I've worked 3 jobs in my life. I started off as a landscaper where I basically did some sodding and snow removal for these German-Jewish people. I made $15/hour and took shit from white people who hated my black ass. I then went on to be stadium security/usher at BMO Field where I made $12.75/hour and had to put up with drunken Mexicans and guys who use fake British accents to justify why they are hooligans. Then I worked maintenance at a Nursing home where i fixed light bulbs, installed patio furniture and took shit from old people who suffered from Alzheimer. I made 22.50/hour and once again hated my life. See I then realized this blue collared shit wasn't for me. In order for me to make any money and be happy I rather sit in an office and play Mafia Wars on facebook.
Let's rewind to last weekend. It's my boy's 23rd b-day party and we're celebrating at the regular spot. It's now 2am and the place is about to close but I'm about 8 pints and a gin and tonic in. I hear someone say they want wings so I go up to the bartender and inquire if the kitchen is still open. That's how I remember it, I told him to forget it but he didn't hear me. 15 minutes later, a waitress comes with a plate of wings. See this bitch has been fucking up all night, she doesn't know math, she's slow and she's annoying, although she has an ass. She comes to the room and says who ordered these. I deny (at this point I'm blacking out, and the entire room denies ordering it). My boy says to me, "hey didn't you order it" and I'm thinking shit I don't even remember but it's like $10 bucks why the fuck not, so I say sure it's me. That's when things got ugly. The waitress says "SO WHY WOULD YOU SAY IT WASN"T" and keeps going on and on. Whoa, this hoe ass slut yelled at me. At this point all I'm thinking about is giving her the Chris Brown treatment but hey I don't get down like that. I bite my tongue, pay for it (without tip) and we enjoy the rest of the night. However I have to address something. While I'm not good at figuring out my own life I am good at figuring out others, this last paragraph is for the waitress:
Sweetie I hope you're reading this. The reason you make $4.40 an hour + tips is because your a hoe ass bitch that doesn't know anything. Your only 22 years old, if that, and I'm sure you've had your hole driven into more times than the collective rescue effort for the Chilean miners. Your mother was probably a slut and your father received it in the end-zone more times than Jerry Rice and Randy Moss combined. You don't have a high-school education or a GED because you were too busy sucking off the offensive linemen for your high school varsity team, in which you'd receive bus tokens but you'd always walk home. You'll spend the rest of your life having kids with 40-year old black dudes who wear du-rags to job interviews and won't give you a cent because "the economy is shitty." You'll continue making $4.40 an hour til one day you become a manager that makes a whopping $11/hour plus benefits and vacation. At this point you'll have the desire to travel now that you could live the luxurious life you've always dreamed of so seeing as how you would make such a good parent you'll bundle all the kids up and tell them they're going on vacation. You take them on a family cruise to Centre Island. By the time you're 40 you'll be so depressed, you'll have already experienced numerous poltergeists. (If you don't know what a poltergeist is click here ). Clearly your life is perfect that you feel the need to yell at dudes who pay your salary and the inevitable meth. addiction but please keep your voice down in the future. Thanks.
Recapping the Night: No comment.
Baseball:$300 Jays/Mariners over 8.5 -120 (L)
$200 Yankees/Rays over 9.5 -110= Return of $381.82 (W)
$200 Marlins -110= Return of $381.82 (W)
$200 Astros -105 (L)
$300 Rangers -110 (L)
Baseball Props:
$300 over 129 total runs -110 (L)
$400 Home -4 -110= Return of $763.64 (W)
Play of the day:
$500 Cards -140 (L)
Total Wagered: $2400
Total Returned:$1527.28
Total Loss: $872.72
Total Earned to Date: $1131.43
Contact Info: BustaBusta_2001@yahoo.com
1 comment:
BOTSWANA GAZETTE AHAHAHAHAHA
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