That's exactly how I look right now. Fucking went to the pub with my cousin and some dude won 20 grand in the lottery. He told me if I could down 8 shots of Jager in 3 minutes he'll give me $100, if I can't then I gotta pay for them. I smashed 6 of them, those last 2 were hell but I got them down, no puking.
I feel like shit though who the fuck gets smashed at 4pm anymore, worst feeling in the world. The funny shit is, my cousin and I decided to settle some issues with some folks seeing as how we were wasted and everything was fine until death threats started being rolled out. Ain't shit get solved lmao.
I'd like to thank the person who introduced me to a fine ass chick, then like 2 weeks later I find out she's born in 1994. Today I'm like: " So you were like 6 months when Life After Death came out." She's like " What's Life After Death?" B.I.G.'s fucking CD. Then she proceeded to tell me how Britney Spears' debut album was better. I swear on my fucking life that's how the conversation went. Nigga please. My brother was born in 1995 and he a faggot, I ain't trying to go to jail. You know your life is shit when you have to count the months to figure out if she's the age of consent or not. This is what my life has become, aw well fuck it I'm going to do like my boy " sometimes I get boners to Rebecca Black, it isn't my fault, it's society's." LMAO
I pissed off my friend's girl today too. She was cold so I gave her my hoody and she finds $5 in it. So she told me but I said send it when you pass me back my hoody. So she asks if she could have the hoody for the night because it got cold and I'm like sure just send me the $5 back. In her eyes she feels that I felt she was going to take the $5. When in fact, I WAS FUCKING HAMMERED AND WANTED A FUCKING $4.99 MEDIUM PEPPERONI PIZZA FROM PIZZA-PIZZA. FOR FUCK SAKES YOU'RE AMATEUR. See the shit I have to put up with on a daily basis. No heaux, I didn't think you'd take the 5, I just wanted the bill because I didn't have money on me and I wanted a motherfucking pizza.
As I'm typing this blog it just gets worse. My friend sent me a picture of her and Shannon. I don't know who Shannon is and I can't open up the picture because I received it on my phone and I don't got data and shit. So I text her " Shannon better be hot." WHO FUCKING KNEW SHANNON WOULD BE 12 years old. Y'all have to warn me with shit like that smh.
I just had a brilliant idea. I want to go to Dubai, not for the girl actually but the shit that girl shows me in Dubai I'm fucking missing out. But I'm a broke fuck so you know what I want to do. I want to get off the plane and go to them rich ass hotels and be like " GIVE ME A SUPER 8 MOTEL NOWWWWWWWWW" fuck am I the only one who finds that funny as hell.
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