My Brother's First Taste of the Real World.

I have a 15 year old brother and I can't figure him out. He's disinterested in every single thing. He knows some hot chicks but I know he isn't getting laid. He hangs around some weed smokers but he doesn't get high. He gets decent grades has no interest in sports, girls, drugs, or anything. All he does, is post up on the wall of a Esso Gas Station after school and just hang. 365 days a year it's all he ever does, hang outside the front doors of an On the Run convenience store and occasionally get a Pepsi squishy with about 3 of his friends.  The kid is weird man usually at that age you're either being super rebellious or being super good but I can't figure the guy out. Anyways for the past month or so he's been talking about this KFC double down sandwich. Something about a sandwich with no bun but instead 2 pieces of chicken and bacon. My brother shows no interest in anything so it was weird seeing him all happy and shit that a KFC sandwich was coming to Canada.

Today I took him to get the combo and I swear I felt as though I was doing charity work for the Make-A-Wish foundation. Dude was so happy he couldn't even put on his seat-belt. We get to the counter, I make sure I get the Big Crunch with orange sauce this time because the mayo at this place looks a bit suspect and could very well be a body fluid I don't want to mention here. After about a 10 minute wait our food arrives (10 minutes because the Chinese girl who works the cash and the Tamil girl who cooks the stuff don't speak a word of english.) If you ever want to a free comedy show just go to KFC where there will inevitably be Chinese and Tamil refugees who try to communicate with various hand signals and seal-like grunts. The food arrives and we drive back home. Dude is racing from the car to the front door and he's the happiest I've ever seen since we went to a WWE event 6 years ago. Then it all fell apart.

He opens his sandwich and out comes this grotesque, rubbery thing.  It's like they took a small piece of a Michelin tire, added rank cheese, burnt bacon and called it a sandwich. I don't know what a colon looks like but if I were to anticipate what a colon were to look like, it'd be this KFC double down sandwich. I'm convinced my scrotum is bigger than that entire sandwich, he finished it in 4 bites. He looks at my mom and says "um this looks nothing like it did on tv" to which I intervene "welcome to the real world." The kid looked as though he just had his cock stapled to a board with a nail gun. Had I offered by brother the option, eat another double down sandwich or stay in a Chilean mine for 69 days he would have surely taken the mine option. Those 33 dudes had it easy, they didn't have to eat a KFC double down. This is what life is about folks: aids, disappointment, and the hope that tomorrow things won't be as fucked up as today. Welcome to the real world. 

Recapping the night: 

CFL:
$300 Toronto +1.5 -105 (L)
MLB:
$200 Yankees/Rays under 8.5 -130 (L)
$500 Yankees -150= Return of $833.33 (W)
NCAA:
$400 Cincy/L'Ville over 58.5 -110= Return of $763.64 (W)
Play of the Day:
$600 Cincinnati -2.5 -115= Return of $1121.74 (W)
Total Wagered: $2000
Total Returned: $2718.71
Total Profit: $718.71
Total Earned to Date: $3079.67

Contact info: BustaBusta_2001@yahoo.com

May the winners be ours. Taking over the world one step at a time. In case you haven't gotten the memo my name is Julius James and I'm the fucking shit.