Just a bunch of random shit I remember from this weekend:
- My girl and I are trying to work things out. But today after we got done talking she said she was going to shower because she didn't in 7 days, then said 4. So I'm thinking she joking and I say "I'd still hit it." Her response: trust me it stinks right now but I'm being honest. Niggas what the fuck. I'm going to assume she went camping or something in NJ, why the fuck you ain't shower tho when you get home. Ya I might stay single smh unless I get a logical explanation. People out here treating the box like shitty Burger King Poutines and shit.
-I need a motherfucking Aussie accent.
-I been learning the art to eating flowers. But I was so wasted on Saturday morning I randomly went in peoples gardens and started eating random shit. Throat started closing and shit, I gotta master this art.
-Stupid shoes, a motherfucking classic.
-If you sit by the pool with your legs inside, or any form of water and your ass aint getting in. and you not resting from getting in. You are a certified faggot. Get in or don't get in, that legs shit is for old ladies.
-Some chick grabbed my dick at the club, just straight grabbed it and was all over me. Who the fuck just grabs dick LMAO. I ain't bout that life tho so I ask homie, is she worth anything? If it's Elisha fuckin Cuthbert or something I'd entertain it. Response: "Nah" Good looking out, tit for tat after I found your bankcard haha.
-That girl went off on my boy for no reason. I called her a fucking Asian tranny whore, well deserved though.
-That gay ass "brawl" outside Tim Hortons was fucking stupid as fuck, these fucks born after 1992 acting like females more and more.
- I sent this too my good friend, fuck I'll have explaining to do in the morning, hands down the best drunk text I have ever sent. 4:06 in the morning and I'm dropping Little House on the Prairie references: "drunk again and u flashed acrossed my mind. ur like that girl from Michael Landon's show what's it called. hmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm lil house on the prarie, ur like his wife where everone was like damnnnnnnnnn she'd fuck good HAHHA"
-The guy I'll call "OV" is the shit, I don't know why he just is.
-Cockblockers are worse than Hitler, she ain't have to cut boy off like that hahaahaha
-Fuck I broke my no smoking rule and did like half a pack on Friday, glad I ain't got an addictive personality and actually hate that shit.
-If you have any sort of establishment where you play Spice Girls, you should be closed and bankrupt forever.
-Peru won.
-Peru won.
-RIP Revival after what we did when that Dead Prez song came on.
-RIP to my wallet after those $14 drinks.
-Someone in the entourage fucked a girl who may have had one two many Joe Louis' and Passion Flakies on Friday. I was drunk so I might be exaggerating but ya she could use a carrot or two. I can't slander this one like I normally would though. In the same situation he was in, with all the bullshit that went on a few weeks ago, I would have done the exact same thing LMAO. But ya some slander is necessary cause when I seen her the first thing that came to mind was "The Juggernaut." Yea I'm going to watch this now: Best Shit Ever. If I were you I'd pay her to say it while I was about to nut HAHA fuck I'm in tears. But ya I'd do the same thing, well done.
I'm out, Peace.
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