Why The Fuck Do You Want To Be Free For?

You know I watch all these Arab countries on the news everyday and they're begging for freedom and shit and I can't help but think, what a fucking bunch of idiots. Real talk, those are some slow and stupid motherfuckers. I don't know about Libya and shit and it ain't like anyone give a fuck about those terrorists anyway but I know a good amount about Egypt. You had free health care, you had free education, so what you're not free, who gives a fuck you had it easy. Now all this means is you terrorist motherfuckers will lose your jobs to some kids from Bangladesh. You want fucking rights? Ask the people in Wisconsin who been stripped of there worker's rights how it feels to be free. 

Then I see the women parading and celebrating and shit. I'm thinking what the fuck. What you females think, you could walk into Macys or wherever the fuck you terrorists buy clothes and wear whatever you want? Ask Lara Logan what happened to her once Egypt became "free." She's doing her fucking job, earning money like everyone else and has to put up with bullshit because some motherfuckers just got "free." Niggas walking around acting like they just won the lottery. All this motherfucking means is the next motherfucker that walks in, could tax you more and then you're forced to watch shit like Jersey Shore, Nancy Grace and Glenn Beck. That's what y'all motherfuckers are protesting for, the right to watch motherfucking Glenn Beck. The right way to go through with this revolution, tell your Arab presidents to calm the fuck down, like that crazy dude in Libya. If I were y'all Id march into his office and tell him "Listen you Iron Shiek looking motherfucker, you can take your loot, you can be as corrupt as you want, but give us a few more dollars and stop killing innocent folks or I'll blow your fucking brains into pieces. Have a nice day." That's what y'all should be doing, you should be thankful y'all have jobs and education and health care, instead your protesting for your right to watch Snooki on Thursday nights. 

But nah we have it easy we're "free." So free that a day before the G20 summit in Toronto, the government passed some made up law which gave the right to arrest you for refusing a search or refusing to identify yourself. We're so motherfucking free that after 4 years of basic ass college in the United States, without a dorm you're looking at 150k in debt. Ya happy 22nd b-day, you owe the University of Witcha fucking State 150k, that's without a dorm. You want a dorm and food and books, 200k, Merry Christmas. You're enslaved by debt at the age of 22 for the same undergrad shit you could have earned at the University of Cairo for the price of nothing but you're free. But you know what really pisses me off, it's not the banks giving uneducated people $400k loans when they make 22k a year and then taking all their shit. BYU makes me mad. A Kid was kicked off the basketball team, probably lost his scholarship and you want to know why. He was banging his girlfriend. I don't care if the Church of Scientology says you can't have sex, he banged his fucking girlfriend and lost the opportunity at playing for the Cougars. He didn't steal a car, he didn't even sell bootleg dvds, he fucked his hot girlfriend. It gets worse. Read this: BYU's honor code also requires students to be honest; abstain from alcoholic beverages, tobacco, tea, coffee and substance abuse; and attend church regularly.

That isn't a motherfucking exaggeration, you could get kicked out of school, they can take your 50k a year that you pay them and tell you to fuck off for drinking tea and coffee and lying. But we're free and North America is the greatest place on earth. Democracy doesn't work. It's a myth. Realpolitik worked. (if you don't know what it means, look it up)  We've been injected with fear and threatened with torture til all we're left with is a state of appeasement. The War on Terror, Weapons of Mass Destruction, the threat of nuclear arms, domestic terrorism, we're being fed this bullshit over and over and what does it make us do? Become Pussies. Become fucking faggots where we live in a world where the government could miraculously make up laws on the spot, they could kick you out of school for drinking tea and coffee because it's against the Church of the Latter Day Saints/Mormonism and they can strip you of your workers rights. I'm so glad I get to watch 24/7 coverage on Justin Bieber and his Mexican girlfriend because they're are countries who don't get this privilege. It feels good to be free, just ask this guy: Freedom is Great.