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Wednesday, July 13, 2011

Stop Selling Fucking Hope

Before I begin, I want to thank all my friends for kindly reminding me what Beats by Dre headphones are worth today, y'all ain't shit LMAO fuck y'all. I didn't even begin to tell you about her lesbian friend with a hint of bi whose perfectly good box I'll never get smh.

But enough of that shit. The other day someone sent me one of those chain/forward email things. You could call it cynicism, I call it realism but I disagreed with so much of that shit I had to add it. I read it over and over and some of it just sickened me. It's time to get angry again, where I am at my best. It's only my opinion though, make of it what you will. Below I'll paste the email and my response will be in green to every point that was made: 

Written by a 90 year old

This is something we should all read at least once a week!!!!! Make
sure you read to the end!!!!!!

Written by Regina Brett, 90 years old, of the Plain Dealer, Cleveland , Ohio .

"To celebrate growing older, I once wrote the 45 lessons life taught
me. It is the most requested column I've ever written.

My odometer rolled over to 90 in August, so here is the column once more:

1. Life isn't fair, but it's still good. (no it isn't fair and good in relation to what? 90 years old and you write like a dumbass two year old. Go tell a 19 year old soldier who can't use any of his limbs that life is good. And his girl just left him and is fucking a dude who works in a mall kiosk. and his fucking parents can't afford his medical bills. Tell that dude life is good, cocksucker)

2. When in doubt, just take the next small step. (What step, if you trust yourself and believe in yourself enough, you will never be in doubt. You'll make the right decision sometimes, you'll make the wrong decisions. Fuck small steps do whatever the fuck you want so long as it was in your control for the most part)

3. Life is too short to waste time hating anyone. (Hating is great. It truly is. Everyday we are marginalized and reduced to everybody else. Fuck that, hate, love, fight, get smashed, pray, do it all in moderation and don't ever hold back or give into societal norms. Hating when it is warranted is absolutely intoxicating and great for the soul, fuck what you think) 

4. Your job won't take care of you when you are sick. Your friends and
parents will. Stay in touch. (I agree with the first part, but trust me, 99% of the people, your friends and a lot of parents I know won't. Life isn't all roses you 90 year old. Keep a safe distance from everyone and judge everyone before you decide who to really keep close to you. Most will only do it because they have to, not because they want to and they'll do a shitty job)

5. Pay off your credit cards every month. (100% agreement there, fuck the high interest rates)

6. You don't have to win every argument. Agree to disagree. (Fucking idiot, winning matters. If you lose an argument, it means you were a cocksucking faggot. Try to win it all, there is no harm in knowing everything, trust me I do. Don't let anyone reduce you or marginalize you, win em all, even when your wrong perceive it in such a way that you could make a compelling argument that you were right. It matters)

7. Cry with someone. It's more healing than crying alone. (Fuck crying. But showing no emotion is the best way to go about things. Cry alone, when you cry with others you'll hear bullshit about them trying to understand you and shit. Fuck all that " I know how you feel" bullshit, just cry alone and pick yourself up when you feel the need)

8. It's OK to get angry with God. He can take it. (100% agreed)

9. Save for retirement starting with your first paycheck. (No, cause then you die at 50 and some cockfuck enjoys your hard earned money. Don't save for 65, when your dick doesn't work and you can't walk and shit. Save enough to live comfortably when retired (meds and the odd trip) but don't start saving in your 20s, what the fuck you going to do with all that money when you can't jack off and shit)

10. When it comes to chocolate, resistance is futile. (I don't know what the fuck this means but if by chocolate you mean black girls, then ya, resist all the way)

11. Make peace with your past so it won't screw up the present. (The past follows you around and it is 100% impossible to make peace with it. It might screw up your present and future but that is because you allowed it. You don't have to make peace with it, you have to accept it and try to carry what you learned from the situation onwards, it's still going to fuck you regardless but it will make the process much easier)

12. It's OK to let your children see you cry.. (No, because they'll turn out like Justin Bieber and shit, fuck that faggotry)

13. Don't compare your life to others. You have no idea what their
journey is all about. ( Hard to do but I somewhat agree, though comparing it makes it easier and if you can benefit from it, go right ahead. I do it all the time)

14. If a relationship has to be a secret, you shouldn't be in it. (Why are you marginalizing again. Some secrets are worth it. Allow it to grow, allow yourself to figure out what you really want, why the fuck does everyone have to know who you are fucking) 

15. Everything can change in the blink of an eye. But don't worry; God
never blinks. (How does this make the present situation any better? Ya I just lost my son but it's okay because God doesn't blink...yup it makes the process so much easier smh.)

