from the world. After the 9-5 is up they go home and fuck the shit out of their cars. The bible told me to love my neighbour, how the fuck am I supposed to love someone who bangs the exhaust pipe of a Ford Escort? Then the bible told me that we're all brothers and sisters. If my brother or sister was banging cars I'd shoot them in the face and be happy with whatever jail time I got. I can't wrap my head around this, mechaphiles. Everytime I get in a car for the next week I'm going to be wondering if the driver has had a sexual relationship with the car, thanks world.
Recapping the Night:
MLB:
$300 Rangers -125 (L)
NBA:
$300 Rockets/Warriors over 212.5 -110= Return of $572.73 (W)
NHL (Scott's Pick):
$200 ATL/NYR over 5.5 -115= Return of $373.91 (W)
Play of the Day:
$600 Knicks money line +105= Return of $1230 (W)
Total Wagered: $1400
Total Returned: $2176.64
Total Profit: $776.64
Total Earned to Date: $4102.85
Contact Info: BustaBusta_2001@yahoo.com
May the winners be ours. Taking over the world one step at a time. In case you haven't gotten the memo my name is Julius James and I'm the fucking shit.
8 comments:
Haha where you typed this isn't a typo. It actually was a typo, you said cards. Classic lol
Fuck my life.
Over 5.5 in Edmonton at Columbus. Dubnyk vs. Mason. Dubnyk hasn't played since last year while Mason has a 3.18 GAA. 3 of the 4 matchups last year went over 5.5.
Let me pick your brain for a minute how do you like the grand salami today at 45? Over or under? Or avoid. That means there's 8 games today, a total of 5.6 goals would be need per game for the grand salami to go over 45. Let me know.
I'd say under, but that's really tough to call.
I'll avoid it then. Was thinking we get another 10 goal game then the thing goes over with ease but I don't feel like playing with fire. Thanks.
It'd be nice to nail an easy over but today in almost all of the totals the under is favorite
i've never banged my car.... but the seat warmers sometimes make my batty feel like it's melting from the inside-out.
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