Things I Admire About White People

I can no longer watch sports that I have big money on, in its entirety. I could watch a bit but then I start sweating and my heart starts to race so I watch nonsense. Today I was watching Teen Mom and even though it is the gayest show on television, it made me realize why I fuck with most of y'all white people. Here's a list of things I like about the white race:

The Bed Sheets- White people sleep with a regular ass sheet, then a blanket over the regular ass sheet. Blacks are lucky if they got any sheets at all and some of y'all ghetto ass fucks sleep on a mattress with nothing on it. But the white folks had the right idea, those 2 sheets make a big ass difference, it's on some warm and cold scientific shit I can't explain. The sheet and the blanket works and it just makes the night so much better, hotels endorse this idea and it feels fuckin great. 

Brand Names- White people don't fuck with the discounted juice, cookies or chips. They don't fuck with the no-name anything. They buy coke that is fucking made by Coca-Cola, none of that "Equality" or "President's Choice" bullshit. White people buy real chocolate chip cookies, not the shit I get at Giant Tiger. Their bottled water is flavored and they don't get the bootleg chips. They get the chips that are so fucking expensive they got the grooves in em, I think they're called Ruffles. Ya us blacks save a few dollars but you aren't living right until everything in your house is the name brand shit and not the discount crap at the end of the isle. 

The Fact That You Have a Good Chance At Hooking Up With Her Mom- Black women don't cheat as much because of the financial ramifications. But white people cheat all the fucking time. They know if they cheat a few dozen times it won't really matter because they're forgiving ass people. It makes a difference. If you're dating a black chick you have a 0.000000% chance of ever smashing her moms and if you even try then the relationship is over. When dating a white chick you stand a 10% chance at smashing her moms and if you try, she likes you even more and will add you as a friend on facebook. Then you could wank to pics of her in a bikini on family vacations because white women wear whatever the fuck they want to wear.

You Never Have to Ask- When dealing with an ethnic ass chick or whatever the fuck you want to call them, you have to ask before they swallow. If they say no then you have to play the "reassuring ass role" where you make her feel like she's the one for you, then she'll swallow. But white people love that nasty shit. They love to swallow and once she's performing the act, it's already assumed that she'll swallow and therefore you skip the entire process of asking, begging, the awkward pause and the chances of her breaking up with you decreases. 

They Don't Know Shit- Despite being highly educated and hot, white people really don`t know shit. Black people have more common-sense and street smarts. White people are naive to the world and live in a bubble. What does this mean? You tell a black chick that a Comet is coming and you need $1000 to stock up on supplies and she'll kick your ass to the curb. You tell a white person that a Comet is coming and you need $1000 she'll say "oh my God I read about this before, here have $2000." Of course you're going to go spend it on hookers and blow and when she asks about the Comet all you need to tell her is " the trajectory changed and the comet isn't coming so you treated yourself to a mini-vacation and everything is safe."  She won`t even know what trajectory is and will just put her hand on her heart and say "thankfully we're safe, I was so worried." White people got money so they don't care, they're just happy that you're happy and they believe just about anything cause they live in a bubble where they grew up watching the Andy Griffith show, Leave it to Beaver, and The Wonder Years and they think the world is perfect.

Recapping the night: 

Play of the Day:
Knicks +5 -110 (W)
USF/Cincy over 120 -110 (W)

NBA:

Utah Jazz -1 -110 (W)
OKC + 1.5 -110 (W)
Pacers -1 -105 (L)
Spurs/Pistons over 202 -110 (W)

NCAA:

U Conn -1.5 -110 (W)
UConn/Georgetown over 130 -110 (W)
Nebraska -4 -110 (L)
Rutgers/ St Johns over 129 -110 (L)
Hawaii -1.5 -110 (L)
Oregon -1 -110 (W)
West Virginia -1.5 -110 (L)

Contact Info: Moneyhungry45@hotmail.com

May the winners be ours. Taking over the world one step at a time. In case you haven't gotten the memo my name is Julius James and I'm the fucking shit.