Just Another Day

I'm starting to think that if Charlie Sheen saw my life he'd be like "wow, this shit is insane." For the month of February things were out of control every time I partied. I almost always passed out, I almost always was either in a fight or starting one. I did far too much drugs and in general I spent most days just trying to recover from the dumb shit I was doing on the weekend. So I said March is going to be different, I'm going to stay inside, won't go drinking, won't go doing drugs, won't party, I'll order take-out and watch tv and talk to fine white women. That's exactly what I did on Friday night, deep down I wanted to join my friends at the Opera house for the Joe Budden/Tribe Called Quest concert but the way I been acting I figured I'd get shot or out of control so I stayed inside and jacked off. I hit my bed around 1:30am, completely sober, happy cause I wasn't wasted and knew I wasn't going to have to deal with a hangover. I'm thinking to myself "yes, tonight will be normal, I survived." 

At around 2:30am I hear a gun shot and I immediately rolled off the bed, face down on the floor. I got crazy instincts and I'm a light/sensitive sleeper so I hear a gun shot and I get the fuck on the floor. I hear about 6 more and I'm thinking to myself, I either pissed one of y'all off with my racist language or the boyfriend of one of my blog readers found out that his girl is a heaux. The gun shots stopped and I realized nothing was broken so I figure I'm dreaming (I sleepwalk and shit on occasion). I tell myself I'm tripping out and I get back in the bed and fall asleep. About 10 minutes later both the house phone and my cell phone start going off. I wake up and look outside and there are 8 cruisers. You know how sometimes you wake up all disoriented and stupid, I still didn't think about the gun shots so I'm thinking fuck these feds are after me or some shit. My brother called (he was sleeping over at a neighbour's) and asked if I was okay. I'm like yea why. He said "there was a drive-by shooting outside our house." 

I'm like "what the fuck" I look outside and there is caution tape and feds everywhere. Now it makes sense. Shell casings, broken glass, cops, caution tape, all that shit all over my house. I'm thinking "great what a perfectly normal weekend." So the feds knocked on my door 3x and they asked me if I'd co-operate. I grew up in the hood, unless you try to kill me, you're a pedophile, or a rapist, or that domestic abuse shit, I ain't saying shit. So the cop tells me what he knows and I know what's going on, I could piece things together but I ain't saying shit. Then he shakes his head and says "the victim isn't co-operating either." So then WHAT THE FUCK are you harassing me for? If the nigga who got shot at don't want y'all to help him, why the fuck are you investigating. Go to Tim Hortons, order that large double-double and Boston Cream donut and leave me the fuck alone. Nah these dudes were asking me questions and "investigating" in a motherfucking hailstorm all day. I'd post the news story to verify this story but I don't want y'all freaks knowing where i live lol. Just another great day in my life. Peace.