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Tuesday, March 1, 2011

The Demise of Julius James

I've entered the depths of faggotolism. I'm convinced my lifestyle contributed in some way, shape, or form to this stomach aids (almost healed). So despite me telling myself in the past I got to slow down, the crazy days are over. No more Roddy White (I'm not talking about the player here lol) no more Bob Marley, and very little Johnny Walker. Yup, I'm becoming a motherfucking social drinker and I mean it, my body has taken a beaten over the last few and the high is always so inconsistent. I'd bore you with the details on how I plan to do this but fuck that, I'm already a faggot as is, below are the people/things who contributed to my demise and brought me to the depths of faggotism. 

1) Spam Emails- Every fucking day I get a tonne of emails which I love. But sometimes I send some and they end up in people's spam folder. I also get a shitload of emails from people which end up in my spam folder. Y'all got no idea what it's like to sift (yea I said sift) through 100 emails with the heading "A very special offer from Burkina Faso). Fuck Africa and fuck spam emails, this shit contributed to my demise. 

2) Shit like this: Gay Ass Song. The other day I was in my friend's car and the radio was on and dude wouldn't change the channel when this song played. At the time I had been up for like 40 hours so I couldn't even be bothered to complain but fuck man this shit makes me want to get smashed and smash people who listen to this stuff. Not only that gay ass song but back in the day shit like "The Macarena" "Blue" and "Mambo #5," it made me want to get wasted and escape this faggot as shit. 

3) Anyone immigrant who got here after 2005: Not only do y'all not speak english and piss everyone else off, but if you were born in another country and got here after 2005, chances are you fucking smell. I was in a line today and the fucking smell was unbearable. Use motherfucking deodorant. The human body was not meant to smell like the washrooms at a construction site. This contributed to my demise because every minute I spent getting wasted and high meant I didn't have to tolerate this shit. I should sue y'all. 

4) Social Networks: Social networks made people become idiots. They got no idea about value or creativity or anything and they measure success by the amount of wall posts they get in a day. This contributed to my demise because these people are inferior to me (and most of y'all) and in order for me to cope with these people (95% of the world) I had to do a lot of dumb shit, that in turn made me get stomach aids. 

5) Hockey: After my parents banged for one reason or another they decided to come to Canada. That's when it fell apart. This place is cold and all people do here is play, talk, or jack off to hockey. There's a reason why the majority of the world hates this shit, it's fucking terrible. I can't lie watching it live is great but fuck the NHL, yet it's been shoved down my throat so much I've had no choice but to abuse the mood-altering drugs. 

6) Me: I know this chick who joins every cancer fundraiser thing available because it hits close to home. For years I kept my mouth shut but then the other day I couldn't take it anymore. I said "you know there's a cure for cancer right, it's called DCA and it has pretty much been proven to kill all forms of cancer but pharmaceutical companies won't allow it so basically for the last 5 years all your fund raising has gone to pay some doctor's hooker and coke habit."  She wasn't the happiest person in the world after this and I felt bad for being an asshole so I abused the bottle. 

7) Justin Bieber, Kanye West, Black Eyed Peas, etc: It's one thing to make gay ass songs but you're personalities are all ass and even though I'll be punished for this I wish all you (minus Fergie cause she's a chick...I think) were captured by Somali pirates who did whatever the fuck they wanted with y'all. Having to share my air with y'all made me pissed and thus party hard. If I had one wish I'd revoke your rights to air and water.

8) Gay people: I don't mind dudes that get it up the ass (no homo) but fuck all that gay pride bullshit. I ain't down with men acting like women, if you want another dude to fuck you in the ass then go ahead but for dudes rocking women clothing, acting like women, and thinking they are women. Fuck y'all, just the sight of that shit made me go crazy so I don't have to think about y'all twice. 

9) 24 (The Show): I spent like 8 fucking years watching this shit or however long it was. Then you string together that bullshit season finale which will never come close to Prison Break's finale (the best finale I've ever seen in my life) 24 you wasted an hour of my life, almost every week for like 8 years. I don't know my math well but that's a lot of fucking time. I compensated by making it up in partying hard. 

10) WWE: The Day I found out wrestling was fake, was the worst fucking day ever. I simply refused to believe it until my pops told me to stop being a faggot. I still have never fully recovered from this day, not even the worst kid in the world deserves to find out that people like Ahmed Johnson, The Million Dollar Baby, Mr. Perfect, and Ravishing Rick Rude are paid actors that take a little pain. Worst day ever, I'm still compensating. 

Headed straight to bed so no editing and shit, if it's fucked up oh well, will recap and send picks tomorrow, hopefully. Peace. 

Play of the Day:

Phoenix Suns -1.5 -110 (L)

NBA:
Hawks +6 -110 (L)
Celtics/Jazz over 191 -110 (W)

NCAAB:
Jackson St/Arkansas Pine Bluff over 127 -110 (L)
Idaho St./Northern Colorado over 137 -110 (W)
Kansas St/Texas over 135 -110 (smaller play) (W)

Contact Info: Moneyhungry45@hotmail.com
May the winners be ours. Taking over the world one step at a time. In case you haven't gotten the memo my name is Julius James and I'm the fucking shit.

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