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Tuesday, May 4, 2010

100 Thungs I'd Change About The World Part 2

50) There would be no such thing as multiple charities. Only one charity per cause allowed.
49) 24 hour transit system everywhere so drunk dudes don't get behind the wheel
48) Only 10minutes of hockey talk allowed per channel on Canadian television, per day.
47) People residing in Boston and Liverpool would be paying higher taxes than everyone else but they'd be too dumb to know it
46) Before there is a cure for cancer I'd make sure cirrhosis of the liver get's cured first
45) Glenn Beck would be given a 150 year prison sentence for being a jackass
44) Nancy Grace would be in solitary confinement for the rest of her life
43) I'd make sure referees in the NBA stop calling pussy ass fouls
42) The NBA would be run by a black dude, not a white guy who has nearly ruined the league
41) Justin Bieber and his fans would be egged, often
40) Dog The Bounty Hunter would be given a 1 year prison sentence and his entire prison term would be televised
39) I'd appoint 50% of the world's dentists' to England immediately
38) Abortions would be legal, everywhere
37) There would be a Museum dedicated to Jack Tripper (John Ritter) for the legend that he was
36) Jehoviah Witnessess would not be allowed to known on anyone's door.
35) Krispe Kreme Donuts would still be around, everywhere
34) Dunkin Donuts would be more popular than shitty Tim Hortons
33) Black kids who wanted to play hockey from 16 and under would not have to pay a cent.
32) The WNBA would no longer exist
31) The speed limit for highways/free way would be 120km/hr
30) Chinese people have to re-take a driving test every 5 years
29) Baseball would have 8 teams per league in the playoffs
28) Hockey/NBA playoffs would be over in May, not mid June
27) Gabriel Morency would get his own channel
26) There would be no troops in Iraq/Afghanistan
25) Bottled watter would cost 50% less than whatever it costs now
24) There would be no such thing as frozen pizzas. That shit is too disgusting to sell.
23) MLS would no longer be around
22) All models would have to maintain a minimum weight of 105lbs regardless of height.
21) Taxi Fares would be reduced
20) Lap Dances would only cost $5 for a 3min. song
19) Car Insurance would change yearly ( If you didn't cause any shit in the last year you'll be paying less)
18) Casinos would be closer to the city and not in BumFuckAll, Nativeville
17) Detroit and Buffalo would be re-scaled and there would be farms everywhere
16) Disney would be forced to sell ESPN
15) Dancing with the Stars would no longer be on television
14) Prison Break would still be on television
13) No bike lanes, anywhere
12) Jaywalking would not be illegal. Use at your own risk
11) Toronto would be its own province
10) Infomercials would never be on the television
9) HBO would be free for everyone
8) Jonas Brothers and their fans would be egged, often
7) 5k to everyone that graduated highschool with a 70average or over
6) 10k to anyone who graduates University
5) WWE Divas would be wrestling, naked
4) The Office, Entourage, would have new episodes 40 weeks every year
3) Heroin would be re-named Janis Joplin
2) Gilligan's Island would still be on television similar to Coronation Street where it just keeps going on and on and on
1) I'd have the power to give out random breast exams at any time to anyone over the age of 14.

Recapping the Night: I managed to do well considering how terrible I started
Cricket:

$100 West Indies -110= Return of $190.91 (W)
MLB:
$100 Blue Jays +102= Return of $202 (W)
$100 Texas Rangers +116= Return of $216 (W)
$100 Rockies/Padres over 6.5 -115= Return of $186.86 (W)

$100 Phillies +112 (L)
$100 Phillies/Cards over 9 -125= Return of $100 (P)
$200 Yankees/Orioles over 9 -110 (L)
$100 Mets +135 (L)
$100 Royals/White Sox Under 9.5 +100= Return of $200 (W)
Basketball:
$100 Celtics +6.5= Return of $190.91 (W)
$100 Phoenix Suns -4= Return of $190.91 (W)
Hockey:
$100 Bruins -1.5 +210 (L)
Soccer:
$100 Wigan -138 (L)
$200 Arsenal +110 (L)
Play of the Day:
NBA: $300 Suns/Spurs over 203.5 -110= Return of $572.73 (W)

Total Wagered: $1900

Total Returned: $2050.32
Total Profit: $150.32
Total Earned to Date: $2466.81

May the winners be ours. Taking over the world one step at a time. Incase you haven't gotten the memo my name is Julius James and I'm the fucking shit.

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