The Weekend That Was

A lot of people have been asking about the weekend so here it is. We got there a bit early so we hit a bar in Parma Ohio. It's a real hole with only 2 taps, Blue or Hoegaarden. Went straight for the Hoegaarden and at $3.50 a pint I downed about 6. Time to go shopping at the Parmatown mall at about 10am. We enter the mall and the first thing I seen is Santa and there is no line. Me, being the drunken cunt I am decide that I want to sit on Santa's lap and wish for heroin and strippers. The fucking elves or whoever the fuck you call those people were denying me the chance. So now I'm starting a scene demanding to see Santa and all of a sudden about 4 mall cops jump me and start laying the beat-down. I used to think mall cops were fake but fuck these dudes had badges, handcuffs, the fucking works. I was cuffed and thrown out, they took my info and told me not to come back for 26 months because it's on file and I'll be charged with trespassing if I dare come back. That was that.

We go to Walmart, pick up 2 cases of beer which came up to $36 and hit the hotel. Got more wasted and watched some college football. Met a few "blog fans" I'll leave those details out and let's fast forward to the Cavs/Pacers game. I had been steadily drinking and been doing some drugs all day. We get to the game and I must say I'm surprised at the attendance. Shit was damn near packed, our seats were in the 4th row, level 300 but of course we moved down 5 minutes in. So the Cavs have a promotion where if they hold their opponents to 85 or under or score over 100 everyone gets a free Taco-Bell Chalupa. At halftime I think they had 56 points. They scored 12 fucking points in the 3rd quarter and were scoreless in the first 4 minutes of the 4th. Nah, I'm too drunk/high to put up with that. I go to the usher and basically demand he give me a coupon for a free Chalupa because this shit is fixed. He tried to laugh til he saw that I was being serious. He calls over arena security who once again are all these motherfucking "Deputies." They tell me to sit down or they'll throw me out. I demand my Chalupa. As they are throwing me out I tell them I'm a research student at Cleveland State and my thesis involves different vaginal scents. I told those fuckers they all have strong ones and should get it checked out. I got a kick to the nuts.

The night was followed with more drinking, drugs and women. Shout out to the Crazy Horse, they had no dancers over 21. I get in around 6am, shower and head straight to the breakfast tailgate. Oh, before I went to the Tailgate I figured now would be a good time to start eating/drinking healthy so I went to Dunkin Donuts and bought a Vanilla Chai. Tailgate, the game it was all nuts and I can't describe it with words. The crowd was deafening, we stood the entire time. Mark Sanchez aka Go Diego Go is underrated, the dude could dodge a sack like a black dude dodges his child. He's the reason they won. Colt McCoy surprised me as well, made a few rookie mistakes and doesn't have many good receivers but he played one hell of a solid game. At the border back I told the dumbass I was with we can't go to Duty Free because we haven't been in the States for 48 hours. He insisted on getting a bottle of Grey Goose. Of course, customs made him pay taxes and we had to wait in line for 50 minutes. Fitting way to end the trip, until next year, I love the 216.

Recapping the Night: 

Play of the Day:

$1000 Eagles -3 -125= Return of $1800 (W)

NBA:

$300 Orlando/Memphis over 200.5 -110 (L)

$400 Nuggets -105 (L)

$400 Jazz/OKC over 205 -110= Return of $763.64 (W)

NFL:

$400 Eagles/Skins over 42.5 -110=Return of $763.64 (W)

Total Wagered: $2500

Total Returned: $3327.28

Total Profit: $827.28

Total Earned to Date: $6568.40

Contact Info: BustaBusta_2001@yahoo.com

May the winners be ours. Taking over the world one step at a time. In case you haven't gotten the memo my name is Julius James and I'm the fucking shit.