I've had enough of my wife, I've had enough of my three kids and I've realized it's time to take matters into my own hands. My name is too long, too complicated to pronounce so just call me KDOT. I work at a job I hate, my ex-wife is a skinny Polish girl who along with her family, is crazy. My three kids, who don't love me and can't pronounce my name will probably all grow up to be Carnies and I look like Artie Lange. I'm tired of the skinny girls so I want one that is chubby, legal, and willing to have her prostate fondled on a weekly basis (I swear it's the only weird thing in my life, I'm obsessed with giving prostate massages) A little bit about me: 290lbs, 6'5, born in a place too irrelevant to mention though it's located somewhere in Serbia. I work at a terrible job and live a terrible life. I like to compensate for these crazy unfortunate events by training at a MMA gym. (I'm fairly aggressive but I promise I will never hit a woman but I will throw things and yell) I have my own crew which consists of Cheeba (he's trying to cement his legacy on life by breaking a record for using public shittters). Super ( a middle-aged degenerate dude who has worked in the porn industry for most of his life, I'll let you figure it out.) And Pinoy Boy (my Filipino co-worker who happens to be heavily addicted to meth and probably won't make it past 2010 so I'll just say RIP Pinoy Boy right now)
Basically I need a chubby girl to take care of my needs. My needs include coming with me to country music shows, dancing the Waltz and of course me playing with your prostate. I would also like you at one point or another to bang the rest of the crew (not all at once because we ain't gay). It's going to be a fun experience, you could trust me on that. I'm from a region of Europe that is always angry therefore don't expect me to ever smile or give you a compliment because all I see is anger and hatred. If Mother Teresa was next to me I'd punch her in the face (well I wouldn't because like I said, I don't hit women) If you want a realist, big, angry, degenerate with no hope of living a good clean life then please respond to this. If you want Mr. Right who comes with a high paying job, abs and buys his clothes from actual stores and not trailors with wheels or the back of vans, then go fuck yourself.
PS: I can assure you I'm 100% real and this posting is 100% valud, I'm not looking for the ideal chick, I just want a chick who loves honesty with a side of hate.
Recapping the Night:
Basketball:
$200 Brazil -2.5 -110 (L)
$200 China +15.5 -110= Return of $381.82 (W)
MLB:
$200 Astros +126= Return of $452 (W)
$300 Cards +106 (L)
$300 Rays/Sox over 8.5 -115= Return of $560.87 (W)
$300 Angels -120 (L)
Soccer:
$100 Isreal +140 (L)
$500 England -110= Return of $954.55 (W)
Play of the Day:
$600 SF Giants -115= Return of $1121.24(W)
Total Wagered: $2700
Total Returned: $3470.48
Total Profit: $770.48
Total Earned to Date: $3089.43
Contact Info: BustaBusta_2001@yahoo.com
May the winners be ours. Taking over the world one step at a time. Incase you haven't gotten the memo my name is Julius James and I'm the fucking shit.
2 comments:
4 email responses to the ad this morning including:
"I'm trying to find a guy who doesn't run screaming into the night at the mere THOUGHT of "the next step" I'm a career woman who enjoys spinning to stay in shape. I'll tell you all about myself once I hear from you. I have photos to share once you send yours."
"So I am going to have some fun this weekend and I'd like you to come along. I read your ad on craigslist and I know you'd be terrific to invite along. Just msg me back and let me know ur real. later"
"I love watching movies, thinking about them and debating them with others. Two of my favorites are Slumdog Millionaire and The Curious Case of Benjamin Button I'm cheerful and upbeat. I like men who are polite, so men who show no gallentry would annoy me and we wouldn't get along well. Tell me something I would love to learn about you and why we should meet. "
"i'm clear and std totally free. i like tatoos and am very fond of older guys 60 . you supply a location to perform, for example rent a space. "
so those four broads ignored the fact that he's asking for a prostate to tickle, that they'll likely never have unless they were previously a dude.
dummies.
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