Fat/Ugly People Should Not Have Any Authority

I've recently been hired to write a few fantasy football articles for a company based in the UK. Basically I let them know what's going on with injured lists, who to start, who to bench, who might have a break-out game etc. Now I'm not sure if the rest of society works like me but I work based on the cash. If I'm getting a lot of loot, expect me to work my ass off. If I'm getting fuck all then you might as well have hired a Mexican because I won't be doing shit. With that said this company pays well and in every article I write I make sure it's sufficient and beyond satisfactory for the audience who has to apply whatever I write, if they choose.

Every now and then I get a call which is basically a glorified ass-kissing session telling me how awesome I am and how subscriptions are up ever since I joined the team. I look forward to these calls because the woman who calls, my "boss", sounds fucking sexy on the phone. She could tell me "good morning" and that's enough for me to wank, it feels great having this chick ring me up bi-weekly and tell me I'm the shit, it's a minor victory in my life which is often filled with losses. Then I started thinking about the pussy. If ever I'm in the UK I could secure a place to crash, hot cooked meals and vagina on demand if I seal the deal with this hot voice on the phone so I start being flirtatious trying to get the keys to that vagina. It was fairly easy "hey I'm tired of talking to someone so beautiful who I can't see, could you send me a picture." I'm thinking this chick might be the British Jessica Alba or hell I'd even take Elizabeth Hasselbeck. Fuck me I wish I never asked. 

This girl sends me a picture and she looks like a real life Cartman with tits that sag to her ankles. It was so bad all I could do is stare in disgust. I'm trying to piece things together and she was very open about her sex life and all the guys she fucks and this chick has never gotten laid. There can't possibly be a dude out there that hit that I don't care if her vagina spews pounds of gold. Houston we have a problem, I'm no longer motivated to work. Knowing that Cartman is my boss has really tarnished things. I have no choice by the way, it's my brain it ain't me. I really do want to act like I give a fuck but my brain is telling me I shouldn't be motivated to work for Cartman, it's a really difficult situation. Then I think to myself, if there was an unwritten rule, none of this would occur. If the world didn't hire fat or ugly people and just let them pump gas and be greeters at Walmart then the world would be a much better place. So if you're in a position of authority please force the fat asses to quit so I could be motivated to work in the future, thank you. 

Recapping the Night:

Baseball:
$300 Phillies/Giants over 5.5 -125= Return of $540

Hockey:
$200 Islanders/Lightning over 5.5 -120 (L)

Play of the Day:
$600 Oregon/UCLA over 60.5 -110= Return of $1145.45 (W)

Total Wagered: $1100

Total Returned: $1685.45

Total Profit: $585.45

Total Earned to Date: $3428.05

Contact info: BustaBusta_2001@yahoo.com

May the winners be ours. Taking over the world one step at a time. In case you haven't gotten the memo my name is Julius James and I'm the fucking shit.