24) A chick who knows more about sports than you: Her sex game is weak and she won't suck your dick.
23) The chick who watches the 6 o'clock news for the full hour: She'll believe everything people tell her.
22) A girl who spends hours reading: she has no social interaction skills and will be terrible in bed.
21) A chick who still watches American Idol: Bitch should have stopped that 5 years ago, she's a loser.
20) A girl who wants to spend all her vacation time in cottage country: Tell that bitch to stop being a honkey.
19) A chick who has a bulk pack of Canesten: Don't even bother hitting it just run faster than Usain Bolt.
18) A chick who has a bulk pack of Vagasil: she got an STD, enter at your own risk.
17) A bitch who enjoys Corner Gas: it's quite okay to punch her in the face, a rare exception.
16) The chick who listens to Black Eyed Peas: I don't even have to explain this one.
15) The girl who wants to tape what goes on in bed from the first time: She's done it before and chances are she'll compare with previous ones. If you ain't as good she's gonna cheat.
14) A Dutch Chick with kids from a previous relationship: You won't understand this one cause it's for a certain reader but still avoid them if you ever come across these hoes.
13) The girl who does all her shopping at Costco: eventually she's going to be a fat ass.
12) A chick who thinks marijuana shouldn't be legalized: tell her to eat your ass.
11) A girl that is willing to toss your salad on the first date: As good as it sounds, think about it...
10) The chick who says she wants to go back to school: She'll be using your money for that nonsense. Tell her to strip with her useless history degree.
9) A girl who sleeps for more than 10 hours daily: her life sucks and she's going to die soon
8) The girl who has more dudes numbers in her phone than females because she "doesn't get along with females": what she's trying to say is that she'll fuck anything with a dick.
7) A girl who still defends OJ: uhhh ya show that bitch the door and you'll probably need to show her how to open it as well.
6) A Jewish chick: she got all the money in the world but you'll never see a cent.
5) A girl who went to Everest College: ya those TBS commercials really show what an IVY league school Everest is.
4) A chick who likes daily bubble baths: She'll expect you to eat her out but you're never getting head.
3) A girl with 4+ brothers and no sisters: She's really a man.
2) A girl who thinks scrambled eggs are a luxury meal: Steal her pop tarts and get out of that relationship
1) The chick who is real close with her step-dad and he helps her out financially: He's fucking her.
Recapping the Night: Fuckin Ron Artest
MLB:
$100 Houston Astros +120 (L)
$200 LA Dogers +110 (L)
$100 Cincy Reds -1.5 +105= Return of $205 (W)
$100 Nationals/Giants over 8 -115= Return of $186.96 (W)
$100 Braves +100= Return of $200 (W)
$200 Phillies -120 (L)
$100 Tampa Bay Rays -1.5 +110= Return of $210 (W)
$100 Yankees/Twins under 9.5 -115 (L)
Basketball:
$100 Suns +300 (L)
$200 Suns/Lakers over 217.5 -115 (L)
Play of the Day:
$400 Suns +7.5 -105= Return of $780.95 (W)
Total Wagered: $1700
Total Returned: $1582.91
Total Loss: $117.09
Total Earned to Date: $6060.56
May the winners be ours. Taking over the world one step at a time. Incase you haven't gotten the memo my name is Julius James and I'm the fucking shit.
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