16. Take a deep breath. It calms the mind. (So does alcohol)

17. Get rid of anything that isn't useful, beautiful or joyful. (You can find use, beauty, and joy in any thing in this world, everything. I heard a crackhead describe crack one time on Intervention and it solidified this point)

18. Whatever doesn't kill you really does make you stronger. (No, it brings you closer to death. It might make you stronger but you would have been just fucking fine without it in your life, so no, don't sell hope. Tell it like it is, whatever doesn't kill you will certainly fuck you over at some point, it's called life)

19. It's never too late to have a happy childhood.. But the second one
is up to you and no one else. (This seems like something a pedophile would say so I'll have to disagree)

20. When it comes to going after what you love in life, don't take no
for an answer. (If it's a person, take the no, trust me you'll re-discover yourself and come to the realization they weren't who you loved in the light that you thought, if you talking about strippers, I agree)

21. Burn the candles, use the nice sheets, wear the fancy lingerie.
Don't save it for a special occasion. Today is special. (Umm nah, but I agree with the latter portion, no homo)

22. Over prepare, then go with the flow. (100% agreed)

23. Be eccentric now. Don't wait for old age to wear purple. (But you just told the people to save for retirement from their first pay day, how can they buy what they want when they are saving it for when they can't move and shit......)

24. The most important sex organ is the brain. (Nope, it's this motherfucking dick. While I don't advise thinking with your dick/pussy a lot, during the right times it's 100% necessary)

25. No one is in charge of your happiness but you. (To a certain extent, but their are external factors that contribute to lack of happiness, or more happiness, and it's significant)

26. Frame every so-called disaster with these words 'In five years,
will this matter?' (Yes it will matter, I carry shit with me from the day I was born and I prefer to live that way)

27. Always choose life. (Though I will admit, slamming my car into a brick wall is endearing. I agree, and choose to live while you're at it)

28. Forgive everyone everything. (Fuck no, never. I love to hold grudges, I just do. and some people I won't ever forgive, could only think of one but FUCK NO)

29. What other people think of you is none of your business. (Unfortunately you're wrong. We are unable to see ourselves through our own eyes. Other people matter. How much they matter is completely up to you. Also judge by consensus, if 90% of people think you're a slut/faggot/ass then that's who you are. But don't put everyone on the same scale, value some people much more than others)

30. Time heals almost everything. Give time time. (Probably right but while you wait for time to kick in why not at least attempt to fix it yourself)

31. However good or bad a situation is, it will change. (No opinion on this one, it probably will but refer what I said in #30)

32. Don't take yourself so seriously. No one else does. (I was going to say something here but I won't, nah fuck it. There's a few people, if they didn't take me seriously, things wouldn't be how they are today and vice versa from my standpoint, so you're wrong but nice try. The key is knowing when to take yourself seriously)

33. Believe in miracles. (Couldn't agree more)

34. God loves you because of who God is, not because of anything you
did or didn't do. (So that means he loves Hitler just as much as me because of who God is. Nigga please, God loves you because you make whatever the fuck he gave you worth it for him. If your life ain't worth living, then he don't love you)

35. Don't audit life. Show up and make the most of it now. (You JUST fucking said overprepare.....fuck you're annoying. Audit life and make decisions based on your intuition, don't just make the most of it now, tomorrow could hurt a bit)

36. Growing old beats the alternative -- dying young. (It depends but I'll agree there, to a certain extent)

37. Your children get only one childhood. (More pedophile talk involving kids, I'll steer away from this one)

38. All that truly matters in the end is that you loved. ( I love a lot of things, all that matters in the end was that I fucking lived. I was loved, hated, adored, despised but I fucking lived and my life was worth it. I could die today and say I got everything I ever wanted out of my life and I'd do that with the biggest smile in my face. That's what fucking matters, love is such a small portion to it all)

39. Get outside every day. Miracles are waiting everywhere. (No thanks, sometimes I rather stay in and jack off)

40. If we all threw our problems in a pile and saw everyone else's,
we'd grab ours back. (Yup, so parents who have done everything right but  have a 10 year old dying would want their problems back. In comparison to an idiot couple who over-spent and is getting their house foreclosed. Go head, I talk to this girl at least once a week, tell her that she'd want her problem back: http://www.postpals.co.uk/pals/Jessica+M

41. Envy is a waste of time. You already have all you need. (Yes, but a challenge now and then doesn't harm things, or else life would be boring)

42. The best is yet to come... (We'll see)

43. No matter how you feel, get up, dress up and show up. (This is gay so I'll just blankstare)

44. Yield. (Dunno what this means other than the streetsign)

45. Life isn't tied with a bow, but it's still a gift." (More gayness, what is this supposed to mean to me. It isn't perfect but it's a gift...alright I had enough of this I'll just blankstare again)

Its estimated 93% won't forward this. If you are one of the 7% who will,
forward this with the title '7%'. (Stop it you fag.)

Fuck I was sleepy as shit when I was writing this and now I feel pumped up and shit, this is the most emotion I've put into a blog in the longest time. A pure classic. I'm out, peace

"I'm the Juggernaut Bitch"

1 comment:

Scott said...

10 and 44 were the best. Love blunt humour