There's always a white family in every neighbourhood who have a nasty ass house, refuses to shower daily and is sick for weeks at a time. Minus the whole nasty ass house and refusing to shower thing, I feel like them. Going on week 2 of this "common cold" and one thing I will admit, when I get sick I'm the biggest pussy around. I lay here and do nothing but take these no-name drowsy capsules and bitch at the world. Usually, during the day I'm busy and not able to do much, today I barely made it out bed and sat here and did nothing all day. At the end of this stressful, unproductive day I've come to the realization that for everybody's sake, I better get cured soon.
It started with me getting up at 11:30. I have class at 12 and there wasn't a chance in hell I was going to make it so I laid around the bed for a while. I eventually get up, make a bok choy sandwich (it tastes as bad as it sounds) and plumped my fat ass on the couch. I watched about 3 streamed episodes of Six Feet Under, some old HBO boxing fights and read a bit. Now it's 3pm and I'm fucking bored and I can't breathe. I spend an hour searching up info on "nasal irrigation" then perform the task. (google it if you don't know what it means). That whole task just fucked me up even more and was a waste of my time. I had a wank and realized that masturbating makes me breathe easier. Throughout the day I found porn like "mature" "swingers" "interracial" "college" and lastly, I'm not ashamed to admit "midget porn." I didn't think such a thing existed in such an abundant fashion but it does and it was one of those things where you can't watch and you can't turn away. Finally I jerked my cock so much it stopped getting hard so I decided to continue some trending topics on twitter, as you can tell this day is turning out to be amazing.
It's now 7pm and I have plenty of time before football starts. I figure why not go on facebook and see how crappy people's lives have become since I last known them in highschool. The first thing I see is "Shit, the block is hot and the streets is watching, RIP George". Some fucker from my highschool is talking about his dead great uncle and making it seem like the guy got shot 15 times when in fact he was old and died of natural causes. If there's one thing I can't stand it's when people put "RIP" on social networks. It's always fake because someone who is naturally grieving would never bother to put messages on social networks. Who the fuck cares? The person that is dead certainly can't read your bullshit plagiarized inspirational message and it ain't like anyone on your friend's list truly gives a fuck that your Great Uncle is dead. So I quickly exited facebook, what to do next? At this point I'm so fucking bored I'm contemplating giving myself a circumcision. I thought I hit rock bottom with that "RIP, the streets is watching" bullshit but I was wrong. Will Smith's kid Willow has some song out that everyone keeps talking about. I wanted to see how crappy it was. If you want to endure the pain and suffering that I endured today then please click here.
FBI, CSI, RCMP, God, 50-Tyson, Jesus, Muhammad, Allah, whoever the Jews worship, Buddha, Vishnu, Fox News, whoever else is reading this could you please send me a cure for the common cold. It's been 2 weeks now and you know my black ass isn't going to get up from this couch. Wouldn't it be easier if one of you just emailed me the cure. I don't care if it's stem-cell research or if it means I have to listen a Justin Bieber cd, one of you higher powers has the authority to help me out and I'd really appreciate it because if I have to sit here and listen to Willow Smith for another day then I'm going to start stealing wheelchairs and selling it to trailor-trash and other forms of ghetto people who need wheelchairs to claim disability/insurance. Don't test me.
Recapping the Night:
$600 New England +100
Total Won: $600
Total Earned To Date: $1837.29
Contact info: BustaBusta_2001@yahoo.com
1 comment:
you're just not leaving your house because you're a snitch and the garbage chute is on the other side of the elevator and man dem will box you.
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