This all started in the morning, my boy hit me up asking me if I wrote Drake's new song. I don't listen to that faggot but I wanted to see what Drake said that was so similar to the shit I say. So I click on the song "Marvin's Room" for any of you faggots that want to know and there was that line I use so frequently. "I'm just saying, you could do better." Once this song got out, especially on twitter, men everywhere were scared shitless. We all used that line and chances are someone was going to use it on our queens. I know people who went out, bought flowers, stayed in and watched the Women's channel over the basketball game, shit like that, it's serious in Scarborough when you hear the words "I'm just saying, you could do better." Chances are someone is saying it to your Queen right now.
So it was impossible to see my Queen today but I thought I'd do something nice. She's always talking about the movie "A Walk to Remember" and I never heard about it but I thought today, before the game would be a good time to watch it with her. So I'm watching this shit with shorty and I'm just counting the fucking seconds til it's over. Shit is fucking terrible and I'm dying. I'm literally counting each second til the bar hits the 1:41:36 mark. However, a motherfucking hour into the movie shit starts to get real. Mandy Moore gets leukemia and shit is going down. Now I'm fucking hooked on this faggot shit wondering what happenes next. But I was 39 minutes late for something and I had to bounce, I told her to pause it and I'll be back later so we could watch it. I go and do the shit I had to do, then I motherfucking run my black ass to Subway, pick up a 12 inch chicken teriyaki and I run my ass home. All in all it took about 50 minutes so I'm waiting for her to hit me up so we could watch the end because I'm real interested. One hour passes, then another, then another, then another.
I'm DYING to click the link and just watch the last 25 minutes or so but I can't, it would be too high on the levels of faggotry. Finally I decide to take the loss and go out to get some peanuts from the Bodega because I was starving. I come back and see a message "I'm going to sleep, take care." Guess what niggas, I clicked the motherfucking link. A nigga sat there and pressed play and watched Mandy Moore die of leukemia after getting married to the dude. Now, I ain't going to lie it was gay and all but shit was sad as hell. She just died after dude married her and he is going to med school and has to carry that burden for the rest of his life. Similarly to me, I got to live with myself knowing I clicked play on such a gay movie. Watched the ending by myself, all sad and shit. Yea, clearly I need a new Queen. You should know the drill by now but here's what I need for a new bird:
1) Must be white, I ain't making no exceptions unless you got 7 figures in your savings account.
2) Today a girl told me she spends $300 on highlights and a fucking haircut. Nigga, I could cut my Queen's hair and shit. My Queen better recognize that if she spends $300 on a haircut, I'm showing her the door, I don't care if she's a millionare. I've stretched $300 in NYC + LA + ever since I got back. No one is spending $300 on their hair unless it comes with a stripper who blows me while she cuts your hair.
3) The old Queen used to cum and keep going, that's an asset but not required.
4) Must earn more than me. I don't give a fuck if this is wrong and I could find love in the Welfare line, the one for me is one who earns more than me, or she comes from a rich family. Economic dependence means the world to me, though I won't abuse it.
5) Threesome friendly, an asset though not required, and if she says fine "another man" she's going to end up like this bird and "fall" : http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6EfxoM50hlE&feature=related
6) She has to put up with drunk texting at least once a week, specifically the "I don't love you anymore" and the "I want to break up" messages she'll receive at 3am every Sunday, which are almost guaranteed.
7) She must know these lyrics, no exceptions: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4ITLNzPoEqs
8) Web cam is a must and a working webcam. Not going to tolerate: "I have a webcam but it's for MAC and I got Windows"
9) Must be willing to go during that time of the month once it's light. If you think this dick is going to take a week of inactivity just because you got a little blood you're not the one for me.
10) She has to sing this, like the old one did: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=CD2LRROpph0
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