Why Do People Have Kids?

I'm sitting here wondering why the hell do people decide to have kids? Who would willingly welcome kids into their lives? After they turn 3 they really aren't cute anymore, whats the point of having one. All fucking day these assholes rang my doorbell. I could understand a little cute kid coming up wanting candy and shit but these were all teenagers. Are people that broke these days? I told this motherfucker, calculate what's in your bag and I bet you I could get you that shit at Walmart tomorrow for $4. Your ass went walking miles for that shit and you were too stupid enough to know that tomorrow, candy goes on sale and  for a tenner you could be set til Chirstmas. The kid looked at me with a blank stare.

Hell I'll even blame myself, I'm wondering why my parents banged somewhere between May 17th-25th 1988 according to a conception calculator (the internet is great). I hope I'm an accident because if not they're dumb as shit. Take for example last night, I come home wasted around 4am and I wake up around 8:30 in soak-pissed boxers and covered in my own puke. However, I'm slick so I cleaned everything up without them knowing but shit I'm a grown ass man and I wet the new $800 bed they bought for me. Every Saturday I come through the door and I could barely stand, is this what they wanted when they decided to have kids? Give or take the average parent spends 180k for a kid. Ain't none of us worth that shit. I'm not Bill fucking Gates or Warren Buffet, I'll be working some shitty office job for the rest of my life. Why the fuck would anyone spend $180k and what's the return? Occasional happiness and maybe your kid will take care of you when you can't wipe your own ass. At the right price I can find an Asian stripper that would fulfill both those needs and adding up the years she'd be a lot cheaper as well.

However what really made me think about this topic was an argument that took place today. My brother, who is 15 is getting yelled at because he came home at 1am this morning (from his friend's house) because he claims no one was home. So my parents are giving him shit because the dude got his own key. So they're telling him, regardless of whose home get your ass in at 10:30 because you're a kid. This negro is crying saying " how come everyone in the house is having fun and I have to be home at 10:30, this isn't fair to me." It's now 11:34pm and they've been arguing about this for 2 hours now. That's his fucking argument, everyone is having fun so he should either be entertained or be allowed to do what he wants until someone is home. What the fuck. I'd tell him " Listen you ass licking dick sucking son of a bitch, I work a 9-5, I pay the bills, and I take care of your ass, you either get your ass in when I tell you to get your ass in or get the fuck out and I hope you get raped by a pack of niggers (Mel Gibson style). Yet these people are trying to reason for him. Worst of all, they're paying $180k for this privilege. 

Recapping the Night: Wade Phillips ain't got shit on me when it comes to fucking up. I start the day down 9 bills. I had $600 on the Pats, I add another dime. $1600 on a game and it boils down to a 3rd and 12 with 5 minutes left. I'm thinking this is it, Lord Gamblor has the gun and I'm as good as dead. Then that midget Danny Woodhead gets 16 yards. Unbelievable I haven't sweat out a game like that in ages. What's worse is I had half a mind to lay down a dime on the Steelers game and had I lost that I would have been done for good. Yet I'm sitting here with an account balance of $3622.68 and I live to tell another day. Something's gotta give though the NFL has broken me into pieces, I'm going to lose it all one of these days. I'm far too erratic on something so damn unpredictable. 

Early Games:
$300 Denver +2.5 -110 (L)
$300 Miami Dolphins money line -105= Return of $585.71 (W)
$300 Bills/Chiefs over 46.5 -110 (L)
$1000 Pats -5.5 -110= Return of $1909.09 (W)
$200 over 45 Saints/Steelers -110 (L)
Scott's Pick:
$300 Jets/Packers over 41.5 -110 (L)
Play of the Day:
$600 Pats -5.5 -110= Return of $1145.45 (W)
Total Wagered: $3000
Total Returned: $3640.25
Total Profit: $640.25
Total Earned to Date: $3622.68

Contact Info: BustaBusta_2001@yahoo.com

May the winners be ours. Taking over the world one step at a time. In case you haven't gotten the memo my name is Julius James and I'm the fucking shit.