The Whole Downtown Experience

During the weekends I usually stay in the east-end of the city or I travel to uptown and go wild. However, my Mexican boy said he wanted to chill and we decided that we should hit the douchebag student hang-outs downtown in an effort to get pissed drunk and hopefully get laid. About 5 minutes into this journey we both echoed the same thing "I rather pay for it" so there went any hope of getting laid but at least we were going to get smashed. After spending a Saturday night downtown I could honestly say that the stereotypes are true. The bum fights, the drunken attitude and the piss poor ugly girls were all accurate.

The one good thing about this night is that it only cost me $20. Getting pissed drunk for $20 is a deal but you figure hanging out with a Mexican for 6 hours would get you some sort of benefit. We dined and dashed, got free drinks. Truthfully, I have some morality with that sort of thing. However when the tab comes and the waitress still hasn't come back 20 minutes later to get the loot, clearly they don't want our money. The most shocking thing about this night was that most of the girls were fucking ugly. Here in Scarborough we'll drink, get drunk and go home with a girl who probably looks like Ellen Degeneres but after all the booze she looks like Jessica Alba. Downtown is different, there are plenty females who resemble barn-yard animals. The Mexican and I (who both self-admittedly would hit anything) were often looking at girls thinking "come on she's too ugly to be true." The girls are out in full force but when they look like the Michelin Man it's kind of hard to get laid.

Fuck the strip clubs as well. It throws me off when I walk into the club and see a girl I knew from highschool so that was always going to be a wash but those girls were nothing. I could find hot hoes around here that would fuck for a packet of Sticky Notes, a 1-inch 3-ringed binder and other various school supplies. The girls dancing in the strip club looked like Snooki and moved like Barbara Walters. The real party was happening outside the strip club where a 176 year old homeless man was fighting a 20 year old black crackhead. Finally, it's 4am and I find myself pissing in various spots that could have me arrested so it's time to go home. It's Toronto so the dickheaded subway doesn't run and therefore it's time to ride the vomit comet, a bus that rides all through Yonge St. back to uptown. I had never been on this bus before but clearly the name depicts its notorious reputation. After riding the vomit comet I could honestly say I feel the "cruise ships" my ancestors went on from Ghana to Trinidad back in the day to pick cotton were probably more enjoyable. Everyone on this bus smells, is a schizo and probably has never gotten laid. The bus just wreaked of urine, puke and people who think AXE is a substitute for a shower. Fuck downtown, I'm staying in the hood from now on.

Recapping the night: I'm clearly the definition of streaky.
NFL:

$300 Dolphins -3 -115= Return of $560.87 (W) 
$200 Falcons -1.5 -110 (L)
$300 Bucs -3 -105= Return of $300 (Push)
$200 Eagles m/l +125 (L)
$300 49ers -3 -105 (L)
$400 Cowboys -3 -125 (L) 
$300 Titans -6 -115= Return of $560.87 (W)
Play of the Day:
$600 Colts -1 -115 (L)
Total Wagered: $2600
Total Returned: $1421.74
Total Loss: $1178.26
Total Earned to Date: $2847.64
 
Contact Info: BustaBusta_2001@yahoo.com
 
May the winners be ours. Taking over the world one step at a time. Incase you haven't gotten the memo my name is Julius James and I'm the fucking shit.