Autumn's Biggest Dissapointment

I have this friend who is hot, in her 30s and looks like Pam from the Office. She's not only smart, a CEO, and attractive but she's one of the few people who I surround myself with who doesn't give me bad advice and does things genuinely from her heart. Oh and she's also married to a good guy (I'm only saying this because the guy is Polish and might feed me my own limbs because all Polish people are crazy saints)

So let me re-iterate, she's hot. However, I don't get to see her too often and she's smart enough to know that I'm a compulsive wanker and she won't send me pictures. However, every October she goes to Oktoberfest and wears this sexy German outfit similar to the one in today's display picture. Every October I wait for these pictures like a 4 year old waits for Santa Clause. It's a small victory in my life where victories are hard to come by. Looking forward to seeing a hot chick in a "Dirndl" (German outfit for all you uncultured dudes) is what my life has become. See, upon analyizing my life I've discovered that I'm destined to become "that guy".

You know that guy who lives in a basement apartment and never leaves the house other than to get groceries and buy booze or lottery tickets. You know that guy whose only contact with the real world is to buy drugs, sex, or scratch tickets. I've come to the conclusion that for the rest of my life I'm going to be sitting in shitty ass futons drinking whatever is on sale at the beer store and betting on teams like William and Mary College and Oral Roberts. I'm only going to leave the house out of necessity and the only excitement in my life is when the  tax refund cheques come in the mail or when Dairy Queen has that special sale where the Ice Cream cakes are 1/2 price for the entire month. I'm going to be that guy whose brother invites him over for Christmas dinner with his family, because I have no family, and I'll decline saying I found someone special and I'm going over to her house for dinner. Except there is no "her" because I'm anti-social and the only females in my life are the cheap Tawainese girls I pay at the rub and tug. I'm destined to become "that guy".

So seeing a hot friend in a sexy German outfit is enough to keep me happy for the entire season of Autumn. Today I found out that there won't be any hot friend in a sexy outfit because she isn't going to Oktoberfest because she's too busy. In conclusion, the outfit only gets rolled out once a year and this year I won't be viewing the pictures I was looking forward to see. Is it so hard to ask, when you're destined to become "that guy" for a few hot pictures. When it rains, it pours. As you can tell I don't have much going for me in the future. Today I had an Indian girl almost contact the local police authorities in Mumbai because I was in a chat room trying to get Skype sex and referred to her as my "wifey." She thought I meant that she was literally my wife and started freaking out threatening to call the authorities on my ass. This is what my life has become and to make things even worse, I won't be getting the hot German pictures this year. I'm out, going to play the game "chicken" with a train.

Recapping the night: 

Early NHL Pick:
$100 Wild/Hurricanes over 5.5 +110 (W)= Return of $210 (W)
$200 Hurricanes -115= Return of $373.91 (W)

NHL:
$200 MTL +135 (L)
$400 Flames -105 (L)

Baseball:
$400 Rays -120 (L)
$200 Giants/Braves over 6.5 -120 (L)

College Football:
$400 Nebraska -10.5 -110= Return of $763.64 (W)

Play of the Day:
$600 Yankees -115 Return of $1121.74 (W)

Total Wagered: $2500

Total Returned: $2469.29

Total Loss: $30.71

Total Earned to Date: $2627.19

Contact info: BustaBusta_2001@yahoo.com

May the winners be ours. Taking over the world one step at a time. In case you haven't gotten the memo my name is Julius James and I'm the fucking shit.