Can't I Just Enjoy Life?

A few years ago I stepped into the doctor's office and he told me I had high blood pressure and high cholesterol and I need to drop some weight. I said to myself, it's probably been years since I had a fruit or vegetable and I haven't been treating my body good. I dropped 25lbs went back to the doctor and the cholesterol lowered and I was fine. The blood pressure stayed high but I never really gave a fuck about that. The other day I'm watching Dr. OZ ( a talk show about health) and this fucking motherfucker is pounding wood with an axe saying " THIS IS HAPPENING TO YOUR HEART" as he was talking about high blood pressure. I said damn negro chill and I got my ass to the doctor.

Now, the doctor is telling me it may not be the food but just my body that is causing all the health problems. After spending a minute digesting this info I've come to the conclusion i'm just filled with fucking bad luck. For the past 2 years I've probably had 1 fucking Whopper. I no longer eat burgers, I fucking eat tendergrill sandwiches that taste like ass. I run 56mins a day (5 miles) burning 800 cals. I no longer eat BBQ Rib Patties at Subway and I've traded that in for Veggie delight. In the past 2 years I haven't had one fucking fried chicken leg, one milk shake, or any sodas (except coke zeros). The worse thing that goes in my body besides alcohol is the occasional nachos and fries. I drink heavy on the weekends and that will never change. I fucking did a 180 to find out despite being healthy it really didn't do shit for me because I might have been born this way. What the fuck?

Do you know how fucking hard it is for me to resist Popeyes when I pass by it 4x a week. I live within walking distance of: Wendys, Tim Hortons, Burger King, KFC, Taco Bell, Harveys, Pizza Nova, Pizza Hut,Subway, Country Style, and Dairy Queen. For the past two years everytime I enter these places all I get is the fucking expensive overated salad. I eat 2 tablespoons of Hummus every day. I want a fucking Sausage Breakfast Sandwich from Tim Hortons. I'm tired of the fucking salmon, baby spinach, portion control, hummus and everything else that is apparently healthy for me because it doesn't do shit for me. Now I have to get ultrasounds and blood tests and urine analysis. Which means everytime I piss for the next 24 hour it goes into a jug. Tomorrow I have to be up at 7:30am and drive around the city doing various tests which includes some dude rubbing lube on my stomach and making weird grunt noises. On Monday I'll get back on the diet shit but I swear, as soon as these tests are completed I'm hitting every fast-food joint from here to Madagascar and I'm going to eat whatever the fuck I want because in this life you're doomed if you do and you're doomed if you don't. Fuck you tendergrill sandwiches, hummus, fruits, and shitty ass Southwest salads. Whoppers are my only love.

Recapping the Night:
Basketball:
$200 Spain -6.5 -110 (L)
$200 Turkey -7.5 -110= Return of $381.82 (W)
Baseball:
$200 Mets +100= Return of $400 (W)
$100 Astros +120= Return of $220 (W)
$300 Reds +110 (L)
$300 Giants +120 (L)
$200 Tigers +120= Return of $440 (W)
Play of the Day:
$500 Dodgers -105 (L)
Total Wagered: $2000
Total Returned: $1441.82
Total Loss: $558.18
Total Earned to Date: $2531.25

Contact Info: BustaBusta_2001@yahoo.com

May the winners be ours. Taking over the world one step at a time. Incase you haven't gotten the memo my name is Julius James and I'm the fucking shit.