My First Voting Experience.

Before I get into it I'm going to confess this is going to be ignorant as shit but it's how I feel so if you don't like it I suggest you take up mining in the Chilean mountains, funny how we forgot about those wannabe Mexicans already.

I'm 21 so I've been able to vote for a while now but I usually don't give a fuck about these things, it's like picking the lesser of two evils. However in today's mayoral election I actually did give a fuck so I went out and voted and dragged my mom with me. In the line to vote all I could see was black folks like this was the line outside KFC during toonie-Tuesday. Unfortunately I knew most of them and they were telling me "only pussyhole fi vote battyboy." The fuck? Okay so I lay my vote and in my ward there is a black counselor who held shit down for the past 90 years. However he's the negro who wishes he were white. I didn't want to vote for him but when I looked at the ballot and all I saw were names I couldn't pronounce I was like " fuck these refugees, let this negro take it."

But back to Rob Ford, why the fuck wouldn't I vote for the guy who has a DUI, Pot conviction, got ejected from the ACC, makes sure politicians gets taxed and donates 5 figures to high school football. I don't give a fuck what he plans to do, I identify with the blond John Candy. So I'm sitting here watching it all unfold and within minutes the KFC Double Down addict wins. I'm actually really pumped cause he's been to the "hood" a few times and I won't tell you anymore but the guy is cool, let's leave it at that. However, I'm watching the opposition, George Smitherman who is up there and he's crying like a bitch but he has his son with him who happens to be black. In my head I'm saying "shit dude fucks a black wife and got a black kid, I should have given him by vote." Then I wikipedia the guy to see how hot his wife is and wonder if I could get a wank off her, big mistake. Dude is gay and the black kid is adopted.

Now I know people are born like that and blah blah blah but personally, I wouldn't vote for someone who takes it up the ass and sucks dick. That's just me. Now those Jamaican comments were starting to make sense. I'm intrigued because everyone is bitching about how terrible Ford is, yet dude won by nearly 100k votes. This is where the real fun happens, I check the trending lists on twitter and there it was. Cyclists bitching about Rob Ford along with refugees and hippies who are afraid of what he will do to their art. I have never been on a bike and I don't know how to ride one because I grew up in poverty and owning a bike was never an option so fuck cyclists. I don't care for art unless it's that nude shit I used to jerk off to on fashion TV so fuck art. I wish all refugees would settle in Nunavut or Yukon so fuck them too.

I'm starting to think that this is the best thing that could happen to Toronto. All those pretentious assholes that line up at Nuit Blanche and hold vigils for gays who died from aids and like to play the Bongo will now leave the city. Rob Ford calls the Chinese "Orientals" and he's promised to stop letting them into Toronto. He's an alcoholic so I'm sure he'll do something with the crazy alcohol prices and we don't have to deal with cyclists or streetcars. What the fuck is there not to like about him? We've all made mistakes in our lives, I highly doubt the guy is going to get behind the wheel again while plastered, he represents the good of the working man. Fuck taxes, fuck cyclists, fuck art, fuck refugees, and fuck the suits who decide everything. I want the guy who doesn't give a fuck about anything but saving my ass money and keeping me entertained by his realism and individuality. Strangely, a lot of people in this city share the same feelings as I do but will never admit it, scary. Go democracy!

Recapping the Night:

NFL:

$300 Giants money line +170= Return of $810 (W)

Scott's Pick (NHL):

$200 under 5 Mtl/Phx +110= Return of $200 (Push)

Play of the Day:

$600 Giants/Cowboys over 45 -110= Return of $1145.45 (W)

Total Wagered: $1100

Total Returned: $2155.45

Total Profit: $1055.45

Total Earned to Date: $3880.75

Contact info: BustaBusta_2001@yahoo.com

May the winners be ours. Taking over the world one step at a time. In case you haven't gotten the memo my name is Julius James and I'm the fucking shit.