Why Soccer Doesn't Succeed in North America

I've been asked numerous times to state my feelings on the MLS in a blog, here goes. One of the things that people try to force down my throat in this city is soccer. I love the EPL, I don't like the politics that come with it but I love the league. I'm reluctant to say I love the sport, with all the bullshit that surrounds it but I live and die, Manchester United and that's how it is always going to be. One thing I don't understand, despite riding the wagon for a few months is why the fuck is soccer even in North America. The video above gives us 4 words that describes soccer in Canada and the USA: It is motherfucking garbage. There once was a time you could goto the stadium for $17 bucks, sneak in a few waterbottles of vodka and get plastered out of your mind and call it a night. It was a great event for great value. Then, people started realizing that it's just complete trash. My 8 year old female cousin will never miss a shot like that on her primary school team but you have a grown ass man fucking up a ball like that.

The motherfucker is from Sierra Leone shouldn't he be fighting civil wars or something. There's enough soccer to the deep south of us or on the other side of the pond, we don't need it shoved down our throats here in USA/Canada. The fans consist of guys who crave some live action of the sport at a professional level, people who think they're British hooligans, and soccer-moms who want to take the family out for a nice all you can eat meal like they do in KC. This shit is fucking worthless. I destroyed far too much brain cells watching this Fisher Price league and I'm beyond ectastic that the honeymoon is now over.

Americans like basketball, football, baseball, and if you're in the deep south, Nascar. Canadians live for hockey, this soccer shit isn't going to work. I rather beat off on a Saturday afternoon to Halle Berry in Monster's Ball than go down and watch high-school level soccer with a bunch of homos that think it's fun throwing streamers and talk in fake British accents. I have it on good word that the referees have been told to call a lot of penalties because the league wants high-scoring games. It's the league where players go when they're ready to die.  Not sure the exact number but a few years ago the minimum contract was $12,500, why not work at a fucking bowling alley? Go TFC!

Recapping the Night: Adding a new section. P.O.D (play of the day). Started off bad and it ended that way however for one strange reason or another I think I'm finally going to hit some big winners on Saturday. Let's Get it.

MLB:

$200 Cleveland Indians +100 (L)
$200 New York Mets +140= Return of $480 (W)
$100 Rockies/Giants over 7 -120= Return of $100 (P)
$100 Royals/D-Rays over 9.5 +100 (L)
$100 Rangers/Seattle over 7 -120 (L)
$100 Jays/Rays over 9 +100= Return of $200 (W)
NBA:
$200 Denver Nuggets +6 -110 (L)
$200 Lakers/Thunder under 194 -110= Return of $381.82 (W)
$100 Hawks/Bucks over 190 -110 (L)
Hockey:
$100 Habs/Pens under 5.5 -105 (L)
Cricket:
$2000 West Indies -700= Return of $2285.17 (W)
Arena Football:
$100 Orlando -5 (L)
$100 Dallas -9= Return of $190.91 (W)
$100 Utah +13= Return of $190.91 (W)


Play of the Day: 0-1-0 (-4 units)
Cricket Sri Lanka vs New Zealand
$400 Sri Lanka -162 (L)

Total Wagered: $4100
Total Returned: $3828.81
Total Loss: $271.19
Total Earned to Date: $1967.10

May the winners be ours. Taking over the world one step at a time. Incase you haven't gotten the memo my name is Julius James and I'm the fucking shit.